To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Were you high on crack when…
…you wrote that letter, or was I high on crack the whole time I was friends with you but only managed to think logically now and have since then decided you're a total and complete nutcase?
Calm down, you little tiger!
I know you love me, and I love you too, as a friend. As if that needed any clarification at all.
I have another suggestion: You were drunk when you wrote that email.
That has to be the only solution.
Or, unless… (Drum roll please.)
Unless you are in love with me!
I hate to say I told you so, but… I saw this coming, so… I told you so.
Right, okay, that sounded funnier in my head.
Barney!
What is with you anyway? You've been acting funny since Luke came along. (That's his name, by the way. Now remember it.) So utterly odd. I know you like to call new people you meet funny names (tolerating the 'swanky little boyfriend' right now) but this is just… Not you.
If there's anything wrong with the gang or me or just yourself, you need to tell me! Because I care for you, and I hate feeling powerless and having this weird sense of 'there's something wrong but I can't quite tell'. So I'm just putting it out there that if you're upset or anything, with anything, just tell me about it and I'll do my best to make you feel happier.
And I am so not a granny!
People here actually use the word 'toodles'. And other cute ways of saying goodbye, like 'tata' and 'adios' and my personal favourite – one I've received just yesterday from a complete stranger – 'get the hell out of here!'
…It wasn't my fault! I was only sneaking a little peek at that guy wearing a suit because… He was wearing a suit…
Okay. I'm sorry.
I mean, I love Luke and all, but I'm still the old me, and I still have those 'oh look, hot guys!' moments I've always used to have with Lily when we have a girls' night out at the bar. But you know I'll never do anything to hurt him because I think this relationship could be going somewhere so just ignore anything I said about the peeking.
Plus now I'm seeing you so soon!
This month is going to be great. Just… Incredible. I know I say this way too much, but you're still the most awesome person I know and nothing's going to change that, you know? …Actually, I'm sure you do, you egotistic bastard.
Love you too.
R (I'm not using kisses anymore! You turn everything into a competition. Right now I'm heaving a sigh so deep I'm also dramatically sliding down the back of my bedroom door, at the same time rubbing the sweat off my forehead.)