AN: So, Rachel's past is next chapter, I already have about half of her past written down already, and am working on typing it. There will be a post for Christmas, but when exactly is debatable. It will definitely be before New Years though. For those of you not in college, finals are upon me, and that means I kind of need to focus on school. I know, I know, that old excuse. But really, I kind of want an education so I need to focus on stupid tests. Meh.
There is foreshadowing here and a cliff hanger I suppose. Fair warning.
You might have noticed that I keep referring to silent conversations between the cheerleaders; this has to do with them knowing each other so well they can communicate without talking, through just looks or touches.
And for your reference. Nicknames for Rachel are as follows: estrella – Santana, Ray – Brittany, Baby girl – Quinn. Other nicknames will be used but these three will only be used by their respective owners.
I noticed I didn't say who said what, and didn't want anyone to get confused.
Chapter 10:
Santana could see how hard Rachel was shaking, Quinn was focused on Rachel's hyperventilation, and Brittany could feel the minute twitches running through Rachel's system. All were symptoms of Rachel's impending nervous breakdown as the diva's mind ran through every worst case scenario imaginable.
The trio needed answers but... they didn't want to push Rachel too hard. One silent conversation later, the Cheerios had reached a conclusion.
Rachel came first, the answers they sought would keep a little longer, Rachel was more important.
Brittany wrapped herself tighter around Rachel, trying to infuse the small singer with her warmth and comfort. Quinn and Santana whispered endearments into Rachel's ear and reassured her that she didn't have to tell them anything, they would be there for her no matter what.
Rachel's breathing slowly returned to normal, the shaking slowed then stopped, and the twitches worked their way through her body.
When all of the symptoms of Rachel's nervous breakdown had subsided, the singer's body sagged with exhaustion. Between the nightmares and the panic attack, Rachel was a little surprised she had not already succumbed to the call of unconsciousness, her eyes fluttered open only by extreme force of will.
"Shhh. Sleep, estrella. You're safe here."
"Don't worry baby girl we'll protect you."
"We'll be here when you wake up Ray."
And with the voices of three lovely girls in her ears, Rachel allowed exhaustion to overwhelm her and fell into an impenetrable sleep.
Safe from nightmares and the horrors of the world.
Protected by three guardian angels.
#RQSB#
Six hours of Rachel sleeping like the dead had Santana and Quinn checking on the singer every ten minutes and developing nervous tics.
Brittany had moved from her place beside Rachel and was now sprawled out on the floor, splitting her attention between homework, Quinn and Santana's antics concerning Rachel, and the deep, even, peaceful breathing emanating from Rachel.
Rachel was blissfully unaware of anything; not even dreams interrupted her much needed sleep.
The trio spent the day enjoying each other's presence, talking and doing homework, while staying within touching distance, or at least visual distance of Rachel's still form.
By the time the sun disappeared below the horizon, Quinn and Santana were going ballistic trying to figure out why Rachel was still asleep, but reluctant to wake her. Brittany was slightly worried, but ecstatic that Rachel was sleeping peacefully. The blond dancer watched Quinn and Santana pace from where she had wrapped herself around Rachel, while playing with the singer's hair.
Rachel finally started to stir during Quinn and Santana's whispered argument about the pros and cons of waking Rachel or letting her sleep.
Brittany was too focused on the arguing pair to notice the few flutters that led up to Rachel returning to consciousness. Quinn and Santana were too invested in their argument to notice much else until the diva spoke.
"I'm awake. Argument over. Now can I get something to eat?" Rachel asked in a drowsy, sleep-soaked voice.
Brittany chuckled, Quinn smiled softly, and Santana just gaped at Rachel open-mouthed.
A raised eyebrow Santana was sure Rachel had stolen off of Quinn reminded Quinn and Santana that they had not answered Rachel's question, while Brittany's chuckles tapered off.
"Sure. What do you want, estrella?"
Rachel yawned and shrugged as she sat up and then attempted to stand. The Brittany attached to her back made Rachel's attempt at standing up an epic fail.
"I don't know. Some type of pasta?"
Santana nodded and turned to leave, only to be called back by a petulant Rachel.
"And a small amount of meat. As Quinn has reminded me, my doctor has insisted I eat more protein and basically ordered me to give up any form of diet. So I will have to get used to eating meat again if I do not want to be lectured the next time I go in for a checkup."
Quinn and Brittany hid their smiles at Rachel's rant, even sleepy Rachel could express her intense indignation at being forced to give up her choice of diet.
Santana gifted Rachel with a soft smile before nodding and heading for the kitchen.
After dinner, which was held in Rachel's room, Rachel drifted off to sleep again, this time in Quinn's arms. The trio was worried about the lethargy Rachel seemed to be stuck in, but agreed to wait until Sunday afternoon to decide on a course of action. Santana and Brittany snuggled into Quinn and Rachel as the trio drifted off to sleep.
The Cheerios were worried about Rachel, but content to have her close.
#RQSB#
Sunrise saw Rachel trying to quietly tiptoe out of her room to make breakfast for the girls, only to inadvertently wake the three girls snoozing on her bed by moving out of their grasp.
The trio agreed to attempt to return to sleep, only on the condition that they could come downstairs in twenty minutes if they had not fallen back asleep by then.
Needless to say, twenty one minutes later the trio was down in the kitchen.
After eating breakfast, the girls spent the rest of the day watching movies, hanging out, and doing homework.
All went to bed that night nervous about how the week at school would go.
#RQSB#
The three Cheerios dogged Rachel's every step on Monday, but Kurt and Mercedes still managed to harass her about leaving Glee, and Finn would not stop shooting her heart broken looks. Since his face was still a multicolored study in pain, his emotional expressions were even more limited than usual. It made it hard for Rachel to even decipher the looks on Finn's face until he glared at the Unholy Trinity, and immediately began wincing because of the pain it caused.
Finn quickly disappeared after Brittany smiled happily at him, Quinn smirked at him, her eyebrow raised, and Santana smiled, cracked her knuckles and blew him a kiss.
Their antics made Rachel laugh and the rest of the day was tolerable because of it.
#RQSB#
Mr. Schuester still did not understand that by 'quit', Quinn had meant that all four girls were not coming back to Glee for a while. So Monday passed with relatively no hassle. Tuesday followed suit.
The calm passed and Wednesday brought the storm.
The time before lunch went by peacefully. The four girls did not see Finn, or Kurt and Mercedes, and relaxed a little, thinking that they had finally gotten the message.
Spanish proved them wrong when Mr. Schuester held them back after class.
"Why have you guys not been to Glee club?" He sounded like someone had kicked his nonexistent puppy, gaze focused on Rachel.
Santana answered him, a frown on her face and pinkies linked with Brittany.
"We told you Friday. None of us are coming back to Glee until it's a safe environment."
Mr. Schuester switched his gaze from Rachel to Santana, and Quinn slipped her arm around the brunette, giving the small singer strength.
"Glee is a safe place. It's a place for everyone to interact together and hopefully build friendships across the boundaries of social status."
When Mr. Schue said stuff like that Brittany could almost believe he was a good teacher that cared about the kids.
Then she would remember how many times he stood by as Rachel had been bullied and even berated the singer himself, and Brittany felt her heart ache at remembering how much the singer had been through.
Quinn snorted and Santana shook her head in disbelief.
Rachel looked at Mr. Schue in shock, wondering how he reconciled his ideas about Glee club with his treatment of her. And then she realized he did not need to. After all, why would he need to recognize the feelings of a thing?
Quinn felt Rachel start to physically shrink into herself, while Brittany swore she was psychic as not only could she recognize the thoughts going through Rachel's head, but also the brunette's feelings.
Santana responded to the vibes she was getting from Quinn and Brittany by scowling heavily at Mr. Schuester, but the vibe she picked up from Rachel made her growl and take action.
The overwhelming feeling of unworthiness permeated the room and made the trio grit their teeth with anger, while Mr. Schuester seemed oblivious.
"You do not get to say that. Not when you watch every day as Rachel gets harassed by others, not doing a thing to stop them, and actually joining them when Rachel tries to defend herself. If it wasn't for the fact that Rachel loves Glee I would tell you we're never coming back. But because she does, we will be back…eventually." Santana took a breath; her angry voice still filling the classroom with its intensity. Santana was well and truly pissed.
Mr. Schue opened his mouth to say something and Santana cut him off.
"As in we'll be back to Glee when you can guarantee our mental, physical and emotional safety."
The Spanish teacher was well and truly stunned. He'd never expected Santana of all people to defend Rachel Berry.
After three seconds of no response, Santana was out of patience.
"Rachel, Quinn, Britts, let's go."
Santana stormed out of the room, closely followed by an attached at the hip Quinn and Rachel, with a light-footed Brittany bringing up the rear.
Mr. Schue sat stunned at his desk until the next wave of students entered.
#RQSB#
They were ambushed after school by most of the Glee club.
The Glee kids had them surrounded in a half circle next to the main double doors that opened into the school.
Quinn and Santana were about to blow a gasket while Brittany held Rachel tightly.
Every nerve in Santana's body went on high alert and a growl rumbled in her chest as the Latina stepped in front of Brittany and Rachel, every instinct telling her to protect her loved ones. Knowing that Quinn was going to fight, Santana's primary concern was the two girls behind her.
Quinn had been looking forward to going back to Rachel's house and relaxing with her girls in front of a movie.
So she had been ticked when Finn had blocked her path on the way to the car.
When Finn did not wilt and disappear under her glare Quinn's bad mood got worse.
When seconds later the Glee club had ringed the four girls in, backs to a wall, Quinn's temper exploded.
"What are you guys doing? ! ! !"
Quinn's voice was steady and dripping with anger. The words came out through gritted teeth and a vein pulsed on the left side of her forehead.
Santana and Brittany noticed the warning signs of an impending smack down. Santana smirked, as Brittany curled closer to Rachel, whose eyes were darting back and forth, looking for an escape.
The Cheerios could feel the terror rolling off Rachel, but none could think of a fast way to get her out of there.
"Please girl, we're the ones that'll be asking questions. So why don't you answer your own."
Mercedes was obviously the ring leader, with the others there by corrosion, or to harass the four girls.
"Well we were just trying to get to our car, but apparently that's not going to happen."
Kurt jumped into the conversation.
"Don't play coy with us. Why are you not coming to Glee anymore?"
Quinn rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"Because of that," here she pointed at Finn, "overgrown child acting like he'd had to share his toys. Rachel is not a thing, she has feelings and thoughts. It's her right to say no when she feels like it."
"Hah. We all know she's in love with Finn. She's getting the attention she wanted. What's the big deal? You should still be coming to Glee." Kurt scoffed, crossing his arms.
The three cheerleaders tensed and turned to glare at Kurt, looking like they wanted to kill him slowly while Rachel curled closer to Brittany as tears started dripping down her cheeks.
The diva kind of believed what Kurt had said. She deserved anything they wanted to send her way.
Quinn stalked forward with a growl, making the ring of Glee kids back up instinctually.
"So you think she deserved it?" Quinn bit out.
Kurt started to nod, but Quinn did not care, ignoring everyone as anger clouded her mind.
"You think Rachel deserved what Finn did to her?" Quinn yelled. "You think she deserved to be abused? No! Finn never should have pressured her for more than she was ready for, and he definitely never should have laid a hand on her!"
Quinn took a few deep breaths to calm down.
"If any of you would like the real story of what happened between Finn and Rachel give me a call, otherwise leave us," she gestured to Santana, Brittany, and Rachel, "ALONE!"
Quinn motioned the other three girls forward.
"We're leaving now. And as for why we're not in Glee any more, we don't feel safe and we won't be back until we do. Please explain that to Schuester as well."
The head Cheerio stalked through the stunned Glee kids, closely followed by Brittany, who was basically carrying Rachel. Santana prowled behind them, glaring at anyone that breathed, much less looked, in their direction.
As Santana's car disappeared down the street, Artie, voice filled with shock, whispered,
"Damn."
#RQSB#
Life continued on as it was wont to do.
Rachel was harassed, although only out of sight of the cheerleaders. The Glee club and Mr. Schue still did not get why the girls had quit, Finn was still an ass, and Rachel was as closed off as ever.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a comment from a jock broke Rachel, and opened the door for Quinn, Santana, and Brittany's entry into Rachel's past, and her heart.
The innocuous taunt that began the breakdown of Rachel's walls came from the tight end of the football team.
Trying to increase his popularity, the sophomore footballer had knocked Rachel's books from her hand and tripped her as she tried to pick them up. He taunted her, leaning up against a nearby locker for a moment.
"Watch where you're going freak, or I might take a special interest in you." He leered, before bumping fists with a wide receiver and making his way to class.
Quinn, Santana and Brittany had been a few steps away, at Rachel's locker watching in shock as the confrontation had taken place.
Santana reached Rachel's side first and managed to pick up the singer's books while glaring down the whispering hallway.
Brittany pulled Rachel into a quick hug and stole the books from Santana before nudging Rachel towards their next class.
Quinn smiled at the pair and squeezed Rachel's shoulder as they passed before stepping up beside Santana. The head cheerleader smirked as the whispers reached her ears.
The students that had witnessed the altercation were all wondering why the idiot footballer had gone against the Santana-enforced "Rachel is off limits" rule. The general conclusion seemed to be that he was dumber then Finn, and did not value his life, or his privates.
Quinn turned to Santana as the bell rang and they strolled toward their next class.
"Plan?"
Santana nodded and five minutes into class, a list appeared on Quinn's desk.
Looking it over, the blonde nodded in satisfaction, tapping a few items as she talked.
"Brittany's gonna want to do this one, and these two are mine. The rest are yours or a combo effort."
Santana grinned and nodded in agreement before refining the list of things she would do to the unfortunate jock, mind already racing with ideas about when and where to fire the opening salvo of retribution.
#RQSB#
Rachel could not get the leer out of her mind. For the rest of the day, she clung to Brittany as much as possible, trying to clear her mind of images she would rather forget.
As they arrived back at the house, Rachel slumped in her seat, the trembling that had started when her books had hit the ground earlier, finally taking over her body.
A small panic attack worked itself quickly through her system.
Regaining her equilibrium, Rachel found herself looking into Santana's worried eyes and felt Quinn running fingers through her hair as Brittany paced a few feet away, a pout on her face.
Once inside, Brittany took over cuddling, drawing Rachel into her arms and refusing to let go. Quinn and Santana laughed and took seats next to the couch Brittany had claimed.
Silence reigned and the atmosphere went from comfortable to awkward.
Rachel broke the silence, surprising everyone, including herself.
"Do you still want to know why I'm so messed up?"
It took the Cheerios a second to respond, brains exploding at the fact that Rachel had come to them instead of forcing another confrontation.
Quickly getting over their shock, Santana and Quinn began to babble about how they were willing to hear anything Rachel was willing to talk about. Brittany just kept stroking up and down Rachel's arm, her fingers never stopping, only tripping over air for a moment as Rachel had asked her question.
Santana and Quinn chuckled slightly as they tapered off and a smile graced Rachel's features before she remembered the topic at hand.
Brittany's constant stroking, up and down, up and down her arm was the only thing that kept Rachel even remotely calm and she could only hope that the calming touch would not stop, even after she had told them everything.
The blonde dancer conclusively answered Rachel's question when she uttered a single word.
"Yes."
Rachel took a deep breath, relishing her last peaceful moment with the three wonderful girls around her.
"Ok. I'll try to start from the beginning, but I apologize in advance. I'll almost certainly have to go back and explain some things. Also, please try not to ask questions until I'm done. I'm not sure how long my ability to talk about these events will last and I'd like to get this done in one go."
Rachel garnered three nods, two seen and one felt, before continuing.
"Ok then. I'll start with my parents."
##RQSB##