REAL AN: Welp, I didn't want to change the rating so I chickened out on the whole 'MAKE 'EM F*CK' thing. I hope you don't mind and still want to read the rest, there'll be more coming! Imagine Damon and Manfred doing the sexy times tho. Nuh-uh. Not in this parody they won't. Two old men with equally old genitalia.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok manfred's name is MANFERD nut gary stu OK! DAMON IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
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"DAMON!" I shouted. "What on earth do you think you are doing?"
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the motorcycel and he got off of it. I got out of it too.
"What the fucking hell?" I swore angrily.
"Manny?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped.
Damon leaned in extra-close and I looked into his lime green eyes (but he was wearing rose-tinted glasess so they looked pink) which revealed so much guilt and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.
And then… suddenly just as I Damon kissed me passionately. Damon climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against the tree. He took of my suit jacket and I took of his clothes. I even took of my cravat (wich I never take off).
Like respectable peple, we put our underwear back on (AN: no way am i doing that god guys how horney are u to want me and damon to frickle frackle i mean come on) and kept making out by the tree.
"Oh, Damon...!" I liked kissing this man. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale face became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was…Lana!