To: Robin Scherbatsky

From: Barney Stinson

Subject: Few things to address.

Okay. Few things to address. I've compiled a neat list since I'm an organised person. Ready?

Adios is Spanish, so technically, that does not count. You're ahead of yourself, Robin!

I'm glad I'm still the most awesome person alive in your eyes. That is the only good news I've heard all day. Apart from two minutes ago when my boss told me I could have a bigger office. That's pretty good news too.

You are totally in love with me! Your theories are utter bullshit, listen to mine. You flirt with me like a middle-schooler. Correction: You flirt with me like a lovestruck middle-schooler! How long have you even had a crush on me? Face it, Scherpoopie. You know you're only having a temporary (keyword is temporary here) boyfriend to numb your loneliness because I'm miles from where you are and you totally miss me.

Truth is…

Look, I hope this doesn't make you feel awkward or anything, because that isn't my intention and that is the worst thing you can get out of this.

But I felt as though this has to be said, so I hope you don't mind because all I am being here, really, is utterly honest.

The thing is, I feel a bit insecure after Luke came into your life because he's… It's like he's this big swooping hero and you're that beautiful lady he rescues and picks up as he flies around the sky.

And, I know.

You're still the old Robin Scherbatsky, and you haven't changed. But I've also known you for about a hundred and fifteen centuries now and I know what you're like.

And you're so in love right now.

To be truthful, I feel terrified.

I mean, of course, I'm really happy for you and all that, don't get me wrong. I'm not some jealous dude who's trying to keep you away from Luke because that's just… Not right.

It's just that his arrival had been so sudden and I guess it hit me hard, and in the bad way as well, because it's making me feel vulnerable and sceptical about a lot of things, including how our friendship could go.

Remember when Victoria dumped Ted because he wouldn't stop being friends with you?

Yeah, it's a little like this.

I mean, we've dated, and it's not awkward, but what if Luke doesn't want me to be friends with you anymore?

I don't want that to happen and I don't want you to choose.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, I feel like I'm forgettable now that he's here.

I'm sure he's a nice guy, so I'm not bashing him or anything, and he's obviously incredibly lucky to have gotten you into his life, but… Sometimes I feel as though I could lose you any minute and that sense of uncertainty is driving me insane.

I'm scared of the day you see something awesome, and instead of thinking, 'Hey! That's pretty awesome, I need to tell Barney about it!' you think, 'Hey! That's really awesome, I can't wait to tell Luke about it!'

This is what I fear.

I know it sounds selfish and I'm sorry if I've been acting up lately. I was just… Thinking.

Though never mind that.

I hope you do know that I'm really happy for you and Luke. Because I am. I truly am, from the bottom of my heart and all that crappy, cheesy stuff.

No matter whom you want to call up when you see something awesome, I just want you to know that it's okay, whomever you pick. It's not a competition and I've never expected it to be one.

So… Whew.

I'm glad I got that bad boy out of my system. That's a REALLY long email and I feel sorry for your eyes. I was totally whiny and unlike my usual self.

One thing to take away is – I love you (as a friend, duh!) no matter what you choose to do and whom you choose to be with. If Luke makes you happy, I'm happy you're happy. Okay, little birdy?

I'll see you very soon!

Love you.

B