To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Barney, I had no idea.
Barney.
I really, really, really was not expecting that from you at all. I wasn't even aware. Wait! I'm not mad at you. Why the hell would I be?
Let's start from that whole list thing again.
First of all, I really need to get out into the world more often, don't I? Shame on me for not knowing 'adios' is Spanish.
Two, don't worry. You'll always be first place on my awesome list. It's a reserved spot.
Three – I totally am… Not! Stop flirting with me! You're the lovestruck middle-schooler here. You fancy me. I knew it. I knew it from the beginning. Don't you dare try to deny it now because it's too late.
As for four…
Look.
I'm so glad you were this honest with me. In fact, I don't think anyone has ever been this honest with me, ever, in my life. So thank you for that, because I really do appreciate it. Plus, you know I needed to know. I mean, I had to admit, it's totally not you to say all of this – to talk about your feelings so openly – and we'd all know, but you did anyway.
So I really appreciate it.
Okay – in actual response to what you're saying:
I don't feel awkward or anything! Okay, maybe a little bit, but just a tiny little bit. It's feelings after all, and we're both beginners at that. But we're learning, aren't we?
I know I can be a bit (very) annoying sometimes with all my 'Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke' all day long and frankly it gets unbearable, but I promise he's not here to replace you. In fact, you guys do not even overlap in my life. As in, you're you, my best friend, and he's him, my boyfriend, and I'm not letting either replace one.
Barney – calm down! I know you're not that jealous, creepy guy and I'm really happy you've not turned out to be because I need you in my life just as much as I need Luke, and even possibly more… You're my best friend after all. I have you to keep me on my toes and reel me back into reality when I drift – that's what I love about you, your honesty, and your existence will never be underappreciated, okay?
Our friendship is going the right way and it's going to go a long way – I can assure you. Longer than you can possibly imagine and probably even longer than you'd be happy with. It's like you'll have to physically peel me away from you in 50 years' time because I'd still be constantly trying to make you laugh and tell your lame stories and I'd still be the same person as I was all the years back.
You're not forgettable.
You're anything but forgettable!
You're very important to me and I need you to know and remember that.
You're still my awesome guy. You're not getting replaced and you're not being forgotten in any way.
I have to admit I wasn't expecting any of that, and that had been a really long email – unusually long – but I'm glad you got it off your chest. Sentimental Barney is actually a really cool guy but Normal Barney likes to convince Sentimental Barney that he's a loser. So Sentimental Robin is here trying to punch Normal Barney in the face for being a jerk, because Sentimental Barney is awesome!
Luke does make me unbelievably happy and you liking him is super important to me, so I'm happy you're okay with him, because I love you both so much and it'd kill me if you two didn't get along.
…What a cheesy email. (Yeah… I was just proofreading it and I realised I may actually be a granny after all. But I bet you feel much better now! Worth every single muscle spasm I am having on my hands right now from the crazy amount of typing.)
Anyway, I can't wait to see you in three days, I've told Luke all about you and he seems to love you already.
IT'S GOING TO BE THE COOLEST (however long you're staying) EVER.
Jumping up and down already!
R