AN

Here's update part 1 of 2. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, no idea why, but hopefully you will like it too! Thanks again for all the reviews. It's also great to see people still adding my story this far in!

xxx

Leah's POV

As soon as I had caught up to the dim witted alpha I hauled him back to face me. I was livid and up for a fight so my voice was sharp and bitter, "Hey Black, you deaf?"

"Leave me alone Leah," he grunted.

"Why were you ignoring me?" I said sharply.

"Didn't hear you." He pulled his arm roughly from my grip.

"You're a pathetic liar!" I moved closer and spoke through gritted teeth. "You're a bloody wolf, so don't tell me you couldn't hear me!" I raised my voice again, "Why didn't you stop by?

There was no other reason for him to be on this road, unless he was coming to my house.

I couldn't understand his expression, he was struggling between fury and hurt. He ignored my question and asked his own. "How is it ok for you to be with him, but not me huh?" He was pointing back at the house.

So that was why he was pissed?

"That's what your problem is? How dare you!" I screeched.

"What do you expect Leah . . . you come out with all this bullshit about imprinting ruining your life when I kiss you. I'm your best friend, but you still ignore me for two weeks. Then, when you finally start talking to me, you're too busy with him, to actually acknowledge me and then . . . then . . . he's living at your house, in my room, and I see you on that porch. I saw the way you were looking at him back there, I saw you kiss him!" His words were spiteful.

"You've got some nerve! You're the imprinted one in this whole mess and you kissed me, not the other way round! He's only at my house because your precious vampires are back. Where have you been the last week huh? What was stopping you coming by? I've been doing your job, just like you asked and this is the thanks I get. Don't get all moral on me Black when you're the worst of us all!" I spat at him.

Jake couldn't retaliate, but he was still shaking. "Yeah, ok, so I'm with Nessie. I haven't seen her for months, I can't help it. I'm sorry I fucked up our friendship and I'm sorry I let you down when I promised I never would. I've just been so bloody messed up. It's completely selfish of me, but I just get angry when I see him taking my place in your life." His words were bitter.

I stood silent in the wake of his angry apology.

"He's not taking your place Jake. There's no need to be jealous; he's a nice guy." My voice was only a whisper.

"I know he's a good guy . . ." His voice broke away as his shivers stopped and he sighed, "I love you Leah, it's just not . . ."

"I know exactly what it is Jake: it's not enough. It's not in the same way you love her; I get it, trust me it's nothing new - it's always the same story." I muttered in return.

"Leah, I wish . . ." Jake paused and his hand moved out to touch me. He gently stroked my cheek, showing that all anger had faded.

"Don't Jake." I removed his hand from my face immediately and let it fall back by his side, "I wish a lot of things too. I wish the world was different, I wish I had never met Sam, I wish my parents were still here, I wish you . . . Oh hell, it doesn't even matter because this is reality, right here, right now."

"Leah . . ."

He tried to interrupt me, but I signalled him to stop.

"Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you too Jake, for what it's worth, but I've got to move past this crap. You already have your life set out before you; you have your happy ending; well I'm still finding mine and I can't do that with this conflict between us. You are still my best friend though and I don't want to lose that part of us." I forced a small smile.

"I'm sorry I've been an ass Leah. Things just get so messed up in here," he tapped his head as he spoke, "and I dragged you into it. You know it's not you, it's me."

"Don't insult me with that crap Jake. Let's just call it what it is - it's imprinting." I threw back at him.

Sugar coating reality would get us nowhere and I was finally facing up to the Jake situation. This was another crossroads and we would soon be going different ways, I could feel it.

Jake sighed heavily, "Just don't fall for him Lee; you might not see it but if he imprints he'll do exactly what me and Sam have done to you. I mean look at us; it's too much pain to bear. We shouldn't be like this; I'm sick of it all."

I understood well enough what he was saying; imprinting would always ruin my life, but it didn't matter. "It's ok Jake, he doesn't see me like that anyway and he's leaving."

A sad smile came onto his face, "He's a fool for not seeing everything you are . . . I think it's best though, you need a fresh start."

I looked away trying to keep myself together; this was exactly why I hated sympathy.

After a minute Jake looked up and down a road like he wanted to be moving. No doubt Nessie would be missing him.

"Walk with me?" he questioned.

I nodded in silence, biting my lip as thoughts of rejection flooded through me again. We walked without speaking. I was surprised when we reached the beach. We both sat down and stared at the ocean. It was funny how my feet always seemed to lead me to the same places, much like my luck.

"I'm really sorry you know. I've been a prize idiot." Jake's voice was still sad.

"What's new about that?" I nudged him with my elbow trying to drag us away from the sentimental crap.

Jake chuckled, but his eyes still didn't show any sign of happiness. I made small talk with him trying to distract us both from the present. I talked about the pack and how the boys were doing. I mentioned the phone call about my art. I even asked about Nessie and although Jake smiled it lasted only seconds as something else continued to weigh on his mind.

Finally Jake stopped nodding at the things I was saying and spoke again. "Do you realise how much time we have wasted?"

"We haven't been down here that long Jake."

If he was about to tell me he had better things to be doing I wouldn't be happy.

Jake was frowning at me. "Not today; generally. Leah, I've wasted a month without your friendship and I'm sorry. If I'm honest, as much as I don't like Cris filling my place . . . ."

I went to interrupt him; I had already explained he didn't need to be jealous of Cris. Immediately, he raised his hand to silence me. He was still my alpha and I obediently kept my mouth shut.

"I don't like Cris filling my place, but I am glad he did because I have really let you down. I truly appreciate what you've done for me Leah. You are the most giving person I know and the most underappreciated. I saw you smiling back there on that porch and I think he did that. Even if you're upset now, you haven't smiled like that in years. Don't lose yourself again." Jake flashed me a small reassuring smile.

"Jake what's going on?" I knew he was leading up to something. I knew the way he did things just like I knew the way around my house blindfolded.

"We are good now right? You are ok? Not just plastering on a fake smile? Things are getting better?" His sincerity and concern almost broke my heart, and I remembered again how much my pack really cared.

"It's all good Jake. Or at least I think it will be, which is more than I thought possible. I've got the guys - it's enough." I tried to offer a smile, but I was dreading what was coming.

"Just remember, I'll always be here if you need me - don't forget it. No more mistakes Leah." He stood up and pulled me with him into his embrace. "I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do; my timing is shit once again." The hug got tighter. "It's time you know . . . ."

I tried to pull back and look at his face, but Jake was crushing me to him now as he continued. "Me, Cris and Sam are all going. This is goodbye for a while. You're alpha now."

I felt Jake kiss my forehead as his command rippled through me and he walked away from the beach with tears in his eyes. I didn't follow, I no longer followed anyone: I was the first female alpha of La Push and, despite my earlier opinion, I was officially alone.