Chapter 6: How Things Change

AN1: So I was planning on posting another chapter to show you what's going on with future Dean before this, but I thought you guys would appreciate some answers so this chapter is first and that chapter is next. But wow guys, there is 558 of you reading this and that is just AMAZING to me, so thanks so much, and enjoy! Plus, don't forget to R&R!

-GNS-

Who are you? The question echoes in the back of my mind. What am I supposed to say? What can I tell them that won't make them detest my very existence? I'm pond scum, I'm unclean, and I'm worthless. If I tell them who I am now… it can't end well. I don't know how long I've remained here, folded into myself and avoiding all eyes, but I know it's been awhile. No one has made a sound through it all and my family is left holding their breath. Dean is still crouching in front of me and I lift up my head to meet his eyes. We're so close that I can feel it when his breath catches in his throat.

"Sam—" he starts, eyes wide with surprise and confusion. I take my hand and push the hair out of my face. Forcing myself up on one knee I continue to look straight at him.

"I'm not your brother, Dean," the words sound more like the truth than they have the right to, "but I knew him once." And I did didn't I? I used to know the naïve little boy who wasn't the empty shell of a man and whose brother never stopped loving him with his whole heart. I used to know that dumb kid who wasn't broken and scarred and whose brother wouldn't put a gun to his head and tell him that they weren't, brothers that is. I used to know him.

Dean rocks back on his feet to stand and his eyes never leave mine. "I just, I thought with the way you were talking—" he cut's off for a moment, and I can tell that he's thinking, "what do you mean you used to know him? He's ten, how did you used to know him?"

I send him a small smile as I whisper, "Time travel." He steps back so that I can get up from the floor, his jaw hanging open. "You'll catch flies," I joke.

"You're from the future?" He exclaims. His awe is clearly evident on his face. John is sending me a calculating gaze from the end of the room. I see him nod to himself but I'm not sure why.

"The future?" Dad asks, his deep voice rumbling with the words.

"Tail end of 2012 to be exact."

"What so are there like, flying cars and robot butlers and stuff?" Dean wonders. I fail in holding back my laugh and the sound comes rolling out of me.

"Um, no flying cars, but you might be able to buy a robot butler for a couple hundred bucks, probably won't be able to talk tough. Those Roomba things are pretty cool." I say with a smirk.

Dean is about to ask me what the hell a Roomba is when John steps in, "So how did you know Sam?"

Dean goes quiet at the same time I do. "We were close, for a time," I sigh, "he was hunting the same thing as me and we happened to run into each other." I don't notice how John's face falls at my words. "We finished the hunt together, and we stayed in touch for a while." I tried to make my story simple so there weren't any details I could slip up on, but I see Dean glaring from across the room. I can tell he didn't believe a word I said.

"Where was I?" He demands, arms crossed and green eyes ablaze.

"You weren't there."

"I got that captain obvious. Where was I?"

It's then that I realize he thinks he will never leave me. He thinks that we'll go through life, I don't know, hunting, living, whatever it is, together. He thinks that everything will be fine and dandy. He doesn't know in less than eight short years from this very moment I'll get a letter from a fancy school and I won't look back. He doesn't know that four after that he'll show up on my doorstep for the first time in two years and he'll never admit it but he missed me. He doesn't know that two more from that moment I'll be dead and he'll make a damn deal for my life. He doesn't know that another year more and he'll be ripped down into Hell and I'll have nothing. He doesn't know that I'll find comfort in the arms of a demon, he doesn't know I'll practically be one myself. He doesn't know.

A harsh chuckle boils up to the surface and spills out of my throat. "You were gone, Dean. You were gone and he had no one."

The denial that covers his face now is so God damned heartbreaking that I want to take it back. Except I know that if he never hears this from me he'll never learn, and he'll go through life wondering why I couldn't be something I'm so clearly not. I know he'll never stop thinking about how things went wrong instead of accepting that they were always going to go wrong in the first place. So I take a breath in, this is what happens when I let it out.

"Life isn't perfect, Dean. Life isn't perfect and you aren't perfect and Sam isn't perfect. One day he'll leave you or you'll leave him, but here's where things will change. You'll find someone. Sure, maybe they won't be little Sammy but if you look there will always be someone there who loves you, Dean. You need to know that. Even if or when he leaves you he will always love you. But he won't have anybody. Whatever sense of peace he thinks he'll find it will end up dead, gone, or would be using him from the start. Somewhere deep down he knows that, and that's why he always walks away. Not because he's stubborn and not because he hates you, but because he knows that you will always have someone and he'll just be the three legged dog that you drag around with you everywhere. So no, you weren't there, and to tell you the truth, it doesn't really matter where you were. He was alone, Dean. He was alone and so lonely because of it."

"No." Is the only sound that comes out of his mouth, "no you're wrong."

I shake my head, because don't I wish I was?

-GNS-

AN2: Yay! Okay, so definitely not the big reveal that everyone was hoping for, that won't come until later, but I made sure to throw you some sort of bone with the whole "I'm from the future" thing. Hope you all liked it! Once again a special thanks to all of you who commented on the last chapter including , fanfic1892, mhank, Ezaki, Missy Winchester, C, and catlover2976. I always love to hear from you! The next chapter should be coming out soon!