Her entire home was gone. London had been one of the first places to be hit hard by the virus. Firestorms and bombs ravished everything and anyone they could. Rachel didn't have a home to return to, but she would do everything she could to help the crew of the Nathan James get home. They deserved it. Her on the other hand would just have to find another place to call home. The Nathan James was just a temporary home to everyone, but Rachel couldn't get used to living on a ship at all. She didn't get seasick, but she didn't exactly find the rocking of the ship very soothing. She would rather be on something still. Rachel sighed as she walked up to the flight deck. she needed to get some air. Thinking of her home was too much. She was surrounded by sailors who still had homes to go back to. They may be broken homes but at least they still remained. Rachel took a deep breath as soon as she reached her destination. The crew were out playing football so she walked off to the side where she wouldn't be in the way and hopefully wouldn't be noticed. She stared down at the water and longed for her home, and everything in it. She really didn't have anything left now. When she had left her place to come aboard the Nathan James, she had not been able to bring many possessions with her.
"It's all gone now." She whispered to herself.
"What is?" The voice startled her causing her to jump. Rachel turned quickly to see the Captain staring at her with hands raised. "Whoa...I didn't mean to spook you Doc."
"It's fine." Rachel replied as she crossed her arms across her chest. She really didn't want to speak to anyone right now. Let alone the Captain.
"You okay?" Tom asked quietly. Rachel nodded.
"Yes."
"Something's bothering you."
"I'm fine Captain." She sighed and faced the water once again. Tom seemed to consider something.
"Is it Baltimore?" It had been a few months since the terrible events of Baltimore, but the crew were moving on. Tom himself had begun forgiving himself for the things that happened. He didn't know about Rachel though. She blamed herself for so many things he really couldn't pinpoint what could be wrong.
"No. I'm fine. Really Captain I just came up for fresh air." She tried to give him a convincing smile. He finally just gave in.
"Fine, but when you're ready to talk, come find me Dr. Scott." He smiled at her before leaving her alone once again. Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was time to get back to the lab. She had plenty to do. Surely it would keep her distracted for awhile.
…...
Work did help to forget all of her thoughts about everything except for producing the cure. Rachel was so engrossed in her work that she didn't even stop to take any breaks. If she even thought about taking one break her thoughts would just bring the sadness back.
"I thought I warned you about working this hard Dr. Scott." Tom said as he entered the lab without knocking. Rachel was startled, but did not jump this time. She looked at him with a smile.
"Hello again Captain."
"I brought dinner." He set down the tray on a table. "I figured you would be down here all night seeing as something's been bothering you lately." He crossed his arms and leaned against the table while he watched her. "What's wrong?"
"It's really nothing Captain Chandler."
"It's something Rachel." There it was. The one thing that could get her to give in. Her name coming from Tom's lips had her walls weakening. Tom stepped towards her slowly and placed a hand over hers. "Whatever it is you can tell me. I thought we told each other things now."
"We do...I just..." Rachel let out a shaky breath. "We're going back to Norfolk." Her head lowered to look down at the ground as if it was important all of a sudden. Tom was confused. Yes they were headed back that way, so that everyone could take a break and look for their families again while the ship got refueled.
"You've lost me Rachel."
"People are going home..." She was looking for the right words, but he could tell she was struggling with them. Something clicked in his mind and he finally got it. Ever since he announced that they would be returning home, Rachel had been distant and sad. Tom raised a hand to cup the woman's cheek. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes.
"You miss your home." He felt her nod and he gave her a sad smile. "But you can't go back I'm guessing."
"Remember when I told you about how hard England was hit? Everything is gone."
"Everything?"
"Yeah." Rachel closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling. "I can never go back...there's nothing to return to." Her pained expression made his heart clench.
"Come here." He pulled her in for a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly as the silent sobs began. "Let it out Rachel." He felt his shirt start to get wet from her tears, but she never let out a sound. Tom just held her while she cried. He rocked them back and forth while rubbing soothing circles on her back. Rachel began to settle down after a few minutes, and she didn't feel like moving from her spot. The way Tom held her made her feel safe. "Rachel?"
"Hmm?"
"Have you ever heard the phrase 'home is where the heart is'?" He felt her nod into his chest, so he continued. "Well where is your heart right now?"
"Tom..."
"I mean it Rachel." He pulled away to look at her tear streaked face. "You know where I stand."
"My heart...is here with you." She looked straight into his blue eyes. He had a big smile on his face.
"So then your home is always here. With me." He leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead. "You'll always have somewhere to return to Rachel. The kids love you, and I think we could make things work. I know I have a lot of baggage, but I really would like things to work out for us."
"Thank you Tom." Rachel pulled him down so that she could kiss him softly. "I'd love for things to work out too." He ran his hands down to her waist and pulled her closer to him. Before he kissed her again he whispered something that had her in tears.
"Welcome home Rachel." She had found a home on this ship after all. Maybe things really would be okay.