AN

Ok, so this one's short again because its a different POV, but the next will follow very shortly and hopefully make up for it.

I'm getting that some of you feel poor Jake is being mistreated and your missing his and Leah's interaction. All I ask is that you trust me, this story has always been heading towards one ending and there is a reason to my madness and every single thing that is happening.

Anyway, hope you like it and thank you as always to everyone who reviewed.

Sam's POV

I didn't know what to do!

Emily's emotions were all over the place and I was paranoid about everything. We had doubled patrols and while I was overprotective on the best of days, with Emily pregnant and Claire's party spoiler, I was becoming even more obsessive.

To top it off, Leah had been back a while now, and I was just as worried about her after the skinning. It only enforced how precious she still was to me. I'd screwed everything up. I couldn't believe I was going to attack her last week.

Maybe Jake was right, if I hadn't mentioned the god-mother thing everything would have been better. I couldn't help it though, me and Emily wanted to do something for her. I even thought showing her the scan might help. Boy was I wrong!

It was habit that me and Emily regularly discussed Leah. It sounded unhealthy, but we knew the day we fell in love that we would hurt her. We just never realised it would destroy her. That knowledge wasn't something that would ever go away. It would be with us as long as we lived, so we dealt with it openly and together.

The hardest part of everything, was that I couldn't blame anyone but myself. Emily was as innocent as Leah; she just got the good end of the stick, or the worse, depending how you look at it. At least Leah was physically scar free.

I often upset Emily talking like this. Emily loved Leah like a sister and she loved me because of the devotion I showed her. I became everything she could ever want because of the imprint. Sadly, in her head she believed I had always wanted Leah and I just never got a choice in it.

I would never know either way, but it didn't matter. The damage was done the minute I phased and there was no going back. I became a monster, and despite my attempt to break away from Leah, I was too weak and selfish. I couldn't find a way to fight it; she was north and I was the compass needle. Wherever I went, my heart ended up pointing right back at her.

Every minute of the day I had hated myself. Every time I looked at her I was disgusted with myself, but I couldn't let her go. I put her in danger every second I was with her. I even proved I was an animal the night I abused her body, and then, like a coward, I left her sobbing in her room. I was so ashamed. I lost all control that night under her pleading declarations of love; to ensure I truly broke her, the next day I met Emily. It was my darkest day and my black heart then appropriately matched the colour of my fur.

It was sickening; while Leah remained north, Emily became my gravity, and I knew which pull was stronger.

As a result of our combined guilt, me and Emily vowed that we would never waste our relationship. Emily and I would worship each other. If we didn't, Leah's shattered life would be for nothing. We had followed through on our vow so far and lived our lives to the fullest. All the while we tried to manage some damage control, but it often failed. Leah becoming a wolf had complicated everything, and it was easier to let her think I hated her, than to confuse her knowing I still loved her, but it just wasn't enough and in the same way as before.

I couldn't help rubbing things in her face either, we were the pack centre and everything was expected to be celebrated. We traditionally had ceremonies for just about everything. Emily in particular, found it hard putting on a show when Leah was present, but what choice did we have. Between house warming's, pack engagements, birthdays and holidays it was impossible to not hurt her.

As soon as we found out Emily was pregnant, we decided to at least wait out her first trimester before we publicly announced it. Leah's inability to bare children was the biggest issue we had faced. When she was away, we decided that we wanted her to be god-mother and share a part of our gift. There's no else we would want as a role model to our child. We both knew too well who she used to be.

Since Leah turned it down and stepped up to being alpha, things had changed. Then, after the kitchen and birthday incident, things had changed even further. As a result, me and Emily had several more long talk. This brought me to my current situation and the reason why I was standing in the pouring rain, while Collin and Brady were at mine eating my wife's cooking.

I took a deep breath and lifted the rusty door knocker. It had been on the Clearwater's house as long as I could remember. The door opened immediately, and I was pleased to see Seth. Unfortunately, he looked startled to see me.

"Is Leah in?"

"Hell no! You're not upsetting her in her own house Sam! I won't let you. You have no authority here." He was shaking his head protectively.

"It's pack stuff." It wasn't a lie. I knew he could hardly refuse me on these grounds. It was a low blow, but it contained a large element of truth.

Seth pointed his finger and looked at me untrustingly. "If I let you in there's no funny business! I won't get in the way like Cris did if she ties to kill you. I might even help her. I'm fed up of you guys messing her around!"

I didn't get his last comment, but I was glad when he stood back and let me in. I hadn't been in the house for years. I wasn't exactly welcome and since Sue died, even Emily stayed away.

The interior had changed quite a bit and everything was redecorated. It wasn't in an expensive way, but they had painted the walls and refurbished the furniture. I noticed a few personal effects now stood out and Sue and Harry's stuff was more subtly placed around the room.

I checked to see if Sue's hideous plate collection was still on the wall. It wasn't and in its place was a drawing of a beautiful grey wolf howling at a blood red moon. It looked to be set at our cliff jumping spot. The eye of the wolf drew me in; it was human and the anguish it spoke made me draw my breathe. It was Leah's work alright.

A voice came from the doorway behind me, "Kind of morbid huh?" Leah was staring at the painting.

"No, it's very poignant. You always were a good artist." I reminded her.

"Yeah well, I was a lot of things. What do you want? Seth said it was pack stuff?" Leah folded her arms and made sure I felt uncomfortable.

Well here it goes. "I'm following Jake."

She gave me a sarcastic look. "Denali's a bit cold for you and Emily isn't it?"

"What? No! I'm quitting." It hit me what she meant by Denali.

"Why?" she questioned, as if it wasn't obvious.

I went with the easiest explanation. "You're going to be alpha right?" She nodded as I spoke. "Well I'm stepping down; you're free of me."

"Don't you dare . . . I will not be used as a reason for you to quit. I've managed the last nine years with ugly mug around," she threatened.

"I'm not, me and Emily want out. With everything lately it's too much; we don't want to raise - we don't want to be here and you've made it clear you don't want to be a part of our family. There's nothing left here for us. We've found a little house to rent on the Makah Reservation near Emily's relatives." It had been an option before, but now it was set.

Leah's face was unreadable. "What about your pack? Your timing's pretty shit. Crap hit's the fan and all the alphas jump ship."

"You know it's not that simple Leah. Anyway, Jared's stepping up like you have. In time, he and Paul might retire, but there are enough wolves to fill our shoes. You know where my priorities lie, Leah." I thought of the danger my wife was in and the next generation that would be joining us soon.

"When?" she said bluntly.

"In a month or two. I'm taking a back seat immediately. We're going to try and get Jared to start a new pack in the next few weeks. At least then you'll know if it works too."

If it did Jake could also break away cleanly.

Leah just shrugged. "Right, well, if that's it, show yourself out." Her arms were still crossed and her expression blank.

"Yeah, of course." But instead of walking backwards, I moved towards her and hesitated. I saw a flicker of emotion across her face and stopped my hand from caressing her cheek.

"I really am sorry I couldn't be the man for you Leah. I'm letting you go now. Me and Emily will keep out of your way. It's the only thing we have left to give you. I just hope you find your peace . . . . It's over."