Tobias POV
What on earth did I just see?
I decided to climbed up Tris's window after I arrived home from the beach, just talk to her without fighting anymore. I was really worried about her and the scar I saw today.
But out of all the things, I didn't expect to see that. What was that?
I replay the last few minutes in my head again.
Tris wasn't in her room, her lights were on but I couldn't see her. There was movement across the hall in the other bedroom that her parents used as a guest room. But it's not a guest room anymore, instead of a bed I see 2 cribs. I hear crying, I walk closer to the doorway to see better. What I see is Tris holding a baby, I think she's feeding it.
It all happened so fast.
It's now been 20 minutes i think but it feels like hours. I'm pacing up and down the small area between her bed and wardrobe. I can't get the image out of my head. Tris with a child, feeding it. It could only mean one thing. Tris is a mother. But where is it's father.
Her door opens and she walks inside and closes the door. She doesn't say anything. Just closes her eyes and leans against the door with her back. She slides down and sits on the floor. Moments pass and I realizes she's not going to talk.
I walk over to her and kneel down next to her.
"Tris" I say.
"What are you doing here." She finally talks.
"Don't change the subject, I came here to talk to you about what I saw at the beach today but I think I've worked that out on my own." She seems confused but doesn't dare discuss it further. "Can you explain what the hell I just saw in there." I ask now fully serious. I've had enough of this.
"Tobias I…I" she pauses and takes a deep breath and release. "I honestly don't even know where to begin!"
I think for a second. When she left Chicago 2 years ago, she wasn't pregnant, it would of happen after she left. I need to know what happened between then to now. I place my hands in hers and pull her up. I walk her over to her bed and she sits down against the pillows and I sit opposite her.
"Just start from when you left."
She starts to cry into a pillow.
"Tris" I say when she slows down.
"Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did." She finally says.
"Then why did you, Tris?" I ask. "What happen that next day, you refused to speak to me."
"Tobias, that night, that night changed everything."
"Why, how. I left here that morning thinking everything was ok."
"That's just it, it wasn't ok. I loved you so much Tobias but I wasn't ready."
"What, I never pressured you into anything Tris. Don't you dare…."
"Stop, it's not what I'm saying. Just listen and let me finish." She says and holds my hands. I've missed her touch so much. But right now I can't think about her hands. I let her continue.
"I don't regret that night" She stops and looks at me.
"I loved you so much, but when I woke up and you won't next to me I started to panic. I don't know why but I realized I wasn't ready. I started having a panic attack. It felt like someone was choking me and I couldn't breathe." She says touching her throat like she couldn't breathe again.
"It was my mum who found me and calmed me down before I passed out. She had no idea what was going on and neither did I at the time. I didn't go school that day and I went to the doctors with my mum. It was my doctor who told me it was a panic attack and that I shouldn't stress so much and should stay away from whatever cause it." She looks back up at me.
"I know it wasn't your fault and you had no idea what was going on, I know it would have been the right thing to talk to you about this but every time I saw your name appear on my phone screen I tense up and begin having another panic attack."
"My parents were going crazy, no one knew what to do. I cried every night, not because of what was happening but because I also missed you and missed your voice." She blushes and looks away.
"Tris, you should have told me. I thought you didn't want me anymore."
"I know, I know how it all must of looked to you and I never blamed you for it, until…Until I saw you, that day."
"What day." I don't ever remember seeing her, the last time was that morning, here, in her room.
"Let me finish…Two weeks had passed, and I started to calm down, my parents won't as worried either. I woke up full of energy that day, I discussed it with my parents and we all agreed I was well enough to go school.
I rocked up to school early knowing you'll be there early too and we could talk before everyone showed up. It was in the hallway that I saw you." She stops and slowly calms her breath.
"It was when I saw you with Molly." She looks up at me. "You were kissing her."
"What?...Oh…no, no, no. no. It's not what you think." I stand up straight giving her my full attention. "You have to believe me, she kissed me."
"Really, it didn't look like you tried to resist."
"Tris…" she cuts me off.
"Do you know what that was like, after finally having the courage to talk to you and explain, it broke me Tobias."
I don't try to explain, I know what it most of looked like to her. Molly had cornered me near my locker that morning and I was so miserable after Tris had ignored me that I didn't pusher her away.
"Seeing you with someone else, it made me realized I didn't mean anything, you got what you wanted from me and were moving on to the next girl. I was lucky Caleb was with me. He knew the signs of a panic attack and knew what to do. He brought me home. My parents were at work so he called my Aunt Tori. She rushed over but by the time she come I was in the bathroom throwing up. At first I didn't realize, but after explaining the whole story of you and me to Tori, it all start to make sense." She pause again and looks at me.
"You see my Aunty ran to the store and bought a pregnancy test. She made me do the test. It was positive that day Tobias."
I stand up and start pacing up and down the small area in her room again. Is she saying what I think she's saying. Does she mean.
"I was freaking out." She continues. "I didn't know what to do. I was pissed at you Tobias, you were off living your life chasing other girls and I was at home freaking out, hyperventilating and panicking. I never felt so alone. By the end of the day the doctors called it "post traumatic depression" Apparently me cutting myself didn't help my situation. It was Tori who suggested to my parents to give me a break away. It was true about her job situation but she suggested I go with her to calm down and get away from my life here for a bit."
I stop pacing and look at her, a bit is a few weeks, not years. She realizes my reaction but she continues.
"By that stage I was so depressed and doctors were filling me up with so many pills. I'm surprised they didn't overdose me. It took months for me to snap out it but by then I was so big and heavy I couldn't come back, how would I explain things to you, to everyone. So I decided that I'll stay with Tori and give them up for adoption. But when they arrived and I saw Nate for the first time something just hit me. I couldn't give him away, there was no way. Then Evie, my little miracle she was so tiny, cause there was no room for her to grow inside me she was having difficulties breathing after the birth." I start to feel myself tear up and I see she is also crying.
"I felt like it was my fault, if only I was taller maybe she'll have more room, it was then I realized no one else would care for her as much as her real mother, so I stood by them and prayed for her to pull through." She is crying so much now that I could barely understand her.
After some time she continues.
"Evie in the end pulled through, but still with some difficulties but doctors are hopeful. It took me some time after their birth to settle and find myself a routine. I started to feel normal again. I didn't need the anti-depressions anymore and it was then my parents made me come back and deal with things." She looks at me and waits for me to speak.
I don't know what to think. She's just dropped a bombshell on me and thinks its all ok.
"Why didn't you tell me." She doesn't answer me so I repeat myself louder this time.
"How old are they?" I ask a new question.
"14 months. They were born on April 6th." She says.
They've had their first birthday already, I wasn't even a part of it. I start to pace again. Is this really happening I think to myself. Am I dreaming, cause if I am I need to wake up now.
"I'm a father Tris, you had no right to take that away from me. You've waited all this time to tell me, all the times I've asked you why you left, you lied to me, said it was cause your Aunty didn't want to leave on her own. God even the times I come over, there were right there. Did it ever cross your mind to tell me this." I'm crying now. She has taken a dream of mine away from me and crushed it.
"What is their names?" I ask and turn to look at her. And I hope to god I don't hear the wrong answer.
"Nathanial Andre, I named him after my parents. She is Evelyn Victoria after your mum and Tori."
"Their last name" I scream and I see her jump.
"Prior." She whispers and doesn't look at me.
I lose it now and punch a hole in her wall.
"Will you calm down." She grabs my hand and I pull it away from her.
"This is me calm Tris." I yell at her. This is me calm I repeat it to myself over and over again, I begin to pace again too.
"Tobias, I've wanted to tell you so badly, I did but I know how much you want to get away from here from this city, from your father, I didn't want to give you a reason to stay." She finally says.
"Don't Tris…You don't know me, you don't know what I want…I want…I wanted to be a fucken part of my kids first birthday." I'm now screaming so loud at her.
"You took that away from me and your took that away from them." I starting to calm down now.
"What kind of mother takes that away from them?" I say not caring about her feelings anymore. I need to crush her as much as she's crushed me.
"Do you know what it's like growing up without two parent?" I ask her. She looks away from me and I see more tears running down her face.
"No, it isn't very nice as you can imagine it." I reveal. "Not only have you taken them away from me but you've taken something that precious to every child and you've taken that away from them."
"Tris…" her parents come in her room. They've must of heard all the shouting. "If everyone ok?" they ask her and then see me.
"Tobias, is everything ok?" They look at me then look at Tris who's crying and doing some weird breathing thing, her mum walks up to her but before she reachs her I say.
"I will never forgive you for this." I leave her room. And don't turn back. I'm about to reach the front door downstairs when I hear her dad
"Tobias, wait." I turn to him.
"You knew and never once thought to tell me."
"I've wanted to son, but she wasn't well and I didn't want to complicate things anymore." He say.
"I've always had a lot of respect for you sir, but this, this is below you." I say.
"Tobias, you'll see now that you'll do anything to protect your daughter, just like I did." He replies.
"Not if the guy I'm hiding things from is that one who could of saved all the trouble." I turn and leave.
Right now I've lost all respect for him. For all the Prior family.