AN: We're on Chapter 40 and I was like 'whoa, I'd better start doing something' so here I am moving on forward. I don't have a plan, I don't have notes, I don't have any kind of guide on how to continue this. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. All I'm onto right now is really just taking out pen and paper and hoping for the best.

Three months later

To: Barney Stinson

From: Robin Scherbatsky

Subject: …I can't do this.

Barney, it's been three months.

It's been three months of me trying to act normal by going to the hospital visiting him as much as I can, talking to him, singing to him, repeating inside jokes with him and tonight... I'm sitting here and I realised I can't do this anymore.

It's been too long.

I don't know when this happened but I don't feel like this is going anywhere anymore. The magic is not here now. It has long gone and I'm just starting to realise it.

Let me tell you a thing here.

At three weeks, I was still hopeful. I thought if I waited, it would come. Because that's how things work, right? You wait for them and they come eventually. So I thought. And I kept waiting. I thought; it's only been three weeks. It doesn't mean anything that he's not waking up yet.

Then at six weeks, I was desperate. I tried anything and everything I could in my power to wake him up. I listened to what the doctors said and I wanted him to wake up so badly I even began to spend nights over at the hospital, even if I had work the next day and I had to be up at five to go home for a shower. That was my life, at six weeks from him slipping into a coma.

And now, at three months – All I'm feeling is tired. Just… Tired. I was tired of this life. This is my one life and I know I sound like the biggest asshole saying this, but I'm not really sure this is how I had envisioned my life to be when I left New York.

I'm barely focusing on how my work is going anymore and people are starting to notice this. If I don't start kicking off and put my head in my career, I could get fired.

I don't know what has happened to me. My relationship is wilting like a sunflower plucked and put into a glass jar involuntarily and my career is slowly falling apart, into pieces.

I don't know what I should do anymore. Go for it anyway, even though Luke's in a coma?

You want to know something? I'm living my life in fear. Every day I wake up and I'm just scared, knowing today would not be the day he wakes up because I've basically given up. I'm scared because I know it'll be another day spent alone and I don't know what to do.

But if I run away from it now… If I do it now, does it show I'm a coward? An asshole? For God's sake, that man is in a coma. I can't run away and leave him.

Maybe the magic is not here anymore, like I said. Maybe I'm not in love with him anymore. But I did love him. And I can't just… Leave him like this. What if he wakes up one day and he wants to know where I am? How am I going to live with that?

Now that is all I have to say on this subject.

And I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It's not your responsibility. I mean I guess I just needed someone to talk to and you've just always been here for me. I'm sorry if this is the act of me taking you for granted but I promise I'm not.

I value you as a friend and if your life ever got a bit less awesome, I'm here for you.

Robin