I know this update is a tad bit later - I'm trying to work to get back on a weekly schedule. But, this week was really busy for me. On the bright side, SPRING! It's so amazing outside right now that I've opened the window. I never realize that I've got the winter blues until it's spring.
Side note, I'd like to remind everyone to please stop telling me how I should/should not be writing this story. Please, don't tell me how I should end it, who should feel what, or whatever. I appreciate your opinion, and your (useful) input. Thank you to those you've been awesome. I know this story touches on "sensitive" issues. And if those issues make you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to read about them. Problem solved.
X
Chapter 7
It was past midnight when Berk finally came into view. At the first sign of home a terrible fist clutched at Hiccup's stomach. They had stopped to eat but he hadn't been hungry. That fist choked the food in this throat and prevented it from going any further.
As the lights of Berk grew closer his hands began to shake on the saddle. He tried to breath, to calm himself, but it wasn't working. At least, in some small mercy, most of the village would be asleep for their late return.
The dragons landed outside of the house and the silence only magnified the pounding in his ears.
"Hiccup," Valka said lowly, a warning.
"I know," he nodded. He didn't know if he could do this. He swallowed with difficulty and pushed the front door to his own house open. The hearth was quiet and dark. Astrid must be sleeping.
Valka put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to feed the dragons before bed. Goodnight, Son."
"Night."
Hiccup stood in the middle of the room, alone, unsure of what to do. Relax, he told himself, pretend nothing is different. How can he do that? Of course it's different. But, that sly voice in the back of his mind said, Astrid didn't know that. She never had to know.
"Hiccup?"
Hiccup was yanked out of his worry by the groggy voice from the top of the stairs. Astrid was standing there, hair messed, one hand on the wall and the other at her side, looking down at him, one cheek reddened from where she must have been sleeping on it.
"Hey," Hiccup waved his arms.
"What are you doing?"
"I just got home." Hiccup nodded as his eyes drifted from her and to anything else downstairs. "I was just letting it sink in."
"Okay." Astrid yawned. She started down the stairs. "Are you hungry?"
"Oh, um, not really. I can wait until tomorrow."
"Are you sure? I can make you something." Astrid said as she reached the last stair. "Where's your mom?"
"She's feeding the dragons. Long flight."
"As you should be, are you sure you don't want anything?"
"Yes, but thank you." Hiccup clutched his fists in front of his stomach. Astrid was standing by the hearth and watching him with tired interest. Something sharp was jabbing into his chest. He closed the gap between them in a few quick steps and wrapped his arms tightly around her. A small unprepared yelp escaped her throat but she didn't resist. She returned his embrace with loose arms.
"Hiccup?"
"I missed you," Hiccup said into the fur of her hood. She must have fallen straight to bed without undressing. Had she been waiting up for him?
"I missed you, too." Astrid said into his hair as her hand brushed through it.
"I love you,"
"I love you, too? Hiccup, what's wrong?" Astrid's voice twisted into concern.
"Nothing," Hiccup sighed as he rested his cheek against her temple. She was so warm. He readjusted his arms around her and slid one underneath her hood. With the gentle jostle he spotted a slight discoloration. He slid his hand out and plucked it from the fur and examined it. It was a small tuff of fur but it was darker than Astrid's hood. Disregarding it, he flicked it to the floor.
"You tired?" Astrid whispered into his ear.
"Kind of,"
"Then come on," Astrid said as she pulled away. Her grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him toward the stairs. "You need your rest."
Hiccup smiled as he let Astrid lead him up the stairs and to their bed. She helped him out of his leather flight suit and he took the weight from her shoulders. Together, they collapsed into the bed.
X
Hiccup woke up to the gloried sound of silence. He kept still, afraid of provoking noise that would alert the village to his presence, and held the blanket to his chest. Beside him, Astrid slept peacefully. She'd rolled onto her stomach during the night and was snuggled into the pillow. Her golden hair had wormed out of the braid and was strung out. He turned his head to watch her sleep, listen to her gentle breaths, and bask in this small moment of serenity.
He didn't know how long had passed until Astrid began to stir. Her blue eyes fluttered open and she greeted his with a groggy smile.
"Morning," she sighed.
"Hey," Hiccup smiled as one of Astrid's hands drifted onto his chest.
"I can't believe you're still here." Astrid smiled.
"I know," Hiccup half-laughed. "They might not know that we're back yet. Which is fine with me. But, they'll figure it out sooner or later. But, before that, do you still want that picnic?"
"Yes?"
"Then let's go. Right now." Hiccup sat up. Time was running out before someone was at their front door.
"Right now?" Astrid asked. She sat up too, her messy hair falling around her shoulders.
"Well, in like ten minutes. Come on, a breakfast picnic." Hiccup said. "If you'll pack the food I'll get the dragons and pack the supplies."
"Okay," Astrid smiled.
Hiccup jumped from the bed with an enthusiasm he hadn't felt in a long time. He took the stairs at a jog and Astrid meandered down after him. He made it to the door and cracked it first, peering out, and after he made sure there were no immediate Vikings, he slipped out.
Since he married, Toothless had been spending about as many nights in the stable outside the house as inside. Cloudjumper, Stormfly, and he occupied a stable right outside so none of them were ever too far away. He had just stepped onto the hay-littered ground when he heard the call from behind him.
"Hiccup?"
Shit. His chest tightened and he sighed. Turning around, he saw Eret.
"Oh, hey." Hiccup sighed. "You're up early."
"Not really. I don't sleep much." Eret boasted. "You just getting home?"
"Oh, no, we arrived last night." Hiccup shrugged. "But no one knows I'm home yet and I promised Astrid a picnic when I got back."
"Ah," Eret said. "Leaving again before anyone knows you're here? Clever."
"It is if we can get out without being seen."
"Alright, I'll leave you to that." Eret waved as he left.
Hiccup pretended to be occupied with the saddles. He listened to the retreating footsteps. When they were far enough away he glanced over his shoulder to watch Eret's shrinking form.
He is spending an awful lot of time with Astrid. His mother's words resounded. What did that even mean? Why did he hate it so much now? It hadn't bothered him before. He had fallen so easily in to Ata's bed, even though drunken misguided persuasion, who's to say that it wasn't just as easy for someone to fall into Eret's?
No. Astrid wouldn't have done that.
Then again, Hiccup would have said the same thing about himself.
He shook the feeling. He didn't have the right to accuse or speculate. He gathered the saddlebags and attached them to Toothless's saddle.
"Are you ready to go, Bud?"
He warbled warmly in response.
"I promise, this won't be an all day thing. Come on, you too Stormfly." Hiccup said as he patted her horn. She stirred and chirped.
He told them to stay in the stable and out of sight while he jogged back to the house to see if Astrid was ready. He reached for the door but it was opened from the other side. Astrid was standing there, basket in hand.
"Ready?" Hiccup asked.
"Yes," she nodded.
She stepped outside and shut the door.
"Chief!"
"Shit," Hiccup mumbled under his breath at the shout.
"Be nice," Astrid reminded him, obviously also irritated.
"Chief!" the voice came closer.
"Yes?" Hiccup asked.
"It's Gren's boys. He died lat night and they're fighting over the land!"
"Okay, okay, I'll be…right down." Hiccup sighed. He groaned as the Viking ran back down the hill with the news that the Chief was on his way to settle things. He turned back to Astrid, still holding the basket in her hands. "Look, Astrid,"
"It's okay." Astrid nodded. "Go. I'll be here."
Hiccup swallowed. "Noon, I'll come home and we'll go. I promise."
Astrid nodded as she shifted the basket to open the door. She walked back inside the house without a word and the door closed behind her. Hiccup sighed as he jogged down toward the village. He could hear the distant commotion as the square came into view. A fight, it seemed, and broken out of Gren's house and into the street.
X
Why had he done that? It was unnecessary. Eret watched as Astrid retreated back into the house while Hiccup followed the commotion into the village. He felt a little guilty, but his pride was greater. Why was that? What was wrong with him?
He had woken up that morning in no particular mood. But he had felt like sex. Hiccup wasn't home yet, he assumed. However, it was to his surprise when he had gone to see Astrid and there he was. Getting ready to leave with Astrid, nonetheless. Of course, Eret had turned around and left. In the village he had heard the commotion and as the fight spilled out of the house someone cried out for the chief. Eret, being the good sport, told them right where he was.
Why had he done that? He didn't have to. But he had. When he had gone to see her, and heard that she was leaving with him, he'd been angry. There was no denying that. But he couldn't possibly feel…jealous. Could he? No. Eret, Son of Eret was not a jealous man. Then why, he asked himself, did the thought of Astrid spending the afternoon with Hiccup bother him so? She was his wife. He was her husband. She loved him, and had told him so, and would choose him over Eret without hesitation.
But he didn't see any other explanation. Groaning, he reconsidered his motives in this game. Truly, he hadn't carried on an affair like this for this long before. Was he falling for her? Had he already? Gods, he hoped not. That would only end in disaster. But, there was something about her that could affect him so. She was fierce, determined, strong, and…amazing.
Gods, he was, wasn't he?
X
She told herself that she wasn't upset. She wouldn't be upset with him. It wasn't his fault. He was the Chief, he was busy, most of the time. She set the basket on the table and lit the hearth. She thought, for a brief moment of stubbornness, that she should just take the picnic and go. She would have a lovely afternoon by herself.
She took the time to better pack the basket. She'd rushed that morning and the meal had been sparse. She made sure their was plenty of bread, yak butter, mead, dried meats, and even the remains of a cake that Mrs. Ingerman had dropped by. When it was packed again, she slumped down in the kitchen chair.
She could prepare the saddle bags and so when noon rolled around she could kidnap Hiccup from whatever he was doing. Then the village could be mad at her instead of thinking their Chief was skipping his duties. She could do that. Filled with a resurgence of determination she marched to the stables where Stormfly was still snoozing. At the sound of footsteps she perked up and chirped at the sight of Astrid.
"Hey, girl," Astrid cooed.
Stormfly nuzzled her side.
"I know, we haven't been flying in a while. But I'm free today," Astrid said, trying not to sound bitter about it. "What do you say? Hm? Ready to go?"
Stormfly readily squawked and shook her wings. Astrid laughed as the Deadly Nadder jogged out of the stable and pranced. She secured the saddle and was in the air, feeling the refreshing cool wind whip chills into her skin.
She understood why Hiccup wore the flight suit but she'd turn down his suggestion that he make her one. She'd never be caught in one of those, she'd told him. She'd laughed, jokingly, but he'd looked a but downtrodden.
Astrid laughed at the memory. That had been...several years ago now. Three? Four? She wasn't sure. They used to have the entire day to themselves. Stormfly rushed through a cloud as Astrid remembered that day they'd spent flying, finding new lands, adding to Hiccup's precious map. They'd picnicked and laughed and talked to each other. That day…that had been their first. Everything had just felt right.
She sighed into the cold air. Berk looked so tiny from up here.
Where had those times gone? Would it always be like this? This never seeing each other and constantly being apart? It was tiring.
They flew, through the clouds, around the mountains of Berk, but as the sun drifted closer to the highest point of the sky Astrid steered back toward the ground. As the house came into view Astrid could see a tiny spec standing beside the house. Her first hope surged that it might be Hiccup, home early, but as she came closer the spec turned into his mother.
Astrid sighed. Valka hadn't been openly distrustful but she had been distant. Astrid feared that she knew, or suspected. She, like her son, was oddly perspective.
"Dear," Valka called as Stormfly touched down. "Come talk to me,"
Astrid felt a burning balloon suddenly inflate inside of her chest. She nodded, feigned a smile, and slid from the saddle. She could run, right now, and hide somewhere in the clouds. No, that was a ridiculous idea. Valka would find them sooner than Hiccup could.
Taking a deep breath, she followed her mother-in-law's steps into the house. Valka was stirring the hearth fire. Astrid shut the door behind her. The silence was overwhelming.
"Yes?" Astrid swallowed.
"Come, sit," Valka said, without any identifiable emotion.
Astrid meandered to the table and sat down. "You wanted to talk to me?"
"Yes," Valka nodded with a slight smile.
Astrid twisted her hands under the table. Honestly, she was afraid of what was about to come next. Curses? Damnation? Disowning? A rightfully deserved slap to the face?
"Dear," Valka said as she sat down across from her. "Where do you and Hiccup stand on children?"
"Huh?"
"Children, an heir,"
"Oh…uh…well, we haven't really talked about it." Astrid shrugged. "But, it's not like we're actively trying either way."
Valka hummed a response as she nodded.
"Why?"
"I was younger than you by the time I had Hiccup." Valka said. "I don't mean to call you old, but you're not getting younger, Astrid. And the younger you are the easier it is it."
"Right," Astrid nodded. This is what she wanted to talk about? Grandchildren? The balloon deflated a little but she was no less nervous.
"And I would be lying if I said that I wasn't looking forward to a grandchild." Valka smiled. The small wrinkles beside her eyes were smiling, too.
"A baby?" Astrid sighed. She put on hand on her stomach. She'd thought about children, but they were nothing more than passing daydream thoughts.
"And, truthfully," Valka said cautiously, "I know you've been lonely, dear, and a baby would keep you company. I know when Stoick was gone most of the day, having Hiccup there with me was a joy."
Valka reached out across the table and held her hand open. Astrid withdrew one of her from under the table and placed it in hers. She was about to say something when a rapid knock on the door interrupted. Before either could react it was swung open.
"Hello," Eret meandered in, but upon seeing both Astrid and Valka inside his carefree smile deteriorated. He quickly regained his charm, "Oh, good afternoon,"
"Afternoon," Valka said.
Was Astrid wrong if she detected bitterness? She glanced at her mother-in-law as she stood up. Her face was twisted in an obvious dislike of their visitor. That balloon quickly inflated, cramming into her throat, and choked out the words she'd meant to say.
"How are you fine ladies?" Eret smiled as he leaned against the doorway. "I hear that your visit was most hospitable."
"Yes." Valka said shortly.
Astrid tried to swallow. Valka turned to the hearth and she caught Eret's eye. He wiggled his brow and she glared at him.
"Astrid, are you busy?" Eret asked.
"Yes," Astrid nodded. Could he be any more blunt and obvious?
"Really? Because I could use some help with Skullcrusher." Eret pointed with his thumb over his shoulder at nothing.
"Really?" Astrid mocked him. "I'm sure Skullcrusher is fine. It's your that's the problem."
He raised his brow at her tone, but he was undeterred. Astrid sighed. Valka was fiddling with the fire much in the same was that Hiccup fiddles with the saddles.
"Are you sure you don't want to take a look?"
"Yes, I'm busy. I'm waiting on Hiccup." Astrid said bluntly. She wished he'd just leave. She motioned to the basket on the table and adjusted its position.
"Oh, right, I did hear him mention something about that. Noon, wasn't that his deadline?" Eret said, that smock grin spreading across his face as he looked up at the sky.
"Yes, but you know that he's busy." Astrid sighed.
"Yes, yes, of course, but," Eret was cut off by the sound of running footsteps.
Eret glanced over his shoulder just as Hiccup appeared beside him in the doorway. He was out of breath and his words were coming in unintelligible gasps. His hair was messed and there was what looked like charcoal smeared on his cheek.
"Are you okay?" Astrid asked, a glad smile spreading. She didn't miss the disappointment that drifted over Eret.
"Yeah," Hiccup breathed. "Ready?"
"Yes." Astrid nodded. She reached for the basket on the table.
"Let's go," Hiccup motioned.
Eret moved out of the doorway as Hiccup and Astrid passed him. She shot him a glare on her departure. She took pride in his bitter expression, his soured frown, and his knitted brow. Was he upset that she had chosen Hiccup over him? A warmth filled her chest as they fly away from Berk and left him standing on their doorstep. Astrid laughed as she watched the door close, leaving Eret outside.
X
Valka sighed into the hearth as Hiccup rushed into the house. Eret watched him with such bitterness that it wasn't hard to see the jealousy that loomed on his face. Had he honestly fallen for the Chief's wife? Of course, it was easy to see how. Astrid was everything that a wife should be, everything a woman should be, most men would be killing each other over a chance to be with her.
She would like to think that if Hiccup had been around more then Astrid would not have given into temptation. Of course, she only had speculations and suspicion. Eret's impromptu appearance on their doorstep only strengthened them. She had seen him and Skullcursher. Their bond was fine.
"So…" Eret had said when Toothless and Stormfly were shrinking into the air.
"So, I have dragons to tend to." Valka said as she closed the front door, leaving Eret outside. Whether he was still standing out there when she sat at the table or not, she didn't care.
X
Hiccup finally was able to catch his breath when he climbed onto the saddle. He'd run as fast as he could back to the house, avoiding anyone he had to, in order to keep that promise to Astrid. He'd already asked for an extension once that day and didn't want to ask again. When Berk was a spec behind them he spoke up, asking her where she wanted to go.
"Oh, it doesn't matter."
"Are you sure?" Hiccup asked, glancing back at her. "I promised you, anywhere you want."
"I know, but it's not the where that matters. It's you."
Hiccup felt his chest swell with those words. "Okay, but you pick. Your choice."
"Which is closest?"
"Uh…Dragon Island, but, Loki's Jest is just another hop further."
"Let's go there. Loki's Jest."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Astrid nodded.
"Okay," Hiccup steered Toothless slightly to the left. Loki's Jest was a small but quaint groupings of islands no bitter than the village of Berk. A herd of Terrible Terrors were its only inhabitations.
They landed and found a pleasant spot near the beach. The dragons played while the picnic was set out.
"This looks great, Astrid." Hiccup said at the food. Of course, he was starving. He'd declined lunch from several Vikings. He spread yak butter on a piece of bread and gratefully took a bite.
"Hiccup," Astrid said as she poured the mead into two mugs. "Your mother and I had a talk."
"Hm?" Hiccup said with a full mouth. He swallowed and took another bite.
"She encouraged me…or us, to have children."
He nearly choked. He coughed, "What?"
Astrid was looking down at a piece of dried meat in her hands. "She thinks that it'll be good for me. She said that I'm not getting younger and it's easier the younger you are, and,"
"Children?" Hiccup interrupted, "I mean…I don't know. It's just…I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad."
"I'm not either, but…who is?" Astrid shrugged. She was still looking down at the meat.
Hiccup scooted closer. He reached for the dried meat and pulled it from her loose grasp. He took her hand and pulled her attention to him. "Astrid, is this something that you want? Or is it something my mother wants?"
Astrid opened her mouth but closed it. She shook her head, "I don't know."
"Do you want a baby?" Hiccup asked. He tucked one arm around her waist. They'd never really talked about having children before. They'd never had the time. Sooner or later they'd need to tackle the subject.
She looked at him, eyes uncertain, and squeezed his hand. She leaned into him and nuzzled her temple against his cheek, "Yes."
"Are you busy right now?" Hiccup whispered into her hair.
Astrid half-laughed into his neck. "I supposed not,"
He pushed her chin up with his finger and kissed her, snaking his arm up her back and pulling her closer, unlatching the fur and metal from her shoulders. Her fingers fumbled with the buckles on his armor. She pushed the leather from his chest and he helped her pushed it down his legs. He always felt lighter without it, but right now it didn't matter. He stood and pulled her to her feet. He reached for the skirt and with nimble fingers he freed her of it.
He pulled her into the shade of the island's trees. Intertwined, they collapsed onto the grassy ground. One item at a time, skin soon brushed against skin, elation was prodded and provoked until they were gasping in each other's arms. She was moaning into his ear, a hand tangled in his hair, adding her own motion to each thrust. He had felt it coming and with his last moan, Astrid wrapped her legs around his waist and held him while he spilled.
Finished, he collapsed on the ground beside her. She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow and traced a hand along his collarbone.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you, too," Hiccup, breathless, smiled up at her.
X