Meredith was sleeping when she felt the nurse taking her vitals. "Good morning. I'm Tonya Gooden, your nurse this morning. Dr. Wilkins will be in a minute. And I'll bring your baby in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

A few minutes later the doctor and three interns arrived. "Good morning, Meredith," said a doctor. She was an older woman, with greying hair. Meredith frowned when she heard her first name; she preferred Dr. Grey when she was in a hospital, but she called her patients by their first names so she really couldn't complain. "I'm Dr. Wilkins. I was your surgeon yesterday."

"Thank you for everything you did."

"We're having rounds, so the interns are going to present your case."

"I know. I'm a surgeon myself."

The first intern was Asian, with long black hair running down her back. The interns did not introduce themselves. Meredith remembered the numerous times when she was an intern and then a resident that she had not introduced herself to a patient. She vowed to do better when she returned to practicing medicine. But she decided to let it go rather than try to teach the interns herself. "Patient had a placental abruption followed by an emergency C-section. The baby is fine; she had perfect Apgars. We were able to save the mother's uterus, and she is doing well. We need to watch out for any infections, but we should be able to discharge her in two or three days."

"I'd like to go home tomorrow," announced Meredith.

"We would prefer to observe you for another two days," responded Dr. Wilkins. "You just had major abdominal surgery. You were very lucky we were able to save your uterus. I would recommend that you wait at least twelve months before having another pregnancy. You can have a safe pregnancy, but you are at great risk for another abruption."

Meredith was in shock at the thought of another pregnancy. "Don't worry, I'm not having any more children."

The doctor laughed. "Lots of mothers say that, but they often change their mind."

Meredith frowned. "You don't understand. I just had a third child."

"The chart indicates that you had just two pregnancies," said another intern.

"My oldest daughter is adopted."

"You may change your mind in a couple of years," cautioned Dr. Wilkins. "Lots of moms do."

"You really don't understand." Meredith decided to tell the doctor the truth. "My husband, the love of my life, is dead. There's no way I'm having any more children." The doctor and the interns immediately became silent.

Dr. Wilkins then said, "I'm very sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do for you?"

Meredith nodded at the doctor's expression of sympathy. She hated the stock expressions of sympathy, but she had given many herself. "You can discharge me tomorrow. My emergency contact is a pediatric surgeon, and he's staying until Saturday, and then my friend Callie is coming, and she's an orthopedic surgeon. And I think I'm going to have mother-in-law come on Sunday. She was a navy nurse for more than twenty years, so we'll get good medical care."

Then the nurse came in with the baby in a bassinet. "Here's your daughter. She slept well, but I think she's going to want to eat soon."

Meredith smiled as she looked at her daughter. Dr. Wilkins and the interns also looked at the baby. The bassinette bore her name, Ellis Alexandria Shepherd.

Dr. Wilkins looked at Meredith. "Your husband was Dr. Derek Shepherd, right?"

Meredith frowned. She much preferred to be anonymous, but she couldn't deny the truth. "Yes."

"His death was a terrible loss."

"I know," Meredith said softly.

"For medicine as well as for your family."

"I know. I worked with him."

"Right. I met him a couple of times at conferences. He was very impressive. And gorgeous." Dr. Wilkins smiled. "I knew he was taken, so I left him alone."

Meredith stared at the doctor, who met her eyes and decided to explain, "This was a long time ago, when he was married to Addison Montgomery Shepherd and went to cocktail parties at ACOG conferences when they were held in New York."

"Addie was here last night to visit," Meredith commented.

Dr. Wilkins looked stunned; apparently she was taken aback at the friendly relationship between the two wives of Derek Shepherd. "Give her my regards if you see her again."

"I will." Meredith smiled as she thought about her husband's good looks and the impression they made on women.

"Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

"Just discharge me tomorrow."

"How about we touch base tomorrow, and if all goes well and you still want to be discharged, we may be able to do that."

"Good. Thank you." Meredith watched the doctor and the interns leave. She knew that, if this hospital was anything like Grey Sloan, that within five minutes everyone on staff at the hospital would know she was Derek Shepherd's widow.

The nurse turned to her, and asked, "Would you like to hold the baby?"

"Yes, please give her to me."

And the nurse placed the baby in her arms. "Call me if you need any help."

"I will. We'll be fine together." Meredith smiled and looked at her baby, who was starting to root around to start feeding. The nurse left, and Meredith began nursing the baby. She started murmuring to the baby. "This time I know what I'm doing. So I'll help you. It's a lot easier when the mommy has experience. The baby never does." Ellis started nursing.

Meredith continued. "So why did I name you Ellis? What was I thinking? Shepherd is not an unusual name, but it does seem like people in the medical field know your daddy. And I had to give you his last name. I know it's hard to have a great doctor as a parent. My mommy was a great doctor. Grey's a common name, but a lot of people guessed or knew she was my mom. So being identified as Derek Shepherd's daughter is going to be hard enough, so why did I name you after my mom?"

Meredith thought for a moment. "I was on pain medication after the C-section, so we could blame it on drugs. But really, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my mom. We have a lot in common, strangely enough. I left my family in Seattle, just like my mom did when she had your aunt Maggie. She kept her pregnancy secret because in the old days having a baby out of wedlock was scandalous, and Maggie was obviously not my father's daughter. The scandal would have hurt both my mom and Richard. My reasons were different, and I always knew I was going to keep you. I loved you starting the minute I thought I might be pregnant. I loved your daddy so much, sweetie, and he loved me. And he wanted you so much. I just couldn't bear staying in Seattle and being pitied for being pregnant when my husband was dead."

She switched the baby to the other breast. "So what do you think I should do, Ellie? Should we go back to Seattle or stay here, where it's sunny? Would you like rain? I could take you on ferryboat rides in Seattle. Would you like that?" She looked at the baby's eyes, and she smiled. "I don't even know if you can focus yet. But I think you'd like to go on a ferryboat ride with Zola and Bailey. You know I didn't have sisters until I was a grown up, so I don't know much about siblings in childhood. I would have depended on your daddy. He was one of five, a big family. But maybe Aunt Amy will help me."

Meredith frowned as she thought about her sister-in-law. Somehow her relationship with Amelia was fraught. And for the last nine months, since Derek died, she kept thinking of Amelia's words to her: "You have never lost the love of your life. You don't know how that messes you up. Till you've done that I need you to cut me some slack and back the hell off." She knew Amelia hadn't wanted anything bad to happen to Derek, and she knew there was no causal relationship between Amelia's remarks and Derek's death, but still she had felt uncomfortable with her sister-in-law. But she had depended so much on Amelia's help with the kids since she had arrived in Seattle, and the kids adored her. She would have to make peace with Amelia if she did return to Seattle.

"I guess your Aunt Amy will adore you. She's great with kids. And you look so much like your Daddy. No matter what she thinks of me, she will love you so much. I think we'll go home to Seattle, sweetie. Everyone is going to adore you. And everyone will be happy that I have you. I am so thrilled to have you. I just wish your daddy were here to see you. But maybe your grandma is right, and he can see you from heaven. Do you like to think that?" Ellis gurgled. "Yes, you like to think about your daddy in heaven. So do I."