Hi guys! I was a bit lazy to upload I will admit but I gave this chapter my all! Poll is going to be up for a week more so go on my profile and vote! Read and review and tell me what you guys think about Naruto speaking in third person. It was a suggestion so I tried it.

"thoughts"

"dialogue"

X780 December 3

Erza was currently teaching Naruto math, though it wasn't the way she normally would have. She was not yelling or being strict... And it was killing her. Why wasn't she well because of the night before.

-flashback-

Erza was sleeping peacefully with a little blonde hair boy to her chest. His head was practically stuffed into her maturing breast. Said boy began to squirm a little, then violently. He was kicking and punching in random directions. Erza was awoken by a punch to her stomach and kick to her face. How his leg reach her face she had no clue. She could tell he was having a serious nightmare. She didn't know what to do. This mother stuff is still new to her. Erza did what she did best requiped into her regular every day armor and let him punch her chest plate.

Naruto jumped into the air and released a swift "KYA! Naru sorry mama Naru promise to do math better!" Wait a minute. Did he just talk about math which she was going to teach the next day.

"Are you ok dear?" Erza asked thinking about how mothers would address there children in books that she read.

"Mama, mama! Naru will do better! Just watch! 2+2=8! See Naru's doing better!" Naruto pleaded, seemingly sure he was correct.

"Its ok. But what were you dreaming about?"

"Naru was dreaming about you..."

"Me? what could I do to scare you?"

"You were... TEACHING ME MATH!"

-flashback end-

"Yep... This is going to be a long day." She thought.

After learning how to add and subtract, Erza figured she should take Naruto to the guild, get Master Makorov to watch him and go on a quick job. She and Naruto walked by a toy store and his eyes started to wander. He saw a magic mobile toy, a dragon, and a magic spray paint bottle. Erza saw him looking at the shop window and realized, she had nothing for him to play with. "Hey Naruto, would you like a toy?" She asked.

"Yes mama! Yes! Naru wants that spray spray thing!" He pleaded with a twinkle in her eye.

"Ok I'll get it for you. Hold my hand, I wouldn't want to lose you." She said, seeing as he is so small she could barely see him, if she was looking straight ahead. As they walked into the shop, Naruto saw some awesome things, to him they were awesome. He saw a orange ball with blue stars on it, a toy T-rex, and just about any other thing you would find in a toy store. But he was going for the spray paint. He didn't know why but he felt that it was calling him. Erza mean while looked at his size of clothing, since her devious little idea needed it. "An extra small eh? Perfect!"

"Alright Naruto let's get that spray paint." She figured she would give him some rules on how to use it, as she was leaving for her job.

"Yay!"

"So you want me to watch him while you do a job?" Master Makorov asked to clarify.

"Yes master. I would feel more comfortable with some more money, so I will take a quick job and go. I will return in 5 hours!" She told him as she ran out the door. Leaving him there with Naruto who was currently trying to get the spray paint to work. Makorov looked at him and thought "how hard can this be?" As if bringing down hell itself... Naruto figured out how to make the thing spray paint, in his face.

Meanwhile with Erza.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something. Hey which type of spray paint did I buy him anyway? Was it the magic one that ran out, when the user ran out of magic or a regular one?" She decided she would find out when she got back.

At the guild.

"SOME ONE CATCH THAT BRAT!" shouted Makorov. The brat in question was currently practicing his graffiti skills... On any one he could see. The master had a giant orange spot on his face. Gray was drenched in orange as he walk through the door. He was using his ice make to try to freeze the kid. "ICE MAKE LANCE!" He shouted as frost flew from his hand in spikes and missed his target, to go straight down Natsu's throat. Natsu had been laughing his butt off until that moment.

"HEY STRIPPER! WATCH WHERE YOU THROW THAT ICE!" He yelled while getting in Gray's face.

"YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A STRIPPER! LETS GO YOU PYRO!" Gray retorted slamming his forehead against Natsu.

Naruto saw a golden opportunity. He may be five but something was just telling him to do it. He snuck up behind the pink haired Natsu and got on the chair behind him. He then pushed Natsu's face into Grays. The two boys lips met. Every thing went silent. Gray and Natsu were just wondering what happened. Naruto started laughing so hard he fell off the chair and was rolling around on the floor. Just then, just before Natsu and Gray pulled apart, a white hair girl wearing a black top that cut just below the breast, and black short shorts walked in. This was Natsu and Gray's worst day ever.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE GAY!" Said the new girl. She appeared to be 15 like Erza. Natsu and Gray finally broke the "kiss". They were both gaging and spiting. Natsu grabbed some random guys beer and drank it to clean his mouth. Gray ram over to the bar and grabbed an orange juice jug and chugged it. Naruto had recovered from his laughing fit. He walked up to the new girl.

" Hi! What's your name? Mines is Naruto!" He asked and exclaimed.

"My name is Mirajane Strauss and do you want to do something really fun?" She asked with a mischievous sparkle in her eye.

"Yeah!"

"Well then here put as much magic power into your spray paint and throw it at the old man!"

"Okay!" He said as he began overflowing it with his magic power as he could and then lobbed it at the old man.

"Mira you are receiving a serious punishment for this!" Makorov thought as the can landed in front of him... Then exploded in the grand color orange. The blast covered the old man in paint and Natsu had his mouth open so he ate some, Gray had been completely naked and now had an orange birthday suit. Mira and Naruto on the other hand were shielded behind a table, completely untouched.

"Naruto, kid I like you. How about we have some more fun?" The she-devil asked.

"Yeah let's have more fun!" Naruto replied as she grabbed his hand and led him away from the guild. She took him to the top of the Cathedral, where a giant bucket of water gallons were. She is called the she devil for a reason.

"Alright kid, let's drop these puppies on some random peoples heads!" She exclaimed.

"Naru don't know if mama would like if Naru did this." Naruto said, unsure if he was being good.

"Don't worry! Who ever your mom is she won't find out so you'll be fine." She reassured him.

"Ok!"

Then they got to work. Mira nailed tons of people who were unsuspectingly walking by. Naruto kept missing. His would land next to people and miles away from people. He hit a cat, but to him that didn't count. "Naru going to throw one more and then I am going back so my mama can pick me up." He told Mira.

"Ok, but make it count sense we've been up here for who knows how long. Maybe this will be the one where you nail someone!" She cheered him on. Naruto took a random throw and tossed it towards what he perceived as a decent target. He couldn't tell who it was.

Mean while with Erza.

She had finished her job and had bought Naruto the outfit she wanted for him. "I hope he likes it plus it will be perfect practice for an armor requip." She thought as she passed by another shop. "I bet he's waiting for me at the guild giggling at the master being silly. He is a good boy I just hope that if he meets Mira she doesn't corrupt him." She thought this as she was walking past the Cathedral. *whoosh "huh." *splash. Erza just got nailed by a water balloon... That came from the top of the Cathedral. She looked and saw a white haired girl who she instantly knew who it was and a blonde hair child next to her. She was going to keep walking when she realized "WAIT A BLONDE CHILD!" She shouted as she started climbing the steps of the building.

With Naruto and Mira.

"Kid that was a perfect finally shot! I mean I have been itching to get that girl for while now!" Mira praised him knowing exactly who he hit. The boy was jumping for joy thinking how awesome his aim was.

"Naru is so so so so happy! Naru got someone! Hey who did Naru get?" He asked sincerely. As if to answer him the door behind them swung open and a very angry, wet Erza stood before them.

"You got the armor girl!" Mira said happily. Naruto shivered, as soon as he saw Erza's face.

"NARUTO, WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS SKUNK!?" Erza interrogated the poor boy.

"Mama Naru sorry! Naru did not know it was you. Naru-" Naruto got cut off.

"WAIT! MAMA! SHE IS YOUR MAMA!?" Mira now shouted. Naruto had the feeling things were about to get ugly. Erza seemingly forgot about Naruto as soon as she heard Mira.

"Yes, skunk I am currently his guardian until Makorov finds a suitable parent for him." Naruto was confused. He thought Erza was his parent so why was the old man looking for one.

"Oh really well then I think he made a mistake. You are completely unqualified for such a job. Your a whole disciplinary committee in one!" Mira retorted.

"I'm surprised no one has called child services for Lissana and Elfman!" And the insults went on for about an hour before Naruto started crying. Both of them turn to him with concern on their faces.

"Naruto what's wrong?" Erza asked worriedly.

"Mama *sniffle and Ms. Mira *sniffle keep fighting and won't stop!*sob" he replied while crying. Erza in equipped her chest plate and hugged Naruto lovingly. She picked him up and held him tight. He wrapped his little arms around her neck and his legs around her waist.

"Its ok. Mama won't fight anymore ok. Now let's go home." She said as tenderly as she could. She honestly had no idea what she was doing. She started walking down the stairs leaving Mira dumbfounded. "Wait. Did she just take off her armor? She did, didn't she. She... Really cares about that kid."

Once they were home Erza took Naruto to her bedroom and set him on the bed. She didn't know what to say. Naruto looked up at her with the most adorable sad face ever. She would get him something to eat. Whatever he wanted. "So... What do you want to eat?" He looked at her and put on a thoughtful look."He is just so adorable! I can't believe that I'm even thinking this but, I want to keep looking after him. Maybe I can ask master. No. No I can't get attached, master will just say no."

"Ramen! Naru wants ramen!" He demanded. She got up to fix some up. Naruto sat there thinking about how delicious ramen is. "Ramen, ramen, ramen," he began chanting. He stopped when the actual food entered the room. Erza gave him one cup and had one herself.

"Here you go. Now about what you did today." Naruto gulped. He may be five but he knew he was in deep doo doo. Erza looked at him and continued"What you did today was wrong. Throwing water balloons at people is wrong unless you are friends throwing them at each other. Next time Mira tell you to do something that even feels slightly wrong you don't do it. Now after your done eating I got something for you." Erza smiled as she finished. Naruto could only wonder what it was.

Naruto was now staring at a full body lion outfit... For him. He didn't know what to think of it other than it was interesting. Erza had a twinkle in her eye. She was watching him examine the costume. "He will love it! I just know he will. I am going to teach him to requip it. Then during next years Fantasia parade we can ride the float in matching outfits!" She let out a happy squeal at the thought. Her wearing her cat costume and him wearing the little lion costume, it would be so adorable.

"Mama. Mama! MAMA!" Naruto shouted while waving his hands around her face, trying to get her attention.

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry. I was daydreaming." Erza said to show he had her full attention.

"Mama, do you want me to wear this?" He asked.

"Yes I do, but there's a catch."

"What's a catch?"

"A catch is something you have to do to get something."

"Ok! Naru gets it now!" He smiled, thinking how he was learning more just by talking to his mama.

"Alright! First I need you to put it in your requip space."

"Yes mama!" He said as he began to do as he was told.

"After that do this!" Erza ordered as she requiped her cat costume. When she was finished she looked at him and said "meow." Naruto stared in awe. He was going to do it too. He began trying to pull it from the requip space, however it just appeared in his hand after 30 seconds. He look up at Erza with a questioning look.

"Mama, how did you do that?" He asked truly curious. She looked at him and smiled. "He didn't figure it out his first try. That's ok. But I want him to figure it out." She thought before speaking.

"Naruto. I am giving you a challenge! I want you to figure it out on your own." She said, see if he was going to complain or do it. He looked at her for about a minute before trying to requip the costume again. "This is it! Naru has a chance to make mama proud! She wasn't happy about what Naru did with Mira." He thought.

The next day Naruto woke up and went straight to work. Careful not to wake his mom he started training in silence to requip the little lion costume. He couldn't do it right though. He had tried requiping his arms, his legs and what not, but it never worked! Then it hit him like a blue ball to the face. He would try requiping his entire body! If that worked then he could show his mama. He channeled the energy through his body and after glowing for 30 seconds he was in the costume. He looked in the mirror. He saw that the costume had a pale yellow body and a large brown mane around his neck. It also had perfectly shaped to his face. He looked really nice in it especially because of his whiskers. He then heard some clapping.

"Good job! You did it Naruto! Now what does my hard working son want for breakfast, pancakes?" Erza said as she finished clapping.

"Was mama watching the whole time?" He wondered to himself. "Naru want some ramem mama!" She sweat dropped.

"Pancakes it is!"

Alright that's a wrap! For this chapter. Sorry if the end was abrupt but honestly I didn't know when to end the chapter so this is how it came out! Review please! Remember to tell me if you like the whole third person thing!