Here's the third chapter and I hope you'll like it.
Thanks to inmate23 again! :)
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Red had decided to leave early in the morning. He hadn't been to Nebraska since Sam died and the memories of this day were still haunting him like a ghost. There was a reason why he hadn't been to several places during the last twenty years.
Psychologists would define his behavior as repression. He had avoided going to Florence, as it could have led to a serious relationship with Madeline Pratt. He had never celebrated Christmas since 1990, because it reminded him of better time, but he returned to his hometown, only to blow up his former house, hoping that this action would help him forget those past memories.
It wasn't that he didn't want friends, or someone by his side to love, but he convinced himself he didn't deserve any friends, love and happiness. Even though it was only a matter of time until his ghosts outrun him, he had expected it to be less painful. Sleep had always been a luxury in Red's life and 4 hours were usually enough to regain energy for the following day but last night was horrendous.
After his talk with Lizzy, his mind was far from shutting down. All of his senses were alert and wide awake, so he didn't find sleeping an option. Instead, he had emptied his scotch, assuming that drinking was the only chance to get some rest eventually. It was a relief to find that she would stay with him and not completely turn away.
Even though he would have accepted every decision she made, he couldn't fathom the thought of proceeding without her in his life. She saw him as a friend and she was the only stability he currently had. All of these emotions and thoughts drifted through his mind, as he was lyingon his bed and watching the night slowly pass by.
Red eventually gave up trying to get any sleep, and it was probably for the best since his nightmares became worse after, or before dangerous events. He decided to use this time to form a plan, in which both women would survive in the end. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be hundred percent safe, but there was no other way out. They will go to Nebraska, get the disk and he'll try to rescue Jennifer without involving Lizzy. He was betting that the Chinese faction were behind all of this and if that was true, so help him God, they were as good as dead.
Consequences be damned.
He got dressed in a casual pair of dark jeans, a white dress shirt, and slipped on a blue sweater. Normally, he preferred to wear suits above anything else, as they were some sort of armor and symbolized elusiveness, strength and invulnerability. Given the fact that those characteristics were destroyed for now, he didn't feel like wearing those. He felt vulnerable, weak, and worst of all, someone had found his blind spot. However, he had to maintain his facade, at least in front of Lizzy.
They walked the streets of the small town, where she grew up. It was a rather cold and foggy day in December, so Lizzy zipped up her coat and buried her hands deeper into her pockets. She glimpsed at Red every now and then, whose eyes wandered around until they came to a short stop on Sam's old house.
The nerve under his left eye twitched for a brief moment, something no one would have ever recognized, but she learned to read him and knew all of his tics and tells. Tipping against his thigh with either his hat, or hand meant nervousness and impatience; the eye twitch, and chewing always happened when she confronted him with something, which made him feel uncomfortable, or when he thought back to certain moments.
He often tried to suppress those habits, but habits remained habits, even for Raymond Reddington. When her elbow accidentally brushed his expensive coat, her eyes turned towards the house of her aunt. She hadn't seen her since her father's funeral.
She sniffed to stop her running nose and asked, as her almost numb finger, hit the doorbell, "How much does she know about...us?"
"That I saved you.", he said matter-of-factly.
Liz stuttered a small "Good" through chattering teeth, as the door was opened by a middle-aged woman, who was obviously perplexed at the sight of her niece on her doorstep.
"Lizzy!", she exclaimed happily, as she finally pulled her into a tight hug.
She eventually let go and smiled brightly, her hands on Lizzy's shoulders, "How are you doing, sweetie?"
"I'm fine.", she lied, managing a small smile in return.
She took a glimpse at Red over her shoulder, than back at her aunt, who was now fully focused on Red. He watched how she slowly approached him, seemingly uncertain if it was really him.
"Raymond,", she eyed him cautiously from head to toe, with folded arms, until a smile spread across her face, "come here, you cheeky rascal."
Red, always the gentleman, bent down and kissed her cheek, as a hoarse 'Hello, my dear.' left his lips.
"I must say, you've become quite tubby.", she said mockingly as her hand patted his belly playfully.
He looked down, slightly offended, even if he didn't show it and chuckled, "Well, I can't resist any kind of food, since I once fasted for a week. It was awful."
Lizzy bit down on her bottom lip to hold back a laugh. It was an almost unbelievable sight to see Raymond Reddington, a wanted criminal, get his belly patted like a puppy. His tales and encounters with acquaintances from his past, were always amusing and something she was actually really fond of, but this particular one would definitely be among her favorites, although it also worried her.
He is used to holding back any emotions in front of other people, and normally she wouldn't care about that, however, the images of his teary-eyed face and the honesty in his voice, from their recent conversation, were a turning point in their relationship. Despite all the horrible things he had done, she couldn't hate him, and that made her question her sanity once again.
Lizzy slowly came back to awareness, as Red began to slip off his coat and talk to June about them working together in general, even though his words still seemed miles away. Her fingers finally found the zipper of her coat, to take it off and hang it in the wardrobe.
"Do you want anything? Coffee, or tea maybe?", June asked both her visitors friendly.
Red and Liz simultaneously responded to her question with a resolute "No, thanks." until their eyes met shortly and Red gestured for Lizzy to continue.
"I need something from dad's things. Are the boxes in the attic?", she asked, while her finger pointed at the stairs.
"Yeah, but it's quite messy, so you'll have to rummage through it yourself."
'Wonderful'
"No problem.", she tried to smile and climbed up the stairs.
As much as she loved her family, there was always one family member you wanted to avoid badly and her aunt definitely took the cake in that case. Not that she didn't like her but she had a tendency to be slightly intrusive and overbearing. Moreover, they didn't have time for small talk.
Red silently followed her upstairs, while his eyes focused on her back as she went into the dimly lit room. He squinted, so that he could at least see Lizzy, who walked gracefully around all the boxes as he cautiously tried to do the same.
She finally managed to switch on the light, and turned around to survey the utter chaos. There were dozens of boxes placed on the dusty floor and she was glad that she had chosen darker clothes today.
They started to pick up one cardboard box after another, in comfortable silence. To be honest, she had no idea what they could talk about anyway.
Looking through Sam's old belongings was still hard for her, and she hoped to find that plush toy as soon as possible, because she didn't know for how long she could hold her emotions in check. So she thought it best to interrupt the silence.
She cleared her dry throat, her eyes still fixed on the box in front of her, "You tried fasting for a week? Really?"
"Yes, until a T-Bone Steak and Crème Brûlée crossed my path."
"I haven't expected your endurance to be so low."
"Only with food.", he winked.
Liz nodded hesitantly with raised eyebrows and mumbled a quiet 'Right'. She opened the next one, that contained a photo of her and Sam on top, which caused her mood to drop immediately.
"Did Sam know about all of this?", she asked quietly.
"About my weakness for food?", he joked, although he knew where the conversation was heading.
"Red...", she said, her patience was wearing thin.
He answered her with a short nod, before he stopped what he was doing and rested his hands on the table. Ever so often, he tilted his head to seek out her face and study her features.
"He didn't hesitate when I asked him to take care of you, Lizzy.", he paused for a brief moment, "His reasons to be there for you and protect you, were dissimilar to mine. He did that, because he loved you unconditionally. That's what parents do. Protect and love their children, without expecting something in return. Sam was, by far, the best father I have ever seen. Don't think he had any other motives." He explained, his voice at the end nothing more than a whisper.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and breathed out deeply, her eyes never leaving his, "If that's what parents do, then why did you abandon your family? How can you be so calm right now?"
The expression on his face ultimately changed from caring, to that emotionless mask, but if his hands hadn't been resting on the wooden table, he would have had problems staying upright. He counted the number of times, she called him out on that and this was the third time.
If anyone else confronted him with that piece from his past, he simply wouldn't care, but it hurt that Lizzy thought of him as an obnoxious person.
Sadly, now wasn't the time to talk about that fateful Christmas Eve, even if he couldn't bear her disappointed glances anymore. Leaving his family, especially his daughter, had never been an easy option for him. His marriage wasn't happy at all, they were both young and convinced they would manage the difficulties his job would bring. Jennifer had been the only shining light in his miserable life.
He peered down and clenched his jaw, their breathing the only sound in the room by now.
"Well...", he started calmly after a while and continued looking into the box, until he finally found what they were seeking.
"Panic gets you into nothing but trouble and it wouldn't change a thing, except making you vulnerable to mistakes.", he stated simply and got his penknife out of his pocket.
"People make mistakes. That's human."
"Is this the moral of the F.B.I?", he laughed, "Why am I not surprised?"
She sighed and leaned over to get a better look at what he was currently doing. He had already opened the plush animal, his hand buried in the back of her bunny. It came back out empty.
"It's gone.", he said and shook his head in disbelief.
"Are you sure?", she had a look herself, but it was indeed empty, "I don't know who..."
"I do.", he interrupted her.
"Would you give me your phone, please? I have to call Mr. Kaplan."
She gave him her cell without another word and listened how he told the older woman to look for someone named Marcus Havering in Chicago.
"Who is Marcus Havering?", she asked suspiciously, walking towards him.
"Someone who was most certainly faster than we were."
She sighed, "Okay, and now what?"
"I'm going to fly to Chicago, as soon as Mr. Kaplan gives me more information."
"What am I gonna do?"
"You will stay in D.C. Ezra will be close by."
She shook her head and stared at him, "Oh no, we're not doing this. I'm perfectly capable of handling this. I'll join you."
They continued their silent battle for a few more seconds, until Red gradually closed the distance between them. He peered down at her and put both of his hands on her shoulders, as he said in his low smooth voice, "It was not my intent to offend you, Lizzy, I simply thought your presence would only distract me. I must keep you safe and I will do my utmost to keep you away from danger, because if something happens to you too, I won't be calm anymore."
His hands ran softly down her arms, until he finally let go and smiled tenderly at her.
She could only nod. His words, his touch and his whole presence took her completely in. They have been close to one another a couple of times, but something was different this time. She couldn't exactly make out what it was. Her eyes were still fully fixated on him, his green eyes and his tender smile. Her heart was beating fast against her chest, as she felt his hands moving down her arms and much to her dismay, she missed the brush of his fingers against her skin. It was then that a thought struck her.
'I can't fall in love with a criminal.'