CHAPTER 2 – The Confrontation
Valka practically jumped three feet in the air as the front door of the chieftain's home crashed open with a loud bang.
A dark figure stood panting in the entranceway, a double-sided axe in one hand, its blade glistening in the light.
"Ah, Astrid? Is that you?" said Hiccup's mother cautiously. The feminine shape grunted, and stalked forward, the axe swinging slowly as she walked. "Valka," said a voice that was clearly Astrid's, but held a strange note of malice. "Oh good, it's you! For a moment I—well. Never mind," said Valka kindly, "What's the matter?" The beautiful blonde woman emerged from the shadows, a livid expression on her face.
"Did you agree to sign a form that has me going away to some princess academy?" She accused, cutting straight to the chase. Valka coughed, startled. "Why, um, yes. Yes, I did."
"Without asking Hiccup first?"
"Yes, well, they wanted an answer right away, and Hiccup's out, so—"
"So you decided to make a huge decision that affects my immediate future without asking him or me. Why?!"
"I didn't realize this was such a big deal, I mean, they're giving you several weeks to prepare—"
"Two! Two weeks. Two weeks to spend with a man I just married, before being shipping off to an unknown land to be badgered by some dumb princesses for an entire year!"
Astrid's soon-to-be mother-in-law looked rather alarmed. "An entire year?!" she exclaimed, "They didn't say it would be that long! I thought you would only have to go for a week seminar or something…They can't do that, I mean really, you will have just gotten married." Astrid groaned in exasperation, "That's what I said!" Valka started to look a little horrified with herself. "I'm so sorry Astrid, I really didn't mean to put you in this position…" she fretted, tugging at her long braids.
"They told me I have no choice but to go. Unless I want to bring down war on the Hairy Hooligan Tribe," said Astrid. Valka let out an outburst of confusion and panic. Astrid hurriedly calmed her down and explained the entire encounter. Hiccup's mother scowled. "This is outrageous," she said. "They can't threaten you like that!"
Then she relaxed slightly. "But, clearly, the Queen of Corona knows that's the only way to make us Vikings do anything she wants. She doesn't mean any harm. She just wants to bring unity to her people. The sacrifice of one brings peace for all. I understand her motives." Valka nodded, as if she had made a mental conclusion. "The only thing you can do, Astrid…is say yes." Before her son's shocked fiancée could make any logical argument, Valka strode out her own front door, and headed for Astrid's house, with that very girl hot on her heels.
"What do you mean—" Astrid demanded, raising her axe menacingly, as she struggled to keep up with her soon-to-be-mother-in-law. "Exactly what I said," murmured Valka, submerged in her own thoughts. Then Valka's eyes flashed with worry.
"Oh Thor…" she murmured, so only the young woman beside her could barely hear, "But what is Hiccup going to do when he finds out…"
Meanwhile…
Hiccup and Toothless hid crouched behind a large expansion of thick elderberry bushes, Gronckle Iron crossbow and plasma blast at the ready. "Get ready buddy, I can hear them coming," whispered Hiccup, straining to catch the slightest rustle of movement in the distance. They had been waiting for what seemed like days for a certain herd of reindeer to make their way to their ambush area. Now, the moment had finally arrived! Determined that nothing would spoil the reward for their patience, Hiccup and Toothless had exercised constant vigilance for the last hour, barely breathing as the herd crept nearer and nearer, grazing lazily.
At last, a group of thirty or more venison stood sprawled out in front of their unnoticed predators.
"Alright," whispered Hiccup, his heart in his throat, "Now. 1…2…3…Go!"
"IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"
Arrows flying and plasma blasting, the boy and his dragon attacked the herd with the kind of Viking fearlessness portrayed many times before by their ancestors. By the end of the massacre, the two had around 18 does and 2 large bucks in sacks to take home for the wedding banquet. Hiccup grinned at Toothless, who gave a gigantic toothy smile in return. "Astrid will be really pleased!"
A loud snort echoed behind him. "Well, yeah, obviously," said Snotlout gruffly, scratching his elbow. "She's getting married to you, after all." Hiccup rolled his eyes, hoisting one the sacks into the yak-drawn cart Snotlout had driven from the camp to find him. "How about you get down and help?" he said, turning back to the tall stack of dead game. Snotlout grumbled, but obliged. Ten minutes later, the two young men had arrived back at the camp to a magnificent bonfire, some sleepy dragons, and more than one drunken Viking.
"I'll swim an' sail on savage seas, with ne'er a fear o' drowninnnnnnnnnnnnnnn—" Gobber hobbled about, pouring more ale, and merrily warbling the old ballad. "Ah!" he shouted, noticing the newcomers, "Hiccup an' Sno'lout are back! Looks like they brought a great bounty wi' 'em too!"
The men erupted into a mass of whoops, hollers, and cheers. "Whatcha got, Hiccup?" called out Eret son of Eret. Soon the young chief was surrounded by approving elders picking through his findings. "Your wedding's gonna have a mighty fine menu, chief!" said a boy, jumping up and down in delight. Hiccup smiled, proud and content that his village would be well fed, if only for a week, if not longer. But then his grin grew wider as he anticipated the warm welcome he would receive once they returned home tomorrow.
And the day after, I'll be married to the love of my life.
That night, both Hiccup and Astrid lay awake, restless. Both got up and went outside their tent/house for a breath of fresh air, leaving their slumbering dragons behind. But only one... was ambushed.
"What the—" Hiccup shouted, before being stifled by a wad of dirty rags. A grubby sack (which had probably previously held the kill he had brought home this evening) was pulled over his head, and everything went dark. Struggling, the young chief could barely make out the muffled voices of several men, who seemed to be plotting something sinister. Little did he know, out of earshot of their hostage, Snotlout, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, and a few of the other Vikings were merely scheming about what they should do to the soon-to-be newly-wed they had just prank-kidnapped.
"We should cut off his ring finger," Tuffnut sniggered, "It would make putting the gold band on it a lot harder."
"No!" exclaimed Fishlegs, appalled at the idea. Tuffnut shrugged, itching behind his ear. "I don't see why we can't just put him back," suggested Fishlegs, "maybe he'll just think it was all a dream." Snotlout looked at him incredulously. "After all this work? Never!"
Eret, after conferring with a few of the other boys, piped up. "Why don't we knock him out, rid him of all his clothes and various contraptions, and then tie him to the top of a tree?"
"Yeah! And then we could throw him in the lake the next morning for a lovely wake-up call!" said another person. "We could say we're giving him a decent cleansing, so he'll be nice and fresh for his wedding night," Snotlout proposed, winking slyly. The guys roared wildly.
"You know, I thought when you said we were celebrating one of his last nights as a bachelor, that we'd be laughing with him, not…um…at him!" objected Fishlegs, trying to bring reason to the impossible situation.
None of the boys were listening, however, as they hoisted the blindfolded Hiccup into the air and carried him to tree by the lake. The plan followed through without a hitch, and sure enough, the next morning, an unconscious (but not for long) Hiccup was being dispensed rather brusquely into the ice-cold freshwater lake near the camp. Let's just say, their leader was not the slightest bit pleased to be woken in such a manner. However, the boys and men who had placed him there enjoyed themselves profusely, watching him splash about naked and in total shock (mental and physical).
No logical sentence was recorded to have erupted from Hiccup's mouth that morning, as he wallowed in those frigid waters. Which was perhaps best for his men, because when he clambered out (and was quickly offered a blanket, due to the livid expression on his face), they received a long string of barely comprehendible syllables, which can hardly be considered words. Basically, they got an earful of foul language. But after their chief had come to his senses a bit, warmed up, drank a hot cup of coffee, and discovered his good humor again, they all were soon laughing at the strange turn of events.
"I hope you realize you're gonna get the same treatment when you get engaged, Snotlout!" Hiccup bellowed after his third cup of coffee, attempting to be intimidating, but failing miserably. Snotlout snickered, slapping him on the back affectionately. Fishlegs patted Meatlug, who then vomited some more lava onto the burning campfire.
"We've gotta be goin', lads," said Gobber after the group had quieted their merriment, his knees cracking as he rose from his log by the fire. Hiccup nodded, downing his last swing of warm caffeine. The camp packed up pretty quick, and soon they were headed for the boats (dragons were not big enough or strong enough to carry all the gear and game).
Then, to Berk.