Fandom: Gravity Falls

A/N: This was going to be a fic where Dipper goes to a bar hosting a burlesque show and finds out about another one of Mabel's many hobbies. Then he gets drunk later at the bar to forget.

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The bar was too loud and bright for Dipper's tastes. The last time he was at a bar was when he turned twenty one and went bar hopping with Mabel on a party bus with holes in the floorboards. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the holes in the bus was the only thing he remembered that night.

It wasn't that Dipper didn't drink, it was that he normally did so in the comfort of his own home (sometimes a friend's) while watching a Duck-Tective marathon or reading a thick seven hundred page mystery novel. He didn't like crowds and if it wasn't for his friend he would be at home on a Saturday night doing one of those things.

No, a typical Saturday for Dipper certainly wasn't in a bar, waiting for a burlesque show to start. His friend said they were sometimes "fashionably late."

"That's still late."

He checked the time on his phone, then his FaceHook messages. Somewhere along the way of browsing the social network he came across a picture of a two year old shoving crayons up his nose. Dipper cracked a smile, no matter how many times he saw the picture.

"You definitely take after your mom, Al." He skimmed the comments in the sidebar, missing his nephew. On the second Saturday of every month he babysat him while Mabel went out, tonight was one of those nights but when Mabel overheard his friend inviting him out she insisted that Dipper go with him instead.

"I'll find a fill-in babysitter, don't worry." She reassured. Dipper had glared, Mabel knew Dipper didn't like big crowds but the meddler in her thought he needed to get over that and make new friends.

"I'm starting to get worried." She said. "I was searching your computer, Dip. . ."

Dipper had turned white at that, remembering his search history.

". . .and I found a half finished erotic Duck-Tective fanfic."

While Dipper was still mortified she found that, he was relieved it wasn't something else. He mentally reminded himself to always wipe his internet history. He never thought he would have to resort to that now that they lived in separate houses.