AN

Second update for you guy!

Cris POV

Leah got to the bottom of the box and finally read the letter. I was sure she had gone through every emotion. Although I noted how she fought back the tears and held herself together with dignity (and occasional high levels of anger).

Of course, I had tried my hardest to be supportive the whole way through; the minute I saw the picture of Sam, I finally comprehended how difficult and complicated her life was. The incidents and arguments I had witnessed between the packs suddenly started to come together; fate sure hadn't been kind to the La Push wolves.

It was now somewhat easier to understand why she struggled to open the box in the first place, and I was glad that I took the choice away from her. I also admired the fact that she was trying to face her demons so that she could be a better alpha and move on with her life.

I admit, the experience of watching her life story unfold had been like reading a book; each page revealed more of her and gave me an insight into everything about her. I was in no doubt, I didn't want to give Leah my pity, I wanted to give her my respect.

"I think your very admirable," I said sincerely, catching her eye.

I was being honest, and yet she looked at me with her signature scowl while pacing the room and wiping away her tears.

"Yeah whatever . . . it's weird looking back. I just wish mum was here so I could kill her myself." She laughed very lightly as she started to put everything back in the box. "Look Cris, thanks for this. Unfortunately, I'm not sure it really helped. I was stupid thinking it would be a quick fix for everything. It's opened my eyes up though, that's for certain. Not all things are lost and some are better bloody staying that way." Her face faltered, "Can I be honest?"

"Always," I replied curiously. She wasn't someone that asked permission often.

"This isn't me." She sat down next to me and motioned at herself. "I don't do emotional stuff; well, I do anger really well actually, but not this. I want to change; I don't want to be this person and hate, but I don't know how. I want to be a good alpha . . . a happy alpha."

I thought over my own past before I answered her; "Honestly, it's not hard. I think wanting to change is the biggest hurdle. I wished Corey would want to grow up a little; it might make my life easier." My brother was talking to me and things were getting better, but our relationship was still fragile.

Leah sighed, "Christ, I forgot to ask how that was even going. He'll be fine. If there's one thing I know about, it's how to drag out a mood. He'll come around in his own time, let him get on with it."

"I know, I just miss him. You're the only person that seems to grasp it; he's all I've got. To everyone else I'm just Cris: alpha. I don't like being the serious one, but I have to be, otherwise the pack doesn't work. My brother is supposed to see me as more." I knew I was lonely.

I was relieved when Leah smiled again. "I think you proved you aren't always serious orboringwhen you jumped off that cliff. It took Jake at least five run ups. Finally, Sam and Jared had enough and threw him off."

It was an amusing vision and opened up a subject I was curious about; "So what's going on with Jake and you right now? I've seen you avoiding him. Is it connected to him trying to rip my throat out the other day? I don't necessarily want the nitty gritty details, but I like to know what to expect if I'm on the receiving end of something."

Leah's cheeks flushed. "Yeah, about that; he tends to vent at the wrong people. We aren't really talking right now."

I gave her a questioning look and she continued.

"He complicated things, so I'm giving us space."

She used the C word again, 'complicated', and that was currently all the insight she was going to give me. It made it pretty clear something had happened; the only way to complicate a friendship was to throw in feelings.

"Well it seems like you've gone from one alpha to another." I couldn't help the cheeky grin that spread across my face and she threw a cushion at me.

"Don't get a big head, or I'll have to bring you down to earth!" She relaxed as she threatened me. "It's weird you know. I haven't felt this easy around anyone for ages; it feels surprisingly good."

"Preconceptions . . . ."

She looked confused at my statement.

"Preconceptions, everyone has them about us. We made ourselves who we are to survive and now we can't break the mould. You've had enough pity and hate to last you a lifetime and I'm just totally mundane according to everyone, but we aren't judging each other."

I grabbed her mug and went to the kitchen to make some fresh coffee.

She followed me, lazily leaning against the fridge. "So what do we do? I can't change for so many reasons, it's a vicious circle." Leah was looking at me for all the answers.

"I've no idea, maybe we should both just stop trying so hard. Come on, we've been serious enough for tonight, let's be juvenile; how about a game?"

I made my way back to the lounge and tossed her a controller. As I flicked on the TV, her face lit up.