I've Never Seen A More Closed Off Man

by carolinelaughs

This is a sequel story to my first story, "And Deep Down, You Know She's Right". Set in the same universe, this one is all about Steff and his life, and relationship with Elizabeth, again told from her point of view. This story is about their relationship/ups/downs, etc., Centrally focuses on Stefan's aversion to socialization which was briefly touched on in the first story.

6. Chapter 6

This chapter is crazy all over the place with what its about, but mostly, of course, it's about Elizabeth's relationship to Cynthia, which I mean to be the main focus of the story. Also, I know, I went a little nuts with "you are fat" trope, but Elizabeth is deeply insecure, and has "I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me" syndrome, in case you couldn't already tell, and feels the need to remind literally everyone, because she's a little crazy. Of course, I don't endorse such behavior from anyone but a fictional character, and no, I don't think making fun of fat people is okay. Small disclaimer, in case people thought I was bigoted against fat people or something.

Enjoy!

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Elizabeth routinely saw Stefan off, at the front door of their apartment each morning. This was exactly what she was doing, one day, her due date ever closer, when she felt a sad, aching feeling, and, when he kissed her goodbye, in preparation for leaving, she grabbed him, around the waist suddenly.

Stefan cleared his throat, looking startled for a brief moment, but then patted her on the back, gently. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide with anguish.

"All right, Lizzie." Stefan said, attempting to disentangle himself from her grasp, but she wouldn't let go.

"Stefan.." said Elizabeth.

"Yes, Lizzie?"

"I worry about you."

"Do you?" Stefan said. He bit his lip, looking at her consideringly. "Why?"
"Because...I'm worried that somehow, you might ingest some...nut, or nut extract, and then you could have an allergic reaction." She leaned her head against his neck. "You could die."

"That's not likely to happen." Stefan said. "And if it did, I have a kit here, of course."

"What if you're all alone, and there's no one there to administer the shot, Stefan?" she asked. "What happens then?"
"If I thought like that, I couldn't get anything done, now could I, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "Besides, there are always people around at work, as I'm sure you know."

"I think you should stay home with me, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "Just one day. Just in case."
"In case what, Elizabeth?" Stefan said.

"In case you have an allergic reaction." Elizabeth said. "In case something bad happens."
Stefan patted her on the back, gently. "That's silly, and you know it." He smoothed her hair. "Come on, now. Be rational."

Elizabeth sniffed. "You're always patronizing me."
"Well, aren't I your patron?" Stefan said.

"Of what? My cookies?" Elizabeth said, though she regretted saying it, after it had been spoken aloud.

"What sort of cookies?" Stefan replied archly. Elizabeth made a noise of disgust, shaking her head.

"Your cookies are very tasty, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"Oh, please." said Elizabeth. "How very sophomoric. I'd think you'd be above that."

"I'm above nothing, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Not unlike yourself." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth said contritely. "I'm so sorry."
"You said it, didn't you?" Stefan replied. "The damage is already done."
"I was just upset, because...you don't take anything I say seriously." said Elizabeth. "My worries are legitimate."

"No, they're not, Lizzie." replied Stefan. "You're just allowing yourself to give into irrational thoughts."

"Maybe I am." Elizabeth replied. "But they're still my feelings, aren't they?
"Feelings aren't what counts, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Reality is. Logic is."

Elizabeth sniffled. "I think you should stay with me." she said. "Just this once. Can't work wait for a day?"
"No, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He turned to go.

"Wait. Please." said Elizabeth, grabbing onto him again. "Hold me. Just for a minute."
Stefan put his arm around her, and embraced her, staying that way for a moment. But it was not a long enough moment for Elizabeth, and he soon was protesting tardiness for work again.

"Stay with me." said Elizabeth. "We'll catch up. On time together."

"Elizabeth, I can't." Stefan said. "Mr. Garvey will be coming in at ten, and-"
"Oh, screw Mr. Garvey." Elizabeth said. "You're needed here."

"No, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"You don't like me anymore." Elizabeth said, in a mock hurt tone, but she did feel hurt at his rejection.

"Of course I do." Stefan said. "I love you."

"Really?" Elizabeth said, looking at him with wide eyes, exaggerating, but she could never fake the joy those words always gave her.

"Of course." Stefan replied. "Always."
She held onto him a little longer. "Stay with me." she whispered softly.

"I'd love to." said Stefan.

"Good-"
"But I can't." he finished. "I'd love to be in bed with you, or just...in bed at all, for that matter. But I must work, Elizabeth. If I weren't a lawyer, I'd be very unhappy. It's very important to me, you know."

"As important as I am?" Elizabeth said. "As important as...us?" She ran a hand over her protruding abdomen.

"I'm working for us, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "For you and our children."

"I know." Elizabeth said. "But..I want to make sure you know...how much I love you."

"And I appreciate it." Stefan said.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?" said Elizabeth.

"Within reason, of course." said Stefan.

"Of course." said Elizabeth. She leaned her head against his chest. "I just...adore you so much.."

"As I adore you." Stefan said. "But-"
"That I'd do anything-" said Elizabeth, moving her head further down his chest. "to make you stay here. You know, I talk a lot of smack, but I really love you, tubby."
"Tubby?" Stefan said incredulously.

"Shhh." Elizabeth said, her cheek pressed against the fabric of his suit coat. "You know how I...crave...portly men, Stefan. Just saying the word 'tubby', is making me...uncontrollably aroused."

"Elizabeth..."

"I love you so much," Elizabeth said, inching her head down just a bit further. "that I just...have to find some way to express it. I want to...show you how much I love you." She looked up at him, a wide-eyed look of comic adoration on her face, button nose tilted adoringly up at him. She rubbed said nose against his waist, looking up at him again.

"Elizabeth," Stefan said. "much as I'd love for your head to slide further-"
"Oh, shut up." Elizabeth replied crossly. "I know, I know. You've got to go to work. If I hear you say you have to work one more time, I won't be responsible for what I do."

"I must work, Lizzie." Stefan said, but with noticeably less conviction. "Mr. Garvey is coming in at ten."

Elizabeth began kissing, steadily lower, and lower. "I really, really love you, Stefan." she said. "I want you to know that."

A low, clenched groan escaped from Stefan as she kissed lower, and more slowly, and Elizabeth smiled with satisfaction.

"I've got to work." Stefan said, his voice almost a whisper. "Do you think I have all day for your games? Mr. Garvey will-"
"Did you ever see that movie, Teaching Mrs. Tingle?" Elizabeth interrupted. "Great movie. It starred that chick, who married Tom Cruise. Toby used to say I look like her, but I don't see it. Anyway, it was all about these students, who kidnap their teacher, who's this cunning, predatory, highly intelligent, scary woman. Person." She looked at him pointedly. "And even tied up, and in a situation that should rob her of her dignity, she'd still be playing mind games, and psychological cat-and-mouse, and still be scaring the shit out of them." She reached up and patted him, and looked up to find him looking at her, in quite a sharp-eyed manner for her tastes.

"My job is far too-"

"Yep. Some people have to truly be tamed, or they will always have the upper hand." said Elizabeth. She cleared her throat sharply. "Don't you agree?"
"Elizabeth-"
"Be sure to stroke my hair." Elizabeth said, placing his hand against the back of her head. "And do it gently, please. Tenderly."

"Always." said Stefan.

Elizabeth looked up at him, her eyes overflowing with emotion. "I love you so, so much." she said, her soft voice urgent.

"Did I do good?" said Elizabeth, sometime later, as they lay in bed.

"Of course you did." Stefan said. "I think you turned my tongue a different color."
"You mean...sweet, innocent Lizzie?" said Elizabeth, widening her eyes. "Not some bombshell, like Bennie? Or that one you lost your virginity to when you were fourteen?"
"I'm not proud of that, you know." Stefan said softly. "But yes."

"A mere 'chipmunk'?" Elizabeth asked. "Can be responsible for changes in your tongue's color?"

"Seems so."

"Well, isn't it a wonder." said Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth." said Stefan quietly. "Did you mean all that you said to me, or were you just trying to get into the moment?"

"About Mrs. Tingle?"

"About...when you kept saying how much you loved me, Elizabeth." Stefan said quietly. "Did you...mean that?"
"Of course I did." said Elizabeth. "You know that."

Stefan patted her hand. "Good."

"Why?" Elizabeth said, looking at him suspiciously.

"Why what?"
"Why do you ask me if I meant it?" said Elizabeth. "Do you think that my love is...scary?"
"Scary?"
"Yeah." Elizabeth said. "Coming from a...crazy person. Like Annie Wilkes was. I mean, were you frightened by what I said, because you think my love is...all-consuming, dark, creepy, obsessive...scarylove? And that's one word, by the way. Scarylove." She looked at him.

"No." Stefan said, his tone grave. "I didn't mean anything whatsoever like that. Please, spoil the moment."

"I'm sor-"
Stefan turned to her. "That sounded...awfully...specific, Lizzie. An awfully specific...vivid, description." Stefan looked at her. "One would hope...that you weren't thinking of someone...in particular, when you said that."

"No." said Elizabeth quietly. "I wasn't."

"Good." Stefan said. "Because if you did...well, grey wolves bleed too, you know." He studied her for a moment, holding an intense gaze that was no doubt supposed to make her squirm, and it did, but because his eyes had a look that told her exactly how all-too true the meaning behind the rather comical metaphor was.

"Nothing like that, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I was just thinking of myself."

"Well, I would never think anything like that about you." Stefan said. "Why do you always think the worst of me?"

"I don't." said Elizabeth. "I was just talking." She stroked his arm.

"Grey wolves can be hard to tame, though." she said.

"Uh huh."
"Even with their...paws manacled, they could still give you a vicious bite." Elizabeth said. She cut her eyes over to him. "Couldn't they?"

"They could." said Stefan.

"There's nothing I like more than tying down a grey wolf, Stefan." Elizabeth informed him.

"Uh huh." said Stefan. "Well. They secretly like it, of course."

"They sure do." said Elizabeth.

Several days later, Elizabeth had waited patiently until Stefan left for work, and patiently through several boring shows on morning television, and one airing of Groundhog Day, before she made her first phone call, at noon. She was very apprehensive about doing this, and if Stefan found out, he would likely have her committed to an insane asylum, but she was curious.

The phone rang three times, before being picked up.

"Hello?" The woman's voice on the other end was low, throaty. Elizabeth cleared her throat nervously.

"Yes. Hi." Elizabeth's own voice sounded nervous, and high-pitched to her own ears. "Could I speak with...is this Cynthia?"
"Yes." Cynthia said. "Speaking."
"Um..." Elizabeth licked her lips nervously. "Cynthia Patrice Bishop?"
"Uh...yeah." Cynthia said.

"Yes, this is...um." Elizabeth cleared her throat. She shook her head, remembering that she was a fully grown woman, and could carry off such a call with great poise, if she put her mind to it. "My name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Grey."
"Okay." Cynthia said. "And you're selling something, right?"
"No." Elizabeth said. "No, I'm not."
"Okay. Do I know you, Elizabeth?"
"No." said Elizabeth. "But you used to know...a friend of mine. Well, not. Actually. My husband. You used to know my husband."
"Okay." Cynthia said. "And how did I know your husband?"
"You were...you were engaged to him." Elizabeth said.

There was a silence. "I was engaged to your husband?" Cynthia said. "When?"
"Oh, around...'91. '90. Something like that."

"Oh, no." Cynthia said. "I guess you mean...Stefan." She cleared her throat.

"I do." Elizabeth said. "That's right. Stefan. You remember?"

"I tried to forget." Cynthia said flatly. "Thanks for reminding me."
"Why?" Elizabeth said fervently.

"Why what?" Cynthia said.

"Why did you try to forget that you were engaged to Stefan?"
"Why?" said Cynthia. "Because...Stefan is...not a picnic to be engaged to, that's why."
"You cheated on him." Elizabeth said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Cynthia said. "Let's back up. You're his wife, you say."
"Yes. I'm his wife. Elizabeth. That's my name."

"And you're calling me." Cynthia stated. "Why?"
"Because..." Elizabeth said. "I want information. From you. About Stefan."
"Can't you ask..him whatever it is you want to know?" Cynthia said.

"No." Elizabeth said. "I want to hear your perspective. On him."
"Why would this be?" Cynthia said. "Why do you need to hear my perspective, especially if you're already married to him?"
"Because...we're going to have a baby." said Elizabeth.

"And..?"

"I want to know...if he's really all he says he is." said Elizabeth. "Or is there more to the story."
"Is that so?" Cynthia said. "And what exactly does that have to do with you having a baby?"
"What do you think?" Elizabeth said. "I want to know...if maybe...he wouldn't be a fit father."
Cynthia sighed. "What do you want to know? About him? You're already married to him, you must-"
"Did he hit you?" Elizabeth interrupted.

Cynthia sighed. "No." she said. There was a pause. "Why? Does he...hit you?"
"No." Elizabeth said.

"Well, good." said Cynthia.

"Did he...cheat on you?" Elizabeth asked, clutching the receiver to her ear.

"No." said Cynthia. "But there came a time...I wished that he was."
"Because you were cheating on him." Elizabeth supplied.

"No...before that." Cynthia said. "Again, let's take time out from these questions. How long have you been married to Stefan?"
"Three years." Elizabeth said.

"Uh huh. And...how did you meet him?"

"He and my dad are law partners." Elizabeth said flatly. "I met him through my father."
"Okay." said Cynthia. "And how do you like being married to him? Is it a joy?"
"It is." said Elizabeth. "Why did you do it, Cynthia?"
"You a lawyer?" Cynthia asked, sounding amused.

"No. I'm a baker."

"Right." Cynthia said. "A lawyer would probably have more sense than to call me up, and start badgering me about my history with some guy."

"Let's start over." Elizabeth said.

"Let's."

"You were engaged to Stefan."
"Established. Yes."
"And you knew his friend. John."
"Right."

"And you two were...screwing...the whole time, behind his back."
"Not the whole time, no." Cynthia said.

"But you were, in fact...having sex." said Elizabeth. "With him. With John."
"Yes, we were...having an affair, I guess you'd call it, okay?" said Cynthia.

"Why?" said Elizabeth. "What would make you want to...throw Stefan away, for this guy John? Stefan is a great guy. Unless he was a completely different person than he was with you, back then, than he is with me now. So why?"
"Okay." Cynthia said. "First of all..I was attracted to John. He was a good-looking guy. He's an asshole, but he's a good-looking guy."

"Better-looking than Stefan?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "But...that brings me to the second thing. Which is...I could not stand Stefan."
Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"For a great many reasons. But...mostly because...well, he isn't normal." said Cynthia. "And I wanted...a way out. So I started seeing John."
"Why didnt you just...leave him, then?" said Elizabeth. "Tell him you met someone else. Why carry on behind his back like that?"
Cynthia was silent for moment. "Why didn't I just come out with it? Well, let's see. Because...I was afraid to tell him, for one thing."

"Why?"
"Because I was afraid." Cynthia said.

"Of him?"
"Yes." said Cynthia. "I was afraid...that he might be dangerous."
"Physically?"
"Not physically." Cynthia said, but then paused. "Well, scratch that. Yes, physically. At least, I wasn't sure."
"But you said he didnt hit you, right?" Elizabeth said.

"No." Cynthia said. "But that isn't the point. I didn't know what he might be capable of, if I left him."
"Why? Any more than anybody else?"
"Well..." Cynthia said. She sighed. "I don't want to..."
"Tell me." Elizabeth said. "I want to know. I want to know everything."

"Okay." Cynthia said. "Well. There's not an awful lot to tell, except...he's...an excruciating individual. He's an asshole, too. But in a different way, than John."
"So you didn't like him." Elizabeth said. "Stefan."
"That's putting it mildly." Cynthia said. "It got to where...I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. I would literally start feeling depressed when he would come home from work."
"Why?" Elizabeth asked incredulously. "What about him made you dislike him so?"
"Well.." Cynthia said. "I don't know. Stefan is...incapable of...communicating. Like others do."
"How do you mean?" Elizabeth said.

"He doesn't...pick up on social cues. There's a certain...rhythm that people have, when they're dealing with one another. I say something, there's...a certain response, that it's customary for the other person to give, from the context of what I said, or the tone of my voice. But he didn't have the ability to pick up on it."
"You mean tact." Elizabeth said questioningly.

"Not just." Cynthia said. "That too, of course. But also...generally not knowing or...having this..unwillingness to participate in the rhythms of human interaction. I'll give you an example. He quotes something he read in some book somewhere, and it resonates with me. And I'll say as much, that I liked the quote. And he'll say 'I'm just quoting.' You see?"
She did. She looked at her lap, regretful comprehension showing on her face. "Yeah."
"Well, I know that he was quoting. But that wasn't the point, was it?" said Cynthia. "The point is, that I liked the quote. I don't care if he didn't think the quote was so great. I was trying to give him a compliment, you know? A normal person would have picked up on that."

An all-too-familiar understanding of Cynthia's statement was beginning to creep in, but Elizabeth wasn't about to let her know that. "That's a reason to cheat on him?"
"And John would." Cynthia added. "John would know. What to say, when someone gives him a compliment, or shares an anecdote."

"And that's why you wanted him?" Elizabeth said incredulously. "That's what attracted you to him?"
"Well, no, not just that, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "Of course not. But it's a big thing. And after two years of living with Stefan...well. Let me tell you. It was like coming home after a long journey. With a complete maniac driving the car."
"John was a liar." Elizabeth said. "That's what Stefan always says."
"Oh, he does, does he?" Cynthia chuckled to herself. "Well. He's right. John's a liar. But what is he?"
"A good man? A good lover? A caring person? A-"
"Crazy." Cynthia said. "Actually, crazy's not the word. You see, in Stefan's twisted viewpoint, anyone is a liar, if they pick up on social cues. If they have the ability to communicate with one another. We're all speaking a language, that he just has no clue how to speak."

"He's shy." Elizabeth said. "Debillitatingly so, in some ways."
"Yeah, yeah, debillitating's the word, all right. And he's socially awkward." Cynthia said. "But it's more than that, Elizabeth."
"How is it more than that, Cynthia?" said Elizabeth.

"He's not crazy, he's...I think he's schizoid." said Cynthia. "I didn't know that term then. But I came across it, in a magazine, a few years ago, and good lord. It just conjured up...flashbacks, of...of that...flat affect, and that-"
"Wait a minute." Elizabeth said angrily. "He is not schizophrenic, Cynthia. That I know."

"Not schizophrenic. Schizoid." Cynthia said. "Schizoid has nothing whatsoever to do with schizophrenic, Elizabeth. It means not being able, or wanting to associate with others. It means not sensing others feelings. It means not showing any emotion, or being able to. It means not picking up on social cues. Not being in touch with others."

"Okay." Elizabeth said, after a moments thought. "I think you're wrong, but-

"I think I'm right."
"I think you're wrong," Elizabeth continued. "But you're saying that you think that he has a disability."
"A personality disorder." Cynthia said. "Yes."

"And this means that he should just...be...I don't know. Shunned by all?"
"I didn't say that, did I?" Cynthia said. "Just by me."

"So you think he's got a disorder that makes him unable to pick up on social cues." said Elizabeth. "That makes it okay that you deceived him with John, then?"
"I don't know about 'okay'." Cynthia said. "But it certainly makes it understandable."

"Is that what you tell yourself?"
"Yeah, it is." said Cynthia. "Maybe you're angry at me for doing it, because it brought him to you. You sound angry. What do you care? Freed him up for you, didn't it?"
"I'm angry on his behalf, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Which apparently, isn't something you're capable of understanding."
"Oh, no points for guessing who put that idea in your head." Cynthia said. "I must be a complete sociopath, because I'm not like him, right?" She cleared her throat irritably. "I just don't get why you feel the need to call me up, and tell me what a bitch I am for hurting your precious Stefan. What makes you do this?"
"I'm bored." Elizabeth said. "And curious. About why you could hurt a guy like Stefan. Why you rejected him."

"Because that man scared the fuck out of me." Cynthia said. "If you want to know the truth." She made a noise of revulsion. "That flat, emotionless way he has of talking. Humorless. Those creepy, dead eyes."

"Hey!" Elizabeth said angrily.

"That smile that doesn't meet his eyes." Cynthia said, sounding almost faraway, conjuring up her alleged unpleasant recollections. "And worst of all, that humorless laugh. Like someone who doesn't even understand the concept of laughter. Who's just parroting laughter, really. When Stefan laughs, it's the most unnatural sound in the world."

"And I feel so cold." Elizabeth said, trying to make a sarcastic remark, but her voice sounded dazed to her own ears. "afterwards. So cold, I feel like I'll never be warm again." Elizabeth felt her eyes swim with tears, which blurred her view of their kitchen, where she was sitting.

"What?" Cynthia said.

"It's..." Elizabeth sniffed, unable to contain her sobs. "It's..."
"Hey, hey. Hey." Cynthia said. "Come on." There was a tense silence.

"I'm sorry, all right?" Cynthia said after a minute. "That's right, you're pregnant, aren't you?"
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "I am."
"Well." Cynthia said. "You're going through something. Some emotional crisis, I see. When I was pregnant, I was really angry all the time. I wanted to stab, or strangle something. But I got over it. And you will, too."

"You were pregnant?" Elizabeth said. She sniffled. "You have kids?"
"One. A daughter." Cynthia said.

"What's her name?"

Cynthia sighed. "Maya." she said.

"Is she...John's daughter?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "She is."
"Did you marry him?"

"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "Briefly."
"What happened?"

"He cheated on me, all the time. Go ahead, cheer." Cynthia said. "Because that's what he does. He is a real bastard. But he's also Maya's father. So I try not to say anything too bad about him when she's around."

"I'm not going to cheer." Elizabeth said. She swallowed. "Is he a good father?"
"Going to give me a free car, Oprah?" Cynthia said. "You seem to be asking a lot of personal questions."
"Sorry." Elizabeth said. "Didn't mean to pry."
"No, it's okay." Cynthia said amusedly. "Yes, he's a good father, and he and Maya are very close. But he's a shitty husband. Was. Mercifully, we're divorced."

"Do you ever feel pangs of guilt, that the baby you had with John was the one you would have had with Stefan?" Elizabeth said. "And Stefan tells me all the time, especially since I've been pregnant, that he's always felt an emptiness, inside, because he's missed out on being a father, all these years until he met me."
"So why the hell hasn't he been married for years?" Cynthia said. "No, I don't feel pangs of guilt. Please. Pangs of fear, at the thought of..." She trailed off. "Look." she said. "What I said about Stefan. I'm sorry...that it upset you. Okay?"
"Well, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Why did you even get involved with him in the first place, if you disliked him so much?"

"Because I didn't know what his personality was really like, until I started living with him." said Cynthia.

"What drew you to him?" Elizabeth said. "It must have been something."

"Well, he was good-looking. As I'm sure you know. Very good-looking." said Cynthia.

"Oh, yeah." said Elizabeth. "I know."

"And he had a big dick." Cynthia said.

Elizabeth sniffed. "Nice." she said. "Very poetic."

"What? It's descriptive." Cynthia said. "So there's your answer."

"There must be more to it than that." Elizabeth said.

"Not really."

"You thought he was good-looking?" Elizabeth said.

"I already said so." Cynthia said.

"Gold hair? Shiny?" Elizabeth said.

"Yep." Cynthia said.

"Blue eyes?"
"Yeah, he had 'em." Cynthia said. "But-"
"Throaty voice?" Elizabeth said. "That you have to strain sometimes to hear?"
"That would be the flat affect." Cynthia said. "Yes."

Elizabeth laughed. "Nonsense." she said. She lolled her tongue, thinking for a minute. "Blonde all over?"
"Spare me." Cynthia said.

"What?" Elizabeth said teasingly. "I thought you were descriptive, Cynthia."

"I regret being descriptive all of a sudden." Cynthia said. "But yeah. And he was, by the way...phenomenal in bed. But that can go only so far."

"There must have been something else." Elizabeth said. "Besides just him being good-looking, and good in bed. You must have been drawn to something about his personality."
"Well, if pressed, I guess I had to say, I thought he was...interesting. Intense." Cynthia said. "And he could be quite witty, at times...so there was that."

"He is witty." Elizabeth said. "Very sardonic. It's amazingly sexy. Like Bill Murray, but really hot."
"I guess." Cynthia said.

"I was just watching that movie, Groundhog Day, on TV awhile ago. Seen it?" Elizabeth said.

"I have. One of his best. Though I never cared for that Andie McDowell."

"Oh, I think she's good." Elizabeth said. "But anyway, that is one of Bill Murray's best roles. That, and Ghostbusters."

"Yeah, that's definitely the best one."
"Of course," Elizabeth said, apprehension about the intent of a person like Cynthia forming in her mind. "these days Stefan more closely resembles another character in Ghostbusters."
"Yeah?" Cynthia said with interest. "which one is that?"
"The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man." Elizabeth replied.

"Oh." Cynthia said. There was a brief silence. "You mean..."
"He's fat." said Elizabeth. "He's gotten fat now. Since I married him."

Cynthia cleared her throat, a noise which had a distinct sound of amusement to it. She sniffed. "Really."
"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "He's a bloated tub of lard in a suit. He loves his suits and his overcoats, though." She lolled her tongue. "They hold in that fat real nice."
"And yet," Cynthia said. "You got upset at me for my remark about his hollow laugh."
"That was different." Elizabeth said. "That was a judgment of his character. Mine is just a comment on his appearance."
"I see." said Cynthia. "Well. Anyway, now that you said that, I feel free to say, that I am more glad than ever, to be free of that creep. Good lord, was he creepy. And now he doesn't even have the looks to make up for it, is the way it sounds."
"Watch it." Elizabeth said.

"I won't." Cynthia said. "I mean, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, Elizabeth, but...I could not stand that man. Nobody could live with him, and stay sane."
"Maybe you just didn't have an aptitude for him, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Thank goodness." Cynthia said. "And another thing. It was nerve-wracking. I mean, maybe it would have been tolerable around someone who wasn't a schizoid asshole like himself, but I had to spend every second worrying about the meals I'd make, that he might keel over and die, if I accidentally put a nut in a dish I made. Life was one continual parade of fear."
"Hmm." Elizabeth said. "You have to give up your perfume, too?"
"Damn straight, I did." Cynthia said. "I wasn't allowed to wear perfume, he'd raise hell if I ever put on a few sprays."

"I had an entire perfume collection I had to throw out when I married him." Elizabeth said. "Including my favorite, Je Reviens. Which they don't even make anymore."

"He's controlling." Cynthia said.

"He's allergic." Elizabeth replied.

"To people, too." Cynthia said. "He never would like it when I would have friends over to visit, or go out with. Not even female ones. Of course, he didn't mind John so much, but..."
Elizabeth laughed incredulously. "Well." she said.

"Oh, don't start." Cynthia said. "I'm a cheating whore, blah blah blah. I get it, okay?"
"Stefan is an extremely isolated person." Elizabeth said. "But Cynthia..."
"Yeah?"
"I would destroy every bottle of perfume in the world, that ever existed, in all streams of time..just to hear him call me 'Lizzie' even once." Elizabeth said.

"Good to know." Cynthia said. "Is that why you called? Just to tell me that?"
"No." Elizabeth said. "Well, sort of."
"Well, you know what I think?" Cynthia said.

"No. And don't care."
"I think," Cynthia said. "that you have some idea that what I said is true. About the schizoid thing. You have some thought in your mind, that Stefan isn't entirely normal, and it's giving you pause about having kids with him. Now maybe that's not the right way to look at things, after all, as noted, John's a son of a bitch, but he's a good father, and I don't regret that he's partially responsible for raising my daughter. But you have some idea, that there are things about Stefan that...scare you. Maybe not that he'll physically hurt anyone, but...well. And so you called me. Hoping I could shed some light on his behavior."
"No." Elizabeth said, a lump rising in her throat. "No, you're wrong. I love Stefan, I could never...think that about him. I just...I wanted..to know things. To make sure..."
"Because he disturbs you." Cynthia said. "Admit it. It doesn't mean that you don't love him."

"No." said Elizabeth. "Not true. Stefan is a kind man, who treats me like I was...water. In a vast desert. Of...of loneliness, and isolation, and despair, and...and night terrors...he ever have those around you?"

"No." Cynthia said. "I've heard of them. Isn't that like sleepwalking."
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "He started having them, when we were first married, a few times. It was terrible. One time, he was trying to open the window, and we were on the third floor apartment, and I had to wrestle with him, and he didn't even know who I was. That time he hit me. Accidentally. He flung his arm out, and...it connected with my face, and I barely noticed, I was so terrified, but...then I had this mark on my face, and..." She sniffled, trying to contain her sobs, but she wasn't succeeding.

"Oh, no." Cynthia said under her breath, but she had a sympathetic note in her voice. "Do you...have anyone you can talk to, about these things, Elizabeth?"

"I don't know." Elizabeth said.

"You don't, do you?" said Cynthia. "Or else you wouldn't be telling me, a complete stranger, these things." She cleared her throat.

"It's my fault." said Elizabeth. "That I don't have more friends."
"It's not your fault." Cynthia said. "It's his."
"I'm a loner, too, you know." Elizabeth said. "I always have been."
"Uh huh. Well." said Cynthia. "Glad to know he's gotten even crazier, since I knew him. But Elizabeth..." She sighed. "Don't let him try to control you. That's what he does. Now, maybe he doesn't mean to, but he'll try to tell you everything to do if you let him. He'll try to isolate you in his world, and call you a liar, if you want to be normal."
"I love Stefan, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "I'm only scared for him. That our kids will grow up, not realizing that their father is a kind, wonderful man, because he can be a little abrasive, and he doesn't know how to express himself sometimes."

"That's a worry to have." Cynthia said. She sighed. "He thinks he's the only one in the world. I once was crying about something my mother, she's a real horror story, did, and he hugged me, but then said, 'I hugged you so that I would feel better.' About some crap that was going on at the firm he was working at then. Can you imagine?"
"Well, he was just being honest." Elizabeth said. "Most people wouldn't."
"Please." Cynthia said scornfully. "And that's not even the point. That he was selfish enough to not care about my problems. The point is that he did not need to share that with me. I could have gone my whole life, never knowing that he was only hugging me so that he would feel better about his own social ineptitude, that was keeping him from being a more successful lawyer. But he just had to share that, and a million other little unpleasantries, with me. And if I asked him why he had to say all these things, couldn't he just keep them to himself, then he'd say that was the attitude of a...well, I'm sure you can guess."
"Liar." Elizabeth answered thoughtfully. "Yes. Well." She sighed. "I know what you mean."
"I bet you do." Cynthia said.

"All too well." Elizabeth said quietly. "But Cynthia...it doesn't change anything."

"No?" Cynthia said. "Well. I guess I don't expect it to, but...well. I feel bad for you. I mean that. Being married to him."
"Comforting." Elizabeth said. "But I don't feel about Stefan the way you do, Cynthia. And I never did. I like his personality. I feel comfortable around him. Even when he's saying and doing the things you're talking about."

"Are you all alone right now?" Cynthia said. "No other kids, right? Nobody else lives with you?"
"Yeah." said Elizabeth.

"And you're alone a lot." Cynthia said. "Aren't you?"
"Not when Stefan's here." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, yeah. Not when Stefan's there, but...any kind of associates? Any at all?"
"We see my father a lot of the time."
"You talk to him about this stuff, ever? Your dad?"

"Sometimes, but...he sees Stefan every day, at work." Elizabeth said, consideringly. "And they have a good relationship, they did even before we got together. Stefan likes to have a good relationship with the people at his practice. He talks with them about their problems, and likes them to feel like they can confide in him. You're wrong about him, Cynthia. He doesn't think that he's the only one in the world."

"That doesn't mean that he doesn't have those tendencies." said Cynthia. "I didn't say he was a complete heartless bastard. But he has those schizoid characteristics. As I'm sure you know."

"Well." Elizabeth said. "I don't happen to agree that he has anything wrong with him, but-"
"Of course he has something wrong with him." Cynthia said. She sighed. "Are you scared a lot? Not of him...just...in general."

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Mostly, I sit around, worrying. About the baby, about Stefan, about a million things that could go wrong."

"Crying a lot?"

"Almost every day." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah." Cynthia said. "I know...sometimes you can feel like doing nothing but cry."

"And what does Stefan do? When you cry?"
"He's...really sweet to me." Elizabeth said. "He tells me everything is going to be okay, hugs me. He worries when I cry."
"Because he wants you to shut the hell up." Cynthia said.

"No." said Elizabeth. "You're wrong, Cynthia."
"Am I?"
"Though he does sometimes tell me that I should be crying because of war in Iraq, and poverty, and misery, and suffering, and death, not because of nothing in particular."
"Ah." Cynthia said. "You see?"
"Well, he cares." Elizabeth said. "And obesity. He told me I should be crying because of that. I was. It was going on right in front of me."

Cynthia snorted. "Schizoid, lecturing, and fat. Glad I'm not in your shoes."

"Glad I'm not in yours." Elizabeth said. "Without him."
"That's just terrific, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. She sighed. "But again, I worry about anyone's sanity who's married to Stefan. I don't know if you can handle him."
"Of course I can." said Elizabeth.

"Look, Maya's going to be home from school pretty soon, and I've got stuff I've got to do, but..." She trailed off. "Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow. You can tell me about...the stuff that's going on. With Stefan, and...the pregnancy."

Elizabeth considered. "I'd like that." she said after a moment.

"So." Cynthia said, upon the next phone call. "What about you? Where are you from?"

"I'm from Chicago, but my parents are from Indiana." Elizabeth said. "They moved here when I was six."

"And your dad's a lawyer?" Cynthia said.

"Yes." Elizabeth said.

"What about your mother? What does she do?"
"She was...a waitress, actually." Elizabeth said. "She worked in a diner, which was near where my dad was going to college."

"His parents wanted him to marry someone else, I bet." Cynthia said. "Since he was a law student and everything."
"No, actually, they were working class types, but they were upset with him, because they were devout Catholics, and she was Jewish." Elizabeth said. "But she converted, and then they got along a little better, she and my grandparents."

"I hate Catholics." Cynthia said. "My mother's one."
"I'm Catholic." Elizabeth said pointedly.

"Well, there you go. See?" said Cynthia. "My dad, too. But my mother is, as you put it, a devout Catholic. Of the old school kind. Fire, brimstone, condemning of the heretics. You name it."
"What do your parents do?" Elizabeth asked.

"Oh, my mother stayed at home with the kids, and my dad is a magazine publisher."
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "Are they still together?"
"Unfortunately. I spent my whole childhood wishing she'd leave, and take my sister with her. Sweet little Ann."
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "What does she do? Ann?"

"Oh, she doesn't do anything now, just a stay at home mother, with her kids. She used to go to college out here, and that was how I came to be out here. We were roommates for awhile."
"Are you two close?"
"Oh, she has her moments." Cynthia said. "But we couldn't be more different. She's very goody-two shoes, Ann. Sweet and docile. And a devout Catholic, of course. Though nicer about it than our mother was."
"Was she abusive?" Elizabeth said.

"She could give a good slap on the face, when she wanted." said Cynthia. "But mostly she was abusive with her religion. Told me I was going to hell if I did any of the things I wanted to do. Like smoke. I'm lighting a cigarette right now, Mom. Lighting the fires of hell."

Elizabeth laughed. "Like Carrie's mom?" she said with interest.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "Quite a bit like."
"Stephen King is my favorite writer." Elizabeth said. "I've been reading him since I was ten years old, and I know all his books, practically forwards and backwards. Do you like Stephen King?"
"I do like Stephen King." Cynthia said. "Actually, you might say he was my favorite writer, as well."

"He's great, isn't he?" Elizabeth paused. "Stefan is not as fond. In fact, my love for Uncle Stevie is a frequent target practice for his rapier wit."
"Didn't know he had one." Cynthia replied.

"Oh, yes, he does, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "And you did, too. You just won't admit it."
"Whatever you say." Cynthia replied. "My mother wouldn't allow me to read Stephen King. Said he was anti-religious, anti-God. All that stuff."

"He's against organized religion, like Catholicism, for sure." Elizabeth replied. "But he's not anti-God. The Stand is all about the plan of God, and following God's will."

"Yeah. I guess." said Cynthia.

"That's my favorite of his." Elizabeth said. "The Stand, of course. Yourself?"
"Yeah, that one's pretty good. If I had to pick, I'd say it was his best." Cynthia said.

"I always cry, whenever I get to the end of it." said Elizabeth. "Because I hate to leave the characters' world."
"I don't usually find that happening to me." Cynthia said. "Crying while reading. This occurs when you're not pregnant?"

"Sure it does." Elizabeth said. "What of it?"
"Maybe you're crying because you have to be around Stefan." Cynthia said. "Think that could be?"

"Only because I adore him so much, it brings me to tears, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied airily. She bit her lip. "That was a quote from The Stand, that thing I was saying to you yesterday. About being so cold, that I felt like I would never be warm again. It was how Randall Flagg was described, in the book."

"Really." Cynthia said. "Huh."
"It said in the book, that when Randall Flagg would make love to a woman, they would be so cold, that they would feel as though they would never be warm again afterwards." Elizabeth informed her.

"Stop, stop." Cynthia said. "You just want to talk about 'afterwards' don't you?"
Elizabeth bit her lip. "Why?"she said. "Are you saying that's how I feel, after Stefan makes love to me?"
"I wouldn't have any idea how you feel."Cynthia said dryly. "But now that you mention it, that was how I felt, afterwards. Very apt, actually."
"Oh, no, it wasn't." Elizabeth said. "You told me yesterday, that he was phenomenal in bed. That was the word you used. Phenomenal."
"Well, it was how I felt after having a conversation with him." Cynthia retorted.

"That's stupid." said Elizabeth.

"Actually, I just felt angry." Cynthia said. "Furious. So filled with rage at his inability to communicate properly, that I felt like I might never be calm again."

Elizabeth sighed, again not wanting Cynthia to know that she related to this. "Well, Cynthia, when I think of Stefan's sexual prowess, I'm reminded of another quote from Stephen King." she said. "This one from Home Delivery. That's a short story of his. 'Sometimes, the loving was so good, that she felt weak in the knees, during the day. Thinking about it.'."

"I swear to you, I am going to hang up this phone if you say anything like that again." Cynthia said, making a noise of extreme distaste.

"Sorry." Elizabeth said, but there was laughter in her voice.

"Yeah, right." Cynthia said. "I think you're twisted."

"I am." Elizabeth said. "What about it?"

"Well, be twisted then, as long as it doesn't involve your sexual exploits with Stefan." said Cynthia.

"I want to know all his." Elizabeth informed her. "Who he was with, and what he did, what he would do, what he wouldn't do, even if asked, what-"
"Let's change the subject." Cynthia said quickly. "This...your first marriage?"

"Yes." Elizabeth replied. She paused, considering. "Are you married? You said you and John were divorced."

"No, I'm not married." Cynthia said.

"Boyfriend?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "I've got someone I'm seeing. He's pretty great. Very...real, and down to earth. Very working class New York."
"Yeah?" Elizabeth said. "What is he, a construction worker, or something?"
"Lawyer." Cynthia said.

"No joke." Elizabeth said.

"Yep."

"Guess you just can't resist them, can you?" Elizabeth said.

"As long as it isn't that particular lawyer." said Cynthia.

"Does your daughter like him?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, she's okay with him." said Cynthia. "He's very charming with everyone, in his own way. Her stepfather was like that, too. She liked him a lot, he was a good male influence in her life, but..." She trailed off.

"You mean...there was another marriage?" Elizabeth said. "Besides John?"

"Yes, there was another guy I was married to." Cynthia said. "Why? You don't approve, Miss Catholic?"
"No, I just..." Elizabeth bit her lip. "What happened to him?"

"Nothing happened to him, he just..." Cynthia sighed. "He had an eye for the ladies, too. But at least he was more honest about it than John was."

"So he cheated on you?" Elizabeth said. "This...other guy?"

"Yeah, I knew that he couldn't stay faithful, so I told him that it wouldn't be a deal-breaker." said Cynthia. "But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I can't be married to someone, and have him sleeping with other women, on the side."

"So you had an open marriage?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sort of. Yeah." Cynthia said. "Boy, would that piss Mom off, wouldn't it?"
"Aren't you a little too old to be thinking about ways to piss your mom off?" Elizabeth asked.

"Watch it." Cynthia responded. "Aren't you a little too old to be crying over Frannie, and Stu, and Tom and Nick?"

"You're never too old to cry when Nick Andros dies, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Or when Tom Cullen sees him as a vision, after Stu gets sick."

"I beg to differ." Cynthia said.

"But I'd cold cock any bitch that looked at Stefan, in a heartbeat." Elizabeth said. "I could never have an open marriage."
"Well, don't be thinking of me." Cynthia said. "Looking at Stefan was something I'd hoped to never to again, if I can help it."

"That's because there's something wrong with you." Elizabeth retorted.

"Something wrong with you." Cynthia retorted. "But most of all, there's something wrong, very much so, with him."
"But you didn't love him." Elizabeth stated.

"You can't love him." said Cynthia.

"I can." said Elizabeth. "You didn't try, Cynthia. You didn't want to try."
"After awhile, no, I didn't." said Cynthia.

"What about John? Did you love him?"
"I liked John." Cynthia said. "And the sex was great. But, as mentioned, he's a semi-sociopath, and a liar, and it didn't take him long to leave me for some blond skank half his age."
"How long were you two married?"

"Two years." Cynthia said.

"What about the other guy? What was his name?" Elizabeth asked.

"Eliot."
"Eliot. Did you love him?"

"Again, I feel like we're on Oprah. Yes. I loved Eliot. He was one of the best guys I've been in a serious relationship with."
"But he couldn't keep it in his pants." Elizabeth said.

"No, he couldn't." Cynthia agreed. There was a silence. "What about you? Any other guys before Stefan?"

"Just one. Toby." Elizabeth said.

"Only one?" Cynthia said.

"Pretty much." Elizabeth said. "Yeah, yeah. I guess so. Just Toby."
"Is that because of the Catholic thing, or..."

"No, no. Not really." Elizabeth said, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I just...had strong feelings for Toby. At one time. And I didn't want anyone...else I guess."

"How long were you together?" Cynthia asked.

"About three years." said Elizabeth.

"What did he do? Toby?" said Cynthia. "For a living?"
"He used to own this bakery that I worked at." Elizabeth said. "And he writes. He's really into Stephen King, too. That's how we met, actually. In junior high, in this after-school Stephen King discussion group."

"Wow." Cynthia said. "So your love of Stephen King got you together with this guy?"

"Seems so. Yeah." Elizabeth replied.

"Interesting." said Cynthia. There was a moment's silence. "But you said you were together for three years. Are you trying to tell me that your only other relationship was with a guy in junior high school?"
"No, but what if it was?" Elizabeth retorted angrily. "But no. We didn't get together until college."

"Not until college?" Cynthia said. "So...where were other love interests? You must have had at least one, right."

Elizabeth sighed. "No." she said. "Okay? I was...I had allowed myself to get...too involved, with my feelings for Toby."

"So...you didn't date anybody else?" said Cynthia. "Between college and junior high?"

"No." Elizabeth said.

"What about...after college? After you broke up?"

"No, I..." she trailed off. "I waited for him, okay? For a long time. Because I thought we were going to get back together. Okay?"
"You don't have to sound so embarrassed about it." Cynthia said. "No one's judging you."

"Why, do you think someone might have been?" asked Elizabeth.

"Probably, if we're talking about anyone you're married to." said Cynthia.

"He loves me. It makes him angry, the idea of some creep treating me like dirt." said Elizabeth. "Which Toby did. He couldn't keep it in his pants, either. But he acted so apologetic about it. Saying he didn't want me to be unhappy because of anyone, not even him. Then he acts like I'm obsessed with him, and he's all gung-ho to push me on Stefan. But then it turns out, I really liked Stefan. So he tried to break us up."

"Sounds like an asshole, all right."

"But you know what I did, Cynthia?" Elizabeth said. "I listened to Toby. I have this fear, that people think I'm...not all there. And, as you pointed out to me, Stefan's..."
"Not all there." Cynthia said.

"Right." said Elizabeth. "Sort of. He kept telling me, I shouldn't stay together with Stefan, and all the reasons why. And there was this friend of our's, Toby's and mine, who was getting married. And I was invited to her wedding, and of course, everybody, all our friends from college, knew about Toby, and my thing with him. And how he treated me. People think I'm weird."
"Shock of all shocks." said Cynthia, but her tone was not altogether a mean one.

"And," Elizabeth continued. "crazy. Some people think I am, of that group. And they all expected me to be with...a respectable lawyer. But..I knew the truth, that...I would be going with that shy, awkward, stiff...odd man you deride so much. And I was embarrassed. So I went alone."

"Probably the best decision of your life." Cynthia said.

"And of course, Stefan found out about it." said Elizabeth. "And he was very hurt, I'd lied to him and told him I had some errand to run, or something. I found him sitting home, all alone, and the power had gone out. He'd been in the dark for hours. And I'd gone to the wedding alone, because I was embarrassed about his...quirks, among other things."

"Well, of course Stefan found out about it." Cynthia said. "He is a very nosy, inquisitive sort of person. You should be grateful he didn't tail you, and wait outside the church with binoculars."

"Yeah." Elizabeth said quietly. "I know. I should."
"You agree with me, then?" Cynthia said. "He is a pain to deal with."
"I don't care, Cynthia."
"And you were...embarrassed. By his...schizoid-ness. Afraid of how he was going to deal with the people at the wedding. That he would...say something off. And then there'd be an awkward silence, and then...general torture, for everyone around."
"Torture for him, too you know, Cynthia." Elizabeth said quickly. "It's very hard for him to socialize, sometimes."

"Yeah, well." Cynthia muttered. "You have Internet?"
"Yes."

"Look up 'schizoid personality disorder', why don't you? See if it doesn't sound like he has a whole lot of symptoms of it."

"All right, Cynthia." Elizabeth agreed. "If you insist."

"I swear, the only emotion I ever saw that man display was rage." said Cynthia. "And even then, it was a kind of muted rage. But it was rage."

"That simply isn't true." Elizabeth said staunchly. "Stefan is a sweet man. It just takes a sweet woman in order to bring it out in him."

"Well, that's swell." said Cynthia. "Would that be the same woman who called him 'The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man' on the phone yesterday? Sweet, you're not."

"Mr. Stay Puft was sweet, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied. "The real shill. That was just something that took the form of the Stay Puft Man."

"Yeah, well." said Cynthia. "Watch out, I think Stefan might be capable of the rage of the evil Stay Puft Man. As I recall it, after Stefan found out that John and I had been..seeing each other, he sent back a pile of my stuff in a moving van. And some of it was broken. A pair of sunglasses, a ceramic cat, and worst of all, sculptures that I greatly valued. My own sculptures. Deliberately broken, not just in the moving van. Methodically broken, by the look of them."

"He can be extremely spiteful. And he breaks things." Elizabeth said, irritably, though there was a semi-fond note in his voice. "I know this."

"Yeah?" Cynthia said. "What did he break of yours?"

"Well," Elizabeth said. "One time, I bought this DVD of that movie, Red Eye, on sale. Remember that movie?"
"I do." Cynthia said.

"And there's this actor in it, his name is Cillian Murphy."
"From 28 Days Later, right?" Cynthia said.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "And I said that Stefan looked like him."
"And that made him angry?"

"No." Elizabeth said. "But...I might have also implied...said..."
"Said what?"
"That...Stefan...may not be as...svelte as Cillian Murphy. At this...present juncture."

"I see." Cynthia said. "And that made him mad, of course."
"So because I said that this actor was thinner than Stefan-"
"And younger."
"That too. Because I said that Stefan maybe doesn't look quite as good as Cillian Murphy anymore...well, we had this huge fight, and...and then Stefan broke the DVD." Elizabeth said, a sheepish note in her voice, biting her lip. "Methodically, as you said. Slowly. With much...diligent deliberation."

"Uh huh."

"And carved the...carved the words 'Fuck You'..." Elizabeth said, her words breaking apart with laughter. "...into the disc."

"Isn't that sweet?"
"And tore up the liner. And sprinkled it like confetti." Elizabeth said. "Sometimes, I'll still find pieces of it, in various places around the living room."

"Well." Cynthia said. "I wouldn't watch Ghostbusters with him, then. Doubtful you'd be able to control your mouth, at the...villain of the movie." She cleared her throat. "Why did you say that, anyway?"
"I don't know." Elizabeth said. "It just...slipped out, before I could do anything about it."

"Well, you had it coming, you know." Cynthia said. "You're a vicious bitch."

"Beg pardon?" Elizabeth said.

"You are." Cynthia said. "You've reached levels of bitchery that I wouldn't have even dreamed of. And I can be a bitch myself, but you, with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man thing, and comparing your husband's looks unfavorably to some actor who's in his thirties, at most-"
"So now you're on his side?"

"Of course not." Cynthia said. "I admire you. When your husband is Stefan, it becomes completely understandable why you'd compare him unfavorably to a much younger man. I bet he was sitting there...needling you, and in that flat, emotionless voice, calling you a liar. Prattling against Bush...the first one, when he was with me. Being suckered into some black hole of an argument, and-"
"All right, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Most of all, you're a bitch for saying that guy in Red Eye looks like Stefan." Cynthia said. "I thought he was kind of sexy. You ruined the movie for me."

"Sorry to ruin it." Elizabeth said. "He does look like him. If Stefan weren't fat, of course."

"Well, of course." Cynthia said. She cleared her throat. "Have you been okay, with the...hormone issues?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm doing much better."
"You're not having suicidal thoughts, or anything?" Cynthia said. "Are you?"
"No." Elizabeth said quietly.

"Homicidal?"

"No." Elizabeth said.

"Just checking." Cynthia said.

"Yourself?" Elizabeth said. "Have you had any?"
"Well, you did bring up Stefan." said Cynthia.

"Maybe you're in love with him." Elizabeth said, in a mock accusatory tone. "That's why you're so angry."
"Well, of course. Everyone on the planet wants Stefan." Cynthia said. "You know that."
"They really do." Elizabeth said. "Men, women, animals...the entire Lollipop Guild. He told me he dated a dwarf once, you know."
"Was it Happy, or Dopey?"

"Bethany." Elizabeth said. "That was her name. She was a lawyer."
"Was this after me?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said.

"What happened with her?"
"Oh, he broke up with her because she asked him to go temple with her."
"He's got something against Jewish people?"

"Of course not."
"Worship services?"
"No." Elizabeth said. "He...didn't like the idea of...gathering with people, like church or temple. It freaked him out. And her faith was a big part of her life. So she was out."

"Another episode in 'Tales of Reclusiveness and Abnormality'." said Cynthia.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "So the lawyer dwarf was out. But he said he had a special fondness for her. Felt really sad, when he realized their lifestyles were incompatible."
"I bet." Cynthia said.

"I bet she had a special fondness for him, as well, though." said Elizabeth. "Because he's grumpy and sneezy."

"I bet she did." said Cynthia.

"But also bashful." Elizabeth added.

"Schizoid." Cynthia said. "Abnormal."
"Call it what you will." Elizabeth said.

"I'd watch out for that tape-destroying maniac if I were you, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "He could be a ride you won't survive."

"Especially if he gets on top." Elizabeth said. "There's only so much weight a girl can take."

"Oh oh. You...are..a venomous...whore." Cynthia said, after a moment's silence. She laughed. "Especially for making me picture that. I was not talking about that kind of a ride, Elizabeth."

"I know." Elizabeth said.

"Sicko." Cynthia said.

"Just a little joke." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "Well. This was fun."
"It was." Cynthia said. "We must do this again, sometime."
"Want to see a picture of how fat Stefan is?" Elizabeth said.

"My lifelong dream." said Cynthia.

"Want to meet sometime?"
"I don't know." said Cynthia. "What would Stefan say about you talking to his ex-girlfriend?"

"I don't even want to know." Elizabeth replied. "I just won't tell him, for now."
"Or ever." said Cynthia. "The last thing I want to see is him."
"Okay." said Elizabeth.

"You take care now, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "Look up that schizoid thing, when you have a chance, okay?"
"I will." Elizabeth said. "I'll give it my full attention."
"Don't let Stefan rule your entire life, like I'm sure he wants to. Okay?"
"Don't worry, I don't." Elizabeth replied.

"And hide away any valuables you have." Cynthia said. "Should he go on a rampage and destroy them."
"I'll be sure to." Elizabeth said.

There was a moment's silence. "How does it feel," Cynthia asked after a moment. "Having a whacko husband?"

Elizabeth gazed at the door, where Stefan would no doubt be stepping through in a few hours. "It feels wonderful." she said.

Elizabeth had felt an itching kind of nervousness around Stefan, since her conversations with Cynthia. She could only picture that he'd be angry, stupefied at her desire to talk with her, and he'd also be hurt, she knew, at the thought of her going behind his back, and talking with someone who in his purview, was against him.

Of course, Elizabeth agreed, that Cynthia had done him great wrong, and she certainly was none too fond of him, but, as Elizabeth saw it, she did not mean him any significant harm, as the wrongdoing had taken place a good many years ago, and the last thing Cynthia wanted to do was even speak with him, let alone plot ways to hurt him. At least, that was what she thought, though she by no means trusted Cynthia.

But talking to Cynthia, especially about things having to do with Stefan, gave Elizabeth a feeling of excitement, danger. The idea of talking with someone from Stefan's distant past. And Elizabeth, in spite of herself, liked Cynthia. Talking to her, about anything, even though it appeared Cynthia's least favorite person in the world happened to be Elizabeth's favorite person in the world, had made Elizabeth feel better about things.

Of course, Stefan would definitely not feel the same way. But Elizabeth would think of that later.

What Cynthia had said had disturbed her, about Stefan having schizoid tendencies. Once she had heard it, she could not get it out of her mind. She was ruminating on this, and other things, one afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table, when Stefan had come home for lunch.

"Lizzie, you haven't touched your soup." Stefan said.

"Hmmm?" Elizabeth said. "Oh, I'm not very hungry right now, Stefan."
"You're pregnant." Stefan said. "You have to eat."

"I'll eat later, Stefan."
"Have you eaten today?" said Stefan.

"No." said Elizabeth. "I'll eat later."
"Elizabeth, it might not be good for you to skip lunch." Stefan said.

"What are you, my mother?" Elizabeth asked irritably, shaking her head.

Stefan furrowed his brow at her, looking concerned. "Lizzie, are you anorexic?" he said. "You're not pro-anorexic, are you?"
Elizabeth began to laugh. "No. I'm...pro you being anorexic."

"Funny, Lizzie." Stefan said. "But not very. It's abusive."

"Well, I'm a bitch." Elizabeth said.

"No, you're not, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I might be." Elizabeth said.

"I thought you liked chubby men, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I do." Elizabeth replied.

"Well. Why would you be for my being anorexic, then?"

"It's a joke, Stefan." Elizabeth said.

"I know it's a joke." said Stefan. "But it's a joke that implies that you'd like me to lose weight."

"Well, for your health, and all." said Elizabeth.

"So if it were healthy, then that's what you'd prefer me to be?" Stefan said. "Overweight?"
"I want you to be whatever makes you happy, Stefan."Elizabeth replied.

"Well, it doesn't." Stefan said. "Make me happy."

"Well." Elizabeth said. "Why don't you eat less, and exercise, then?"
"I thought that you said that you became aroused by overweight men, Elizabeth." said Stefan.

"I do." said Elizabeth.

"Well, then." said Stefan. "Why do you appear not to care, if I'd lose weight?"
"Because...I want you to be confident." said Elizabeth. "And I'd want you no matter what. Of course." She was looking at him contemplatively, and was startled out of a momentary reverie, when she noticed Stefan staring at her right back.

"What's the matter with you?" Elizabeth said testily. "Why are you staring at me?"
"Are you slipping away from me, Lizzie?" Stefan said. He placed his hand on her arm, and squeezed softly, though the squeeze was definitely a proprietary one, which the mischievous arch of his brow informed her, in the unlikely event that she could not have discerned it already. She cleared her throat.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth said.

"I just feel...you might be thinking angry thoughts." Stefan said. "About me."

"Not really." said Elizabeth.

"I can sense it." Stefan said. "A grey wolf has the ability to sense such things, you know."

"Sure." Elizabeth scoffed. She looked at him, shaking her head. "Why must you take everything I say so literally?"
"I don't." said Stefan.

"I think you do." Elizabeth said.

"Nonsense, Lizzie." said Stefan. He looked at her. "Maybe you're feeling...unloved. Neglected. Is that it?"
"No, that's not it at-"

"Perhaps you just need someone to...clear your mind of these angry thoughts, you're having about me." He put his hand on her knee, and massaged it gently. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not having angry thoughts." Elizabeth said.

"I think you are, Lizzie." Stefan said. He locked eyes with her, extending his legs out towards hers, and encircled them with his own, sliding them down her calves. She rolled her eyes, and looked off in the other direction.

"Still pretending to be immune to your desires, I see." said Stefan. "Why don't you give it a rest?"

"Still playing cat-and-mouse games, I see." Elizabeth retorted. "Don't you have cheeseburgers you could be eating?"

"That kind of talk simply won't be tolerated, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"Don't be surprised if you see fliers, around town," Elizabeth said. "saying, 'Lost Cat: 'Mr. Grey'. Likes to toy with prey, but rarely kills it'."
"Especially cheeky, irritating rodents, right, Lizzie?"
" 'Yellow fur.'" Elizabeth continued. " 'Rusty mew. He is a plump cat, but we like him. Call Elizabeth, if found. Reward offered.'"

"Well, I'm glad 'we' like him, Elizabeth." Stefan replied. "Whoever 'we' might be."

"Of course 'we' like him." Elizabeth said. She put her hand on his, squeezing it.

"You did say you had a soft spot for...plump cats, after all." Stefan said.

"I adore plump cats." she said. "They don't get...petted as much as the...slimmer cats. I think you might need to be...petted now." She put her hand on his knee. "What do you think?"

"I do." Stefan replied. He ran his hand up and down her throat gently. "And Lizzie?"
"Mmm?"

"Best remember," he said, arching an eyebrow at her. "that there's never a time when I don't 'kill it'."

"Okay, Stefan." Elizabeth replied. "But nonetheless, you'll always be...kind of a lost cat."

"So." Cynthia said, on the phone the following week. "You were crazy enough to actually do it. Call those...two people he went to high school with?"

"Yep." Elizabeth replied.

"And what exactly...did they say?"
"Well, Blane, his friend from those days, who hasn't spoken to him for thirty years, had the most to offer." Elizabeth said. "He told me that Stefan was this spoiled, rich kid, who strong-armed him into doing 'bad' things he never would have done otherwise." She cleared her throat. "Did he tell you about that?"
"I guess." Cynthia said. "He told me he had a past, I guess. I don't know anything about any of those people, or him being anything other than a boring, robotic lawyer."

"I doubt he was ever boring." said Elizabeth.

"He was always so...sullen, and entitled." Cynthia said. "That I do know about him. A lot of schizoid males are, though. Did you read those articles I told you about, on the Internet?"
"I did." said Elizabeth. "Unfortunately, Stefan was checking my Internet history the other day, and...well, found links to the articles."

"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "And...? What did he say?"
"He said it was interesting." Elizabeth said.

"Does he know you think he shows signs of it?" Cynthia asked with interest.

"No." said Elizabeth. "He didn't."
"Schizoid people rarely recognize themselves." Cynthia said.

"Which is why I told him I think he has it." Elizabeth continued.

"Really." said Cynthia. "Huh. And what did he say?"
"That it was preposterous." Elizabeth said. "That he's perfectly healthy, and doesn't have any kind of mental disorder. That it was greatly insulting of me to even suggest it."

"And what do you think," Cynthia said. "after he said that?"
"That if he doesn't show signs of it, I don't know who does." Elizabeth replied.

"Uh huh. Now you're showing some sense." Cynthia replied. "But let's backtrack. I find it to be very distressing that the phrase 'Stefan was checking my browsing history.' was uttered with complete lack of irony. Is that an everyday occurrence?"
"Not every day, no." Elizabeth said. "Just when it occurs to him to do it."

"And you're completely okay with this?" said Cynthia. "He just invades your privacy, whenever he feels like it? A common practice with him, isn't it?"
"Well..." Elizabeth said. "I don't have any secrets from Stefan."

"Please." Cynthia said incredulously. "I can't believe anyone in this day and age would allow themselves to be so...lily livered."
"Hey, I am not lily-livered." Elizabeth said angrily. "It just so happens, that Stefan might be a little paranoid, because..." She trailed off, swallowing.

"Because of what?" Cynthia said. "Oh, go ahead and say it. Because of me, right?"
"No.."
"Well, you are not going to put this on me." said Cynthia. "I can't believe that you would be this naive, Elizabeth. He was like that long before he met me, and you know it."
"Well-"
"Grow the fuck up, would you?" Cynthia said. "The man is a psychopathic control freak."
"He is not psychopathic, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied. "He's just...that's just the way he is. He's shy, so he's a bit meddlesome and bossy as a way of compensating."

"Make excuses for him all you want, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "The man is scary."
"He's not scary to me." Elizabeth replied. "And he loves me. He cares about me. He doesn't really check my history to make sure I'm not cheating on him. He trusts me implicitly, as far as that goes. He just...?"
"Just what?" said Cynthia.

"He thinks I...get too...obsessed with things." Elizabeth replied. "He worries about me. He worries I'm going to get depressed, and maybe...he worries I might be suicidal, too."

"Were you?" Cynthia asked. "Suicidal?"
"No." Elizabeth said. "No, he was. In college. Maybe in high school, too. Maybe...even earlier than that, possibly."

"Oh."

"Didn't you know?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah." Cynthia said. "Yeah, he told me stuff like that. That he tried to kill himself."
"Did John?" Elizabeth asked quickly.

Cynthia cleared her throat. "Try to kill himself?" she said. "Is that what you mean?"
"Yeah." Elizabeth said.

"No." Cynthia said. "Not to my knowledge. John's a cockroach. He'll survive a nuclear blast, and still think he's the greatest thing the world has ever known. Suicidal is not a word that's in his vocabulary."

"Running about his little roach errands?" Elizabeth said caustically.

"Yeah." Cynthia cleared her throat again. There was a moment's silence.

"That was a big part of it." Elizabeth stated. "Wasn't it, Cynthia? That he tried to kill himself? You couldn't handle it, could-"
"Damn it. Are we back on this, Elizabeth." Cynthia sighed, aggravated. "And no. If he hadn't been exactly how I described him, exactly how you know him to be, no joke, then I would have not paid it any attention. I won't say it wasn't a contributing factor, though, given everything else."

"Well." said Elizabeth. "I guess you just didn't lov-"
"Hell, no, I didn't." Cynthia said. "But never mind that. Am I really hearing that Stefan 'checks my browsing history 'cuz he loves me.'?"

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "In his own way-"
"And he does it...because he thinks you're suicidal?" Cynthia said. "Even though you have no previous history of suicide attempts, or suicidal thoughts?"
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said.

"Well." Cynthia said tartly. "Isn't that just like a schizoid. Always thinking that everyone is exactly like them. Never having any kind of connection with any reality, or thought process other than their own."
"Cynthia-" Elizabeth sighed. "He means well."
"Doesn't he always." said Cynthia. "Especially according to him. Always telling me how well his intentions were. And how he knew so much better than I did."

"It's not just suicidal thoughts he's worried about, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Stefan worries...about me. He likes to know that I'm...okay. Not doing anything...weird, or crazy, or harmful to myself. He likes to feel a connection with me, to know what I'm doing. Just in case."

"In other words, he thinks that you can't think for yourself." Cynthia said. "Or that you're a raving lunatic, and he has to make sure you're not...crank calling the CIA, or something. Isn't that what you're saying?"
"He doesn't think I'm crazy, Cynthia." Elizabeth said, her voice level. "He just likes the...idea of watching over me. Stefan likes to watch over people, and use his skills as an...antagonizer, to help the little guy, if he can. And to be assured that I'm not doing anything he considers harmful. Like going to the...Fox News website. You know." Her words did sound a little silly, to her own ears, but nonetheless, she was not about to waver in her loyalty.

"So." said Cynthia. "In his eyes, you're little more than a child, who can't think for herself. You're young, aren't you?"

"Not that young. And what business-"
"If you weren't, you wouldn't say that." Cynthia interjected. "I knew it. Bastard went out and got himself a young wife. Well."

"Oh?" Elizabeth said. "That makes you angry, the idea of that? You're...jealous?"
Cynthia snorted loudly. "Yeah." she said. "Yeah, I wish I could be married to him right now, and have him checking my Internet history, every time I turn around. I don't even check Maya's history that often, if ever, and she's thirteen. Get real, Elizabeth."
"Maybe you don't want to be married to him." Elizabeth said. "Maybe you just want to have sex with him."

"With the blob you described him as having turned into?"

"I didn't say 'blob'." Elizabeth said, her voice small, due to guilt.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not a pretty sight, no matter the metaphor." Cynthia said. "But don't worry. Middle-aged lard-asses are not my thing. I'll leave them for you."
"Good." Elizabeth said.

"I just...feel irritated, that despite having a completely repugnant personality, and being well over forty, to boot," said Cynthia. "He still manages to attract much younger women. And probably thinks that's okay."
"Of course it's okay." Elizabeth said. "I'm no teenager. I was twenty-five when we met."

"So you're what? Twenty-eight, now?" Cynthia said.

"Something like that." Elizabeth replied. "Could be a much bigger age difference. Now couldn't there?"
"I guess." Cynthia said. "Not much of one."

"It's none of your business, who's what age, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Well. Never mind that, then." said Cynthia. "To recap. Stefan wants to make sure there's no margin of error that you're not...crazy as a bedbug, and going to...chatrooms about why it's cool to jump off a bridge. With no precedent for this having been set by you."
"I guess." Elizabeth said. She sniffed.

"And like he was your father." Cynthia continued. "And a rather overprotective father, the kind most children would probably be in therapy for years after being raised by."

"You know, you're really not helping." Elizabeth said, thinking of her impending delivery. "With my worries about the children."

"Well, gee." Cynthia said. "Do you see any red flags going up, as to issues you might have to work out with him about his parenting? I mean, if you can't even keep him from obsessively checking your browsing history..."

"Okay, Cynthia." said Elizabeth. "Okay. I get it."

"I sure hope so." Cynthia said. "And this has gone on since you were married, hasn't it? This checking up on you?"

"Yeah, okay?" Elizabeth said testily.

"And you're completely okay with this?" Cynthia said. "His opinion that you...need supervision?"

"Well...no, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "But I've come to accept it. That that's how he is. Because he is doing it, because he cares for me like no one has ever cared for me."

"I think, Elizabeth," Cynthia said. "that living with Stefan has driven you insane, if you really believe that."

"No, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "I've got to accept his flaws as a human being. Stefan has a good heart, and if a little patronizing and...supervising is what I've got to accept, then so be it. I love him, Cynthia."

Cynthia sighed. "What about your...actual parents?" Cynthia said. "You're saying that they didn't care for you? You were an unloved child?"
"They cared for me." Elizabeth replied. "Of course they did. But they were...always a little bit...wrapped up in their own lives. Even my dad, who I'm really close to, he...always had his own things, going on a lot of the time."
"And you say he's Stefan's partner?" Cynthia said.

"Yes."

"What would he say about this?" Cynthia said. "About the idea of his daughter being married to...someone who actually checks what sites she goes to on the Internet?"

"I think he'd know to stay the hell out of my marriage, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "But, to be honest with you, I don't think my dad would be the least bit surprised. He knows Stefan better than anyone else does, except for me. He's not...unaware of his quirks, to say the least."

"Well." Cynthia said. "Maybe you're right, and maybe I should stay the hell out of your marriage."
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth. "Indeed."
"But you sought me out," Cynthia said. "and you asked for my opinion."
"Actually, I didn't." Elizabeth interjected. "I asked you for information. About Stefan."

"You told me," Cynthia said. "that you're marooned in a situation which involves you being all alone, with the only outside associate besides Stefan being your father."
"I guess."
"And you're right." Cynthia said. "Obviously, in-laws should have no say in anyone's marriage. That's a certainty. But to make things even more hellish for you, it sounds like your father and Stefan have a dialogue. That in case you wanted to talk to your dad about anything, since they work together...well. Seems he's got every way imaginable to check up on you, doesn't it?"
"It's not like that, Cynthia." Elizabeth said quietly. "Not at all."

"What about...your mother?" Cynthia asked. "Is she...still living?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "They got divorced, when I was seventeen."

"Do you talk to her?" Cynthia asked.

"Stefan and I visit her sometimes." Elizabeth said. "We talk, but..."

"But...?
"I don't know." Elizabeth said.

"What?" Cynthia said.

"It's just...my mother's a little...well. Maybe...the type to let someone check her browsing history, herself." Elizabeth said. "If my dad had been so inclined. Which he isn't."

"I see." Cynthia said. "Not exactly a strong, independent woman, you mean."

"No." Elizabeth said. "Not. But I am."
"I don't know, Elizabeth."
"You don't know me, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Obviously. And when I say something like 'Stefan was checking my history last night.', well. Believe me, when I say, it is not said without irony. Quite the opposite, in fact. I know exactly how outrageous and demeaning it is for Stefan to knowingly and unashamedly check up on me like he's my daddy or something. You don't treat adults that way."

"No, you don't." Cynthia agreed.

"It's all a big joke, that you don't know me well enough, and are to blinded by bias against Stefan to get." said Elizabeth. "About how he's a complete...bossy, domineering lunatic, to the point where it just becomes laughably pathetic." Elizabeth swallowed.

"I'm not too sure, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "About your actual...awareness of that fact."
"But, at the same time." Elizabeth said. "Stefan would be...utterly crushed if he ever heard me say such a thing in all seriousness. I can only see the look on his face." Elizabeth began to feel her eyes well up.

"I'd be glad to see it, for one." Cynthia drawled.

Elizabeth sniffled. "Because he is," she said, her mind drawing upon an article she read on the disorder Cynthia kept mentioning so ardently. " 'exquisitely sensitive'. Granted, a good deal of his 'exquisite' sensitivity is on his own behalf, but-" Cynthia laughed shortly.

"But the point is," Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "a lot of it isn't. Stefan cares for me, and only wants to help me, whatever way he knows how. I don't think he's really had anyone to take care of, for most of his life. When he was growing up, he took care of his friend, Blane...in his own way. Didn't let anybody mess with him. Blane was kind of a wimp, to hear him tell it."
"Right. Well." Cynthia said. "So you're just going to indulge him in this little fantasy that he has to 'take care' of you?"
"It's not that simple." said Elizabeth. "Even though his attitude is absurd, and infuriating...I still can't help but be kind of...touched, at the sentiment behind it."

"Something is wrong with your mind, is all I can say." Cynthia said.

"Thanks a lot." Elizabeth said.

Cynthia sighed. "Look...I can tell...that you love Stefan." she said. "And I don't hold that against you. Well, not too much."
"I'm glad."
"And you're going to have kids with him." Cynthia said. "So..I guess...I understand where you're coming from. About wanting to stick it out."

"Oh, there's no question." said Elizabeth. "I'm very happy. I don't see it as something I have to 'stick out'."

"Oh, but you question it at times." Cynthia said. "Especially at those moments when he's checking up on you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"There's plenty I can do about it." Elizabeth retorted. "And I don't question my happiness here. But I do question him. All the time."
"Yeah, right."

"I do." Elizabeth said angrily. "And, well. If he wants to check my internet history, like a paranoid jackass, then let him. It's a small price to pay, so I just overlook it. I have no secrets from Stefan, anyway. We're open and honest with each other."

"Did you tell him you were talking to me, then?" Cynthia asked.

"No." said Elizabeth. She sniffed. "I didn't."
"Didn't think so." Cynthia said.

"But I feel guilty about it." Elizabeth added.

"Of course you do." said Cynthia.

"It's kind of fun, though." Elizabeth added. "Exciting. Having a secret life."

"Marry a control freak, and get back at him by having secret talks with his ex-girlfriend." Cynthia said. "The extent of excitement in your life."

"Something to do." Elizabeth replied.

"What about this other one you mentioned?" Cynthia said. "The girl who rejected him? What did she say when you called her?"

"Oh, not much." Elizabeth replied. "I think she's kind of an uppity bitch. She actually chided me, when I told her that Stefan's fat now."

"So you're saying it all around?" Cynthia said. "Putting the word out, as it were?"
"Yeah." Elizabeth said. "I said it to Blane, too."

"Nice. That'll make up for all those times he went through your things, checked your history. Probably checks the phone bill minutely, too. This is going to show up, you know. These calls."

"It could be my imagination," Elizabeth said uneasily. "But I think Blane might have taken that as indication that I was interested in him. Like I was unsatisfied or something."
"Oh, gee, I'm sure that that wasn't your imagination." said Cynthia. "What do you expect, when you say something demonstrating disloyalty, to a guy about another guy? That's the first thing they think of."

"I wasn't 'demonstrating disloyalty'." Elizabeth said, irritated.

"He thought you were." said Cynthia. "Why would you want to say that, anyway? I can sort of understand the twisted reasoning behind your saying it to me, and this other girl he knew, but Blane? Why did you say that to him?"

"Because the thought that he might find out excites me." said Elizabeth. "The danger of telling people he's fat, and him maybe finding out. It makes me feel...chased. Like I'm being chased."

"There's something wrong with your mind, as I was not unaware of." said Cynthia. "But now I really see it."

"You never had thoughts like that?" Elizabeth asked.

"No." Cynthia said. "Can't say I did."

"Well." said Elizabeth. "I guess you think I'm crazy."

"I already thought you were, if you can stand Stefan." Cynthia replied. "But hell, if you want to make fun of his being fat as an extracurricular activity, I'm only too happy to cheer it on, considering my experiences with him."

"Making fun of fat people. A lost art." Elizabeth said. "Stephen King certainly likes to, in all his books."

"I...guess so." Cynthia said with amusement. "You're a twisted bitch, aren't you?"
"Are you?" said Elizabeth with interest.

"I don't know." Cynthia said. "Possibly."

"Want to be a twisted bitch with me?" Elizabeth asked.

"As long as it's not an Aileen Wuronos type of deal." Cynthia said. "You're not a female serial killer, are you?"

"No, I'm not a female serial killer." said Elizabeth. "Are you?"

"Nope. There's a lot more to worry about from my end, though." She cleared her throat. "Just a joke. I think."

"Then I 'think' mine was, too." Elizabeth replied sweetly. There was a pause. "Want to meet for coffee tomorrow? Public place?"
"Yeah, why not?" Cynthia replied. "I'm dying of curiosity about who Stefan could brainwash into marrying him."

"So tomorrow, then." said Elizabeth. "Starbucks?"
"Sure."

"Great." Elizabeth said. "I'll bring pictures documenting Stefan's waxing girth."

"You do that." said Cynthia. "How will I recognize you?"

"I'll be hugely pregnant." Elizabeth said. "And holding a manila envelope."

Elizabeth, smoothing her pregnant belly, and holding onto an envelope full of pictures of Stefan, saw a petite woman approach her, glancing down at the envelope in her hand.

"Elizabeth?" said Cynthia, gazing at her amusedly.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm Elizabeth."
"Guess you were true to your word." Cynthia said. "Do I really have to look at what's in there?"
"Don't you want to see what you were reprieved from?" Elizabeth said.

"I guess I do." Cynthia said. She cleared her throat. "I guess you're pretty far along."

"Yeah, seven months." Elizabeth said.

"Feeling okay?"

"Tired a lot." Elizabeth said. "Let's go sit down."

"Of course." Cynthia said.

"So." said Cynthia, when they were seated. "Are you excited? About the baby?"
"Two." Elizabeth said. "I'm going to have two."

"Twins, then."
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm very excited. To be a mom."
"It has it's moments." Cynthia replied.

"How's Maya?" said Elizabeth.

"She's very well."

"What's she like?" said Elizabeth.

"She's...very smart." Cynthia said. "Studious. Not like I was at that age."

"Does she like to read?"

"Yes." said Cynthia. "She's always got her nose in a book."

"Does she ever read Stephen King?"
"Not usually, no."

"Do you let her?"
"If she wants to." Cynthia replied. "I wouldn't start introducing them to Pet Sematary, and the like right out of the womb, though. Maybe wait a couple years."

Elizabeth shook her head. "Thanks for telling me that. I really needed to hear it." she said. "Of course Stefan would actually be serious in saying something like that. He really thinks that I'd read Stephen King to our kids."
"That fat bastard." Cynthia said, with mock conviction.

"Speaking of..." said Elizabeth, spreading the photographs in the envelope on the table.

Cynthia groaned. "I tried so hard to delay it." She took out a pair of reading glasses out of a case in her purse. "It'll happen to you one day, you know." She picked up a photograph.

"Well?"
"My good lord." said Cynthia, gazing at the photograph.

"Oh, come on." Elizabeth said. "It's not that bad." She bit her lip. "Do you really think?"
Cynthia sighed. "No, it's just...I don't know." She shook her head. "Not that bad, but it's just kind of a shock, remembering Stefan, the way I remember him, and seeing...well, I wouldn't recognize him if I saw him on the street, I'll tell you that." Cynthia looked off into the distance for a second, and Elizabeth thought that the look on her face was a slightly sad one.

"This a lawyer photo?" Cynthia asked.

"Yep." said Elizabeth. "He takes one of these every year. He and my dad."
Cynthia looked down at the picture thoughtfully. "Is that your dad right there?"

"Yes." said Elizabeth.

"He's pretty good-looking." said Cynthia gazing at the picture with interest.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "He's sixty years old." she pointed out.

"That doesn't preclude his being good-looking, does it?"

"I guess not." said Elizabeth uncertainly.

"He ever remarry?" Cynthia asked.

"Uh..." said Elizabeth. "Why?"

"Just curious." Cynthia said.

"Why, do you want to go after him?" said Elizabeth, the corners of her mouth turning down, sourly.

"See," Cynthia said, taking a sip of her coffee, and looking at Elizabeth squarely. "that statement makes me think you might be schizoid yourself. You assume everyone is like you. I'm not in any way interested in some guy practically old enough to be my father."

"I resent that." said Elizabeth. "I don't have a preference for older guys."
"Maybe not a preference." said Cynthia. "A tolerance, that's for sure."
Elizabeth shook her head sullenly. "I..." She blew out a breath. "I'm...sorry, all right."
"You should be." Cynthia said. "I was merely making an observation, not expressing romantic interest in your father."
"Well, he's not remarried, anyway." said Elizabeth. "Okay?"

"Just a passing curiosity." said Cynthia.

Elizabeth looked down at her father's photographic likeness, shaking her head. "You're right." she said. "My dad looks great for his age. Keeps trim, always has." Her eyes flicked to Stefan in the picture. "Unlike some people."

"In case I didn't get it." Cynthia remarked, shaking her head.

"Mr. Dawes can eat no fat, and Mr. Grey can eat no lean, I guess." Elizabeth, said, looking at the picture with a look of resigned fondness.

"Guess not."
Elizabeth tapped another picture of Stefan, taken shortly after they had gotten married. "Now this is how I remember Stefan. How he was when I first met him." She looked at the photograph, feeling her eyes well up slightly.

"Yep. He was still...pretty good-looking then." said Cynthia looking at the photo.

"He was sure to tell me he was, too." Elizabeth said.

"But he was just dispensing information, right?" Cynthia asked.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "Very matter-of-fact. As always."