Note: go listen to Faber Drive's You and I Tonight while reading this...it will help a lot. :)
xx
*three weeks earlier*
"Well boys," Paul announced," You'll be able to actually have some free time today 'cause the radio station flooded or had some rat infestation." It's sadly typical that no one really cares about what happens to what happened to any place where we're supposed to have an interview.
"Yay!" Niall exclaimed," I'm gonna get some sleep." And he literally went straight to his room that he shared with Harry. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that he wasn't lying about that. Poor guy, touring really tired us all out but Niall was the most affected by it.
The rest of us dispersed into what we'd usually do on our few days off. Liam headed down to have a twit-cam and Harry went to go and work on one of his songs for the new album. We've been working our bums off this summer and we deserved a break, even though it would only last a day.
"So Malik," Louis asked," Where are you going?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. Probably going to finally beat Liam in Call-of-Duty, I might go to sleep, or eat. I don't really care."
His face lighted with excitement," Hey do you want to go shopping? I mean, it's been a while since I've been in an actual shop and not have a huge mob surround me." I grinned. Louis was probably one of the most avid shoppers I knew, and that's including girls.
"Sure why not, but I doubt Paul would let us go…" I trailed off thinking about how protective they were of us. "You know how they are."
Louis smirked," You my friend, have yet to master the art of persuasion. Wait for about five minutes and we'll be in the van." Surprisingly he was right, Paul reluctantly agreed to most of Louis's argument. As long as we wore some weird computer chips in our beanies and if we wore 'disguises', the mall was ours to explore.
Once in the van, he didn't hesitate to say 'I told you so'. I just shook my head. Louis could be a bit annoying at times.
"Well," he retorted," I just have to get these new shoes that Armani just released, maybe I could wear them to the red carpet sometime soon. Do we have a red carpet event sometime soon?"
I absentmindedly stared out the window as Louis rambled on about all the stuff he would buy if we had the room to fit everything in our bags. Then the first notes of an acoustic guitar caught my attention. I held my breath as the first few lyrics danced out of the stereo.
Tonight, a candle lights the room
Tonight, it's only me and you
Your skin, like gravity
Is pulling every part of me
I fall, you and I collide
I bit my lip. I never realized how much I missed Perrie. I could faintly remember how she smelt like, how she laughed at one of my corny jokes… I closed my eyes. I never realized how much I would give up nearly anything to be with her right now, to live with the content of knowing that no one would ever want to love her more than I do.
What if I stay forever?
What if there's no goodbye?
Frozen for a moment here in time, yeah.
I closed my eyes and tried to think what Perrie was doing right now. Probably at a concert getting ready…I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if we were just a normal couple. To live out of the spotlight and to not care about what others thought of us- now that was an idealistic world. I want to make sure that she was mine. I had to make sure of that. There was no 'if' about it. I just…had to.
If you tell me the sky is falling,
Or say that the stars collide,
The only thing that matters in my life,
Is you and I tonight
"Hey Zayn," Louis said impatiently," Did you not hear me?"
I quickly shook my head, did I accidentally zone out on him? "Umm…no, sorry 'bout that Tommo." I murmured," Can you say that again?"
He sighed," I swear sometimes, I don't know if you're daydreaming or just plain dense."
"I'm not dense. I just have selective-hearing." I shot back.
He rolled his eyes," I was saying that maybe you should help me pick something out for Eleanor…lately the fans have been hard on her and-"
I patted his shoulder," Don't worry Tommo, I got your back."
Once the van stopped, Paul nervously said," Ok, guys…if you get mobbed or recognized just say that you look a lot like yourselves. I personally don't want to deal with any paperwork and let alone deal with Katie right now." We earnestly agreed. No one liked Katie, our manager who was basically our babysitter of our babysitter, Paul.
When we got inside I felt completely free…except for the fact that we both wore chips in our sweatshirts and that management could tap into the security cameras if they really wanted to. Louis made a mad dash towards the men's shoe wear when I decided to browse the 'young men's' section. I mindlessly flipped through the racks of graphic tees and hoodies that I knew I would never wear if I bought them. I was never really a shopper to be honest. I guess I never found the appeal for any of it. I remember that my mum would always drag me to shops for school. I shook my head at that memory…since then I've been shopping more with Louis than with my mum because of touring.
"Zayn!" Louis nearly screamed from the other side of the shop. "What do you think!?" He proudly thrust a pair of shoes in my face. I didn't know what to say about the actual shoes but I knew how to manipulate him to leave the store.
"Hmm…yep, they look fabulous." I commented.
His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree in a December night. "I know right, and they're 'buy one get the second one half off'! You have to help me get another pair."
I groaned; this didn't go out to plan. After about another half hour and two salesladies getting mad at him for trying to get the best deal he could possibly get (which is rather ironic, him being in one of the most famous boy-bands yet he couldn't weasel his way to get three pairs of shoes), we were wandering again with Louis balancing three bags.
"I can't believe that lady almost kicked me out." He fumed," I mean, why would she kick me, Louis fucking Tomlinson, out of a shop?"
I sighed," Because no one can know that you are Louis…remember that huge lecture that Paul gave us."
"Right, right." He mumbled and turned his head, his eyes soon fell upon another shop. I had to turn to see what he was looking at. It was called 'Forever Jewels' and was a rather quaint jewelry shop that I knew Perrie would absolutely adore.
"Hey, can we stop there real fast? Maybe I can get something for El, you know how she goes through fits of missing me…right?" He explained.
"Yeah, sure…why not?" I replied as we went in. The store inside was very homely and less provoking than most jewelry stores that had scary professionals that try to force you to buy something. This one seemed warm and inviting. It could easily be mistaken for a generic café if there weren't any glass boxes filled with necklaces and rings.
"Can I help you two sirs today?" a posh voice echoed from the back of the room. The door creaked open and a young sales lady stepped out. She walked to us and gave us brisk smile. She was probably in her early twenties, a college student maybe. Hopefully she would be able to deal with Louis.
"Yes of course," Louis said," I'm looking for something for my girlfriend."
She curtly nodded. "Right this way sir." She professionally chirped and they walked off toward the other end of the showroom. I shook my head, wait till she had to deal with Louis and his shopping attitude that meant everyone else was his peasants and he was the king.
I wandered my way over to browse the display cases. They mostly contained weird hipster earrings that no one would like. I chuckled a bit when I saw a pair of bacon earrings. My eyes gazed past the earring section and landed to where the rings were kept.
I was somehow drawn over there, like something was there…waiting for me. I gazed into the dim lights and saw glittering diamonds stare back at me. I really love Perrie, and she knows it…what if I could make sure that she was mine forever? Then I couldn't worry about some other guy trying to take her heart, when she already took mine. At that moment, I knew I had to propose to Perrie.
"Umm…hi there." A voice called me, pulling me back into reality. I glanced up, another saleslady was standing behind the display case. "Would you like to check our selection out?"
"Yeah, I don't really know much about shopping." I said. I don't know how to actually pick out a ring, let alone make sure it was perfect for her…I was going to need all the help
I could get.
She smiled, like she could read my thoughts," So, what's your girl like?"
"Wait, what?" I asked.
She laughed a bit and explained," It's apparent that you're in love and looking for an engagement ring. If I knew more about her then it'd be easier to pick out a ring."
I grinned," Well, she's just…perfect. She makes me smile whenever I'm sad. She has the most amazing sense of humor. She completes me."
"She sounds amazing." She said. "Do you have anything you like so far?" Then we looked through endless amount of rings. Some were too 'glamorous' and some were just plain weird. I even saw a bacon shaped band. I sensed that she was getting a bit frustrated with me because she started having a more sarcastic tone with me than before. But I couldn't help it, I had no idea what would be perfect.
"Hey, what are you looking at?" Louis startled me and I jumped a bit. I glanced down at the numerous rings on the surface and tried to block his view.
"Erm…nothing." I mumbled. He lowered his sunglasses and gave me a very sarcastic look.
He scoffed," I know you're looking for something-" Then his mouth fell open when he saw all the rings. "Shit, Zayn….you're finally proposing!"
"Well, he would be able to propose if he finally chooses a ring." The saleslady sarcastically remarked through her teeth.
He laughed a bit. "Here, let me help. Zayn, let the master help. You don't want anything too flashy or homely."
He looked through the glass, examining every single detail. It took a while but after a bit of searching, he eventually found the one. The lady seemed relieved when she finally totaled up the price. But Louis's expression didn't change a bit since we left the store. I couldn't' read it at all. I decided not to press him on anything till we got to the van.
"You're safe!" Paul exclaimed when we got inside the vehicle. "I was about to go inside. What took you two so long?"
"Well Zayn here had a bit of a decision making process over some things…things that I'd like to talk to him privately about."
Paul instantly became a bit worried but retreated to his seat in the front. Once he closed the little window, I asked," Lou, what's up?"
He shook his head. "I can't believe it…"
"Believe what?" I grew more and more concerned as he thought about what he should say.
"I mean…you proposing to Perrie. It's a big step, I'm really happy for you, man."
"Erm….thanks. So glad that you have so much faith in my relationship with Perrie."
Louis's face softened," No…I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I didn't realize how much we grown up since we got put together since X-Factor. When we first met you were so shy…oh, and by the way have you asked Debbie or Alex yet?"
"About asking for permission to propose to her? Well…"
Louis gasped," You have to ask them sometime soon! You have the fucking ring already!"
"Yeah, I'll get to that soon…" I murmured and felt my pocket to make sure that it was still there. I didn't know how to ask them just yet.
The rest of the boys didn't know about the ring, thank goodness. I didn't know where to hide it at first but ended up tucking it away in Perrie's beanie that I 'borrowed' for the tour. We only had a few weeks left in America, and then we'd have a much needed break till we had to go to Australia and finish the Take Me Home tour. But the last day in California involved the Teen Choice Awards, and we had to perform for them. I always hated these award shows. I mean, it wasn't like the Brits, the producers didn't even count the amount of votes. We were already informed on how many surfboards we were getting a week before it even got publicity! Basically we had to go through 24 hours of complete bull to be able to finally be back at home.
"Well, lads…" Louis started," This is finally the last of our American tour."
"I liked it," Niall interjected.
Louis rolled his eyes," Yeah, I meant by finally that we would be able to get some rest and-"
"Well you didn't say that." Harry said as he defended Niall. "Maybe you should clarify next time."
"Harry, most of the time you were sleeping or hanging out with someone." Louis protested.
I groaned. Lately we've gotten on each other nerves. "Guys," I started," I know that we're all tired and aren't really pissed at one another. Can we just try to endure the stupid award show and get out?"
"Zayn has a point." Liam said," We should probably just smile it through."
"Like every other bloody day we go through." Harry murmured.
He was right, ever since we've hit number 1 we've had to endure things normal teenagers wouldn't have to face. Like screaming girls writing fanfiction about a five-way 'adult slumber party' that we had every once in a while when we all get incredibly horny and can't stop fucking each other, that alone is scary enough. We've all been changed by fame, but it probably hit Harry the worst because of his supposed 'man-whore' relations with every girl he meets. He one of the sweetest guys I have ever met and I can't stand to read reports of rumors of things that he wouldn't dare do.
"Well we're here," Liam said, pulling me out of my daydream. The van abruptly stopped as mad flashes of light surrounded us.
The camera flashes shot at us like we were mere animals and they were the hunters, trying to trap their quarry. In the distance I saw other celebrities shy away from them, trying to not feel helpless under the public eye. I didn't feel like backing down, never again. I bravely looked straight at them. One photographer seemed to hesitate and put down his weapon. I smiled; I wasn't afraid anymore.
"So Zayn," Alex asked," Why did you want to come over and see Debbie and I?" I glanced down at my cup of tea. Alex was a bit intimidating with his I'm-such-a-bad-ass-even-though-I'm-over-forty attitude, so much for not caring about what other people thought of me. The quaint furniture didn't quite fit the atmosphere I was in.
"I wanted to talk to you guys about Perrie." I managed to say. I uneasily shifted in my seat. Alex's facial expression changed a bit, what did that mean?
Debbie smiled," What is it, dear?"
Well, I already got the ring. And what's the worst they could say is what, no? "As you already know, I absolutely adore-wait, that's not even the best word for it, I love Perrie with all my heart."
Debbie was confused. She made a face that I knew Perrie and Debbie shared when they don't know what I was talking about. "That's great Zayn, and you wanted to inform us of this because…?"
I weakly smiled," I wanted to ask for permission to propose to your daughter." I bit my lip and instantly prepared for the worst. Would they yell at me for not being 'experienced' enough, or would they just throw me out for cheating on her recently?
But Alex beamed and Debbie chuckled. "It's about time you asked, son." Alex said.
This caught me by surprise. I nearly choked on my tea but managed to mask it with a cough. "Wait-what do you mean?"
"Perrie's been really stressed because of touring and well-everything." Debbie explained," But whenever she's with you it's like all her pain has flown away. She's always smiling whenever she's near you. She really cares about you." I smiled at that last thought. I didn't know that they noticed.
"And you're not angry or anything?" I asked.
Alex scoffed," Zayn, why would we be angry? I have nothing against you, nor does Debbie. Unless of course you cheat on my little girl again, which will mean that someone's face will get punched and he would be beaten severely." He smiled at the end, making me wonder if he was joking or dead serious. I didn't know what to say to that, it completely hit me off guard.
"So do you have the ring?" Debbie asked trying to avert the conversation.
"I do," I replied and reached into my pocket. My fingers found its box and soon diamonds glittered in the room. Debbie whipped a tear from her face. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"I'm just happy that she's in love with you." She clarified.
"I am too."
Paul was the one to drop me off at my house. Everyone else but Liam could drive themselves, so at least I wasn't the only one who was dependent on him to drive me everywhere. The outskirts of London flew past my window. It was good to be home.
When we got to the house, I couldn't believe it. I was finally going to have some alone time with Perrie. Not that the sparse weeks of free time that we had over the tour wasn't good enough. But it was a luxury to wake up in the morning and not have to leave for work a plane flight away, and I wouldn't be able to fly to London as often when we go touring in Australia. That would be hard to face, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I could faintly see Perrie's outline through our window. She seemed like she was playing with Hatchi and his toy. I smiled. Sometimes I think that she might love him more than me. Once she saw the van stop she immediately started running out the door. Hatchi followed suit. I carefully got out only to be crashed into by her. She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled against my chest. "Zayn, I missed you so much!" she murmured.
"I missed you more." I replied and lifted her chin and gave her a kiss.
Hatchi saw that no one was giving him any attention started barking his little head off. "Aww…" Perrie remarked," Someone missed Daddy."
He barked as I held him up to my face and started cuddling him and said," Oh who's a good boy? Who was a good boy when Daddy was gone? Yes you are. Yes, you are!"
Then we heard someone clear their throat. It was Paul carrying one of my bags from the trunk. "I hate to break this special reunion with you and your dog but you have quite a bit of luggage we need to attend to."
I could feel my cheeks redden as Perrie started laughing. "Sorry 'bout that, Paul." I awkwardly carried Hatchi in one arm and struggled with a bag.
Paul laughed. "You should probably put the dog down before you help me with this." He gestured to my luggage in the back.
"I'll take him inside." Perrie said as she grabbed him out of my arms," I'll get dinner ready."
"Thanks Perrie." I murmured and gave her a quick peck on the lips before I turned my attention to the massive challenge ahead, which was to unpack everything.
A few days after I came home, Perrie and I have been hanging out more often. I had a few radio interviews here and there but other than that we had the world to ourselves. I loved waking up next to her every morning and not have to text her every waking moment to know if she was ok because she was right beside me. It's nice not having the world watch your every move. To be able to smile and not have an image of it the next day on Tumblr is a luxury that won't last forever, but I wasn't going to take any of it for granted.
Over dinner Perrie asked," Why are you staring at me?" She had her confused face on. I blinked my eyes a few times. I was thinking about proposing to her tonight. The ring seemed to burn in my pocket and sweat was probably running down my face. Her parents already said yes, I already arranged for the guitar player who 'just happened to be out there' and literally every tiny detail. All I had to do was ask four little words. I haven't been more nervous in my life.
"Sorry, love. I must've zoned out…"
"You were thinking about something…is there anything wrong with your family?" she asked, her eyebrows crumpled together in concern.
I quickly shook my head. "No, nothing like that. I just really missed you."
She grinned; the worried expression disappeared from her face. "Zaynie, you've told me that for the past few days. I know that by now."
I looked down at my food and smiled. " I'm glad that you do." Once we were done and she was getting ready to put the dishes away, I knew I had to ask. It was now or never. "Do you want to go for a little walk? It's a really nice evening."
"But Zayn, the dishes…"
I smiled," The dishes can wait."
She put down her dishrag and smirked back at me. "So where to, Prince Charming?"
"I was thinking down by the wharf, if we hurry we can catch the sunset." Thank goodness she didn't catch on to anything.
"That sounds great." She replied. She reached for my hand, hers fit perfectly in my embrace. Like we were made for each other. Through everything we managed to stay together. We walked out the door and into the cool evening.
It was peaceful out on the little wharf. The worn wooden boards creaked under our feet. We passed an elderly couple who nodded a hello to us. They seemed to be married for a long time, but they stayed together through it all. The crisp sea breeze carried the faint guitar notes of the musician. He was playing the song that Louis and I had heard only weeks ago.
Tonight, a candle lights the room
Tonight, it's only me and you
Your skin, like gravity
Is pulling every part of me
I fall, you and I collide
"Perrie, can I ask you a question?"
She turned to me in surprise. "Yes?"
I breathed in, trying to steady myself. "What if we didn't meet on X-Factor?"
She shrugged," I guess I will never have met you. Sadly I think I would have gone on and had a normal life, a normal job. So typically normal, but if we didn't meet we wouldn't have to go through so many goodbyes." Her lower lip trembled. I knew about how much hate she'd gone through the past year. I held her hand as she vomited after reading the 'Zux' fan-fiction. I was and will always be there for her. I wanted her to me mine and mine alone.
What if I stay forever?
What if there's no goodbye?
Frozen for a moment here in time, yeah.
If you tell me the sky is falling,
Or say that the stars collide,
The only thing that matters in my life,
Is you and I tonight
"What if we didn't have to go through anymore goodbyes?"
She turned to me. "What do you mean?"
I held both of her hands in mine. "I hate waking up every day not knowing if you're ok or not. I've heard of stories about people who kept searching all of their lives for their true love. But I guess I'm lucky 'cause I already found mine."
I knelt on the dock, the Thames River rushing directly below me. Perrie covered her mouth in surprise. I pulled the ring and opened it so that the diamonds glimmered in the last hints of daylight.
"Perrie Louise Edwards, I absolutely love you. I would do anything to protect you and I can't stand not being able to be by your side every day. I don't want to say anymore goodbyes to you. Will you marry me?" Her tears in her eyes shone brighter than the diamonds on the ring. I was certain on what her next few words would be.