Hey everyone- I just realized that throughout this story, at least in the last two chapters, there has been an issue with the formatting, at least on Google Chrome. This story is meant to go back and forth between Dean and Castiel's perspectives, but it's not super clear without the line breaks. From now on, I will note the change in perspective with a line from FF's HTML editor—sorry about that! I honestly wish that FF's editor wasn't so shitty, another reason I'm crossposting to Ao3, so I'm not going to go back and try to fix the other chapters.
Once again, thanks for reading—sorry for the erratic updates, I've just been super busy with summer fun and work. As usual, reviews are the writer's life blood.
As soon as he landed in the living room of his current home, Castiel immediately felt suffocated. He was hiding in plain sight from hunters and demons by pretending to be a human man with a boring desk job and a small house in the suburbs. His house was incredibly mundane, with low ceilings, beige furniture, and small rooms. He'd picked it because it looked like the kind of house the Milton family would have occupied. He couldn't even unleash his wings or his grace in this house without knocking something over. The house was tethering him to a life he no longer wanted, just like the Milton family, had kept him tethered to a false identity for 14 years.
Castiel longed to fly, to feel ocean air on his face as he swooped over open waters somewhere off the coast of Timbuktu. He needed to wander to earth; the beautiful earth that had become so open to him once he'd discovered who he really was. He needed to fight and he needed kill, he missed the enormous power that he harnessed every time he burned the life out of a demon. Castiel wasn't a man—he was a hunter, a wanderer, partly an angel—and he was not cut out for this kind of life. He couldn't believe there was a time where he craved normality. Just pretending to be normal was killing him. Just being in this house was killing him.
Castiel considered what was happening to him. His situation felt rather precarious simply because of Gabriel's warnings, but in reality, it was quite dull. He was almost thankful to Dean Winchester for adding some drama to it. Gabriel had seemed hyperaware of the hunter, even though they usually laughed at them. He didn't know what was so special about this one. Castiel felt ridiculous for how he'd reacted a few minutes ago, before he'd flown home. He knew he was being arrogant, but he felt that getting worked up over a human was simply absurd.
So what if Dean Winchester was watching him? Castiel wasn't a demon and was no threat to Dean Winchester and the humans that hunters held so dear. He'd fought for years to protect humans, saving them from demons, even convincing Gabriel to choose less deadly ways to act out his role as "the Trickster." Castiel had never even killed a human that wasn't possessed. Still, if Gabriel was worried… he knew he should be worried too. It nagged at him though. Gabriel never got worried and Castiel had no idea what had changed. He was obeying without question, stuck in this human life, because he was doing what Gabriel thought was best.
On cue, Gabriel swooped in. The angel visibly grimaced when he looked around Castiel's living room. His father wasn't used to being contained either. Gabriel stared at him for a minute and then just shook his head in disappointment.
"So I gather from the whirlwind in your head that he's been watching you? He saw you at a peep show? You didn't even notice that you had a tail? Also, going to a peep show in the middle of the day? Come on, Cas, I taught you better than that, in both respects." He said, looking disgusted.
"I was bored! You ALWAYS go to strip clubs." He protested. Castiel didn't say anything else. He could explain the peep show. He couldn't explain why he hadn't noticed that he had a tail.
"I've said it over and over again, you've gotten too cocky." Gabriel said. "That's my fault, because hell, I'm sure you learned it from me, but kid, you aren't me. You've been alive for 26 years. You're an infant. You can't be this presumptuous when you're an infant."
Castiel hung his head. Despite being annoyed with his situation and thus, Gabriel, he was embarrassed. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed that hunters were watching him. After years of being with Gabriel, who was the best liar in the universe, he'd become convinced that he was second best. His cover was good, but it wasn't that good. It seemed his reaction to the hunters following him wasn't a result of fear, but embarrassment. The Winchester brothers had gotten the best of him.
Gabriel read his mind, even though Castiel had told him repeatedly not to, and he eased up. "Don't beat yourself up too much, kid. The Winchesters… just don't piss them off, and you should be fine. I did some quick reconnaissance and found out they're here because of a Jinn attack. Chances are they think you're a Jinn."
Castiel snorted. "Me? A Jinn? Gabriel, that's insulting."
"There's that cockiness again, Cas!" Gabriel leaned forward and poked him above his right eye. "Those big baby blues of yours? That's why they'd think you're a Jinn. The way those suckers glow, it's awfully Jinn-like."
Castiel bit his lip and just looked away.
"Have you gotten unreasonably pissed off recently? I know how you operate. When you throw a hissy fit, your grace glows like a beacon." Gabriel said. His voice was condescending. He considered Castiel's temper tantrums and emotions to be an enormous weakness. Castiel didn't say it out loud, but he did too.
"I almost got into a bar fight, last weekend." Castiel muttered. "I didn't hurt anyone, but I might have… well, I might have made a lamp explode. I didn't notice the eyes."
Gabriel looked outraged. "A bar fight? You got into a bar fight? Jesus Castiel, you're not supposed to be feeling emotions this strongly anymore! Not to mention, unintentionally using your powers in public? What, are you 16 again?"
"Humans get into bar fights all of the time." He griped. "I was… well, he insulted me. I was drinking. Occasionally my emotions get the best of me when I'm intoxicated. I'm sorry."
"You're acting like a child!" Gabriel screamed. "An immature child! You are not invincible, you stupid moron! You don't lose control like that after 10 years of training! You shouldn't feel things this intensely after this many years!"
Castiel cringed. He heard just a hint of Gabriel's true voice and it hurt his ears. Gabriel was currently standing over him and although Castiel had about 4 inches on his human vessel, the angel looked like he was 20 feet tall. Castiel's human heart was leaping around in his chest. Gabriel rarely got angry, but when he did it was terrifying. Castiel remembered when he was 17 and he'd let his wings out in order to impress a particularly attractive human and Gabriel had caught him. He'd screamed so loudly at Castiel in his true voice that his ear drums had literally exploded. The pain had been almost unbearable. Luckily, they'd healed after an hour or so.
"Why didn't you notice the hunters were after you?" Gabriel demanded. "How could you miss that?"
"I thought they were normal guys. I don't know, he doesn't look like a hunter. I didn't notice them." Castiel said, rubbing the back of his neck. He considered the way Dean Winchester looked, and he was actually surprised he hadn't noticed him.
Gabriel stared at him with such rage in his eyes and then his face softened when he saw the fear on Castiel's face. Gabriel wasn't a normal father, but Castiel knew he cared, probably more than he'd ever admit.
Gabriel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I know this is hard for you. I taught you for years to live as I did, and now I expect you to live as a human. It's no wonder you're fucking up so much. It's not the norm. I know it's not fair, Castiel. But it's what you have to do."
"Why? What is so bad about some extra demons? I should be out there killing them, not stuck in this house, in this boring life." Castiel huffed.
"Lilith is the reason you are here. Until Lilith is eliminated or sent back to Hell, I have to keep you here. As a human, you will go unnoticed, and that is what is safest." Gabriel said.
"Why don't we just kill her then?" Castiel demanded.
"She's hidden from us and even if we did find her, I'm not sure we could kill her." Gabriel said. He looked a little embarrassed to be saying this out loud.
Castiel felt his heart leap again, but this time it was at the thought of a demon he couldn't kill, not Gabriel's wrath. He moved the conversation back to its original subject. "So what does Dean Winchester have to do with Lilith or a bunch of demons getting loose? He's just a man. They're just hunters."
"Sam Winchester is why they are important, although I'm still not totally sure what they want with him." Gabriel admitted. "He was supposed to open the Devil's Gate, but I think that was just the beginning. Azazel wanted him and children like him for a reason. Something huge is going to happen."
"Azazel is dead. Maybe the demons are just doing whatever they want. Fancy free, escaped from Hell and all." Castiel suggested.
Castiel didn't say it out loud, but even for demons, that seemed like a flimsy plan. Yet, if their leader was dead, maybe the demons were doing what they did best, and that was killing, maiming and possessing. Being loose on earth was probably like a party to them.
"Demons are murderous creatures who regale in torture and death, but they aren't stupid. There is a reason they're out. There's a reason Lilith is out. Something is going to happen and you are staying out of it."
"Why? We can kill them. If there's a battle with demons, you know that I could help. We could both help."
"That isn't what we do! We stay out of it. You will stay out of it." Gabriel said, his voice rising.
"I hunted demons for four years!" Castiel protested. "I'm good at it."
"That was before they had a plan! You needed a hobby, so I let you have one." Gabriel spat.
"But…" He started. "We could help…"
"Are you deaf? I told you, we aren't getting involved! Castiel, you prove to me again and again, how naïve you are. If you become involved in this, you will die! We don't know what's coming and I am trying to keep you safe. Stay away from the Winchesters and stay out of it! If you don't, I will be forced to act." Gabriel snapped.
Before Castiel could respond, Gabriel disappeared in a flutter of wings.
When he left, Castiel thought about how strangely Gabriel was acting. It was the second time that day he'd seen the angel get angry. Gabriel was a creature who enjoyed luxury, pranks, and causing minor mayhem. He'd gotten his kicks for years that way. He never got emotional over what humans or demons were doing because he simply didn't care. Gabriel lived his life in the pursuit of leisure and entertainment. He was usually jovial and carefree. Unless Castiel was doing something really stupid, he pretty much let him do whatever he wanted. In the last four months, that had changed. Since the Devil's Gate had been opened, Gabriel had become more intense and more invested in what was happening with the humans and demons. Ironically, this was manifested in trying to keep himself and Castiel not involved.
The two of them had always lived on the fringe, popping in and involving themselves in the affairs of monsters and men, but only if it pleased them. Gabriel killed demons for kicks and he occasionally spurred hunters into action by orchestrating bizarre disasters or kills on deserving humans. He did this for fun. He'd seemingly been proud when Castiel had left and started living his own life, killing demons and living it up in foreign countries. Gabriel had encouraged this lifestyle and often joked that his half human son wasn't violent enough.
Something had changed for Gabriel. This meant that Castiel's life had been changed too. The angel was so insistent that they stay out of it, that Castiel act "normal", that Castiel was sure there as something his father wasn't telling him. He trusted Gabriel to keep him alive, but Castiel couldn't stand that his father was lying to him and making proclamations about hunters and demons that he didn't back up.
Castiel didn't understand Gabriel's fear of Lilith or the onset of demons on earth. He certainly didn't understand why Gabriel thought the demons might kill him. He didn't know of anything that could kill Gabriel, so he saw the angel as invincible. There were a few spells that could kill Nephilim, but otherwise, now that he was an adult with more grace than humanity on his side, Castiel felt the same way about himself. He knew that was arrogant, but Gabriel had convinced him that was true. All of Castiel's cockiness came from his father.
Despite this, after years of living life however they had wanted because they had grace on their side, Gabriel was singing a different tune. He had uprooted Castiel's entire life for the second time, forcing him back into the shell of human existence.
He hadn't even considered it until now, because it didn't seem possible, but Gabriel wouldn't do this unless he was terrified. Gabriel was scared and he wasn't telling Castiel why. The angel didn't get scared. The angel didn't make Castiel stay away from demons and he especially didn't make him stay away from hunters. He didn't force Castiel to hide among a bunch of meat suits and he certainly didn't show any fear for his son's life.
Just hours ago, he'd been determined to stay away from the hunters simply because Gabriel had told him to, but now he was sure there was something larger at stake and sure that Gabriel was lying to him, Castiel decided to do just the opposite. Somehow Dean Winchester and his brother were involved in a way that went beyond the Devil's Gate. Castiel was a good son and he tried his best to obey Gabriel, but right now, he couldn't.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the hunter's number. Let Gabriel act. Castiel was kind of curious to see what he'd do anyway.