Title: More Than It Seems

Author: Minch

Summary: Merlin, Arthur, and the knights are captured. However, their abductor is not interested in the King of Camelot or even Emrys. He only wants the stranger imprisoned with them. What is that stranger's secret, and what does their abductor so desperately want from him?

Rating: T, because I am not going to be nice to these guys in this fic.

Spoilers: Occurs in between Series Four and Series Five.

Disclaimer: I hold absolutely no claim to ownership of Merlin. It belongs to BBC and Shine, Ltd. I'm just someone with a boundless imagination who happens to love the show.

Author's note: I'm borrowing jargon from Tamora Pierce's books. (Don't judge; they're good books.) I'll put a list of the spells I used at the beginning of the last chapter.

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Chapter Eight: Afraid

Merlin opened his eyes. Arthur and the others stood before him. Their faces wore blank expressions, no pain or sorrow or joy. He tried to sit up, but he could only open his eyes. Every other part of his body remained immobile. Slowly the bodies before him faded away like mist in the first rays of the dawn. He wanted to move, to stop them from leaving, but they disappeared. In their places, lights like lanterns floated some feet above the ground.

Before he could get a better look at the lights or count them, he was jerked awake by something tying him up. When he opened his eyes, he saw what it was. There had been ropes lying beneath the bunks. They tied themselves around him, and then wound around the bunk. Another black gag cut off the shout of surprise rising from his throat. He could not budge an inch. The reason for such restraints made itself known when Renault opened the door and five shackled men filed in. His heart lifted–it was Arthur and the knights! Their faces were not cheerful, in fact they looked haunted. But that was a thousand times better than the apathy he had seen in his nightmare.

His joy was cut short by Renault's silky voice. "You are here for your own safety," he told them. He set down two buckets inside the door, reached for something behind him, and set a burlap sack next to the buckets. Merlin could not see what was in any of them. "I will be honest with you. All of you are aware by now, some more than others, that I can no longer trust my guards." He glanced significantly at Alder. Merlin saw that he was bound and gagged as well. "I must wait for some days before I can call up the one I seek, so here is where you will stay." Without further ado, he closed the door. The ropes and gags dropped away, slithering back under the beds like snakes.

"Merlin, thank God," Arthur said. He looked the worst for wear. Dark circles under his eyes contrasted with the pallor of his skin. "We worried when Renault took you."

"You were worried for me?" Merlin's question was not phrased as a joke; he saw the genuine relief in all of their faces.

"We heard the guards," Elyan said as the knights settled on shelves, "When you didn't come back after Renault threw them out, we thought he'd killed you."

"What happened to 'em?" inquired a wearied voice. Alder had risen from his bed and approached them, though he remained a few paces back. The swelling on his face had gone down so that he could see out of both eyes. He clutched a blanket around him.

"You're Alder?" Arthur asked, looking a bit more like a king he was than he had seconds before.

"I am," the boy replied resignedly.

"You're a sorcerer?"

"Not that it'll do me any good here." When Arthur opened his mouth, Alder explained further. "I can start a hearth fire or put one out, but nothin' more than that. And e'en if I could, there's sommat in the chains that keeps me from usin' magic. I don' dare try to break 'em or I'll kill myself."

Merlin glanced at his chains. Could he do it? He did not think that any spell Renault cast could keep him bound for long, but if he did survive breaking the chain, he knew his chances of surviving the blood loss were not good.

Even if he could survive, something else made him hesitated. But before he could decide what that something else was, he was brought back from his musings by Alder. "What happened to the guards?" the boy asked again.

Leon spoke this time. "Renault put the guards in your old cell, except for one of them. Said something about making an example of him." Alder nodded once and shuffled past them to look out the window.

"Hey, look at this." Gwaine had gone to examine the buckets and bag by the door. From the sack, he pulled out some loaves of bread and a wooden bowl. He threw the bread at the others. Merlin caught one and discovered that it was surprisingly only a day old. Gwaine carried the buckets and bowl to them. The larger bucket held water; the other was empty.

"How long have we been here?" Merlin asked. He helped the others tear up the bread into shares for the seven of them.

"It was evening when we were captured," Arthur recalled.

"We slept out the night," Elyan added. "I overheard the guards."

"Then there was yesterday, and now today," Leon finished. Merlin looked in surprise out the window. It was indeed dawn. He also realised how hungry he was, his last meal having been the fish two nights before.

He picked up his bread, plus one for Alder, and walked to where he looked out the window. "Here." He handed some bread to the boy.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." Alder looked out the window at freedom, separated from it only by a few metal bars.

"When did you last eat? Before we were captured?" Alder did not answer. "It's been two days since then."

Alder gave in. Taking his piece, he sank to the floor to eat. Merlin sat across from him. The boy took his time, chewing so slowly that he had eaten less than half by the time Merlin polished off his.

"Merlin," he started quietly. "I–I don' know how to say this, but yesterday…Yeh spoke aloud." His eyes shifted quickly, never looking in one direction for more than a second. "I heard…everythin'."

Merlin did not know what to think. Oddly, he was at peace with the admission. If he had heard Alder's memories, it was only reasonable that Alder had heard his.

He looked at the boy. The morning light struck his eyes and illuminated the emerald irises with a tinge of ash. Those eyes were tortured, haunted by the horrors they had seen and endured. "I know."

Alder looked to the floor, his expression pained. "Yeh know," he repeated. "Yeh know."

Merlin did not know what to say or do. What comfort could he offer for this boy? What consolation could be given to ease the pain? He appreciated the hurting; he felt it himself.

Gently, he put a hand on Alder's shoulder. Alder grasped the manservant's hand in thanks.

"I was tellin' yeh 'bout the mound…" Alder started to say.

"You don't have t–"

"I need to," Alder said grimly. That shut Merlin up. "There's a strange mound a ways out of my village, Stonesbury. No one knows what it's for or how long it's been there or anythin'." He paused, took a breath to steel himself, and continued. "I went poking 'round it and…I remember a door opening…what I truly remember next is waking up, tied to a tree. People said they found me wandering around the forest and, when they tried to stop me, I turned on them."

Merlin listened, completely captivated not only by his words but by the transformation he saw in the boy. Though he still looked at the floor, the expression on his face was changed. It reminded him of Gaius when the old physician spoke of the past. He seemed older, looked as though he had seen much pain. His voice also changed. It became steadier and more distinct, not muddled by his usual thick brogue.

Merlin glanced at the knights, but they were engaged in their own discussion and did not notice. "It went on like that for a few months," Alder continued. "Every now and then, I would black out, not remember anything for a while. And–and people said I was going mad. They did not like me in the first place because I did not know my father and–"

Gwaine dropped down to sit on the floor with the two of them. "I don't believe we've met," he said, as cheerful as if they were in the tavern, not being held captive by a madman.

"No, we haven't," Alder agreed coolly. He watched Gwaine carefully, his manner reverting back to suspicious instantly.

"Well, I'm Gwaine. What's your name?"

"Alder."

"Cheery lad, aren't you?" Alder answered this with a single raised eyebrow. "It's a joke," Gwaine explained deadpan.

"Forgive me if I don' laugh," Alder said unsmiling. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Both Merlin and Gwaine sensed that he was done talking for a while, so they stood and went back to the others. Their conversation finished, they silently sat on the beds or leaned against the walls.

"How is he?" Arthur murmured.

"Alder?" Merlin shook his head. "I don't know. He wouldn't let me see to his bruises."

"Bruises?" Leon asked. He also spoke quietly.

"From the guards." Merlin made a face at the memory. "Arthur, I think he's telling the truth."

"About what?"

"That he can't use magic."

"How can you be sure?"

"Renault told him that if he tried to use magic, there was a spell in the chains that would kill him." He did not say that the warning was directed at both of them. He also did not mention that there was a special punishment in store for him if he tried any magic.

The conversation dropped as silence wrapped itself around them like a woollen blanket. Occasionally, someone would say something. Someone else might answer, but the exchange would not last. Everyone was preoccupied with memories of what had happened, trying to make sense of what Renault had done. Their very minds were invaded. Every secret exposed, every sorrow uncovered, every crevice defiled.

Merlin used the time to test the chain, one last time. He let his magic drip down until it covered the skin under the shackles. Gently, he let his hold go a little bit at a time. The shackles suddenly tightened. He pressed a hand to his mouth rather than let the pain make itself known to everyone in the room.

The next time you try that, he flinched as Renault's voice spoke in his mind, I will cut off Arthur's feet. The chain pressed even tighter before letting go. All of the power I have taken before now is devoted to chaining you down. And I can spare it. Do. Not. Test. Me.AGAIN. Besides, what the bastard will give me is far greater than anything even you possess. Merlin still did not make a sound, suffering the pain in silence. But he knew the monster was entirely serious. He did not dare use magic now. He could live with his own maiming, but there was no way in the world that Merlin could live with the knowledge that Arthur would be crippled because of him.

But he was already crippled. For the first time in years, he was afraid to use his magic. He was afraid to be who he was. Magic might not be evil, as he had said so many years ago, but he had not used it entirely for good. He was just as much a monster as Renault.

But Renault, he had violated Merlin's mind, poisoned his memories with his putrid imprint. He knew things about Merlin that no one, not even Arthur or Gaius, knew.

Vaguely, Merlin thought of his destiny, that Arthur would one day unite Albion in a golden age of prosperity. It was a prophecy. And, if he knew anything about prophecies, they came true. Even when he did everything in his power to stop them from being realised, they did so anyway.

Camelot was prosperous now, but still far from that utopian age of the prophecy. Which meant, that age was yet to come. They would somehow get out of this terrible place.

That knowledge lit a small spark of hope in Merlin's soul. It was a candle in the wind– flickering in the shadow Renault cast on his soul, but still alive.

The hours passed. The shadows moved across the room. Alder eventually joined them, taking the bunk he had before. On occasion, they would pass the water around and drink. In due course, they discovered what the empty bucket was–a chamber pot. "Don't put it there," Leon said to Elyan when he tried to put it back under the bed. "It stinks."

"They usually do," Merlin observed. "Here." He took the bucket and set it down under the window, as far away from their noses as he could put it.

"You know quite a bit about these things," Gwaine said. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I've been in the dungeons once or twice," Merlin played along, not looking once at Arthur. "The stocks, too, come to think of it."

"Whatever could you have done to wind up in there?" Arthur rolled his eyes. The other knights fought to keep straight faces. "Nicked a dumpling from Audrey?"

"Oh no, nothing so serious as that; just–"

"Just threw a punch at the prince?" Arthur offered.

"Just threw a punch at an ass that had the power to throw me in the dungeon for a night," Merlin maintained. "And then in the stocks for good measure."

"You called him an ass?" Leon asked. "I never heard that part of the story."

"And you'll do everything in your power to forget you ever heard it." Arthur glared at them. "All of you."

"Yes, sire," they chorused amid partially-stifled chuckles. Even Alder cracked a grin.

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Check on 27 September for Chapter Nine.

Thanks to everyone who decided to take those few seconds to tell me what they think! Now, can everyone else review?