Chapter 5: This Is Where I'm From

AN1: I know what you must be thinking… Waaaaah? This isn't the weekend!? I know, I know, this is soooo much earlier than I thought, I just got such a rush writing this chapter that I couldn't stop! You guys really inspired me! It's actually a little bit longer than any of the other chapters, believe it or not. Also, sorry to the Guest who asked me to write this in 3rd person but a point of view in a story is chosen be the writer for a reason, it is my artistic choice to have it in first person. I hope you like it and don't forget to R&R!

-GNS-

"So who took him, and what made you show up here?" John asks, pacing from one end of the room to the other. Dean is sitting silently in the corner, eyes wide and intent. "A demon?" I shake my head, a demon couldn't do this, but I can't explain that to my trigger happy father. I can't tell him that this is freaking time travel that we're dealing with and some punk demon couldn't pull that. "What then?" He stops abruptly and spins so he's facing me.

"Something with power, a lot of power," I sigh, shrugging my shoulders.

"Something with more power than a demon?" Dad lets out a bitter laugh, "I hate to burst your bubble, but that ain't much." Dean is looking at me like I'm crazy for suggesting such a thing and I try not to crack a smile. They still think demons are a big hunt, that's hilarious.

"You don't know what all is out there," I explain, "It's more likely that it's an angel or hell, a God," I'm cut off before I can continue.

"An angel?" John starts, "you've got to be kidding me. There's no such thing." The tension in the room is so high I can feel it by the way the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"There is, and I'm going to find the nearest library to do some research to help you find your son." I say, stepping closer to him, "I'm not going to stand here all day arguing with you about what is real and what isn't." I make a move to brush past him when he speaks again.

"How do we know you aren't trying to throw us off track?" John wonders, sticking an accusing finger in my direction. Dean's head tilts to the side as if weighing the information. "How do we know that you aren't working for the demon that did this? I bet he sent you here so that we would trust you, think that you were just as much as a victim in this as any of us, and we'd lose him forever, huh?"

"You won't lose him," I growl, eyes going dark, "you won't lose him because he's safe right now and a demon didn't do this!" I'm right in front of him now, glaring down at him. Dean looks as if any second he'd be springing to his toes to break up the soon to be fight. My fingers twitch as I try to hold back the punches I'm aching to throw.

"Seems like you know a hell of a lot about demons for somebody who isn't working with one." My father says casually, letting the words roll of his tongue. Suddenly I'm fifteen all over again, too quick a temper and too darn stubborn for my own good. I lash out at him with words that could chill the spine of even the hardest man.

"Oh I do." I whisper. Somewhere along the way my hair had fallen into my eyes, and I was currently looking through the strands, the reflection in them holding hell fire. I'm well aware of how sinister I must look. "I know more than anyone should know about demons." I take a step forward, he takes a step back. "I know what their blood tastes like," another step forward, another step back. "I know what it's like to have one look out of my own eyes and do despicable things to people I care about," another step forward, another step back. "I know what it's like to be tainted with the same filth that flows through their veins," another step forward, another step back. Dean is up on his feet, trying without success to pull me away from John. I have him up against the wall now, forearm across his throat to hold him to it. "You said I looked like I was two-hundred," I mention, staring deep into his fear filled eyes, "you wanna know why?" A wicked grin starts to form on my face, my mouth curling upwards at the edges. I don't give him the chance to answer.

"I burned."

It almost feels as if the air has been sucked out of the room.

"I let the devil himself possess me, wear me to the damn prom like some cheap dress and then I sent his ass back to Hell. Only problem, I went tumbling with him." Dean has let go of me now and is listening, his mouth in a surprised 'o'. "Nearly two-hundred years of his torture. Knives digging into bone, skin fried extra crispy."

I rip my arm away from him now, and walk to the other end of the room. He's sagging against the wall taking deep, agonizing breaths as I continue.

"He was cold. Everybody thinks the devil burns hot, but it's cold. So, so cold." I mumble with my back to them. "He knew, and he would joke, ask if I wanted to be warmed up," I let out a miserable chuckle from deep in my chest, "and then he'd light a fire underneath me." I can hear Dean drop onto one of the beds behind me, but I don't stop. "The worst part is, when I finally did get out, the bastard never left me alone. I was scarred past repair and I would see him, everywhere. Then finally, finally I'm free of him and—" I cut off for a moment, reminding myself not to let slip about Dean, or purgatory. "He should have known I was already broken enough!" I scream, "He should have known that he was my God damned 'stone number one' and with him gone I could barely stand not to mention hunt. Doesn't he get it?" I question, facing my father and Dean, both looking at me with a mix of pity, confusion, and worry. "Doesn't he get that I thought he was dead? I thought he would be happy! He should have been happy, so damn glad that he didn't have to look out for his pain in the ass little brother anymore!"

My whole body is shaking and my hands are balled into tight fists. The room is silent. It comes to me in a flash what I've said, what I've revealed, and I'm crumpling down to the floor. They'll know. They'll know what a disappointment, what a failure, what a monster I've become and they'll resent me for that. They'll hate me for what I turned their little Sammy into. It's then that I realize I'm crying.

"Who…" Dean murmurs, breaking the silence as he sinks down next to me, "who are you?"

-GNS-

AN2: Wow guys, sorry for that ending I know you must be dying! The next chapter should hopefully be out by the weekend, if not, as late as Monday. You guys are really amazing and I can't thank you enough for what you've done. Also, a special thanks to those who reviewed chapter 4 including Nicole, Sara B. Catlover2976, missy Winchester, fanfic 1892, Guest, and C. I love hearing from you and it really does inspire me to write more! :)