Thirty-Three:
Rick arrived back at the loft around dinner time. He had promised that they would open presents tonight as Christmas had been a minor disaster. He greeted Martha who was watching a movie with Mindy by placing a kiss on her cheek. Mindy could see the fatigue in Rick's eyes and rose to her feet to greet him with a hug and a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled in mild surprise as she asked if he had had a rough day. Rick offered her a tired smile and half-shrugged.
"I'm starved." Rick comments. "What's for dinner?"
"We were waiting on you dear." Martha replies.
"I don't care as long as it's quick." He looks around the loft and inquires. "Where's Alexis?"
"She's upstairs getting ready for her 'date' with Ashley." His mother replies. "Is Chinese ok Richard?"
"It's fine with me, mother. Is that ok Mindy?" She simply nods her head in response. It finally registers with him Martha's comment about Alexis and he responds. "So, a second date with Ashley huh? I thought we were opening presents tonight."
"We can do both can't we?" Martha inquires as she turns to see Alexis walking down the stairs dressed in a black cocktail dress and smiling.
Seeing Rick standing there, Alexis sprints down the remaining stairs and runs to give him a hug. "Hey Dad. Grams said that you were working all day. Gina give you a hard time?" She places a kiss on his cheek and smiles.
Rick releases her from the hug, holding her at arm's length to look at his daughter. "Oh my! You look beautiful pumpkin. Now go back up the stairs and bring back my little girl.." He can't contain his beaming smile that's tinged with more than a little sadness knowing that his little girl is now a woman.
"Oh Dad!" She scolds in response then softens her expression. "Do you think I look ok?"
"Ashley's a lucky boy, or should I say man." Castle replies solemnly. He pulls her back into his arms and hugs her again while asking if there was time to open presents before she left on her big date. Alexis smiles and returns the hug with equal fervor. Rick starts walking with his arm around his daughter's waist to where the huge tree sat, calling out for the others to follow.
The next hour was spent opening presents, exchanging thank yous and hugs. Normally the presents exchanged in the Castle household were more personal in nature. As he had what he felt was enough money, his daughter never had to wait for a birthday or Christmas if she needed something. No, Christmas was time to give those little things that someone may have mentioned in passing that they wanted. The type of presents that proved that you listened and cared. This was a carry-over from Rick's youth when they simply didn't have the money for extravagant gifts and it was what made the holiday special to him.
Rick watched as Alexis and Mindy hugged after opening the gifts given by the other and then to his mother who was smiling at the interaction between the two women. Martha makes eye contact with him and he mouths a silent 'I love you mother.' to the woman. Rick rises to his feet and walks to where she sits, bending over and wraps her in a tight embrace. "Merry Christmas mother."
A knock on the door took everyone's attention from the special moment. Alexis rose to her feet and nearly sprinted to the door, quickly opening it. She quickly deflates seeing that it was the delivery boy with dinner. She turns and calls out. "Dad, it's for you.." Alexis turns and returns to her spot by the oversized tree.
Rick walks to the foyer and pays the man, giving him a generous tip. The delivery boy thanks him and exits as Castle carries the bags of food to the counter. "Dinner's here. Let's eat. I'm starving." He calls out to the women.
Alexis, Martha and Mindy all rise to their feet and walk into the kitchen as Rick takes out the containers of food and grabs the plates from the cabinet. They all take what has became their designated spots around the counter and start pulling food from the containers. Rick was a bit surprised that Alexis was joining them. "I thought that you were going out to dinner with Ashely?" He asks.
"I am." Alexis replies before filling her mouth with the take out food. Rick and Mindy laugh as they watch Alexis chew her food grinning. "But I'm hungry now. Besides I didn't want him hearing my stomach growl."
Rick laughs out loud knowing how some women never want to admit that they are hungry when they really are. 'Kate was never like that. She never was shy about eating with you.' His subconscious reminded him. He chastised himself mentally for the comparison. 'You'll never be able to move on as long as you continue to compare and contrast Kate with all other women.'
Martha sees the sad look on her son's face and knows that he's thinking about Beckett. She reaches across the counter and gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. He looks up and offers her a sad smile as he returns to eating his dinner. They were nearly finished eating when there was a knock on the door. This time Rick is up first and is near the door before Alexis can stop him. His daughter gives him a pleading 'please don't embarrass me' look and he gives her an evil smile as he opens the door.
"Ashley! What a surprise. Please come in." Rick gestures for the young man to enter as both Martha and Alexis give him an angry look. Rick turns to where Alexis was standing. "Pumpkin, look who's here.."
His daughter can only glare at him as he smiles. She runs to where Ashley is standing and places a quick peck on his cheek in greeting telling him that she will be ready in just a minute. She turns and nearly sprints back up the stairs to her room leaving everyone except Ashley laughing in her wake.
Rick gestures for Ashley to follow him to the living room. "Come, sit down. Let's talk." He gives a sly grin towards Mindy and Martha who return angry glares. Honestly, Rick really did like Ashley and had always hoped that Alexis and he could work everything out. Pi was a disaster from the first moment they met. It was almost as if Alexis was going after the exact opposite of Ashley. The young man took a seat at the far end of the sofa while Rick sat in the chair angled beside the sofa. "So how's Stanford? You're a junior now, right?"
"Yes sir." Ashley replies, clearly intimidated by Rick. "I'm still hoping to finish my bachelor's degree a semester early to get into graduate school.."
"That's great. Have you decided what area you interested in? Is it still global economics?" Rick inquires.
Ashley has to smile knowing that Castle has remembered what his major was. "Yes sir. I don't know if I want to become an educator like my parents or go into the private sector."
"Whatever you decide, I'm sure that you will do great." Rick replies sincerely. Rick was about to ask Ashley a question when he sees the young man stand up and staring up the stairs. He turns to see Alexis descending the stairs with a black wrap over her shoulders and four inch black pumps, smiling. Rick turns back to see the stunned look on the young man's face and has to smile himself knowing that Ashley sees her as a beautiful woman also.
Alexis walked up to where Ashley stood and inquires if she looked alright. Ashley swallowed audibly and could only nod his head in agreement as her smile grew. She started walking to the door as he quickly gains his composure and follows.
"So where are you guys going?" Rick inquires.
"There's a little Italian restaurant my parents used to take me to when I was younger.." Ashley shyly replies.
"Then we're going out dancing." Alexis quickly adds garnering an embarrassed look from her date.
"Sounds like fun guys." Rick replies. He quickly pulls his iPhone from his back pocket. "Picture time!" He calls out with a gleeful smile.
"Dad!" Alexis calls out more embarrassed than angry. "I'm not in high school." She tries her best to give him a glare.
"Don't care. Now stand beside your date and let me take your picture.. And try to look happy." Alexis walks beside Ashley and he places his arm nervously around her waist causing Rick to nearly laugh out loud. "Ok now, say cheese." Ashley feigns a nervous smile and Alexis turns to place a kiss on his cheek causing him to open his mouth in surprise as Rick snaps of picture after picture. "Great! You guys have a good time." Castle calls out as he examines the pictures just taken smiling. Ashley opens the door and is nearly out when Alexis releases his hand and runs back to give her father a hug.
She whispers "I love you dad" in his ear, quickly turns and walks out the door. Rick quickly wipes the tear from his cheek before the other women in the room can see him. He quietly mouths 'I love you too pumpkin, always'.
The rest of the evening was spent watching old movies and exchanging pleasant conversation amongst the three of them. Rick couldn't help but notice how Mindy looked at the diamond tennis bracelet that he had purchased for her for Christmas and smiled. She sat beside him on the sofa shyly taking his hand in hers. He broke the grip causing a surprised look from her until he draped the arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer into his side. She seemed to melt a little at the contact, molding into his side.
Martha quietly watched the exchange between the two. As badly as she hoped her son would find happiness with Kate, she realizes that it wasn't meant to be. In her typical overly dramatic manner, Martha rises from her seat and informs the couple that she is retiring for the night. The both wish her a good night and she is soon up the stairs and in her room.
"Thank you for the bracelet. It's beautiful." Mindy whispers into Rick's shoulder that she's resting her head on.
Rick smiles and looks away from the movie to her. "I'm glad that you like it." He gives her shoulder a little squeeze and sighs. This certainly wasn't the way he expected the holiday to go. Leaning his head closer to hers he whispers. "I'm sorry Mindy."
She lifts her head to look him in the eye. "For what?"
"For putting you in the middle of this mess.. Up until two nights ago, I thought that I was moving on. Ready to start a new chapter.."
"And then you see her and all of the old feelings came back." Mindy finishes his confession for him.
"Yeah, but there were more bad feelings than good. All of those painful memories came rushing back too."
"I understand Rick. Really, I do."
"Well that makes one of us." Castle nervously laughs. "I have a question.. I want an honest answer.." He pauses to chose his words carefully. "If this wasn't your assignment.. I mean if we would have met like a normal couple.. Would you be sitting here with me right now after everything you've seen in the last few days.."
Mindy's answer was fast and removes any doubt as she places the palms of her hands on his cheeks and presses her lips in a scorching kiss. She pulls back a few seconds later grinning as she sees the dazed look on his face. "Did that answer your question, or do I need to explain it again?"
Rick wraps both arms around her, pulling her close now unable to contain a smirk of his own. "I'm sort of confused. Can you explain that to me again?.."
X-X-X
It was after 11:00 pm when the government suburban that she had been riding in finally pulls up to her apartment building. Kate tries to wave off one of the FBI agents that started to follow her to her door. He shakes his head citing that he would have to answer to Jordan if he didn't follow her instructions to the letter. Beckett shrugs her shoulders, too tired to argue and walks to her door. She opens it and flips on the light switch by the door. The room fills with light and she scans to see if everything is the way she left it.
The agent enters the apartment first, gun drawn and goes from room to room turning on the lights as he went. She follows him from room to room signaling that everything is where it should be. Satisfied that everything is ok, the agent reaches into his coat and pulls out a device about the size of a pack of cigarette and flips the small switch on the side. A single green LED come on. The agent points to the device. "This is an ultrasonic scanner. If it finds any wireless listening devices the LED will turn red." He calmly states. "Everything looks good right now, but you may want to keep this on whenever you use your cell phone in the house.. Just in case."
Kate shakes the agent's hand thanking him and walks him to the front door. She quickly closes it and secures the deadbolt. Beckett walks to her sofa and plops down in exhaustion, more mental than physical. She sits there trying to process everything that has happened to her in the last few days. Kate has never felt as alone as she felt at this moment and the thought that she has to give up everyone and everything she ever had made her hate Bracken even more than she did already.
Her anger only grew as she thought how Castle and Shaw discussed her life as if she wasn't even there, making decisions that will effect her forever. Castle. Kate's mind was a trying to process a jumbled mess of conflicting bits and pieces of Rick's personality. The man that she was with the last two days may have looked like the Castle that she had been with with for five years, but that's where the similarity ended.
No, the man she had been with for all those years was more than willing to follow her lead, to act as a loyal puppy. The Castle she was with the last two days was determined, decisive, and confident in his abilities without being arrogant. And a CIA agent. Or at least a former agent. She thought back to her conversation with Meredith all those months ago. The conversation that fueled her doubts about Rick. 'Was this what she was talking about? Did Meredith know that he was living a double life?'
Kate's anger soon turns to a feeling of betrayal by Rick. That he didn't trust her enough to tell her about his past life. She ignores her own lies and betrayals of the man to focus her anger on him. Beckett gets up from the sofa and walks to the bedroom deciding she needed to at least try to get some sleep. Sitting on the bed, she unzips the boots and kicks them aside. She quietly slips out of her clothes and rummages through the travel bag for the tee shirt that she has slept in the last two nights. His shirt.
Minutes later, she's lying in her bed unable to get comfortable after spending the previous nights in Rick's plush bed. Even the sheets on her bed seem to scratch her skin fueling her discomfort. She can't shake the thought that things could have been so different if only she would have been honest with Castle. Beckett is reminded of Royce's last letter to her and she has to chuckle at the irony.
'If only.'