Castiel's first few hours his own were the worst of his life. When he landed, because there was no other word for it besides that, he'd lain in the dirt for a very long time, praying for death. His sister was dead. His mother had lied to him for years about his origins. It was confirmed, he wasn't human, and now he was alone. All he had were the blood-soaked clothes on his back and a strange wooden box that he wasn't sure he could even open.

When death didn't come, which would have been merciful and beautiful, he got up began to trudge through the field where he'd landed, hoping to find a house or a store where he could clean up and possibly get some lunch. So far, today had been the longest and worst day of his life.

He had no idea how his mother smearing blood on the wall would have sent him here. He didn't even know where here was. He'd tried to get a sense of his location when he'd landed, but all he was able to glean from his surroundings were that he was nowhere close to home. For one thing, it was hot and right now, Illinois was mild, the temperature not really spiking up past 70. He was also surrounded by mountains and as far as he knew, there were no mountains anywhere close to home. It was also remote. He couldn't see any roads, couldn't see any houses or stores. Wherever he'd landed, it was truly in the middle of nowhere.

He thought about the day's events. In his mind, they seemed unreal. It hadn't really hit him yet, especially Anna's death and the appearance of demons. He hadn't even known things like that had existed, yet one had showed up at his house and turned his life upside down.

When he thought about his sister, he felt sick. Anna, beautiful and kind Anna, was dead. He thought about how she'd made him feel normal, despite his freakish traits. He remembered how after she had gotten used to the notion that Castiel was different, they'd go to the mall to people watch and play 20 questions. She'd point out the weirdest looking people, men who looked like trench coat flashers and women who looked like cat ladies, and she'd try to guess what they were thinking and then he would confirm or deny. When his temper began to spiral out of control the last few months due to the constant headaches and shoulder pain, she purchased yoga and meditation DVDs and they began doing yoga and practicing mindfulness in order to keep his emotions under control. Anna, who drove him to school and spent time with him during the weekends, even though she had more exciting places to be. Anna, who he'd helped pass physics. Anna, who had been the one constant in his life since he was seven years old, she was dead.

His misery compounded the further he walked when he became aware of more basic needs. For one thing, he needed water. It was at least 85 degrees outside and he hadn't consumed any water since the morning, which seemed like a different lifetime now. He hadn't eaten since this morning and he was beginning to feel exhausted. Without water, food or sleep, he didn't know what would happen to him. He knew he didn't want to die of starvation or dehydration.

Castiel groaned, realizing that his predicament could become dire very quickly. He sat down on the ground, trying to figure out what to do.

"Maybe the box has a gun inside it and I can shoot myself and spare myself any more days like this." he muttered to no one in particular.

He tugged at the lid once again, trying to pry it off. He smashed it on the ground, trying to break the lid, with no success. He stared at it, trying to think of what he was doing wrong. It was small, no bigger than a jewelry box. He ran his fingers over the carving on the lid. He thought about the strange smears his mother had put on the wall. The carvings on the box resembled it and whatever the sign on the wall had been, her blood had activated it.

"It's worth a shot." He murmured.

Not having anything sharp at his disposal, he leaned over and bit himself on the wrist, tearing away a sizeable chunk of flesh. He rubbed his bleeding wrist on the box and watched. The symbol on top of the box reacted to his blood, and the carvingburned and crackled, and was singed black. He looked down at his wrist, which wasn't healing. It didn't surprise him. He was still exhausted from the "battle" with the demon earlier.

The box popped open and inside, he found two things. One was an envelope with his name on it, sealed shut with a strange brand. There was also a vial containing something he couldn't identify. Castiel lifted it to his face and stared into it. The vial was filled with some strange white fog. Staring at it actually hurt his eyes a little bit, but somehow, it looked familiar. He tried to open the vial, but he couldn't do that either. He opened envelope and amazingly, inside there was a letter that was written in English. He began to read it.

Dear (strange circle with lines and triangles around it),

If you're reading this letter, it means that Christina has come clean with you about your origins, or something has happened and you have discovered this box and this letter. I sincerely hope it is the former and that you won't need what's in the vial or me. I know your mother though and I suspect she would never tell you the truth, not until you were older and needed to know what was happening. You might wonder what the symbol next to 'Dear' is. That is your name, my boy, your given Enochian name. I believe in English it is spelled "Castiel," which does have a nice ring to it.

If you're of age, meaning a teenager in human years, you might notice you're going through some changes. I'm not talking about your voice changing. I'm talking about your grace. You probably are in a lot of pain and you might have wings by now. I wish I had been there to help you through the beginning of that. If you haven't realized by now, you are different than other humans. You're special; possibly even one of a kind. For this reason, I have done my best to protect you. No angels will find you or your mother and I pray (well, I don't pray, not anymore) that you are safe from anything else that might want to harm you. When you grow up, you will be very strong. I'm not even sure how strong, since you're my first and hopefully my only. Spiderman, quoting Voltaire, once said "With great power, comes great responsibility"—I instruct you to live by these words, even though I have not. You are your own man, but your abilities will set you apart from the rest of humanity. You might hate me and your mother for what we've done to you, singling you out, but your power is a gift, Castiel. Use it wisely.

If you read the bible, which I doubt you do, based on your mother's experience with me, you'll know that it dubs you "Nephilim" which translates into "giants." It doesn't mean in stature. You are the product of a human and an angel. Your mother is a special human and I am very different from most angels, and this is why I stayed away from them, among humanity. You are a result of this. I loved your mother once and I have always loved you, even though I haven't been there. If you are reading this now, there is a chance you might need me.

In the box, you will find a vial containing the tiniest speck of my grace. Due to some spell work I did when you were a baby, you are hidden from all angels, including me. You will need this grace to open up our connection, to bring me to you. I would love to meet you, even if you aren't in trouble. As with most Enochian spells, the vial requires blood to be opened. Prick your finger, place your finger on the vial, and say the words below. It doesn't matter if you mispronounce them. I will see you soon.

Love,

Gabriel

Castiel stared at the letter, which was written in beautiful script, clearly by someone with a light hand. His mother had said all of the answers he needed would be in the box. The letter was from Gabriel, who must be the "angel" who also happened to be his biological father. She must have meant that summoning Gabriel would give him the answers. Castiel wasn't sure that he wanted to summon Gabriel, who supposedly wasn't human and must also some kind of freak who is into interspecies romance. He remembered his mother saying "he was so beautiful!" and he wondered what Gabriel looked like. Would he have wings? Would he carry a harp and wear Birkenstocks? If Gabriel truly was an angel and angels existed, why was he separated from the rest of the angels?

Castiel stared at the words at the bottom of the letter. He didn't recognize the language, but he assumed it was Latin or Hebrew, since Gabriel was an angel. Castiel looked around. The field was empty and the sun was getting hotter, beating down on his bare skin. He was getting thirsty and he was so tired that he felt like he might pass out.

"I truly have nothing left to lose." He murmured to himself.

Castiel felt like he was going crazy. Was he really about to do a blood spellto summon an angel? Everything that had happened that day was out of this world and his life was only getting worse. It couldn't hurt, and if Gabriel really was his father, maybe he could help him. Castiel's wrist was still bleeding, so he rubbed some of that blood on his index finger and rubbed it on the lid of the vial. He said the words at the bottom of the page, stumbling over the vowels.

The vial's lid popped off and the glowing white mist, Gabriel's "grace," as he'd called it in the letter, flowed out of the vial and into the gaping wound on his wrist, mingling with his own blood. When the "grace" hit him, his wrist instantly healed and Castiel was overcome by a sudden sense of tranquility. It felt so right. He also felt clean, all of his guilt from earlier in the day, washed away. He sighed, hoping the feeling would never fade.

He heard a flapping, a rustling, that sounded like wings. A man had suddenly appeared in front of him, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Castiel's feelings of peace faded slightly when he saw the man. He didn't look like an angel at all. He was short, possibly even shorter than Castiel, with messy brownish blonde hair and the beginnings of a beard. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a button up shirt. He didn't have wings or a halo or a harp. He looked like Castiel's English teacher, not an angel sent from Heaven.

The man grinned at him. "Hey kid."

"You're Gabriel?" He asked in disbelief.

Gabriel just smirked a little bit. "Friends call me Loki, but you can call me Gabriel, since we're related and all."

Gabriel held out his hand and pulled Castiel up off the ground. He took in Castiel's appearance, the blood soaked shirt, his narrow shoulders, the messy hair and the deep circles under his eyes. Castiel felt embarrassed to look this way in front of an angel, even though Gabriel himself wasn't that impressive. At least Gabriel was clean and could transport himself all around the world.

"So, why'd she send you to Japan?" Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow. "The blood, I assume that's not yours?"

"I'm in Japan?" Castiel asked in disbelief.

"Yes. Now, what happened?"

"A demon came after me." He muttered, not mincing any words. "It killed my stepsister and my mom sent me away."

Gabriel's face changed and suddenly, Castiel became acutely aware of the enormous power that this small man had. He could feel it coming off him in waves. Gabriel was angry and Castiel could tell that this wasn't someone you wanted to piss off.

"What happened to the demon? Did it hurt you?" He asked darkly.

"I killed it." Castiel said warily.

Gabriel's face changed again, from a look of anger to a look of surprise. "You killed it?"

Castiel just nodded. He was so tired of all of this.

Gabriel was actually silent for a moment, as if he'd never suspected that Castiel would be able to do something like that. He just nodded and he looked a little proud. "Alright kid, let's get you out of here. You look like you need a shower, a warm bed and copious amounts of alcohol." Gabriel said.

Castiel opened his mouth to say something about how he wasn't old enough to drink, but shut it because right now, he was willing to try anything to make himself feel better. Gabriel placed a warm hand on his shoulder and he was transported across the world again, this time to a lavish apartment in London.

When they landed, Castiel's stomach turned over and he almost hurled. "What, how did you do that?" He gasped.

"It's called flying. One day you might be able to do it too. Have your wings come in yet?" Gabriel said.

"My wings? I don't HAVE wings. I'm not THAT much of a freak." Castiel said.

Gabriel just chuckled. "She didn't tell you much, did she?"

"She didn't tell me anything. I didn't even know… angels and demons existed until today."

Gabriel looked unsurprised. "What's your favorite food?"

"What?"

"You look hungry. There's a bathroom with a Jacuzzi in there. Go get cleaned up, try to relax a little bit, I'll conjure us some grub and I'll tell you everything you need to know."

Castiel thought for a minute, almost ready to demand answers, but then his stomach growled and he became aware of how disgusting he must be.

"Cheeseburgers. I like cheeseburgers and onion rings." He said slowly.

"What's the best cheeseburger you've ever had?"

Castiel shrugged helplessly.

"Alright, well, go get cleaned up. There should already be some clothes in there for you. I'll get you some dinner and if you're up to it, I'll tell you everything you need to know."

Castiel wandered into the bathroom. This apartment was the nicest accommodations he'd ever seen. He'd known immediately they were in London because he'd looked out the window and had seen Big Ben. He'd always wanted to travel and now he'd been to Japan and London in one day.

Sure enough, there was a Jacuzzi and a towel rack draped with a fresh set of clothes that looked his size, a bathrobe, and a huge towel. Castiel wondered where everything had come from, because there was no way Gabriel could have seen him coming. Ultimately, he decided not to think about it.

After the longest bath in the history, Castiel almost felt human again. He ventured out of the bathroom into the massive dining room. Gabriel was sitting on one of the plush chairs and an absolute feast of cheeseburgers, onion rings, salad, beer and soda sat out in front of him. Gabriel nodded at it.

"I got it from a seaside shack in New Jersey. Best damn burgers I've ever tasted." The angel said, smiling at him and this time it was a little less of a smirk.

"You went to New Jersey while I was in there?" Castiel asked. "Is this where you live?"

"Yes I did, and sometimes I live here. I've got a few places squired away. This one's the most kid-friendly. Speaking of that, how old are you anyway?"

"You don't know?" Castiel asked darkly.

"Castiel, I'm an angel. I've been alive for longer than you can comprehend. Time means nothing to me anymore. It's nothing personal." Gabriel said, shrugging a little bit.

He seemed like he was being honest, so Castiel cut him a break. "I'm 14. My birthday is in two weeks."

"Fourteen. I'll be damned. You're so young." Gabriel said softly. "You're a child."

Castiel just nodded a little. Right now he certainly felt like a child, helpless and small, lost without his family and his big sister. He sat down at the table and began to eat. Gabriel watched him with curiosity, as if he had never seen anyone eat before. The burgers were indeed the best he'd ever had, and so were the onion rings. He ate all of the food, drank the beer and the soda, as well as two bottles of water. It was probably the most satisfying meal he'd ever eaten.

"I'll say one thing. You certainly have an appetite. That's human." Gabriel observed as Castiel finished off the last of the food, a salad.

"You don't eat?" Castiel asked.

"I don't need to eat, but I do. Quite often, in fact, especially treats. It's one of the best earthly pleasures your species has been afforded."

"Why do I need to eat if I'm like you? I was so hungry I almost passed out."

"You're part human. Humans need to eat." Gabriel said. "You hear Nephilim and you think something undeniably powerful, something huge, something more angel than human, but sometimes they're a scared kid who likes cheeseburgers."

"Am I the first you've met?" Castiel asked. He didn't even understand what "Nephilim" meant.

"The first child. The others, and believe me, there were only two, well, their grace had taken over. They were mostly angel. You're more human than angel right now, although that is changing, especially if you can already kill demons. But God, you're a kid, you're so young, so innocent." Gabriel actually looked pained as he said that.

"Why do you look like that?" Castiel asked, pointing at him. "My mother said you were beautiful."

"What? This isn't beautiful?" Gabriel said, smirking a little bit, skimming his hands over his chest. "This is a meat suit. A vessel, if you want to be accurate. I've been wearing him for about 300 years now and he's like home. Hell, the dude whose body this was? I let his soul die in 1925, so I guess this body is as close to home as I'll ever get."

"Why can't I see what you really look like?" He asked bluntly.

"There's a good chance it'd kill you. Your mom is special, kid, she can see us in our true form. I don't know about you though and I don't want to risk it. The real me, well, remember that vial? Think about 2000 feet of that, but burning, glowing, white. Think wings the size of this building. Lots of wings. Think of wavelengths of grace, pure grace. That's the real me." Gabriel said. He didn't say it in a conceited way. He was matter of fact and this made him even more terrifying.

"Jesus." Castiel muttered. "So that misty stuff in that vial, that was grace? That was you?"

Gabriel just nodded a bit. "That's you too, although not as extreme."

"Is this not really me?" Castiel said. He felt slightly horrified. He couldn't imagine not having this body, the one he'd grown up in, the one that he knew so well.

"No, that's you, narrow shoulders, blue eyes, wings, and all. That body is yours. You have grace inside of you though, as well as a human soul. You're very special, Castiel. Now tell me, what happened at home? Why did Christina banish you?"

Castiel ignored the comment about wings. He didn't know why Gabriel kept referencing them. He didn't have wings.

"A demon came to my house. It said that it sensed me. It said it wanted me. It killed Anna before we got there and then it tried to kill my mom. I killed it first." Castiel said grimly. He'd reduced the story down to its simplest bits. He never wanted to think about it again.

"Did you burn it out of its body?" Gabriel asked cautiously.

"Yes, with this white light. I'd never seen it before. Not until today. I was scared and angry and that's when it came out. My mom… she said she never wanted me and that I couldn't come home. She sent me away by smearing blood on the wall and touching it."

"Goddamnit, Christina." Gabriel swore. "I'm sorry kid, I taught her banishing sigils so she could send other angels away. Not send you away."

"She banished me?" Castiel asked in a tiny voice.

Gabriel's face softened. "I'm sorry, Castiel."

Castiel didn't respond. The fact that his mother had, quite literally, banished him, to the other side of the globe, hurt more than he could say. He'd always suspected that his mother didn't really want him, that she saw something off about him. She'd always been cold toward him, while treating Anna and Benny, her stepchildren, with a sense of warmth and kindness that had made him extremely jealous. When they'd joined the Milton household, it appeared that Tina was getting the family she always wanted. Castiel had always wondered why she had treated him the way she did. Now he understood.

"Can you bring Anna back?" He asked, blinking back tears. "She died because of me."

"It wasn't your fault. I should have… protected you from demons like I did from angels. I never dreamed they'd sense your grace. I thought the warding I put on you and your mother was strong enough. As for your sister, I'll… see what I can do."

"Why would you protect me from angels? Aren't they good?" Castiel felt very small, very alone. Having angels watching over him suddenly sounded very nice.

"No. Castiel, they're not. They're not evil, not intrinsically, but most of them don't have emotions. Angels don't have free will. They do whatever they're told, following orders, even if the orders are cruel and unjust. There's a reason I left." Gabriel said. His voice was soft, as if he was trying to pad the truth, make it easier for his son to hear. All traces of his sarcastic demeanor had faded.

"Would they kill me?" He asked.

Gabriel didn't say anything and Castiel knew the answer. He remembered the demon Balzac's words, how he'd called him an "abomination that even God would smite." Gabriel himself had said he might be "one of a kind." He was the product of an interspecies coupling, an immortal, possibly all-powerful being mating with a weak human woman with selfish desires. Clearly, a being like him wasn't natural. He wasn't meant to exist and now he was alone in the world.

While Castiel felt guilty about everything that had happened, he knew it wasn't his fault. Being alone wasn't his doing and it was never what he had wanted. He hadn't asked for his mother to fuck an angel. That was actually the most sinful thing he could think of a human doing. He hadn't asked to be born. He hadn't even known what he was until four hours ago.

He thought about this in silence for a few minutes, while Gabriel watched him. Like everyone else, Gabriel was staring at him like he was some kind of exhibit at a zoo. This is when Castiel began to get angry.

"Why then? Why would she have me? Why would you let me live? My mom obviously hates me and you weren't around until now. My sister is dead because of me. Why not let the other angels kill me? Maybe they're right. Maybe the demon was right. Maybe I am an atrocity!" He yelled.

Gabriel looked up at the ceiling. The lights in the apartment were flickering and the enormous chandelier above them was rattling.

"Calm down, Castiel." Gabriel said, trying to keep his voice soothing. "Come on, kid, rein it in, you don't need to get so angry."

"This is your fault! Her fault! I never ever asked to be born. I didn't want to be a freak!" He screamed at Gabriel.

The lights exploded. Castiel felt the ringing start again in his ears. Gabriel's eyes widened. The window in the dining room shattered. Suddenly, Castiel was angry, so angry that he was no longer scared of Gabriel or demons or the other angels. He hoped he was making a ruckus and that some "angel" would pop out and kill him. The ringing in his ears grew louder. The chandelier's glass bulbs shattered, the room began to quake and Gabriel actually looked momentarily terrified. The last thing Castiel saw was the angel reaching forward and touching him on the forehead. After that, it was nothing but darkness, swallowing him whole.