To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: I'm so happy for you.
I'm so happy for it. And I mean it. And I'm so proud of you for being a calm and rational human being despite everything that has happened in the past forty-eight hours.
He's just one step away from waking up. Just one. Don't worry.
B
To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Thanks.
Thanks for being there. Honestly. It made me realise I didn't have anyone I could entirely depend on in this country, which is a bit depressing, but… It's also true. I guess the truth is depressing sometimes.
Hopefully he'll really be a step away from waking up and just one. Not two. Or twenty-two. Or… Two thousand six hundred and seventy two.
R
To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: Stop being so paranoid!
He will wake up. He is less than twenty steps away.
I swear on my suits.
B
To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Your suits are going to die a sad and tragic death then.
There's nothing, really, to include in the body of this message. The subject kind of says it all.
To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: I know…
…You are currently emotional and probably incapable of proper humour right now so I'll let you off this time.
My suits will live long and prosper.
This, I swear on my sex life.
To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: You wouldn't want to.
R.I.P. Barney Stinson's sex life.
To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: Shut it.
I'm tolerating you right now. I'm on the verge of jumping on the first plane here and smashing your face. (In the most endearing obviously. I don't know how smashing people's faces will ever be an endearing act but I'll try.)
To: Barney Stinson
From: Robin Scherbatsky
Subject: Very funny.
It would be great if you really came though. Again. Seriously. Heaven knows I could use some company right now, before I spend my entire savings account on alcohol.
Plus now I have to visit Luke now so I'll talk to you very soon.
Thank you for the laughs, Mr. Sassy pants.
To: Robin Scherbatsky
From: Barney Stinson
Subject: You've turned into a chunk of cheese.
You are so cheesy. But I love you nonetheless, because I am a generous gentleman with a lot of love to offer to damsels in distress.