7/24/2020: Luster, the District 1 victor from the previous chapter, is a new character who popped into my head. And I've fallen in love with her. I really like our victors, so I hope I'm doing them justice so far. There will be other victors introduced later in this story as well.

~Meghan

Chapter XVI

Meetings

- Training Center, Floor 7 -

Breakfast starts at nine o'clock. The sun shines in through the large windows, illuminating our dining area in gold and pink.

Lauren sits with her plate full of food just like on the train. Meanwhile, Bole seems to struggle to eat, picking at one of the purple soups before giving up and chewing on some bread instead. Neither of them is malnourished, but Bole especially is a bit on the thin side. Lauren has some muscle to her, but it's still important they both eat to put on weight for the arena. There's no telling how long they'll have to go without food then.

Lauren reaches out to grab a slice of meat.

Ilis gasps, making her freeze. "Use your serving fork, young lady. Hands are not meant for food."

I shoot Ilis a glare but he doesn't notice. Lauren flushes, leaning back in her seat. I reach over, grabbing the slice of meat with my hand and setting it on Lauren's plate. Ilis huffs, muttering something under his breath, but Lauren gives me a small, grateful smile.

"So what do you both do back in Seven?" I ask, breaking the tension.

Both of them are quiet for a moment, and then Lauren speaks. "I pull logs at the mill."

"That's impressive," Axel says, raising his eyebrows. "Aren't you sixteen?"

She nods. Usually lumber pulling is reserved for kids who are seventeen or older. "My parents both do it too, so I started out a bit early. The foreman allowed it since I showed promise, I guess. It's not too bad. They give us extra rations sometimes during felling season."

Bole finally speaks for the first time all morning. "I'm apprenticing as one of the tree specialists. I'm part of the quality division."

I smile. "That's a tough job. Takes a smart student."

Lauren looks over at Bole, a proud smile crossing her lips. He turns a bit pink, muttering a thank you. Then his eyes turn to Lauren before he gives her a smile, some unsaid gaze passing between them. And then they're both turning back to their breakfast.

My eyes meet Axel's. He saw the look too. But I don't mention it. Instead I just focus on my own food for the remaining fifteen minutes. The minute Ilis takes the tributes down for training, I leap to the phone in the corner.

The ringing stops after a couple seconds. I bet Pine has been sitting by it waiting for me to call.

"Hello?"

"Hey," I breathe, sighing in relief when his voice answers. "It is so good to hear you."

"You too," he says. "How is everything there?"

"As good as it can be, all things considered," I answer quickly. "What about there? How are you and Mama? Is everything okay with Striker?"

"Yeah," Pine says with a small laugh. "Mama has been going over every other day to check up on him. Striker's family has been visiting soon. I've been babysitting his grandkids sometimes when Striker needs a nap. But yeah, we're all fine here."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh, good."

I can almost hear his smile. "Hey, tell me - what are the tributes from Twelve like? I saw them during the chariot parade, ya' know, with the fire and everything! Everyone was talking about it. Of course, we were trees again, that's pretty boring. What about the other mentors, what are they like?"

"Slow down," I say with a rare giggle, "the victors are... interesting so far. I don't know very much about Twelve, my tributes are in training right now."

Pine is quiet for a moment. Then, "how is Lauren doing? That's her name, right?"

I pause, thinking. What can I say? I feel like the answer is obvious, but Pine just wants to be nice and ask after our own district. He doesn't know Lauren, they're two grades apart, but still - she's one of us.

"Fern, want to come with me to the Victor's Lounge?" Axel asks as he walks back into the room. "I can introduce you to the others."

I consider declining, wanting to spend more time talking to Pine, but he must hear Axel because he gasps in delight. "There's a Victor's Lounge? You have to go, Fern! Tell me about everyone!"

"Okay, okay," I say, unable to keep myself from smiling. "I'll talk to you later. Give Mama a hug for me."

"Roger that!" Pine replies. "Have fun with the others."

I shake my head, but meeting the other victors seems less intimidating now that Pine's raved about it. "Love you," I say, and set down the phone. I turn to Axel and hold my hands out to my clothing - black leggings and a gray tunic. "Is this okay? Or should I dress more..." I trail off, unsure. How does one dress to meet victors anyway? I don't have Gallus dressing me today for any fancy occasion.

Axel smiles. "You look fine. They don't really care about that stuff. Well, mostly." He walks over and clicks the button for the elevator. "How're your mom and brother doing?"

I shrug. "Pretty well, I guess. They're watching over Striker."

We're quiet as the elevator starts rising up to our floor. I chew on the inside of my cheek, wondering what to say. Axel and I aren't the closest among the victors, even though he and Johanna are the closest to my age compared to the others. He didn't bother very much last night to get me to mix with the others. Or, maybe he did. He probably knew that Lyme would take me under her wing.

It's funny. I would've expected a former Career mentor to stick to the other mentors from their districts. The mentality of 'once a Career, always Career' is something I've grown up with. Watching them on television was always a reminder to me that they had gotten out of the arena after volunteering to go in. The rest of us didn't have that luxury. Last night, though, that division seemed to fall away. Lyme - and even Luster, sort of - were just... normal victors.

"You don't have to be nervous," Axel says as the elevator opens.

I grimace. "Who's nervous?"

We get in the elevator and Axel selects a level I've never been to before, somewhere below the Training Center gymnasium. "They like you."

"I only met a few," I say simply. Which is true. I only really talked with Lyme, and then the pair from 3, but no one seemed to be talking to Capalla and Beetee otherwise. "Finnick didn't seem to like me very much."

Axel cracks a lopsided smile. "He's just teasing. Once you get to know him a bit better, he'll warm up to you."

I rock back on my heels as the elevator descends. The question pops into my head quicker than I think about whether or not I should ask it. "You and the District One girl are pretty close."

"Luster?" Axel asks, raising his eyebrows, as if there was another District 1 woman around. "Yeah, she's cool." He's quiet until the elevator doors open to a simple light-blue hallway. "She won the year after me. So we both ended up being mentors the next Games."

Suddenly I remember, and feel stupid for not having done the math. Axel won the 68th Games, sandwiched between two years that District 1 took the victory. Axel must have been one of the new kids to mentor for the 70th Hunger Games, just like I am now. That was the year the dam broke and the girl from 4 won, all because she was the only tribute who could swim for that long. The remaining boy from 7 drowned like most other tributes who had survived until that point. Which, now that Axel's mentioned it, included the girl from 1. They had to watch their first tributes drown together.

I open my mouth to apologize for bringing it up, but he turns and heads toward an unassuming silver door with a brass handle. He glances at me, nodding towards it. "Ready?"

"No," I finally say. But I pull my shoulders back and lift up my chin all the same. "Can you stay near me? For a bit."

"Sure," Axel says quietly. He opens the door, letting the sound of laughter and Caesar Flickerman's voice float out.

I follow him inside, my heart skipping a nervous beat. The room isn't large like I had expected. It's square and simple with a cozy seating area full of couches and plush chairs, set around a big coffee table. To the left is a pool table and to the right is a counter full of food giving off enticing smells of chocolate, roasted ham, and fresh fruit. A screen is on the back wall, facing the door, with Caesar's face currently taking up the broadcast. About half the victors from yesterday all sit around, lounging and chatting, glancing over to see who's just arrived. Luster, I notice, isn't here.

"Hey, Axel," Finnick calls from the pool table. He leans on the pool stick in his hand. "Wanna' play a round after I'm done threshing Julius?"

"Sure," Axel responds, glancing over at me. "Have you ever played pool before?"

I shake my head.

Julius grins at me, standing at the opposite end of the green table from Finnick. "We can teach you. I don't think we've met, by the way, Fern."

Just like Luster and Lyme, Julius is another Career I'm familiar with seeing. He won the year ahead of me, back when he was 16 during the 72nd Hunger Games. He was a favorite from the beginning. He has the confident smile the tributes from District 2 always do, and captured the Capitol's interest with a similar attitude during his interview. I can still see him laughing with Caesar, not a care in the world the night before his Games.

"We can bet on it," Julius says. His dark eyes light up with excitement. "Have anything worth betting?"

I give Axel a curious look. "Um... I have some money..." I trail off, unsure, as Finnick smothers a smile.

"Money is a bit boring, isn't it?" Julius eggs on.

"Leave the poor girl alone," a familiar voice sighs. Lyme appears next to Axel. "Honestly, Julius, I'll tell your mother when we get back in Two."

Julius rolls his eyes, sighing dramatically. "We're just trying to welcome her. C'mon, Lyme. We're all friends here."

"You were the new boy last year, so you can cut the act," Lyme responds in the way a strict-but-loving teacher might, folding her strong arms. Julius groans, turning back to Finnick. Lyme turns to me. "Just ignore it. They always do this stuff with the newest victor."

"How nice," I mutter, glancing over at Axel with a look I hope screams you could have warned me. He just smiles back apologetically.

Lyme nods towards the couches where the pair from 3 and another woman sit. "We're doing a puzzle. You and Axel can help."

"Oh," Axel says, looking surprised, "maybe we could play some video ga-"

"Wasn't a question." Lyme turns to walk toward the couches without so much as a glance back at him.

I grin at Axel, earning me a derisive look on his part, but he still follows me towards the red velvet couches where the group is seated around the coffee table. Capalla smiles when she sees me, but Beetee barely looks up from some wire-covered device he's fiddling with. The other woman, who fits a piece of the puzzle in before glancing at me, has a shaved head and warm olive skin. She's familiar but I can't place her name.

"Fern, this is my friend, Millicent Porter Tripp," Lyme tells me.

It takes me a moment to remember the District 5 woman who won about four decades ago. She's known for her Victory Tour, where she had to wear a neck brace after one of the other tributes broke her spine during the finale.

She smiles at me. "Millicent Porter is a bit of a mouthful. You can call me Millie. Everyone else does."

"Sit with us, Fern," Capalla says, waving to the couch cushion between her and Millicent Porter.

A wave of relief washes over me as I walk over to them and nestle down onto the soft couch. "Thank you."

Capalla pats my hand as Axel takes a seat in one of the armchairs next to Beetee. He barely glances over at the District 3 victor, who is still engrossed in the wires and pushing up his glasses as they keep sliding down his nose. Lyme sits down too, focusing on the giant puzzle set out on the table. Behind us, Finnick whoops at the pool table and Julius starts complaining. I hear the door open and Axel glances over.

"They didn't put out the sandwiches today?" Haymitch Abernathy's voice calls.

I peer over to see him at the food table. His black hair looks markedly neater than it did on footage at the reapings. He's almost as put-together as he was last night during the Tribute Parade. I didn't end up speaking to the District 12 mentor, but I feel like everyone knows about him already. He's the only living victor from his district, and a well-known drunk.

"Lun already took all the posca, so if you need a drink it won't be here," Millie says to him.

Haymitch turns towards her. He smiles humorlessly. "Thanks for the tip, sweetheart." He drifts over, waving a lazy finger at the coffee table. "Another puzzle this year?"

Axel stares at the puzzle piece in his hand in disappointment. "Seems like it." He glances back up at Haymitch. "Since when don't you bring a bottle with you down here?"

"I'm quitting alcohol," Haymitch says sarcastically. "Thinking of taking up something useful. Like puzzles." His gray eyes shift towards me. "Ah, a new face. Well, sort of. No one is really a new face here, are we?"

I flinch. He's not wrong, but it's unusual to hear someone speak so bluntly. With a start, I remember President Snow's words about Haymitch back in my home's lounge. Tell me, Miss Redwood, are you familiar with Haymitch Abernathy? The way President Snow had looked so smug. An orphan at seventeen.

Capalla gives Haymitch a dirty look. "Why are you always such a joy in the morning?"

"A gift of mine," Haymitch says. "I'm Haymitch. It's nice to meet you, Fern."

I try to smile at him but I'm certain it probably looks like cringing. I know too much about him. Can he tell? When I look him in his gray eyes, I'm almost surprised to find a level of awareness he usually doesn't seem to have on television. He isn't drunk. When have I ever seen Haymitch Abernathy not drunk? I don't have time to wonder, because the television catches my attention as Caesar says my name.

"Our newest victor, Fern, is enjoying her mentor debut," Caesar says loudly on the screen. A picture of me laughing last night at the Tribute Parade appears next to him. "It's a bit different scenery from the shocking times when we saw her last year." He laughs as the screen changes to me sprinting through the desert during the rainstorm, lightning striking near me.

I can see Axel turn to look at me, and Millie pause with a puzzle piece in her fingers, but my eyes are glued to the screen.

It changes to me leaping through brush, and then slamming my ax into Cleo's skull. My body almost seems to go numb when I watch the blood, hear the cannon signifying Cleo's death, see the girl from 2 on the ground.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Lyme staring stunned. Did she know Cleo? What if she taught her at their special training academy back at 2?

The scene changes again to me fighting Tide. As the cameras capture me dodging him, I can clearly see my green eyes. And it doesn't look like me. I'm staring at some other person with hatred in their eyes, burning, rushing at the boy from 4 with an ax in her hands.

When I see his eyes open wide in fear, I close mine. But behind my eyelids I see it all again. I feel the hot sun on my neck and hear the screams from dying children at the Cornucopia. My throat is so dry it's like it's paper, and my hands are covered in blood. I'm back in the arena.

A warm hand makes my eyes snap open.

I turn to find Millie's hand over my own fingers crushing the edge of the couch cushion. The room around me is quiet. Julius and Finnick have stopped their pool match. Haymitch is staring at the television screen. I'm suddenly aware of all the victors staring at me. Even Beetee has stopped messing with the wires in his hand to look at me over the top of his glasses.

"I... I need some air," I manage. I stand up, avoiding all their eyes. I hurry out of the room and back into the elevator. It feels like I'm almost floating as I hit the button for the seventh floor and feel the elevator moving. Maybe Axel followed me, or someone else, but I don't want to see anyone right now. Even Lyme, because I killed the girl from her district she probably knew.

The elevator doors open before I expect them to, and I stumble out. I'm already set on going to my room when I freeze.

Sitting in the lounge area is a familiar face, along with two Peacekeepers. The raven-haired woman with a gem implanted in her lips stares at me. Last time I saw her was at my house, checking to see if it was suitable for President Snow to enter. The woman stands up, gazing at me with her usual frown.

"There you are, Miss Redwood," she says.

I already know what she's going to say before she speaks. I avoided Snow for this long. But I know that seeing him always comes after seeing her.

"President Snow wants to see you at his home," the woman says. She smiles.

- President Snow's Mansion -

The car stops outside the gates.

A tall, thin man with glasses and glittering pink hair slicked back opens the door. He smiles at at me. "Hello, Miss Redwood. I'm Antonius, I'll be escorting you. Welcome back to the Presidential Manor, might I add. I take it your ride here was pleasant?"

I nod and tentatively take his offered arm. He takes my hand in the crook of his elbow, guiding me towards the ornate doors to the white mansion. In the daylight it gleams blindingly, all the fanfare from my victory party gone. A fountain bubbles in the main driveway. A passing Peacekeeper nods to us. Everything seems calm and peaceful as we enter the mansion, but my heart beats faster than normal. I've entered the lion's den.

"These come from before the Dark Days," Antonius says happily. He motions to the tapestries lining the walls as we turn down a corridor. "Made by some of the finest artisans in District Eight."

"They're beautiful," I find myself saying. I barely register the rug under us or the woven creations along the walls. I expect us to keep going to wherever it is President Snow has his office, but instead Antonius stops at two glass doors.

He smiles down at me, as if dropping me off to see a friend. "I'll leave you here. When you're ready to return, I'll come collect you again." He lets go of my arm, reaching over to open the glass doors. A wave of humid air rushes out to meet me, along with the sweet smell of roses.

My hands start shaking. I form them into fists, keeping them at my sides, determined not to show an ounce of fear. Snow wants to intimidate me, intimidate all of us victors. I won't let him. I step into the room and Antonius shuts the doors behind me. We both know his comment about when you're ready to return is a joke. If that was the case, I'd be sprinting back to the car right now. No, I can leave only when Snow tells me to.

All around me, rows and rows of roses stretch out under a vaulted glass ceiling. Sunlight shines down to light up all the bright blues, dark reds, buttery yellows, and pure white flowers. The smell is even stronger than the roses that grow back home. I try to breathe through my mouth. It's like President Snow is all around me here, on each too-sweet blossom.

"Are you enjoying being a mentor, Miss Redwood?"

I turn. Behind the nearest bush of light pink roses, President's Snow's shiny blue eyes watch me. He adjusts the scissors in his hand, snipping at an errant leaf. He and I both know the answer, but I try to pull my shoulders back. "It's a lot different to being in District Seven."

President Snow smiles. "Yes, it appears so." He focuses on the rose before looking over at me. "You can come closer, I don't bite. I won't keep you long. You have my word."

He's the most dangerous person in all of Panem. This morning I was in a room of killers, but he's much worse than any of them. Don't let them intimidate you. Maybe it's time I took my own advice. So I walk over to him as if we were friends, and I stand a foot away, close enough to see all the delicate petals on the beautiful rose in his hands.

"Do you remember our friend, Mr. Carus Cardew?" President Snow asks.

I swallow. I'm not intimidated. "Yes"

"He's asked me if he could take you on a night out soon," Snow says. He snips another leaf off the thorny rose stem. "I gave him my permission, of course."

"Of course," I echo.

"Do you remember what we agreed?" he asks.

I'm quiet for a moment. I meet his cold eyes when I open my mouth again. "You want me to entertain him."

President Snow smiles with his puffy lips. "Ah, there we are. You're a quick learner, Miss Redwood. Such a good trait to have." He leans a bit closer, and for a moment I think I smell blood over the sweet roses. "I expect to hear him tell me nothing except that he would love to see you again. Do you think you can manage that?"

My throat tightens. "Yes," I get out through gritted teeth.

"Very good," Snow says, leaning away and gazing lovingly at the rose in his fingers. It's beautiful, but I can't help thinking it hasn't bloomed entirely yet. He's picked it too early. "I know you think me a cruel man. But I'm simply maintaining the order necessary to keep everything in balance. You and the other victors play an important part in the balance. The Capitol plays another." He turns to me, holding out the pink flower. "Do take care."

I move robotically, taking the flower. I don't have to ask to know that was my dismissal. I turn, retracing my steps from the greenhouse, doing everything I can not to sprint. Like he said, Antonius is waiting for me once I walk back into the air-conditioned hallway of the mansion. He takes my arm again, and I feel like I'm leaning on him too much, but he doesn't complain. As we leave the front doors, back into the heat of the Capitol in the summer, I throw the rose to the ground.

I'm silent in the car as it moves through the bustling streets of the city. I barely look out the window. My eyes stay fixed on my hands, and I try to forget the smell of the rose garden. I fly through the lobby of the Training Center as soon as they stop the car.

In the elevator, I tangle my fingers in my hair, screwing my eyes shut so hard I see stars.

When I step onto the seventh floor, Ilis looks up from his seat on a chaise lounge. He points a gloved hand at a nearby table. On it sits a massive bouquet full of green and blue flowers I can smell from here, but anything is better than roses. For a moment, I think the bouquet is for Ilis, but then he holds out a small card. On it, written in fancy black script, is my name.

"This just came a few minutes ago!" the Capitol escort says, his lips pulled in a massive smile.

I do my best to smile, forcing myself to reach for the card. It's fancy, thick paper, with a handwritten note on the inside.

My dearest Fern,

I would be delighted if you would join me tomorrow night for a dinner. There's a little place I know called the Elysium, and I think you would love it. I will have my driver pick you up at seven o'clock. I would do it myself, but I don't want to draw too much attention to you. We Capitol citizens do love our victors.

Your friend,

Carus

My stomach pitches. I pinch the card with two fingers, not wanting any more of my skin to come in contact with his writing. Something tells me Carus wrote this himself, instead of using an Avox like so many others would. But I know I'm not in a position to refuse. So when Ilis looks at me expectantly, I try to give a coy shrug and smile.

"Just a friend," I say with a wink.

- Training Center, Floor 7 -

Bole and Lauren return in the evening, both frowning, and head straight to their rooms to take showers. Lauren spares a glance to nod at me on the couch before vanishing down the hall.

I hum. "Axel?"

"Yeah?" he asks, next me on the plush couch. He doesn't bother to look up from the tablet in his hands. Every now and then, he flicks through a profile of potential sponsors. They won't be truly necessary until interview night, he already told me. After the training scores and interviews we'll know where our tributes stand with potential sponsors.

"Remember this morning?"

He finally pauses, glancing over at me. It takes a moment for recognition to spark in his eyes. "That look between them?"

I bob my head. "Think we should mention it? What if they're... you know..."

His dark brows knit together. "You think they're a couple?"

"Maybe," I murmur. "I mean, they're the same age, they might've been in the same school together."

"I think the chances of them being together are insanely small," Axel says quickly. He looks back down at the tablet, and I don't bring up the conversation again.

Once our tributes return, changed into casual clothing for dinner, smelling like concoctions of shampoos from the Capitol shower, we all sit down for dinner. Gallus and Decima have joined us, just like last night. Ilis chatters away loudly with Decima before the first course even arrives. I've never spent much time with Decima, even last year when she sat next to Timber at dinner. With her voluminous blue hair and the crystal stars implanted next to her eyes, she's much more... Capitol-looking that Gallus. Johanna hates her. She blames the stylist for keeping up our forty-years-of-trees tradition going in the Tribute Parade.

"I think that flamingo feathers would go with anything!" Decima says, sweeping her hand dramatically.

Ilis huffs. "Thank you! Gallus, you're outnumbered."

"I won't hear a word of it," my stylist responds simply.

Lauren eats her fish, peering curiously over at them like it's one of the puppet shows in the District 7 square. The thought of puppets looking like our Capitol team makes my lips twitch into a smile. Using that momentum, I turn to Lauren and Bole. Axel already tried getting Bole to chat about training but he got one-word answers back for most of them.

"Did you talk to any of the other tributes?" I ask.

Lauren chews thoughtfully. She glances over at Bole before looking back at me. "I didn't know we should talk with the others. None of them really seemed open to it." Her face darkens. "The Careers were loud at lunch. They were acting all obnoxious."

"They did that my year, too. They're trying to mess with your head," Axel says.

Lauren peers at me, blinking her bark-brown eyes once. I remember the train yesterday. Don't let them intimidate you. She had lifted her chin. I won't.

"That pair from Twelve was stuck together," Bole mutters. He shakes his head. "They were laughing at lunch like best friends."

"They were holding hands on the chariot," Lauren replies.

I frown. The image of Haymitch Abernathy sober in the Victor's Lounge comes back, along with Axel surprised that he didn't have a bottle in his hand. The Girl on Fire already seems to have a strategy going. She got Panem's sympathy by volunteering for her sister, and then got the Capitol's attention with her fiery chariot entrance. Maybe Haymitch is getting hopeful she could finally break District 12's bad luck streak.

Axel must realize the same thing because he looks at me, his face stony.

Bole sighs, stabbing a vegetable on his plate. "They were going around together too. Like one of those couples back at school that's so obsessed they're always stuck together."

I'm about to respond and suggest the strategy, but Ilis laughs.

He taps his fork on his plate in thought. "Speaking of couples." He turns to smile knowingly at me, and my blood runs cold. "Fern got a certain bouquet today from a special someone. Our newest victor has an admirer in the Capitol."

I can feel the blood rising to my face as everyone else turns to look at me. The air seems to turn thick in the room, heat crawling up my neck, making my tunic feel tight and constricting. Even the Avox in the corner lets their downturned gaze flit towards me. Six pairs of eyes stare, watching as I sit there, silent with a potato stuck on the end of my fork.

"Um." I reach for my glass of water, stalling. I threw the bouquet away before realizing that might've been a bad idea. So I'd shoved it under my bed and tried to forget it, at least until tomorrow when I'd have to see Carus Cardew again. "I... It's just a friend, Ilis, like I said." I give a laugh but it's flat and unconvincing.

Ilis winks just like I had. "Oh, no need to play coy with us. We won't tell anyone." He turns to Lauren and Bole. "Right, children?"

The two tributes both pull the same disgusted look, like he just asked them if he could spit in their food. But then they turn back to me, both of their expressions expectant. I know how it sounds. I know how it looks. The victors sometimes take up flings in the Capitol, and it gets plastered all over the media for a bit. I'm sure they expected it of me too, but not during their training for the Games. Now it must look like I've been traipsing around flirting while they're trying to learn how to stay alive.

I stare down at my plate. "I'm meeting him tomorrow."

Ilis beams triumphantly. "Gallus, you'll be busy designing something tonight!"

I don't bother to look over at my stylist as he starts loftily discussing the matter with Decima and Ilis. I don't even look over at Lauren, even though I can feel her eyes boring holes into the top of my head. Instead, I turn to look at Axel beside me. I immediately regret it.

His gray eyes stare at me, his face slightly stunned. But then his eyes narrow the slightest bit, as if he should've been expecting this. Like he should've known what was going to happen. Maybe he can guess what President Snow asked me, or maybe he thinks I've been talking to a Capitol citizen. Either way, I can see how his jaw tightens.

And then he looks away.

"So," he says to our tributes, "how's the food?"

Axel doesn't look at me the rest of dinner, and I avoid my tributes' gazes. Axel is the first to leave the table a half hour later, wishing Lauren and Bole goodnight with a smile. He pushes his chair in before the Avox can do it for him. "Goodnight, Fern," he says, walking around the table towards the hall.

"Night, Axel," I say quietly.

I don't have to turn to know he isn't looking at me.

- Training Center, Floor 7 -

My plate rises up towards the sunlight of the arena.

Air rushes up to meet me as I emerge in a deep-red desert, desolate except for shrubs underneath a pink sky. For a moment, I look around for the cornucopia. Surely it must be here. The bloodbath is supposed to happen first. The Games are supposed to begin.

I turn to find another podium to my right. I squint, watching pink sunlight glint off a glass tube encasing it.

A girl rises up into the glass tube, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. I know who it is even before she turns to face me.

"Lexi?" I say.

If she hears me, she doesn't react. She just stares at me, her big blue eyes blank.

And then blood starts to bubble up from the metal plate underneath her shoes. I'm rooted to my podium in shock as the blood fills up the tube faster and faster, up to Lexi's ankles, then her knees, rising and rising before my eyes.

"Lexi!" I shout.

She startles, as if hearing me for the first time made her notice the blood, and beats her fists against the glass tube. She's screaming, tears running down her face, and I realize that it's my name she's calling. But the blood keeps rising, up to her stomach, deep red, sparkling under the pink sun.

I go to step off my podium, but a blast from my left makes me whip my head. The boy from 6 explodes on his podium, blood soaking the metal where he stood, and Trolley sobs from somewhere I can't see. Have they been there this whole time? Where are the other tributes? I turn, staring down at the burnt earth around my podium hiding explosives. If I step off, I'll die too.

Lexi sobs as the blood reaches her shoulders. She reaches her stained hands up, smearing scarlet across the glass tube. Her mouth moves, and somehow I know she's saying my name again, begging me to save her.

"Lexi!" I sob, crouching onto my platform. Where is the gong? Where is the gong to let me jump off? No one's supposed to die yet. The Games haven't started yet.

The blood rises until it's soaking her ponytail, up to her neck. Lexi cranes her head back, smacking her palms on the glass.

I look around the desert and realize with a start that the earth isn't burnt red, it's blood. It's red from all the blood.

"Fern!"

I turn in time to see the blood rising above Lexi's eyes. The top of her head sinks below the blood, her hands still beating on the glass above her.

I scream and throw myself off my podium. The world explodes into blood and fire.

I open my eyes, shaking.

Darkness surrounds me as I sit up. It's nighttime again in the arena, and Tide or Cleo, even Glamour, could come out of nowhere. I need something to defend myself with, something sharp. Where are my axes?

And then Axel is there, his hands encircling my wrists as I'm reaching around for wherever my axes might be. His skin is warm, making me flinch. Somewhere in the back of my head, I see Vis' face and feel the elevator moving. The door is open, and soft gold light from the hallway falls into my room, casting odd shadows across Axel's face.

Another figure I recognize as Finnick Odair appears, arms folded, leaning against the doorframe. Another person appears, Haymitch Abernathy, his cheeks sucked in like he's thinking about something too hard. My throat constricts in shame. It's just like on the train. At least Lauren and Bole aren't here this time, watching their mentor devolve into nightmares. But having the victors witness it just seems worse somehow. I wish Finnick and Haymitch weren't here. Why are they even over? It has to be the middle of the night. I don't even want Axel here, looking at me like he is, like I'm fragile.

"It was just a nightmare," Axel murmurs to me. He slowly removes his hands, letting mine drift towards the back of my head.

There's no bandage there. No wound from the arena, none from the cornucopia. I've kicked all the bed covers in different ways so that it's become like a messy silk nest. I can feel the cold sweat plastering my short hair to my neck and making my pajama top stick to my back. Silence settles around us, practically deafening. In the quiet, I can hear the sound of Lexi banging on the glass tube in my nightmare.

I try to draw in a breath, but it's like all the air has been vacuumed out of the room. I can smell the iron tang of blood all of a sudden. I stiffen, trying not to breathe. Maybe this is still all a nightmare. Maybe I'm not even awake. Maybe I'm back home, the morning before the reaping, and my name will never be called.

"Your nose is bleeding," Axel says quietly. He looks around for a tissue.

I barely register the words as the hot blood runs down over my lips. I lift a hand, feeling the slick liquid pumped from my heart paint my fingers. I've seen enough blood for a lifetime, so I'm grateful for the darkness of my room.

Axel gets up, searching. "Fern, are there tissues here?"

I don't respond. I don't want him to be here. Not him. Not after how he looked at me at dinner, when I know he knew. He knows. I can still remember months ago when he left to go to the Capitol, drinking before he left, not able to meet my eye. Not he won't even look at me.

An elderly woman hobbles into the room with a cane. She says something to Finnick, but I can't understand her garbled speech. He leans close, saying something quiet, and then Finnick gives me one last look before leaving. Haymitch follows close on his heels.

Mags pulls a handkerchief from her robe pocket and dabs it at my bloody nose. She gives me a smile, the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth deepening. Her brown eyes don't look at me like I'm delicate, full of pity. Instead they're warm, like I'm her own granddaughter who's just woken up from a bad dream. A normal nightmare, not one with children drowning in blood.

Once all the nosebleed is gone, Mags leans over and takes me in her arms. I don't resist and lay my head on her shoulder. She smells like lilac and saltwater, a welcome chance from iron. She just holds me, humming some song that must be from her home. I don't need any reminders of District 4 right now, but I don't want to let Mags go. I feel like I might fall apart if she did.

It takes an hour for me to calm down completely. Mags eventually tucks a piece of my sweat-slicked hair behind my ear in such a maternal way that it makes me almost burst into tears. She's so gentle when I know she must have seen me kill Tide and Cleo in the Games. She may have even known Tide. What if she was his mentor last year?

"I'm sorry," I whisper, not sure if it's for Tide or if it's for keeping her here for so long.

But she just shakes her head, and pats her shell necklace. Mags fluffs my pillow with her aged hands, pulling the silken blankets around me and tucking them in. She leaves the lamp on for me before leaving, going the same way that Finnick and Haymitch left to. For the first time, I realize Axel has left. Good. I don't want him here anymore. That's twice now he's woken me up from my nightmares, pulling me out of my own mind. Part of me wonders sleepily if he ever gets nightmares too. Does he still see the Games every night?

I wonder if, after all these years, Mags still gets nightmares. Do the Games ever leave someone's memory? Somehow I already know the answer.