I wake up now and then. Not entirely sure where I am or what's happening. But I feel him there, next to me. Nick.
The first time I regain some lucidity, I think I was in an ambulance. The EMTs were telling Nick to just follow in the squad car, but Nick forced himself into the ambulance wordlessly and held my hand.
The next time I kind of woke up, I may have been in the hospital. I felt something sharp stab me in the chest and I suddenly feel like I had the energy to get up, but as sudden as the jolt of energy arrived it went away as quickly too.
And now, I feel calmer, but still tired. I'm slightly afraid to open my eyes and find out where I am. I know it's irrational, but I feel anxious. Like when I open my eyes, I might find out that everything after UC was nothing more but a dream.
I feel more and more anxious, but as I start to move my hand, I realize someone's been holding me the whole time. It gives me strength because I know the feel of this hand. It's Nick.
"Hey," I hear him talk to me, even though I haven't opened my eyes.
"You don't have to force yourself, okay? I know you're tired, but I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. And I can wait, as long as it takes, okay? So no hurry."
I tear up, chastising myself for thinking that Nick was a dream. Despite his reassuring speech, I force my eyes to open.
As soon as my eyes adjust to the lighting, I see Nick looking at me.
"Hey," I say back with a smile.
His red eyes widen and his grip on my hand tightens.
"Andy," he whispers.
"What? You had so much to say while I was out, now you go mute?" I joke.
He looks at me like he's unsure of what to do.
"Nick, I'm really awake, okay?" I say.
His eyes grow with relief, "God, Andy. I'm just. I don't know where to start. Is it too soon to remind you that I love you?"
I shake my head, "Definitely not too soon. Because I love you too."
"I really missed you. Lemme just go call the doctor," he says as he stands and kisses my temple.
The doctor tells me that I've been out for three days. He tells me that I was shot in my abdomen just below my vest. And to Nick's horror, the doctor even told me how persistent Nick was with getting updates when I was unconscious.
Dr. Samson prescribed me pain meds and antibiotics for when I get out. Which he said would be in three days. He told me the usual stuff, no operating heavy machinery, stay with someone who can keep an eye on me, and come back 2 times a week for a month for physical therapy.