AN

Ok, so change of plan. I decided to split chapter 15 at the change of POV.

Leah POV

I left the house and managed to avoid anyone that might attempt to be my chaperone. If I was being honest, I didn't even see anyone. I figured they were all out tracking.

As I drove back to my house, I tried to figure out the last 24 hours.

Who would have thought that when I said goodbye to my sunrise yesterday, I would wake up next to a dead animal today?

I started to run through all the possibilities.

I believed the alphas when they said that it wasn't a shape shifter because there was no way to get around an alpha command. The guys would have had no choice but to be honest. Besides, in my heart, I could never truly believe one of them would do it.

The boys could be cruel sometimes and would even occasionally be vindictive, but I generally antagonised them just as much. It had been this way for years. I was the bitter harpy of La Push and the bane in their lives. I was still their sister though.

So who did that leave?

I trusted the alphas themselves - that wasn't even a question. I still had enough faith in the world to see that.

I was also sure it wasn't one of the imprints. We might hate each other, but they wouldn't have the stomach, strength, or know how, to do something like that. Plus, they may be bitches, but they weren't psychos (generally).

What about a normal person?

I didn't buy that either. The fact that there was no scent, or trail, was a like a big neon sign screaming supernatural. Plus, whoever did it had to be somewhat stealthy because even with all the drinking, I wasn't the only wolf about the place.

Did that mean there was a new leech in town?

If it was a blood sucker why leave a message like that?

Why not just kill me?

All of these questions made it highly unlikely that a vampire was responsible. My drunken state would have made me an easy kill for them.

So why was I alive to tell the tale?

I felt all my anger filtering away into confusion. To be honest, during the earlier meeting, I was only really angry to get people off my case. This morning had affected me more than I was willing to admit. Emotionally, I felt like I had been on the world's biggest rollercoaster. Physically, I now felt like I'd now gone ten rounds with Emmett.

As per normal, my life was just way too weird and complicated. I supposed that I should have been used to the bizarre events by now. It was the normal ones that surprisingly hurt me more. Things like Sam and Emily, Jake and Nessie, and even Cris and coffee, came to mind.

Ok, so Cris and coffee sounds weird right?

You'd think, why would coffee be hurtful?

Well, coffee was a throwback to Hawaii. Rebecca and I had spent numerous mornings on the patio drinking it and just being normal. We used the time to talk about the most mundane things, but it encompassed the exact thing my life was missing - normality.

In the end, I had even found peace in our morning ritual, but now look at me. I had been back less than one day and was already dealing with all kinds of wolf crap. I was hung over, moody, dirty and causing problems.

I loved, and had even missed, my immature and irritating pack. We had our own routines, but it wasn't the same; it wasn't what I wanted…what I needed.

For one, the guys were with me all the time - whether I wanted their company, or not. Secondly, everything was always a joke to them. Thirdly, if they weren't larking about, they were watching films and chilling out. They basically lived at my place, but they never did anything grown up. I often felt more like their mother. Life to them was always about drinking beer and eating mass amounts of food. A standard conversation would be about who phased the best on the fly and the imprints; they had no interest in anything else.

I suppose it was all my own fault. Unlike them, I hated being a wolf.

It was the vicious circle that I was stuck in!

The thing was, they were all younger than me as well. I had four years on Jake, Quil and Embry, and six on Seth. Yet, it wasn't even that which bothered me so much. The problem, like I said before, was that they didn't want normal lives. They didn't see the wolf thing as a curse. They all still enjoyed acting like teenage boys and messing about.

I don't even think they realised that I was coming up to thirty this year and had nothing to show for my life. I didn't count it as an accomplishment being an almighty bitch with a path of destruction.

So all in all, that was why, Hawaii and something silly like having coffee this morning panged me.

Simple, huh?

I admit, a huge part of me hated that my life wasn't enough for me. My pack was my family, but they had come to terms with the things I couldn't. There were too many things holding me down. I wasn't free like them; I was drowning. Every event in my life was like another nail in my coffin.

I pulled up at home faster than I should have and slammed on the brakes in frustration. I forgot my own strength and my foot hit the pedal sharper than intended. I cursed as I flew forward out of my seat and smacked my head on the windscreen.

Rubbing my sore head, I saw Seth come flying out the door making a beeline for me. I had barely got myself out of the car and closed the door, before I was being subjected to one of his bear hugs.

"Sorry Leah…"

Why was sorry the first word out of his mouth?

I pushed him back and slapped him round the head. "Whatever you're going to apologise for, don't! I've just had it all from Jake and Sam. I'm fine!"

Seth surprisingly laughed, "God I've missed you!" His smile fell, "You sure you're ok?"

Before I could answer, his words became rushed. "Leah, I really wanted to stay this morning, but Jake sent us all away tracking. I didn't know that you never went home. I'd have died if something had happened to you."

I looked him in the eye. "I'm fine. Stop being so wet! What did you find out there?" I nodded towards the woods.

I wanted to know if anything had been uncovered, but I also wanted to distract Seth from worrying. Our relationship may have changed as we grew up, but he was still my little brother.

Seth shrugged. "Nothing - no sign of anyone. I'm going for a run again now though."

I looked at him quizzically, trying to decide if I he was ok. Everyone was so bloody sensitive this morning.

"Wait up and I'll come with you!" I could do with a run and doing something constructive.

"You're supposed to be meeting Jake." My brother was frowning at me.

I chuckled and playfully punched him. "He can wait. I want to run with you; maybe we could catch up on things before you start annoying me too much."

"Nice try, but it's not worth the headache from Jake." Seth stepped back in case I hit him again.

"Aw, don't be such a kiss ass." I pouted my lips and mocked him with kissing noises.

He chuckled. "Stop it Leah, you can't avoid your alpha. Anyway, Jake's cooked brunch!" He nodded towards the front door.

"He's early!" I had barely had a minute to myself, and I stomped my foot like a petulant child.

Seth just gave me an even more comical look. "Tell him, not me. Laters!"

He walked off quickly across the road and melted into the woods.

Irritated, I turned and opened the front door to be confronted with the sight of smoke pouring out of the kitchen. The breeze from the doorway blew it further into our living room, and a high pitched screech filled the air. I threw my hands to my ears in protection and doubled over. The frequency was so high and my hearing was so sensitive, add to that the hangover and it was unbearable.

I bellowed over the noise angrily, "Jake!"

I saw him come tumbling out of the kitchen with a tea towel in hand. He began to frantically waft it around the alarm trying to disperse the smoke. After a few minutes the noise ceased, and I was able to stand, but my ears were still ringing.

Jake looked to be panting, and I noticed he was wearing my stupid apron. I couldn't help but grin, and the memories of this morning were gone in an instant. The apron was a daft Christmas gift from the pack - it was bright pink, with a big girly superman style 'S' in the middle. I hated it, but Jake forbid me from burning it. I was so glad he did because seeing him dressed up like a pansy made it all worthwhile.

Jake saw me eyeing the apron and beamed back. "Thought one of us should get some use out of it!"

"Well it certainly brings out your eyes." I said sarcastically.

"Aw, thanks Leah. So you're going to get changed right? You look like shit and brunch is almost ready!" His grin only got wider.

I chuckled as I realised in Jake's other hand was a burnt looking spatula. Ok, maybe being home wasn't as bad as I thought; Jake and Seth were certainly amusing.

"Shouldn't we talk about this morning first? You do remember there's a dead wolf on the Cullen's lawn," I said, pointing out the front door - all humour gone.

Jake's face was solemn. "Not yet. Give me ten minutes to enjoy you being back. Besides, you look hungry. What were they feeding you on that island?" He finished his order with a smile.

"Hmm, I'm not sure I'm hungry enough for your cooking." I wasn't going to lie to him.

I had wondered many times on holiday what Jake and Seth were living off. If it was their own food, then who knew what damage their insides had suffered; I doubted regeneration would even heal them.

"Look, if you can eat raw meat, then you can manage some extra, extra, crispy bacon!" He was pointing the cooking utensil right at me in a finger wagging kind of way.

I needed to get changed. "Whatever, I'll be back in a minute!"

I made my way up to my room while Jake returned to the ruined food. I tried to brush my hair, but it was so tangled and knotty it hurt and the brush kept getting caught. It was frustrating me, so I gave up on it for the time being and moved on to my personal hygiene. Putting my hand to my mouth, I smelt my breath. It was gross! Rosalie would have had a field day; I had official dog's breath!

I wondered how she was doing. We had a weird relationship. We weren't exactly friends, but we had a mutual understanding. There were some things other women just didn't get, not until they had experienced it.

I knew how hard it was for Rosalie being around Ness, but I also knew how much joy she got from having her in her life. I felt much the same; in the end, there was no way I could truly hate the little monster. Even with the Jake thing, she was just an innocent child caught in the crossfire of our screwed up lives.

I realised I was dwelling on things again and wanted to slap myself. Instead, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I was brushing, I noticed one of Jake's car magazines lying on the side and started to flick through aimlessly. I stopped at the centre fold to admire a Bugatti Veyron. The car was stunning and as soon as I'd finished cleaning my teeth, I read down the spec's (I've been with guys who love cars for ten years, what do you expect?).

Maybe I could do something heroic and the blood suckers would buy me one? I might just let the old banger go for that.

I was feeling better at the image of me driving round La Push in the beast of a car. That was until I noticed a smaller photo in the lower corner; the magazines very own playboy bunny was lying over the bonnet.

Typical guy's magazine, the cars are never enough!

Looking at the girl again, I took in how fake her pose was spread across the car, but I still couldn't help notice how pretty and feminine she was. Dare I even say, sexy.

She had an air of Renesmee to her, although she didn't hold a torch to her pretty features. I looked up at myself in the mirror; my hair was still a state, and I suddenly felt ridiculous. I laughed bitterly at my dress. Who was I trying to kid?

I grabbed the scissors and gathered a large chunk of my hair. Watching my reflection, it seemed surreal as I brought the scissors up to chin level. I could feel the tears building, and at the sight of them I started to cut.

By the time I finished, the floor was covered in my thick black locks. I looked at my new choppy bob; it wasn't straight, but what did it matter? It was practical and fit being a wolf, which was all I ever could be.

I quickly grabbed a dust pan and brush from a cupboard and cleaned up the mess. I stripped and threw the dress in the bathroom bin, along with the hair. I quickly went back to my room and found my usual shorts and vest top. I changed and headed back downstairs.

"Wow!" Jake exclaimed. "What happened?" He gestured to my hair.

"Got bored. Where's the poison?" I was referring to his cooking of course.

He stared at my hair for a few more seconds before grabbing a plate. I glared at him, daring him to comment.

"Here, it's not so bad. I've already had three." He pushed the food at me. There were two bagels filled with blackened bacon and judging by the smell, cream cheese.

"Impressive Jake!" I couldn't help but be facetious. I was hungry though and devoured both of them at an unbelievable speed.

God, all I had to do was finish with a belch and I really was a bloke. Jake luckily let me eat in silence. I finished and shoved the plate back at him. "Thanks." I smiled and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, beyond caring.

"Juice?" Jake offered, handing me a glass before I could answer.

It was time to call him out. "Not that this isn't appreciated, but you can stop now. You don't need to butter me up, or burn down my kitchen Jake. In fact, all this effort is totally bugging me. You're going to clean up, right?"

Jake pulled up a seat. "Of course, I did genuinely want to do something nice for you though. There's no agenda. I just thought you'd rather I cooked, than have me telling you how pleased I am you're back. And, well, after today I thought you deserved a bit of pampering." Colour flooded his cheeks as he spoke.

"Thanks. So I guess I go away for one month and miss most of the drama?" I took a gulp of my juice, still feeling dehydrated after last night.

Jake's mouth twitched. "Yeah, although it's a good thing. If you had been here when the Barrow lot turned up, you might have blown a gasket. More werewolves are hardly something you'd be enthusiastic about."

I saw his point, but disagreed. "They don't seem so bad."

He snorted. "Hang on a minute…this is you, right? I get the crap hair cut's back, but not the attitude?" Jake ducked as threw a nearby spoon at his head.

As if to prove him wrong I said, "Don't count on it."

"So what do you make of them really? First impression and all?"

It was nice to be asked my opinion about things again.

"Well Cris seems alright. He's the only one I've really spoken to. I don't count the kitchen meeting last night because everyone acts like a chump at introductions." I thought if Cris was alpha, then the others couldn't really be that bad either.

"What do you reckon about this morning?" Jake looked at me worried. "That wasn't like you at all! Are you ok?"

"I guess I've got a weaker stomach than I thought." I let out a fake laugh trying to cover the fact I had been scared. Jesus, if one of the guys had been there when I woke up, I'd have probably jumped on them flailing and screaming.

"It's not a joke." Jake was staring at me like I'd gone nuts.

"Sorry, ignore me, I'm probably still drunk. I really don't know what to think. At first I thought it was a sick prank by one of the guys." I felt ashamed admitting it.

"Leah, no one hates you like you think."

Was that Jake's idea of reassuring me?

"No, they still hate me though. That's much better," I sniggered; it was a really bad habit of mine.

All I got in response was an eye roll before he continued. "Be serious. I'm worried. We've been so off the ball lately that I'm thinking things may have been getting through our boundaries. I don't know what this means."

I suddenly thought of the newspaper and the crushed woman. I looked to the counter and quickly stood and grabbed it. Turning to the front page, I held it out to Jake. "Jake did you guys see this?"

Jake took the paper off me. "No, we haven't been here much in the last week and we never read the paper anyway."

He was reading it now though and was starting to chew on his lip. "It's not a vampire, is it? The body wasn't drained or anything? Why would anyone do that?"

I remembered our conversation at the Cullen's. "I don't know, but you said earlier there were no coincidences around here."

I hated to admit it, but the wolf in me was pleased to be back in the game. Besides, Jake was treating me normally again and not like the weak girl from this morning.

"I honestly don't know. I'll give Edward a call in a minute and see what he thinks. I didn't like this morning's message either way. It felt like a threat against you. Why else use a female wolf?" Jake looked genuinely worried.

I felt guilty for being so rude this morning. I knew they all cared, but I despised feeling helpless. I forced myself to reach over the table and put my hand on his.

"I know Jake. I was shocked too, but I'm really ok; we'll figure it out." I squeezed his hand in reassurance and got a weak smile in return.

"Sam was sort of right," he whispered.

"What?" I snapped and quickly pulled my hand back.

"You shouldn't go out there alone." Jake's eyes were sincere and possibly fearful. He knew what kind of reaction he was likely to receive from me.

"I'm not going to have a babysitter." I was set on this.

"I won't command you Leah. You know I don't work like that. I will ask you to be careful though. Don't patrol alone, don't go wandering off alone, basically, however stupid you think it might be, please use your common sense."

His voice was pleading and I respected the fact he didn't command me. We had an understanding and sometimes, whatever the pack felt, Jake understood that I had to do things my way. I had little control over my life as it was, so he gave me what he could.

I tried to change the subject for his sake. It wasn't my favourite topic, but I had to ask, and Cris's comments about the alphas had struck a nerve. "So, speaking of the Cullen's. How's Nessie doing?"

Jake's face lit up at her name, everything else forgotten. "I spoke to her briefly before I came over here. She seemed happier than she has been in a long time. They are visiting Tanya and Kate at the moment so at least she's occupied."

"Well that's not far. Why don't you go surprise her?" As much as I hated their bond, I hated Jake's sadness more.

"Yeah, well that's something I was going to talk to you about," he said, stalling. "But, then it all kicked off this morning."

"Don't be stupid! You can't let this morning change things. There are enough of us here to patrol. Besides, if you needed to come back Denali isn't far." I didn't see the problem.

He didn't look convinced. "I know. Visiting isn't the problem though. I was thinking more of a permanent thing. Today does change things though. I can't leave my pack at a time like this."

I felt numb. It was inevitable that he would have to leave one day, but it didn't mean I liked it. What was I supposed to say to him? Either way I failed someone; both ways I failed myself.

If he stayed it would only be out of obligation. If he left, everyone would say he had really bad timing and I wasn't sure how the packs would take it with our leader absent.

Words failed me and I couldn't speak.

Jake must have seen my internal struggle and misread it. "Leah don't worry. I'm not going anywhere with all this stuff going on."

I was getting angry now. We were going backwards again, and I definitely did not want him to stay out of obligation. I wanted him to be happy, even if I lost him. It was the inevitable. "Don't you dare put your life on hold because of this. Jake, you've done more than your fair share. Get out while you can; not all of us have to be tied to this place."

I despised my voice of reason, but it was the right thing to say. This wasn't about me and I would never hold him back.

He looked torn. "We'll talk about in a bit. I'm going to call Edward. Can I use your phone?"

"Yeah, sure." I grabbed the phone from its stand and tossed it to him forcefully.

I left the room to give him his privacy and stood looking out the lounge window at the familiar trees. I wondered if Seth was having a better day.