To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Are you trying to tell me you're actually jealous?
Really!
Are you actually jealous of me, for once? Or my totally hot boyfriend, because of two things – he's totally hot and he's got me? Speak for yourself. Or not. Because you're paralysed with jealousy and therefore cannot speak coherently from now onwards. Score.
Well… As for the time I said I won't get a boyfriend, I really thought I wouldn't. Until Luke came along. Yeah, that's his name. He's just… Been very nice and all. Plus he's very attractive, so he definitely gets points for that. So I take that back. I take everything I've said about finding males repulsive back, because some of them aren't at all. In fact, I find some of them very charming. So I guess my work on relationships begins here, starting now. Despite my obvious commitment issues. But sheesh! It's the effort that counts, isn't it?
…And I thought you didn't want to know about work? Because that's where I met him. We don't work together, though, no. He just dropped by a long time ago to fix the lights in the hallway… Yeah, he's also a handyman. But that's just… That's not to be counted. I guess. As in, it doesn't matter what he does, or how much he earns, to make me fall in love with him, because I already have and I am the living, breathing proof that there's hope for single American girls in England.
So, I told you you'd be jealous.
R
P.s. REALLY!?
To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: I totally am NOT.
I totally am not jealous. I am so not jealous, in fact, that I'm going down to the bar tonight to pick up some 10 out of 10 chicks, and bang them. All to prove I'm not jealous.
He's a handyman! No offense, Robin, but you can do much better than a handyman. I don't care if he's attractive, and hot, and nice, and totally kind to you, the fact that he's a handyman means I'll always be better than him.
I mean, really! You could've picked me!
Not like I wanted you to, I mean. I was just stating something.
B
P.s. Yes, really. I'm coming to hunt you down and whisk you away from that boyfriend of yours.
To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: You totally are.
I'm tolerating your remarks about Luke right now. Because you are totally jealous and you're not even trying to hide. I'll let you off on this one.
You don't care if he's attractive, kind, nice and all that, but I do! Which is exactly why we're dating, once again.
Also, no way I'm dating you. You're not my type! You're totally not my type. And I also happen to be totally not your type as well. Not like I am suggesting we should give it a shot, because we totally should not. I was, like you, simply trying to make a point.
And the point is, we're not each other's type.
We can be each other's wingman, though. How cool would that be!?
R
P.s. Awesome, awesome, and awesome. I love you so much for doing this.