Hey all,

Here's the next one, so I hope you enjoy. Just so you know, I'm really looking forward to posting chapter 52 - its still in progress, but i'm really quite excited. As always thanks for all the reviews, I really appreciate them and lately I need them even more as I've been struggling with finding inspiration to write!

xxx

Jake's POV

"Nessie! Nessie, listen to me!"

I was standing in the middle of the lodge's living room shaking my imprint, desperately trying to snap her out of her hysterics.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be working, and I had no idea what to do. My imprint came first, but that didn't stop me from feeling torn between my own reactions and how to handle things.

Firstly, there was the insecure boy in me, whose existence was a well-kept secret between me and Leah. Everyone always thought that because I was a shape shifter and an alpha, I took everything in stride, but they were wrong. There was a part of me that was still very much human and existed outside of the wolf. It was the same part of me that was able to love someone other than my imprint and sure, sometimes it woke up. Today was one of those occasions, and as a result, I was still trying to process what had just happened because seriously… how could all of this shit be real?

Of course, the boy, as always, was overruled by my shape-shifting instinct, which had been desperately begging for release ever since Nahuel's body had turned up. All my inner wolf wanted was to figure out if there was a potential threat and tear apart our perimeters for any sign of danger. It needed to know exactly what was going on.

Sure, I had just witnessed one physically fucked-up half-breed being euthanised, but why was he in that state? How did he get in that state? And, what did that mean for the people I cared for?

Finally, there was the other part of my soul - the imprint, which was pulling me towards a very upset Nessie. It seemed to be the strongest feeling right now and the only thing that could quell the raging beast inside of me and soothe the quivering boy. In some ways, her distress was the only thing keeping me focused.

I wasn't surprised that she had reacted so badly. As much as Nessie had always lived among the supernatural, she had been cushioned from a lot of things in the world. It was a choice that the vamps had made when they realised how quickly she was growing. Seeing as she would barely have a childhood, they wanted her to keep her innocence for as long as possible. This included her keeping hold of the belief that the world was a good place.

Sadly, the problem with this approach was now evident. Nessie clearly had no idea of how to react, even as an adult. I was in no doubt that this event would be something she would struggle with for a long time. All of her senses, including her mind, were far too advanced for her own good and it was still unclear if she yet remembered Nahuel as the savior from her childhood.

I thought back to the sight of Nahuel's mangled body crawling out of the forest. The scene had been similar to that of a horror movie and was incredibly haunting. Even worse though had been the expression on the half-breed's face. It had been a cross between fear, hate, and self-loathing. I didn't know if I would ever forget it, and I could live with that, but could Nessie?

God, everything was such a mess!

It had been clear from the start that Nahuel had been dying. Even without hearing his weakening heartbeat, I knew that he wasn't going to make it. I'm sure that the Cullens knew this too, as despite being caught off guard by his arrival, the looks that the family exchanged between themselves were ones of pity and grief.

Nessie's reaction to his arrival had, of course, been a little different and resulted in her fainting in my arms and having to be carried inside.

Edward and Carlisle had followed shortly after, carefully carrying Nahuel's broken body to the medical table. Seeing that Nessie had come around, we had then all gathered round to await some explanation as to what was happening.

Frustratingly, it had turned out to be a one-way conversation between Nahuel and Edward. Edward would nod, and frown, and scowl, but there was nothing we could actually gather from the brief exchange between them. It wasn't even until the end of their awkward discussion that we got some inkling as to what was about to happen, causing Nessie to kick off.

We had, of course, immediately removed her from the scene, but it had hurt me to do it. Every tear and pleading word had been like a sharp stab in my chest. I had gone against my imprint and she had suffered because of it.

Sure, I knew she would have hurt more if she witnessed his death, but she wouldn't understand that for some time, which brings me back to my current situation in the middle of the lounge with her sobbing.

"Nessie, baby, it's ok!" I tried to soothe her again as my own tears fell from my eyes.

There was no response and so I pulled my eyes away from her and looked to Esme. She was crying tearlessly in the background, holding Rose and Alice. She met my eyes though and nodded gently in support. It was a gesture I greatly needed.

I checked for Emmett and Jasper next, but realised from the distant sound of their voices that they were already outside already speaking with Tanya's clan.

Suddenly, I felt a slap across my face and looked down shocked to see an angry-looking Nessie.

"You let them! You could have stopped them Jake! Now he's gone! Why didn't you stop them?" She started crying again and this time fell into me, clutching at my shirt and squeezing as tight as she could. "I'm s… s… sorry, Jakey."

"Shh, it's ok." I stroked her back, trying to reassure her.

Before I realised what had happened, her hand had was pressed against my face.

"It's not ok Jake. I found him, I saw the desperation in his eyes, and I knew that he was like me. Why would someone hurt him like that? How could Dad help him die? Don't you all remember what he did for us?"

"You knew who he was?" I questioned out loud.

"When you all said the name yes. It was him that saved us when I was little, and in return, we didn't save him. It was such a waste of life! Dad wouldn't even let us talk to him… maybe I could have talked him into wanting to live … maybe it would have been enough. Everyone treats me like a child, but I'm not anymore – Instead I'm just a freak among freaks. I always feel so alone, so weak compared to all of you. I had so many questions for Nahuel, but now it's all gone and Dad took it from me. I can't even imagine what he suffered. I'm upset for so many reasons. How would you feel to see a fellow wolf in that state, especially if you thought you were alone?"

I brushed her tears away as her hand broke the contact between us and the connection.

"Nessie, I can't imagine what you're feeling, but whatever the differences are between us all, we all love the same way and we all love you. I don't know what's going on, but we are going to find out and then we'll work something out. Ok?" I held her tightly, as she started to cry again, although this time more quietly.

I felt completely helpless and silently wished my beta and best friend was with me. She would have known exactly what to do and always had a great, if not secret, relationship with Nessie. Sadly, I kept forgetting I no longer had a beta - Leah was an alpha in her own right.

I was broken from my trail of thought by Edward and Carlisle walking into the room. They both looked extremely morbid and depressed.

"It's done. He is at peace." Carlisle nodded grimly to the room.

Esme moved to his side and held him, leaving Alice and Rose to comfort each other.

Edward was watching me and Nessie intently. "Renesmee?"

She pulled back from my chest and scowled at him, "How could you?"

"Honey, that's not fair. He was in so much pain. He had lost everything and was dying anyway. I didn't want to do it, but he wanted it." Edward said sadly.

He walked over to us and tried to pull her into an embrace, but she flinched away from him and if possible, moved closer into my body, hiding her face and quietly crying. My shirt was soaked with her tears.

"Jake?" Edward questioned, meeting my eyes with a concerned look.

"Yeah?" I stared back harshly, hating him for causing my imprint this kind of pain.

"We need to talk." His serious tone was enough to alert me that something very bad was happening outside of our domestic situation.

I nodded in confirmation.

"Alice?" Edward turned away and looked to his sister.

Alice looked at him, her eyes were as sad as Esme's.

"Alice, can you see Bella?" Edward asked anxiously.

"For goodness sake, Edward, you know I can't see anything with Jake around." She said sharper than usual.

Rose used the awkward pause between them to ask the question playing on all our minds. "Edward, what happened back there?"

He remained silent and dipped his head towards his daughter. It was clearly not for Nessie's ears, and Rose nodded in understanding.

"Jake, are you coming?" Edward was already in the doorway looking back at me impatiently.

I looked down at Nessie and gently peeled her arms from my waist. "I need you to stay with Esme and your aunt's. Ok?"

Esme was beside me immediately and took over holding her. Her motherly gaze found me and she looked at me, understanding my dilemma. I was giving her the most important thing in my life, and it was taking an extreme amount of willpower to tear myself away.

Fortunately, I trusted that if anyone could soothe her, it would be Esme and so, taking one last look at my girl, Edward and I left the room and headed outside to join everyone else.

We found Jasper, Emmett and Tanya's clan standing outside the main house, looking impatient, if that was possible for vampires. I was already extremely antsy and looking to Edward for an explanation.

"We are in trouble." Edward stated.

Emmett was the first to react. "Who the hell did that to the guy?" he snarled.

Edward frowned; "His father, Joham."

"His father? That's unthinkable." Jasper was as shocked as I felt… or was it Jasper's shock I was feeling? Fuck knows I could never figure it out.

"Yeah, and it gets worse. He wants Nessie, and Nahuel was only the first threat." Edward said dryly.

"What? Who wants Nessie?" I automatically growled focusing intently on Edwards words.

Everyone turned to stare at me.

Despite being displeased with my outburst, Edward quickly explained everything that Nahuel had told him. I felt my fear and anger growing with each word. This was all about my imprint and some perverted leech wanting her to breed.

"Jake, there's more than that." Edward interrupted my thoughts. "You need to call Leah!"

My heart excelled with dread. "What? Why?"

"Nahuel said something about the imprints. I don't think he is just going to hit here. I think Joham's going to hit La Push in order to divide us."

Leah … Rachel … Claire … oh my god, even Emily and Kim. I had to stop it. I had to get back to La Push, but I couldn't just leave Nessie. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't make a choice like that.

"Jake, you have to focus!" Edward yelled at me.

I shook my head trying to gather my thoughts. Everyone around Edward and I had fallen incredibly silent; they barely registered in my frantic mind.

"What about Barrow?" I quickly asked.

"Joham has thought of that too. He has bred another half breed from the dead girl. He is going to use that against them I think. There's leeches everywhere, Jake. Please, stay with my daughter. I have to find my wife. She isn't answering her phone and I …" His voice broke off as he couldn't finish the sentence.

It forced me to make my decision, and Edward nodded gratefully as I mentally agreed to stay with Nessie.

The attention quickly turned away from me and on to a search party for Bella. Emmett, Jasper, Tanya and Kate agreed to aid Edward, while Carman, Garrett and Eleazer opted to stay behind with me and the rest of the Cullens. No sooner than it was agreed, Edward and his group flew into the forest. Garrett and Eleazer then started running the perimeter and Carmen offered to speak with everyone inside so that I could get hold of my old pack.

With that thought, I immediately turned tail and phased. Unfortunately, I felt a lump rise in my throat when I found that no one was there - the mind link was dead. I phased back again not caring about clothes and ran back to the Cullen's and grabbed the phone.

I called the one number embedded in my mind and tapped my foot anxiously as the line started to ring. "Come on, Leah, pick up." I muttered into the phone. "Pick up, pick up!" The line rang and rang, but there was no answer. "Shit," I said hanging up.

I grabbed the phone book and started calling my old pack. There was no answer from anyone else either and the boy in me finally started to panic.