Alright here's chapter 31 I kind of feel like I need to apologize ahead of time for this chapter, it's not the most cheery chapter in the world. I suppose most of you have probably guessed what was so important to about this week to Jane. So please tell me what you think and as usual I own nothing.
I was sitting behind my desk Monday morning when I realized why Jane wanted tomorrow off. 8/27, the same numbers as his storage unit, the anniversary of their deaths, it would be their first anniversary since the death of their killer. An hour later Jane came in and dropped a sandwich on my desk before letting himself fall on the couch. "Hey Jane don't worry about work tomorrow." I sighed starting on the sandwich.
"I wasn't worried, but thank you Lisbon." He answered not bothering to open his eyes. "However if I'm not at home when you wake up, you shouldn't worry either." I noticed him glance at me as he said it but went back to closing his eyes when he saw me watching him.
"Okay." I frowned, how did I respond to that I like waking up with him next to me, even if it was after his run he was right there when I woke up, I really had meant it that first morning I think I would miss waking up to his kisses. I didn't know if I was supposed to ask him if he was going to be okay, or should I ask if he wants company. Then again maybe his new girlfriend isn't the person he wants to be with most on the day he's remembering his wife and child. Sooner than not Monday was over and I was waking up Tuesday morning to an empty bed. When I brought the kids down to the kitchen I did find a pot of coffee out and ready for me and cinnamon rolls that had a minute left in the oven. So he hadn't left to long ago at least.
"Teresa where's Patrick?" Emily hopped into her seat while I poured the milk.
"Umm he had things to take care of today." I attempted, turning to busy myself with the cinnamon rolls.
"He didn't even say good bye to us." Alyssa frowned.
"I bet he came in and said goodbye while you were sleeping, he left pretty early today." I assured, passing out plates, "Be careful please these are hot."
"What things does he have to take care of?" Emily wondered, blowing on her breakfast.
"Personal things." I answered putting together a bottle for Cass. I didn't know if I should tell them what day it was and why Patrick was gone, or maybe it was better if they didn't know.
"When's he going to be back?" Alyssa questioned. That was a really good question, I didn't know. Why hadn't I thought to ask him yesterday?
"You know what I don't know, but I'm sure he'll be back before you even have time to miss him." That seemed like a reasonable response without answering the question. With breakfast out of the way it was time to drop the kids off at school and it was weird as much as I made fun of him for his good bye kiss I did miss it. This was ridiculous we have been together for a week no man should have that effect on me. "Why don't you guys draw a pretty picture for Patrick today okay, when he comes home he might be a little bit sad." I instructed the girls before sending them off into their classroom.
At work it was almost a worse reaction from the team when I came into to work they were all staring at his spot on the couch every couple minutes to see if he would magically appear. "Boss have you heard from Jane?" Van Pelt asked when she saw me standing in the entryway to the bullpen.
"That's what I came in here to tell you about, I got a call from him pretty late last night, he said he wouldn't be coming to work today." I announced I couldn't help but staring at the couch myself.
"Do you think he's going to be okay?" Rigsby worried.
"Yeah I mean today is…." Van Pelt started but stopped.
"Should he be alone?" Cho looked at the others.
"I'm sure he'll be fine, if he wants our company he knows where to find us. I think he just wants to take the day and grieve we should let him." I sighed it was reassuring to know how devoted everyone on this team was to each other I wonder what would happen if we ever were forced to split up.
"Boss we didn't want to tell you, but I think he's been having a rough time since you know." Rigsby said.
"Yeah he joined us for a couple drinks a couple weeks ago, and he seems pretty upset." Van Pelt added.
"I don't know if he should spend to much time by himself." Cho finished.
"Guys I'm sure he'll be okay, if he doesn't come in tomorrow we can start worrying but give him today, he's had a rough year." I sighed before turning back to my office. I was happy that they were concerned, and I couldn't help but appreciate Jane's acting ability, but if there was any time to worry about him it would be today. Where would he go today? He wouldn't spend all day at the cemetery, especially since he didn't believe they were there would he drive to Malibu and what visit some of the places they went together, that didn't seem likely either.
At lunch I made the decision to go to the cemetery myself, at the very least pay my respects to his family. When I got there I stopped a little ways away Jane was sitting in front of the to headstones, was he actually talking to them? I tried creeping closer to listen.
"…Well I already said he's dead, now I'm starting to think it didn't make a difference at least as far as you guys are concerned. I feel so ridiculous sitting here talking but maybe it's all this church I've been going to but I feel the need to say something since I'm here. Killing him did make a difference to me though, it meant Teresa will be safe, well I guess as safe as she can be in her line of work. I really love her, her and those kids. I don't want you to think you're being replaced. This is stupid it's not like you can even hear me. But I know deep down you would want me to be happy and I'm happy now. These kids are incredible, they're smart and talented and I'm sure if there wasn't such an age difference Charlie and the kids would get along great. Teresa is amazing but I've known that for years, she smart, and funny, she knows how to keep me in line like no one but you ever has. I suppose I have only one complaint about her." He stopped why did he stop, what complaint did he have. "She really needs to learn how to breath quieter if she going to try and stand behind someone and eavesdrop on their conversation, or their lack of conversation." How long had he known I was here? He smirked as he stood up to face me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to, I just came here to give them some flowers, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." I could only stare at the ground in front of me.
"Teresa." He took my hand in his, "It's alright, I'm glad at least someone heard it."
"I'm sure you're family heard it to."
"Maybe." The two of just stood and stared at the two stones in front of us for a little while.
"The kids are worried about you, I didn't tell them why you were gone this morning only that you had things to take care of. And the team is even more concerned, I think there afraid your going to do something drastic."
"I'll be home in time for dinner, I promise." He reached forward and grabbed something from the top of his wife's headstone. Had he taken his ring off? I watched him slide it back onto his finger before looking back at me, "This is a prop until you decide you want the others to know. I don't think Angie would mind to much."
"Where are you going to go?"
"I have a couple places, but work isn't one of them." He started to his car his hand still in mine.
"Wait I'm going to stay for a minute, you go ahead. I'll see you tonight." I let go of his hand and he looked from me to his wife and child but nodded anyway and headed for his car. I waited for him to drive away before laying the flowers down and looking from one stone to the next. "He's a good man, I promise to take care of him for you. I won't let anything happen to him." I whispered before turning for my own car and heading back to work.
Once back at work I had to deal with Bertram who came in to yell at me about Jane once again not showing up for work. But even he couldn't be upset upon my reminding him what day it was. I wanted to spend the day locked in my office but then who would go pick up the kids.
"You want to see the pictures we made?" Alyssa hurried out of her classroom leaving her friends behind.
"I would love to see you're pictures, and guess what I talked to Patrick today he's going to be home in time for dinner." I lifted them into their booster seats.
"Is he okay, did all of his things go okay?" Emily questioned.
"I think he's going to be fine." I assured, "But before we go home to see him we got to go back to work so I can finish up a couple things."
"Who are we going to play with at work with Patrick not there?" Alyssa needed to know. That was a good point, I didn't want to distract my team from the work but I couldn't just leave the kids out there on their own for an hour or two. In the end the kids kept themselves entertained in my office until five o clock.
"Night Boss, what are you going to do about Jane?" Van Pelt looked up from her computer.
"If he doesn't come to work tomorrow then we can think about that, but I trust he'll be okay." I ushered the kids to the elevator. "But give him today okay."
"Why are they worried about Patrick?" Emily questioned once in the elevator.
"Because he doesn't usually miss work and he did today without telling anyone." I answered readjusting William in my arms to dig the car keys out of my pocket.
"He told you he was going to miss work though didn't he." Alyssa took over the questioning. Well yes he did but how do I explain to them Patrick and his many masks, and how him not showing up on this day was even more worrisome to the people that cared about him. Luckily conversation was easily detoured into the excitement of another soccer game tomorrow night.
Pulling into the driveway it was nice to see Jane's car already in the garage. He was quickly out the door to help me unload the kids, "I missed you guys, I'm sorry I left so early this morning." He immediately started apologizing to the children and leading them into the house, where the remnants of Saturday's blanket fort had been taken down and folded in a corner.
"We colored pictures for you." Emily smiled pushing him onto the couch so she could go through her backpack. The minute he was seated William was in his lap and smiling I wonder what had been going on in the poor boys head all day, had he been afraid of Jane leaving or positive Jane would come back?
"I would love to see those pictures, but then I got presents for you guys too." He smiled nodding toward a bag at the end of the couch. Presents? "Don't worry Teresa there's something in there for you to." He chuckled looking up from the pictures just to see my reaction. Could I be mad at him now for buying me things, technically speaking that's what rich boyfriends were for right. Not that it made me more willing to accept the gift, I mean gifts really were a waste of money, romantic but a waste of money nonetheless.
"Time for out presents!" Alyssa jumped from the couch and ran to the bag the minutes the pictures had been set aside.
"Bring it here please." Patrick instructed moving over a little to make sure everyone was comfortable on the couch.
"Me first please pretty please!" Alyssa begged jumping in between Jane and I.
"Patience please." He chuckled, "What is it with the women in this house and patience." He earned a slap from me, he just kept smirking pulling out five separate boxes and setting the bag aside. "Cass has been the quietest she gets hers first." He opened the smallest box and placed a tiny silver bracelet with a single charm on it around her wrist. Next he presented William with a bracelet made of some type of cord it also held a single trinket, but the cord itself seemed to be wrapped around multiple times almost like it could grow with the boys wrist. Then each twin got a silver bracelet similar to that of their little sisters, also holding a single charm. Lastly lay a single box for me, inside was the same style bracelet with again just one charm. "Now here's the deal each year we're together in this house or anywhere else you guys get a new charm." He smiled setting the boxes aside with the bag.
I waited for him to gather the kids and head into the kitchen to make dinner before examining the bracelet on my wrist. Did he expect me to wear this he knew I didn't wear jewelry with the exception of my necklace. The bracelet itself was simple enough, but the charm was something else. A simple silver square with a golden gun fashioned into it, he had even had my name etched into the barrel of the gun. The image made me smile, maybe on occasion I would wear the bracelet, not to work, but maybe on my days off.
"Patrick how much did all this cost?" I wondered sitting in his arms on the couch after dinner.
"The last of my poker money." He smiled, "I figured this was an acceptable thing to spend it on, given I'm not allowed to go to the casino's anymore."
" I never said you aren't allowed, I just said you should use some of your money in the bank and not go to the casino's quite as often."
"Go on to bed, I'll be up in a little bit." He whispered a couple minutes later after he caught me trying to hide a yawn.
"I'm fine it was just a yawn."
"Teresa you're exhausted, go on up I just want to think over a couple things for a little bit."
"Don't stay up to late." I gave in giving him a quick kiss before making my way to bed. I didn't like him sitting alone in the dark, but I guess if he thought it would make him feel better I would give him that for now. I slowly let myself fall asleep but was awoken an hour or so later by the fact that I was still alone in my bed. I tried to convince myself that everything would be fine, but that didn't stop me from starting back down stairs. I was halfway down when I saw the TV screen and could just make out the voices.
"Look mommy now I can be just like daddy!" A little girl unwrapped a child's magic kit.
"Oh I don't think we need anyone else like daddy, I can only handle one troublemaker in this house." The camera turned to see a women smiling at her daughter.
"I should take offense to that." I familiar voice came from behind the camera.
"You should but you won't." The women continued to smile.
"Daddy look can you help me learn." The little girl came running toward the camera with her new magic set.
"I think I can handle that." The man answered handing the camera off to his wife and pulling the little girl onto his lap.
The scene on the screen paused, "It was her sixth birthday." Patrick was watching me on the stairs. His voice was scratchy and the tear tracks were visible even from where I stood on the stairs. This was the second time today that I felt like I was somewhere I shouldn't be only this was so much worse. He motioned for me to come sit with him.
"Sorry, you weren't in bed I thought maybe you had fallen asleep down here or something."
"You don't have to apologize for being worried about me, or coming down stairs in your own house." He gave a sad smile.
"Have you been watching these since I went to bed?"
"Uh huh."
"You want some company?"
"I think I would like that."
To think that he had been sitting down here by himself reliving the scenes in these videos made me feel so sorry for him, and a little guilty for having fallen asleep upstairs without him. On the other hand when he turned the home video back on I almost felt like I was intruding. However he held my hand in his and all I could do was sit with him and hold him. Not long into the video I found that I had tears running down my face as well.