If Kakashi being portrayed as gay offends you, don't read this chapter, not even if you want to read about Naruto getting bopped on the head and punched in the face and chased by pissed off girlfriends.

This chappie is dedicated to: flashley630

Thanks for reviewing: flashley630, Frozen Wolf13, million bullets, and MissBrown22241

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The DOs and DON'Ts of Sexuality and Dates

DO assume that since Kakashi can read his little orange book without getting nosebleeds, he must be gay.

The three genin members of Team 7 thought themselves to be very nice to their teacher (save that accident with the spider, and Sasuke burning his book, and Rin…). Anytime their teacher looked lonely, they would set him up on a date with a pretty girl.

Kakashi would smile, and go on the date, but he would never see the girl again. He always had an excuse too – she was too talkative; she was too quiet; her hair was too long; her hair too short; and their favorite: she doesn't like guys, she like's girls.

"I bet he's gay," Naruto said one day. "I mean he reads those books and never gets a nosebleed. Even I can't do that. OW! Sakura-chan that hurt!" Sakura had bopped him on the head and was now glaring at him.

"That would actually explain a lot," Sasuke said. Sakura immediately agreed with Sasuke, causing Naruto to grumble. Then Naruto grinned.

"And think Sasuke, you and he were all alone during that month before the third part of the Chuunin Exams. Makes one wonder if training was all you were doing." Sakura outright punching him in the face was worth the slightly panicky look on Sasuke face in Naruto's opinion.

"So we've been setting him up with the wrong sex," Sakura said. "Instead of a nice girl, we need to find him a nice guy."

"Iruka-sensei's a nice guy!" Naruto said, happily.

DON'T try to set him up with Iruka

Iruka blinked in confusion. He had made plans with Naruto to go get Ramen, deciding it was about time he told Naruto that he was dating Anko Mitarashi. But instead of Naruto waiting for him, a bored looking Kakashi was.

"My team is trying to set us up on a date. I think they forgot to make sure you were gay and not taken already," Kakashi said. Well, at least he was blunt about it. Maybe he should have told Naruto about Anko sooner – much sooner. Wait…

"How did Naruto get the impression that I'm gay in the first place?" Iruka asked.

"No clue," Kakashi said. "Not even sure how they figured out I was gay." Kakashi looked Iruka up and down. "You're not even my type."

"Maybe you should tell them your type then," Iruka told him, grabbing his arm and dragging him the other way. "If we're going on a date, my girlfriend is coming too. Anko-chan ought to get a kick out of this."

The Next Day

"So, how was your date last night Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"He didn't like boys, he liked girls, and he would like to know how you ever thought he was gay," Kakashi said, directing the last part to Naruto. Naruto grinned sheepishly, putting his hand behind his head.

"Well, he never goes out on dates."

"Tell that to his girlfriend."

"Huh?"

"Besides, I prefer guys that aren't so…innocent-like." Better not tell them that Anko is into bondage; that might scar them.

Later That Day

"So who do we know that isn't innocent-like?" Sakura asked.

"Gai-sensei?" Naruto asked. "OW!" Sakura had bopped him on the head again.

"We want to make him happy, not traumatize him for the rest of his life!"

"Asuma-sensei isn't innocent-like," Sasuke said. Sakura, as before, immediately agreed with Sasuke.

OR Asuma

Kakashi sighed. Maybe he should have told his students to make sure the next guy they set him up with was actually gay (though technically Asuma was bi), or not taken (his girlfriend, Kurenai, on the other hand, did not like to share).

"They what?" Asuma asked.

"Are trying to set me up on dates, and have finally figured out I'm gay. You are possible guy number two," Kakashi repeated. Asuma burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Kurenai asked, slipping into the seat next to her boyfriend.

"You're never going to believe this 'Nai," Asuma said, before repeating what a Kakashi had just told him.

A loud, female, "WHAT!" could be heard all around Konoha.

The Next Day

"Yesterday's date go any better?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm…why don't you ask his girlfriend," Kakashi said, pointing behind him. Naruto turned and looked.

Even if Kakashi is gay, both of them are straight, and their girlfriends will be pissed.

There was Anko Mitarashi and Kurenai Yuuhi coming up the path to the bridge, heading straight for the genin of Team 7.

"Um, guys," Naruto said, catching the attention of Sasuke and Sakura. He pointed towards the pissed off women. "We should probably…RUN LIKE HELL!" The three genin took off.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!" both Anko and Kurenai yelled, running after them.

Kakashi sighed, before following after them. His students were just trying to make him happy – he shouldn't let Anko and Kurenai kill them because of that.

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This is part of a huge update of all my stories. This is like number 21 of 27. Anyway, please read and review. Next chapter: the DOs and DON'Ts of Sake. Smiles!

Rune