Warning: lots of angst, and no fluff or smut. Read with caution. Sorry.

Set after Barry and Caitlin have been married for a couple years.

Rated: K+

"C—Caitlin? Cait?" Barry's voice sounded weak and shaky, even to his own ears. He clears his throat, and tries again, "Caitlin?" She doesn't respond, doesn't even move from her spot on their bedroom floor, she just keeps making those awful sobbing noises.

He starts to move toward her, but Cisco appears in the doorway behind him and beats him to it. He doesn't say anything, just puts his arms around Caitlin and allows her to sob into his chest. Barry's mouth feels dry. Why in the world is his wife…?

"How could he do this to me?" Caitlin says through staggering, sobbing breaths, "How could he leave me like this!? He—he wasn't supposed to leave!"

Cisco makes comforting sounds, rubbing her back, but he himself has tears running down his face.

The doorbell rings, and Barry awkwardly excuses himself to answer it, although both Cisco and Caitlin ignore him. Iris, Eddie, Joe, Felicity and Oliver all enter before he can answer the door, however. Barry notices that neither Felicity nor Iris is wearing their usual brightly-colored dresses; Felicity's in black and Iris—who's eyes are red and puffy—is in dark grey.

"Th—thank you for coming," Caitlin says as she and Cisco enter the room.

Barry tries to talk to her again, "Cait, I didn't know we were having people over-?"

Iris pushes past him to envelop Caitlin in a hug. She accepts it, hugging Iris back hard, and Barry hears her muttering into Caitlin's ear, "He loved you, okay?" Loved? His heart hammers and his throat tightens-who are they talking about?

Oliver, his jaw set, puts his arms around Caitlin and hugs her next—something Barry's never seen and found a little unnerving.

As Joe takes a turn to hug Caitlin (what's with all the hugs? Caitlin isn't a very huggy person...), everyone is still ignoring Barry, which is freaking him out more and more. "Guys, could someone please—" he tries, now aiming his words at Eddie, who he's sure will at least be sensible enough to answer him, but he's interrupted by the TV.

"The tragedy will be felt by the entire city. Although nothing is confirmed, it does seem that the infamous Flash—our city's hero—finally met his match and was defeated—"

"Turn that off!" Felicity demands, her voice breaking. Eddie, who's closest to the remote swoops down to pick it up, following her command with a hard, almost determined expression on his face.

A cold fist closes around Barry's heart as he realizes what's happened. "No," he says aloud, but, just as he expected, no one hears him.

"Caitlin," he tries to take her hand, but his fingers keep slipping past-no, slipping through hers as he reaches for her.

He doesn't listen to what the minister says when they go to the church, nor does he even pay attention to the speeches that are given afterwards. He only watches Caitlin, who's sitting between Joe and Cisco. Oddly, she doesn't cry during the ceremony. She only stares at the minister as he talks, hanging onto his every word as if it were him talking.

She goes back to their house alone, followed only by Barry. Her phone rings, and Barry has enough time to see that it's Oliver calling before she hits ignore and puts it away. He follows as she enters their house and walks slowly up to their bedroom. She sits on the bed that they use to share—the bed that they spend so many beautiful nights on together—and picks up his pillow. She puts it to her face and breathes in, and he knows she's trying to hold onto one last piece of him.

Her phone rings—Oliver again—and she answers this time. "What," she snarls into the phone, her voice thick.

Oliver's voice, tight but unwavering, speaks, "You can miss him. That's alright. But, he'd want you to move on, too."

"I don't want to move on," she snaps.

"But Barry would want it," Oliver answers simply.

"Oh what would you know about what Barry would want?" she scoffs back before hanging up.

"No, no, Cait," he mutters, wishing she could hear him, "He's right. You'll have to move on, okay? Find someone…" he smiles to himself, "…find someone new to be crazy about. Okay?" He knows she can't hear him, but he hopes—prays—that she'll be able to understand his message, somehow. He wants her to be as happy as possible. To find someone to grow old with, who'll love her as much as he does (no, no, that's not possible. No one could ever lover her as much as he does).

He watches her reach under her shirt and bring out something lying around her neck in a chain—a ring. His ring. Hers is still on her finger, as pretty and perfect as when he first put it there, but his is now in the palm of her hand. She closes her fist around it and shuts her eyes.

"Barry," she says, her voice thick, "I don't know if you can hear me.."

"I can. Caitlin, I can hear you."

"…but if you can, I just want you to know…I love you so, so much. And I'm never going to stop loving you. Not ever. And—and I swear to you, there'll be no one else. No one else but you."

"No!" he reaches for her, "No, no Cait. This can't be how your story ends. Yes, this is how mine ends, but this isn't the end for you. You still have a life to live…"

She opens her eyes and her fist, planting a small kiss on his ring before tucking it safely under her shirt. "Goodnight, Barry," she says, and, for a moment, she seems to look straight at him.

Barry shakes his head. "This isn't the end for you, Caitlin Snow-Allen. Just because I'm gone doesn't mean you have to stop living, too. This isn't the end for you. It can't be the end for all of us! Please, Caitlin. Please, for me...live."

And, he's not sure if it's his imagination, but she seems to nod, as if she heard him, or at least got his message.

And all Barry can think, is, although he may be dead, at least his Caitlin will still be okay.

Sorry.

~J.H.