Do I insult you with my apologies or just let you get on with the reading? ;)

Oh hell, I am sorry for keeping you all waiting and I am also alive, which I think some people were starting to question!

Unfortunately, the amazing dontcallmeleelee has had to step out from betaing for me for a while, which I was very sad about as she's worked with me on so much of this story, but I'm also very happy to be back and am now working with Khyharah, who kindly proofed this chapter for me. A huge thank you therefore goes to both of them!

So, this is the last chapter before the epilogue! How scary is that! This is were it all comes together and if I'm honest, I'm pretty damned terrified because after three years and getting such lovely reviews and support from you guys, there's a bit of pressure to get it right.

Well, I can't really out it off much longer. Here it goes... xxxx

Leah POV

I woke to silk sheets and a bright white light. My fingers fumbled against the soft material and my legs stretched out. The sun shone in brightly its beams falling across me. My head hurt. Where was I?

I sat up suddenly terrified.

Warm hands gripped me and blinding blue eyes stared into my face. "You're safe. We're in Denali."

My arms flew around Cris' neck as I clambered into his lap on the bed, wrapping my legs around his waist and clinging to him in relief. "Promise me he's dead?"

He nodded against me, kissing my cheek. "It's over. I promise."

My lips found their way to his mouth and he cupped my head holding me to him as his fingers wrapped themselves in my hair. I deepened our kiss as we lost ourselves temporarily in each other. When we finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine.

"I promised I'd find you." He whispered.

Letting out a deep breath, I smiled. "And I never doubted you."

"Good. Because I'll always find you, Leah. Not that I'm ever letting you out of my sight again. You just attract trouble." He pecked my lips.

I returned to hugging him. "I could live with that."

There was silence all around and I couldn't bear to break us apart yet. I wasn't ready to face the world and everything was very quickly come back to me. I felt tears breaking to the surface and couldn't fight them.

Cris rubbed my back reassuringly. "It's ok."

My whole body shook. "It's not ok. It will never be ok."

"I'm sorry about Sam." He soothed.

"I left him, Cris." The words spilled out. "I just walked away and left him to die."

"You did what you had to. You had to help Emily and the baby." He reminded me.

The memory of carrying Emily through the burning building made my blood run cold. "Oh god, Emily! Where is she?"

"Leah..." He gently withdrew my body from his and brought me to the edge of the bed. Cris sat before me on his knees, grasping my hands. His eyes looked tormented. "You have to understand... We did everything we could, but she was malnourished and bleeding heavily throughout the labour."

I ripped my hands from his. "Cris, what are you saying?"

He grabbed my hands back, holding them in place. "We had no blood... We were too far from land... She somehow managed to come around long enough to give birth, but... Something tore. Even Carlisle couldn't..."

"No." I shook my head, crawling backwards away from him. "No!" I shouted this time. "No!"

A memory of me coming around on a boat flashed in my mind. Someone had been trying to tell me then that she wasn't going to make it. I had screamed and lashed out trying to reach her at the opposite end of the boat. I remembered her face, so tired and broken, she was barely there. I continued to fight. There was another stab in my arm, then nothing.

"They sedated me." I said bitterly. "And, after everything I went through you let them! Emily was dying and you all stopped me getting to her."

Cris followed me on the bed. I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my whole body and held me tightly against him. "You were sick, Leah. The bullet had pierced your lung and Carlisle had just managed to get you patched up so your body could heal. We couldn't risk you injuring yourself again. Please try to understand. Everything was a mess. We were in the middle of the ocean and after losing so many, we weren't about to lose you too. There was no other option. I'm so sorry, baby."

I stopped fighting him and let the tears flow. The news of yet another death added to the crushing weight I already carried. It was suffocating, mourning so many people and so much. Our victory was far from a win. After several hours, I cried myself out and fell into silence. Faces flashed before my face. "Where is everyone?"

Cris took a deep breath, the rise of his chest pressing against me. "Seth and Embry are around. I told them to take a break. Quil's back with Claire too." He added.

I could imagine Quil's arrival not being well received, but I never once blamed him for leaving with Claire. She was our family too and he kept her safe. "Is he ok? No one gave him a hard time did they?"

"No one was welcoming, but that's not really a reflection on him. Everyone is lost at the moment." He rubbed my back as he spoke.

I glanced at the clock, which showed early morning. "What day is it? How long was I out?"

"Only over night. The sedative wore off a while ago, but you slept through." Cris confirmed.

"Can we stay here a while?" I whispered and curled into him tighter.

He stroked my hair this time. "As long as you want."

Lying in Cris's arms was supposed to be soothing, but all I could think of was my fallen friends, especially Sam and Emily. The tears came and went at regular intervals depending on what memory flooded my mind. It was hard to explain and even to feel my way through it. I had hated them for so long, but I had finally put it behind me only to realise too late how much they had still meant to me. Both of them had played huge parts in my life. It's why they had so much power over me and were able to hurt me like they did. Emily was family and Sam was, well he was Sam. I missed them both already and realised that I wouldn't be the only one.

"I need to see everyone." I eventually managed.

"You sure?" Cris asked, climbing off the bed.

I nodded, and he proceeded to put on his shoes. I took in his body for the first time since coming around. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. There was a bandage clearly visible around his middle under the shirt. His face was also slightly bruised and a long scar ran down his arm. He noticed me staring and simply offered me a hand.

I climbed off with his help and moved to a mirror. I had faint scratches across one of my eyes where Sophia had tried to claw it out. I felt sick as I remembered the feel of a gun in my hands and pulling the trigger.

"I shot her." I muttered, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Cris kept his distance. "You had the right too."

"Did I?" I rebuffed. "It was murder. That wasn't the wolf, that was all me."

He shook his head. "It was self defence, not just of yourself, but everyone you cared about. They couldn't be allowed to live, none of them."

"She had children. A grown daughter and a boy." Alarm bells rang. "The boy, where is he?"

Cris smiled awkwardly. "He's safe. It's a bit like a crèche at the main house right now. It's ironic, in some ways the kid's are the only thing holding everyone together. There was no sign of her daughter though."

"Kids?" I questioned. "Megan's ok?"

He paused. "Yeah, and baby Uley."

I hadn't even thought about their child in all of this.

"Do you want to meet them properly?" Cris asked.

I nodded and took the hand he offered me.

The walk to the house was slow. We made it so on purpose. I held on to Cris the whole way. When we reached the porch, we cautiously made our way up it and inside.

People seemed to be scattered throughout the building. Footsteps could be heard above, voices whispered all around. Not a single room seemed unoccupied.

It was surreal walking inside. The first people I caught sight of were Rachel, Kim, Paul, and Jared who sat together in a room to the left. Their talking stopped when they saw me let go of Cris's hand and wander towards them.

As soon as I was close enough Rachel hugged me. We didn't speak, just held each other tightly as tears fell yet again. Kim joined us, the three of us clinging to each other in grief.

When we finally broke apart, I shook hands with Jared and Paul.

"Are you ok?" Jared asked.

I shrugged. "Are any of us?" I looked around the room. "Where's your pack?"

"We sent them home. They wanted to be with their families. We haven't contacted anyone yet about, you know, the people that..." His voice cracked.

"It's ok. We'll handle it together." I smiled sadly.

We said a few more sombre words to each other before I moved back to Cris, who was waiting for me patiently. We walked further into the house and reached the main room. Sure enough, Seth, Embry and Cris's pack were there with Carlisle standing silently in the corner watching them. It took me a minute to realise what his sombre fascination was; Corey was cuddling Megan, while Dylan and Alex were entertaining Sophia's boy and there in the middle was Seth holding a tiny new born.

As we entered they all looked up. Sad expressions filled their faces. Seth was watching me, emotions flickering across his face. Eventually, he stood carefully bringing the baby forward. "Leah, this is Sammy."

He gently placed the baby in my arms. Sam's eyes and Emily's face looked up at me through this new person. I swayed the sleeping boy gently in his knitted blanket. "You named him?"

"Emily did." Seth looked broken. "She knew. I don't know how, but she just knew he was gone and when she saw the baby she called her Samantha."

So, Sammy was a girl; that was a surprise. It stung bitterly though that Emily had known. I looked back down at the babe. "She's gorgeous, just like her Mum." I whispered to no one in particular.

Cris gently led me to the sofa with her, where we sat down side by side. He tucked his arm behind me and Seth sat on the arm of the chair next to me. I smiled in thanks as Embry also shuffled over on the floor and leant against the sofa by my legs. They were silently surrounding me in comfort. Cris's pack was just as solemn, but there was no awkwardness. They felt much like my pack to me.

After a while of watching Sammy, concern set in. "Is she ok? She isn't traumatised or anything? What about feeding? What about the others?" I gestured towards the boy and Megan.

"Quil and Claire have gone to the shop to get supplies, but we managed to pick up enough formula to see her through the night on the way home." Embry explained. "The other two aren't so picky. They're eating anything pureed. Esme and Carlisle have it all in hand."

I sighed. Emily and Sam should be the ones doing all of this. I could feel another breakdown on the way. "I'm sorry. Can you take her?"

Embry lifted her from me, an eyebrow raised uncertainly.

"I just need to be on my own a while." I stood up, kissing Cris's head, then Seth's and ruffled Embry's hair before excusing myself from the room. I exited the house as some stray tears made their way through. I hated crying, it was all just too much to handle.

I ended up wandering around the Denali land and into the edge of the forest. Propping myself against a tree I slipped to the floor and tried to take it all in. By the time I looked up again the sun told me it was late afternoon. I pushed myself back up realizing that other people were mourning too and I was being selfish. There was also someone I hadn't seen yet.

Knocking on the cabin door, I waited patiently to see if anyone was in.

A minute later Jake opened the door. He looked tired, but upon seeing me pulled me to him and hugged me tightly. I gripped him just as hard as he led me inside.

We didn't say much. There wasn't much to be said that we weren't mutually feeling. I noticed his shoulder was bandaged, much like my chest was under my clothes. Meanwhile, Nessie was sitting in the corner, in an arm chair, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

She glanced at me briefly, before returning her stare to the window.

"How is she?" I asked.

"Lost." Jake led me away from her to the corner of the room and spoke quietly so she couldn't hear. "I don't know what to do."

I raised an eyebrow. "Jake, you can't do anything except be there for her."

He sighed. "I don't know how. She's lost her Mom and Emmett and her dad's catatonic. There's nothing I can do to fill that void. Then there's the fact she was starved and beaten and whatever they did has fucked up her gift. She won't even let me hold her in case she hurts me mentally. I just don't know what to do."

I sadly shook my head. "Yes, you do. You can love her." It was time Jake faced up to things. "Look, I need to tell you something - Nessie only ran away that night because she thinks you're in love with me. In her head she was sacrificing herself. This has to end, Jake. She's confused and insecure. She has all these feelings about you and thinks you're only with her because you have no choice. She feels alone. You need to change that."

He looked hurt. "Leah, it's not that simple."

"Of course it is." I grabbed his hand pointedly. "This is the hand you have been dealt. She needs you and you need her. You and I? We never even got started. She needs to know that. Instead of everyone protecting her, try telling her the truth about your past, your feelings, your life when she wasn't around. You need to start treating her like your equal and take her down from that pedestal you put her so high on. She will understand. She needs that. She needs you."

Jake thought it over, his face softening. "Did you really just come here to give me a lecture?"

"Not really." I reached up and kissed his cheek, before slapping it gently. "Thank you. I know you would have taken that bullet for me."

The week passed slowly from there on as we each tried to process what had happened and deal with our own demons.

I ended up sharing a cabin and a bed with Cris, but all we ever did was talk, hold each other and kiss. It was reassuring though. He was with me when ever I needed him and just as willing to give me space. I knew it was hard for him too. Cris had explained just how scared he'd been when the building collapsed around me, only to feel relief when he saw me in the forest and have it all taken away when I was shot. He'd been on a rollercoaster of emotions and was fighting with himself not to lock me up in a room away from anything and everything.

It therefore wasn't surprising that when the time came for his pack to return home to Barrow, Cris decided to stay behind with me. His pack could have stayed too, but each of them wanted to get home to their own families and start rebuilding their lives.

Jared, Paul, Kim, and Rachel also decided to leave around the same time, but it was agreed that for now, all three of the children would stay with us and the Cullen's to ensure they were all ok and healthy. I had honestly expected more of a fight from Jared and Paul about Sammy, but they didn't even question it.

In the meantime, at least my pack had been reunited and Quil and Claire were safe. It helped us all to have the pack back together. It was just a shame it couldn't last; eventually Quil and Claire had to head back to La Push as well and Embry decided to tag along to help his best friend recover what was left of his house.

That left just the four of us - Seth, Cris, Jake and I. Not that we saw too much of Jake after my visit to his cabin. I was happy though and I think he was too; Jake was making a conscious effort to rebuild his relationship with Nessie and had really stepped up to the mark.

In some ways it seemed like what happened had put everything in perspective. Each and every one of us was now certain of our choices and where we belonged. On the rare occasions when we did all end up together at the main house, everything felt right between us. We were even able to laugh at old times as we tried to remember the good in the world.

Even Edward was making progress, be it in baby steps. He was more lucid than at the start and, while his mind still wandered in and out of reality, he was visibly trying to get better for his daughter.

That left just one remaining person. Rose. For the first week she had disappeared. I feared I wouldn't ever see her again. Then one night, she had returned late, drawn inside by the sound of Megan and the boy, Jamie, crying. She'd been angry and impatient with them, which made them cry even more, and I'd been about to intervene, when Rose suddenly fell to the floor dry heaving with sobs. Out of no where, Megan had found the courage to climb into Rose's lap and cuddle her. Jamie had followed quickly after and the three of them had ended up sitting there for hours, just holding each other. Rosalie hadn't left the pair since.

By the end of the week, my life felt so completely different it was unreal. We had spent each evening in the main house with the majority of what was becoming part of our fucked up little family. I had never felt particularly close to the Cullen's or then Denali clan but something had changed and brought us all together. We had saved them, they had saved us and we had both lost.

It was near midnight, and I pushed the thoughts of the week aside and undressed. Slipping on one of Cris's shirts to sleep in, I crawled under the covers next to him. He immediately drew me into his arms. I hated that I had to break our sanctuary.

"I need to talk to you." I whispered into the dark.

He sighed. "That sounds ominous."

"We can't stay here forever." I braced myself for where this was going.

Cris sat up and turned on the lamp to look at me properly. "It's been a week, Leah. Hardly forever. You're recovering from a big shock and Carlisle's been monitoring the children. We need to be sure Joham didn't hurt them in any other way. We can't leave just yet."

I sat up on my elbows, the blanket drawn around my chest. This would be the difficult bit. "I agree, but when we do leave. I think you should consider leaving Megan here with Rose."

Cris looked appalled. "Leah, you know I can't do that. She's Lee's blood. She has to come home."

I sat up fully now matching him. "I know how you feel, but think about it, Cris. How much has she grown in this one week? There isn't anywhere in Barrow you could keep her without drawing attention to her aging. You would all be at risk, including her. Plus, she's a half breed, there will be a lot of difficulties with her growing up - Blood vs. food, controlling her strength. Rose loves her and Jamie and she could raise her safely."

"Leah, that's not just my decision." He grumbled. "Even if I admit that I understand exactly what you're saying, we always said we would bring her home."

I leant over and kissed him. "You can, but when she's older. You will always be her family. I think you should speak to your pack at least. It's about what's best for Megan, not yourselves."

"What about Sammy?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Carlisle has been in contact with Sam and Emily's lawyer. They left a will. I'm hoping that will tell us who gets custody. I can't decide whose mother they'd pick, Sam or Emily's. She needs to be with her family though. Not here."

Seth, Cris, Sammy and I eventually left Denali several days after that conversation. Cris and his pack agreed in the end to leave Megan with Rose and Jamie, but only if they could have open access with her and teach her about their histories, traditions, and heritage. Rose was more than happy with the agreement and welcomed the extended family Cris's pack would bring.

I still felt bad about leaving though. Cris wanted us to stay longer, but the funerals had been arranged for Sam, Emily, Colin, and Brady. Somehow, the Cullens had managed to cover everything up, by saying that they were involved in a crash and Sammy was the only survivor. I know they did it to protect us, but it still felt wrong. There was no way that the story did them justice. They died heroes, much like Emmett and Bella, and only we would know.

It was at that point that I'd begged Cris to go home once more so his pack could put Lee to rest, but he assured me they would wait and hold their own pack memorial when he returned. Hesitantly, I had asked him when that would be, but he had yet to decide. Secretly, I was glad. I slept even worse when he wasn't with me and that was saying something.

I knew it was my minds way of processing everything, but my dreams were too painful to bear - explosions, screams, and intruding hands with blood red eyes. Each time I tried to think of something else, dead faces flashed before my eyes. I could barely handle it some nights.

Tired, I used the drive home as an opportunity to rest my eyes. I sat in the back, next to Sammy in her car seat, with a blanket wrapped around me. We drifted in and out of sleep together, but I didn't get very far. After an hour Sammy had gotten cranky and we had to stop several times for me to feed and change her. Somehow I had ended up holding the baby, literally.

When we arrived home, the Res' looked just how we had left it. I didn't know what I'd been expecting, but the trees that flew past us looked just as old and green, the trails leading to houses just as worn, and chipped paint and broken tiles still scattered each home. Nothing had changed, but it felt emptier and colder than it ever had. Even the waves crashed thunderously along the coast as if it could sense four souls had been stolen from us.

Turning away from the window, I glanced down at Sammy. Our first stop was going to be difficult for all of us and as we pulled up in the drive way of an old house, Seth cut the engine. It was raining and the car soon started to steam up with our breath as we all sat there staring at the front door. Eventually, an old woman opened the front door. Her shoulders were sagged and she clung to the shawl wrapped around her shoulders.

Seth looked at me. "Leah, I can go if you want."

I shook my head and unclipped Sammy from the car seat. "It's all right, Seth. I need to do this."

Grabbing an umbrella from the floor, I sheltered Sammy and got out of the car. As I walked towards the woman, her hand covered her mouth and tears fell at the sight of us.

I shifted the baby gently in my arms. "Sammy, meet your Grandma."

From there, Sam's mother invited me inside. We sat and talked and cried together before settling Sammy down to sleep. I kissed the little girl goodbye and promised I'd see them both tomorrow.

When I got in the truck I started to cry hard. Seth and Cris looked at me in concern, but I waved them off. Leaving Sammy had upset me more than I had been prepared for. I knew it was only for one night, but I had spent the last week with the special little girl.

Without Sammy, the final part of our trip passed even slower and by the time we pulled up at ours we were all shattered. We left Carlisle's car in the middle of the drive and went inside. It felt like I hadn't been home in months.

The next morning, I woke at dawn remembering it was the day of the funerals. A heavy sadness struck me. Turning over, I distracted myself by watching Cris sleep. I knew I was so lucky to have him and the love that I felt for him had kept me going. I leant over and kissed his lips. He smiled against me. Damn, light sleeper.

We hadn't been physical since I was kidnapped, but I realised as I kissed him just how important it was for us to remember to love as it was to mourn. I gently lifted myself on top of him and he deepened the kiss, shifting beneath me and waking fully. As we kissed and touched, his hips arched up against me. From there on, clothes were lost, hands quickly wandered, and before too long they were replaced with a more filing part of Cris's body. As soon as we were connected our pace slowed dramatically. I remained on top, but without speaking we both knew we wanted to feel each other and revel in the moment. We took it slow, excruciatingly so, whispering words of love among gentle sighs and moans, which gradually lead to an intense climax.

We spent the remainder of the morning clinging to each other until it was time to face the world. We showered together and helped each other dress. I felt stronger knowing he was by my side.

The funerals themselves were more horrible than I could have ever imagined. They followed one after the other, and I was drained by the end of it. From the church we were moved on to the community hall for the wake, but that was even worse. It reminded me of my father's funeral with people offering their families useless words of condolences. I felt angry. They didn't know how or why they really died and they never would. In the end, the only thing that got me through the day was spending some time with Sammy, but even that ended too soon.

As the days wore on, I tried to regain some of my life and take on more practical tasks. Quil's house was the start. We joined Embry and him and helped clear the wreckage and rebuild it. It felt good to be doing something productive together.

Eventually, I received the letter I had been dreading. I was being called to a lawyer's office in Forks for a reading of Sam and Emily's will. I hadn't expected to be called in, but I was glad I'd finally know what was happening with Sammy. A part of me hoped she stayed on the reservation with Sam's mum, rather than going to Makah with Emily's.

When the day finally came, I found myself sitting nervously in the overly clean reception area of a legal practice. Cris and Seth had come with me for support. When I was finally called into an office, I was introduced to an old Quileute man in a blue suit, who confirmed himself to be the Uley's lawyer.

After some formalities and strange questions about my life, work, and living arrangements he looked at me nervously. "Sam and Emily were very specific about the guardianship of their child. They came to me some months ago wanting to make sure there was a will in place, should anything happen. There were several options as you know. Both grandmothers would be suitable custodians, but their ages proved a concern and Emily and Sam already had you in mind."

"Me?" I wasn't expecting that. "What the hell do I know about a baby?"

The lawyer didn't look surprised by my outburst. "Miss Clearwater, I know this might come as a shock to you, which is why you aren't expected to make a decision now. Samantha can remain in her grandmother's care until more permanent arrangements are agreed. If you decide to say yes, it's a big responsibility. It's a child. There will be some funding from the Uley's estate, but essentially her care will fall upon her guardian."

I sighed. "I just don't understand why they would pick me."

He smiled. "I've known the Uley family a long time. Sam and Emily were always so certain about the things they wanted. There was never any doubt in their minds they wanted you as their child's guardian. They both expressed what a strong and loving person you were. The care you have taken of Samantha so far confirms just that. If you're in any more doubt, they left you this. I think it would be best you think on the matter and contact me when you reach your decision."

The man gave me a letter. My hand shook as I gripped it and swiftly left. Cris and Seth were waiting for me outside like they promised, so I tucked the letter in my bag hiding it until later. On the drive home I told them what had been said in the room and neither was surprised. I still was and the letter was burning a hole in my mind.

Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer; I needed to read it and alone. After asking the guys to drop me off at the beach, I decided to take a walk. I found our old bonfire circle and sat down on the drift wood. The letter suddenly felt heavy in my hand. As I gently opened it, my tears were flowing before I read the first word.