I apologize. I really wasn't going to make this one a cliffhanger, but who knew that apologizing would be so wordy. I had to break this chapter up or it would be a novel not a chapter :)
The following morning James was up at the crack of dawn annoying the hell out of Jack and the other agents by demanding that they "Hurry up" so they could leave.
"James…for God's sake would you please sit down" snapped Jack as he continued to pack up his gear
"Sorry Jack, but I have to get back to London" replied James in an anxious tone
"I realize that, but you have to realize that we have certain things we have to finish before we can leave. This is what we call the "Business" end of the job…something you apparently know nothing about. M has spoiled you to the point that you go, you shoot, you score and you go home…never mind the cleanup and paperwork that goes on long after your precious head has hit your pillow"
"Look, I'm not stupid you know. I realize that there's a lot of things that go on after the fact but…"
"Yes…things that M is responsible for just like me, so if you don't mind, and you really want to get back in a reasonable amount of time, would you please just go occupy yourself the other room until I'm finished" replied an exasperated Jack "And while you're in there why don't you rehearse what you're going to say to her. It has to be perfect, and for God's sake sincere if she's ever going to believe you"
"Fine!" grumbled James as he sauntered off toward the kitchen
It took Jack and his agents the better part of two hours before they had finished up with the last details and were finally ready to leave.
"All set?" asked James as Jack rounded the corner
"Yep. Let's go get your girl back" replied Jack with a wink
"Yeah…about that…I really don't think that M would appreciate being called my
"GIRL", she's much too sophisticated for that."
"Well what would you like me to call her? You're "Old Lady"?"
"Only if you have a death wish" replied James with a grin "Why don't we just stick to "My Boss" for the moment and let her pick her own term of endearment"
"Now that's the first good idea you've had all day. Alright team…Let's move out" shouted Jack as they all began filing out of the Safe house and into the vehicles waiting to take them to the airport.
The flight back to London took longer than expected due to weather delays, but it gave Jack and James plenty of time to talk and discuss the best course of action as far as M was concerned.
"Well I still say that you need to march yourself into her office and beg for her forgiveness" said Jack
"Yeah but you don't know M like I do. Trust is everything to her and the fact that it appeared that I didn't trust her is like breaking a cardinal rule in her book. I couldn't have hurt her more if I had shot her myself" said James staring at the floor
"James, I'm going to tell you this as a friend. Just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel about her…"
"I have, but I don't think she really, truly believed me"
"Then make her" replied Jack
Once the plane had landed James headed straight for MI6 headquarters. If nothing else, M was dedicated to the point of near obsession with her job and it would be highly unlikely that she would actually follow protocol and subject herself to the mental and physical exams required for ALL agents upon return from a mission. As he entered the office he saw Eve busily typing away and Bill was closing the door to M's office.
"Well well if it isn't the prodigal agent home at last" said Eve with a smirk
"Ha ha…very funny…Is she in?" he asked
"No… as a matter of fact she arrived last night, had a rather heated phone conversation with Mallory and left saying that she was taking a few days off and not to contact her" replied Bill with a rather perplexed look
"Why the look?" asked James quizzically
"Well you know M, nothing EVER rattles her, she has nerves of steel, but she seemed almost well… she just seemed to be in a rather fragile state"
"I'm not surprised, she's been through a lot in the last seventy two hours" replied James "Don't worry, I'll check on her. You don't happen to know if she's been down to medical to be checked out do you."
"I suggested it, which was a big mistake by the way, and she hasn't"
"Don't worry. I'll see that she gets the attention she needs" replied James as he turned and left the office.
James headed for M's flat, but first he stopped by his own flat for a shower and a badly needed shave. If he was going to convince her of anything he needed to look his best. It was getting late when James arrived at M's flat. He could tell she was home by the lights that were on in the flat. As he stood outside the door he silently rehearsed the speech he had been working on all the way home before he finally knocked. He could hear her moving around in the flat and patiently waited and waited before she finally peaked thru one of the small windows that lined each side of the door. He could tell instantly by the look in her eyes that she was most definitely NOT happy to see him and when she opened the door his suspicions were confirmed.
"007…what's this? Ringing the doorbell like a normal person instead of just breaking in" she said sarcastically
"I…"
"What do you want?"
"May I come in?" he asked
"It's rather late. I'll see you in my office on Monday morning" she snapped as she attempted to shut the door
"M…All due respect we need to talk, and either you let me in or I'm going to start shouting your real name as loud as I can until you do" he snapped back
"You really are a petulant child aren't you!" she said as she unhappily opened the door just far enough to let him in. "Shut the door behind you" she said dryly as she headed toward the sitting room
James did as he was told and shut the door before he followed her. M poured herself a drink, and sat on the sofa, making it plain that she did not intend to offer James one as well.
"Do you mind if I pour myself one?" he asked, attempting to discern her mood
"Yes…as a matter of fact I do." She replied as she glared at him "anyway you won't be here long enough to drink it"
"Right then…well..."
"What is it that you want?" she asked bluntly
The coolness in her tone was hard to miss and James was beginning to have serious second thoughts about trying to have this particular conversation at this moment. "I'm here" he thought to himself "May as well get it over with"
"I just wanted to apologize for acting like a complete horses arse" said James as he moved to kneel in front of her
M did everything but stare at the ceiling to avoid his gaze as he continued to speak.
"I had no right to treat you the way I did and I should have…"
"I'm not one of your possessions" she said sharply "You don't own me"
"I know" replied James quietly as he sank back on his feet with his hands in his lap
"This all boils down to the fact that you don't trust me" she said sharply
"That's not true" he said defensively
"Oh really! You could have fooled me by the way you have been acting" she snapped
"Yeah about that…The reason for my unforgivable behavior is…well…" James suddenly found himself at a loss for words as he looked into her eyes "I've never loved anyone like I love you and it's …well it's hard to explain" he said, stumbling over his words
"And just what way would that be?" she asked curiously
"Unconditionally" he finally said
"Unconditionally…That's rich…you really should look up the proper definition of that word before you go slinging it about in your everyday language"
"Look, I'm trying to be honest here. It wasn't that I didn't trust you…It was that I was jealous…"
"You don't say"
"I was just jealous of the fact that it was him and not me that was there to protect you, and rescue you and hold you in the aftermath of this half-baked mission" he replied
"I see" she said, not sounding the least bit convinced
"I don't think you do. I love you M, why can't you accept that?"
"I think I've heard enough"
"What is this really about?" he asked rather bluntly as he leaned forward and placed his arms on either side of her, thus preventing her from getting up
"I don't know what you mean" she said angrily
"Yes you do. This isn't like you. I've seen you stare down dictators and various heads of state along with terrorists and lunatics without so much as batting an eye, but I have never seen you back down, let alone run"
"Who says I'm running" she said, raising her voice
"Well…aren't you. You didn't even hardly let the door shut before you called and had the plane fueled and ready to leave, without me, I might add"
"I saw no point in discussing the matter further as you had made it more than clear how you felt!" she snapped
"NO POINT!"
"Oh God this is just like last time" she said under her breath
"What are you talking about? What last time? You mean 40 years ago?"
"I don't want to talk about it" she said as her eyes began to fill with tears
"M…don't shut me out" he said tenderly "You know, you do this whenever anyone or anything gets too close you shut them out"
"No I don't" she said defensively as she began to push against his shoulders in an attempt to get up
James quickly moved to wrap his arms around her, holding her so tight that she could barely breathe.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she shouted
"I'm not letting you go" he said bluntly "I'm going to hold you until you tell me what's really going on inside that beautiful little head of yours"
TO BE CONTINUED...