Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
-Marley's POV-
It's been a week, and Kitty's mom still hasn't woken up. Kitty hasn't left the hospital once, I've tried to get her to but she just refuses, and to be honest I don't have the heart to keep trying anymore. I see how much this is breaking her and how she is holding it all in. It's slowly changing her...and I'm not sure I like the way she's been changing. No, I know I don't like the way she's changing.
I just wish she would let it all out. All these different emotions that she's keeping built up inside her isn't good, for her or for anyone. At the moment, she's still my Kitty. At the moment she is, but I have this fear inside me that if her mom doesn't wake up, she won't be my Kitty anymore. She'll lose herself...She is loosing herself and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening.
I've tried to get her to open up about all of this, about how she's feeling, about what I can do to help her, anything, there isn't anything I wouldn't do to help her. But she won't, she just won't!
I can see those walls again, those walls that I spent so long breaking down are slowly being put up again...only this time they're taller, stronger and most probably invincible.
And nothing scares me more than the idea of that happening.
Toby's managed to get her out of the room a couple times, for simple things like food or just a breath of fresh air. But I can see that even he is beginning to lose hope. Hope that Ashley will ever wake up, hope that Kitty stays Kitty, hope that everything will be alright. He can't loose hope because if he does then I'm the only one left...and I can't do this alone.
All these thoughts are what bring me here in the middle of the night, wide awake in my bed that feels cold without Kitty laying beside me. I hate the thought of her in that hospital room alone (apart from her mom of course). I know she's awake, she hasn't slept a wink since her mom was put in that bed, any person could see that just from looking at her. It's because of that why I can't sleep either and I'm tired, I'm so tired. But I can't find it in me to fall asleep, not when my Kitty is going through hell...without me there to hold her.
She's slipping away from me, I know it. And the worst part...I don't know how to help her anymore.
…
"Hey," I try my best to give her a smile but a small yawn makes an appearance instead as I slowly step into the room I had become very acquainted with in the past week. I hadn't slept at all last night and it was definitely affecting how I was feeling today.
Kitty turns her head from the position I'm sure was the exact same from when I left her last night. She has a blank look on her face but I think I was getting used to that look now...I didn't want to.
"H-Hey," She speaks up and her voice is croaky and horse, it doesn't sound like her.
I make my way over to her and I notice my movements have become slightly sluggish. Sitting down next to her I let out a small sigh, my eyes slowly drifting before I force them to stay open again.
"You should sleep." Kitty speaks again, raspy and unrecognisable. My head snaps to look at her in slight surprise and a little anger.
"I-I should sleep? I should sleep?" I ask, my voice rising to a higher volume than normal. Without looking at me, she nods her head a little.
"You're tired...You should go home."
"I should go home...I shoul- Kitty you are the one that needs to go home! You're the one that needs sleep!" I finally tell her, well actually I yell at her since I can't take this anymore. This time she does look at me with slight surprise. I didn't know if she was going to say anything but if she was then I beat her to the punch.
"I have tried to be patient with you, I have tried to be understanding and let you come to me by yourself but...you just haven't Kit, you haven't and I need you to talk to me now, I need you to tell me how you're feeling!" I tell her desperately, panting slightly from the outburst that I had been holding in inside all this time. She's quite for a second before speaking up in a scarily calm voice.
"You wanna know how I'm feeling?"
I hesitate slightly at the shaky sound of her voice, not the scared kind of shaky, more like the angry kind of shaky. Nevertheless, I nod my head in confirmation. "Yes."
"You wanna know how I am feeling?" She asks again, in a disbelieving tone but still her voice remains scarily calm. I hesitate once more before deciding to nod my head again...I really wish I hadn't.
"Alright...alright, well let's just take a look at the events that have taken place so far. Um, my mom is in a hospital bed and I don't know whether she's going to wake up which also means that I'll be loosing another parent if she doesn't decide to open those eyes of hers, huh what else is there," she muses mockingly and I shake my head, my eyes closing involuntarily whilst I quietly ask her to stop it but she doesn't listen. "Oh yeah, I'm sorry I won't be losing another parent if this one decides to die on me as well will I because my dad that died didn't really die now did he because he wasn't my dad, no, no, no, my dad has actually been my uncle this whole time and no one decided that that was some kind of important piece of information that I need to know so instead I learn it around 16 years after my birth when I was never even meant to." She carries on, smiling humourlessly and her voice is beginning to get louder and louder with every word she speaks and no matter how many times that I have whispered for her to stop now she just keeps going and going and I can see her changing, I can see her letting it out but I'm not entirely sure that I want her to anymore.
Suddenly, she bursts out of her chair, causing a loud BANG noise to fill the room when the chair smashes against the floor and I can't help but to jump in fright, a small whimper escaping my lips as a small tear streams down the side of my face, although I don't think she notices as now her movements are filled with much less sarcasm and much more anger. I doubt she even realises I'm in the room anymore.
"So if my mom does decide to leave me, she is leaving me with some guy who I'm supposed to call dad when I only just met him a couple weeks ago. On top of that all I am still thick in the head and the only thing, the only thing that is keeping me even alive right now is my girlfriend, who is you, and she wants to know how I am feeling...How the fuck do you think I'm feeling, Marley?!" She screams at me and I flinch violently. She-She just swore, she swore at me and she yelled, no she screamed at me. She's never done that before, Kitty wouldn't do that, my Kitty would never, ever do that to me...
I open my eyes from when they had been tightly clenched shut to turn my head toward her and what I see is someone who is broken. She is broken and she is panting from all the anger inside of her, her face is flushed and she's looking at me with tired and scared and furious eyes and she is just broken.
And for the first time in my life...I'm scared of her.
I'm scared of the person who I always thought, no, I always knew would never hurt me. Who would protect me and always put my safety, my happiness, my everything before hers. And no matter how hard I try, I can't see that person anymore.
I sniff and stand up slowly, taking the small few steps forward until I come to a stop in front of her. I look deep into her eyes, trying desperately to find anything familiar in them, trying to find anything that will tell me Kitty is still here with me. But all I can see is anger and sadness and emptiness and she is broken.
"I don't know." I finally answer her and my voice is wavering, almost sounding watery.
She scoffs a small laugh, looking down and nodding her head. "Yeah, that's what I thought-"
"No, I mean...I don't know how to do this anymore, I don't know how to help you when I don't even know who you are anymore, Kitty." I tell her, interrupting what was probably going to be another heart breaking speech of hers that I really didn't want to hear right now.
Her look is questioning and the anger in those once loving eyes still hasn't dissolved away like I wish for them to.
"You...You don't know who I am?" She asks bluntly but her voice is shaky again, although I can't tell whether it's out of anger or sadness anymore.
I shake my head, my bottom lip quivering uncontrollably as I whimper out a small no.
"I'm your girlfriend-"
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am-"
"No, Kitty you're not!" I raise my voice to the point where you could call it yelling. "You're changing and-and I don't know what to do, look I can't help you if you don't let me in."
"What are you talking about, 'let you in', Marley I have been letting you in for a long time now-"
"No, you're shutting me out."
"I am not shutting you out-"
"Yes, you are-!"
"Stop interrupting me!" She cuts me off this time, causing me to flinch again. "Look, I don't have time for this, I think you should leave." She tells me and I look at her in shock, desperate for her to see me. "Right now." She says again when I don't move an inch, but instead of moving my legs I move my head instead and shake it a little.
"You don't have time for this?" I ask her after a few seconds of complete, dead silence. "You don't have time for me?" I ask again, this time rephrasing my choice of words as I look her straight in the eye, feeling that sharp, violent pain in my chest as I await her answer.
"No." She says it so easily that it hurts my heart even further.
"You sit in this room every day, not talking, barely even moving, not doing anything and you say you don't have time for me?" I ask again, not quite believing what I'm hearing.
"No."
"You don't want me? Not just here but at all anymore?" I ask my final question, my voice still wavering with every word it spoke.
"I need you to leave."
"You don't want me here?"
"Marley, please just leave-"
"Just say it-"
"No! Alright, I don't want you here!" She yells and I jump back, pursing my lips together and nodding my head.
"Kitty, I'm trying to help you-"
"Well, I don't need your help! I don't want your help!" She finally says and I look at her with tears streaming down my face.
"I love you." I whimper, desperate to hear her say it back, to know that my Kitty is still in there somewhere and she isn't completely gone.
"Marley...Please, just leave." She asks me a final time, no longer looking at me. I'd like to think she's doing that because she can't bear to see me cry but...I just don't know her anymore.
I know that I should have stayed, that I should have fought for her and got her to open up to me like she would do for me but I didn't because I couldn't stand to stay here any longer and watch her break.
So, with tears streaming and a painful sob, I am quick to flee the room. Leaving behind a Kitty I don't recognize.
Leaving behind a Kitty who is broken seemingly beyond repair.
…
-No One's POV-
Kitty sighed deeply as she watched her love walk away in tears. She wanted to go after her, she did...but at the same time, she didn't. She loved Marley, with all her heart she loved her but the thing was that she could feel herself getting angrier and angrier by the minute, still she couldn't process in her mind what was happening, no it's not that she couldn't, it's that she wouldn't. She didn't mean to lash out at Marley, but it was when she did that she realised her girl needed to get far away from her.
She didn't want Marley to get pulled into all of this mess, she had her own life she needed to live and Kitty wanted her to live it, she wanted Marley to go back to her old, amazing little self.
Which was why she didn't say it back. She wanted to, god did she want to, but the truth was...she believed that Marley was better off without her.
"Dammit!" The blonde yelled out in frustration, plopping herself down roughly in the seat her girl was previously sat in.
She sat there for a few moments, her breathing heavy and her gaze intense, before she furrowed her eyebrows in wonder. Hesitant, she slowly turned her head slightly to the side, so that her nose was pressed up against the base of the furniture. Still unsure, she took a small but hopeful little sniff before scrunching her eyebrows together more harshly and pulling herself away quickly.
"Why do they have to sanitize everything in here?" She grumbled to herself in annoyance and slight desperation. It may have seemed strange to someone if they saw her peculiar actions with a mere chair, the blonde would have probably just glared at them in return.
What she wouldn't tell them is that she was trying to smell any left over scent her love may have left on the seat. It'd only been a couple minutes, but that was all it took for Kitty to start missing her.
Running a tired hand through her silky hair, she sighed once more before looking at her still unmoving mother. "I need to get some air." She sighed out before standing up and getting some much needed space from the now too familiar room.
…
Kitty found herself walking to the cafeteria as she realised she hadn't eaten anything in a long while and her stomach was beginning to notice...and not very quietly either.
As she stepped into the eating area, she walked up solemnly towards the queue...not actually realising there was one however as she stepped right in front of a man who was next up.
"Hey, buddy, what the hell do you think you're doin'?" He asked her in disbelief. At the sound of his voice, Kitty slowly turned around to face this person who had interrupted her not-so-important thoughts. He looked to be in his mid forty's but still looked like he could handle himself as he was fairly well built. After analysing him for a little bit, Kitty smiled.
"Oh come on, we're all friends here, bud! So, what are you in for?" She asks him, her very huge and very fake and very mocking smile still plastered on her face. The frustrated man looked at her with furrowed eyebrows and crossed his arms whilst pushing his chest out, which only made Kitty smile more from the typical 'man' like actions of intimidation. She knew he had no chance at all of succeeding, especially in this moment in time when she literally had nothing to lose right now.
"Excuse me?"
"Y'know, like why are you here? Come on buddy, I'm speaking pure English here!" She mocked further, although she wasn't quite sure where she was going to lead this, she just loved the angry look this stranger was sending her...somehow, she felt this was exactly what she deserved.
"My sister," He grumbled in annoyance and slight warning, although the blonde in front of him refused to stop her dangerous jabs.
"Oh, that sucks man...She hot?" The blonde asked bluntly, not completely having control over her actions or words. The look on this man's face was one of truly indescribable anger and disbelief.
"You wanna say that again cause I'm not sure I heard you right?" He said in a voice filled with deep danger and warning. However, either Kitty doesn't notice or pretends not to notice.
"Oh yeah sure, man. I asked you if this sister of yours was hot, y'know like, she doable?"
"You sick freak!" Is all the man roars in anger as his fist connects harshly with the side of the blondes temple.
Her head swings violently to the side, only for her to slowly bring it back around again with that taunting smile still disbelievingly plastered on her face as she walks a step closer to the now fuming man before her.
"Aw come on, you call that a punch? Now, I know you can do better than that. Come on, hit me." She speaks up again, that mocking tone still evident in her voice as if the previous ten seconds had never took pace.
It took the man by surprise, however only for a few moments as in the next few seconds, his fist went straight back to pounding on the blondes face, who only stirred and encouraged him further. The scene was one of pure shock, violence and confusion to bystanders who stood frozen to their spot, watching someone who looked as if they could easily look after themselves, not even put up a fight against the person who was muscling all their strength into painting blood and bruises all over her pale skin.
"Kitty! Hey, hey! Come on, break it up!" A frantic and confused and fairly frustrated Toby Wilde came rushing back from his visit to the bathroom only to find his kid once again involved in a violent fist fight.
Gripping tightly onto the angry man's shirt, Toby ripped him off of the blonde teenager and immediately pulled his kid up by her shirt and his arms around her chest from behind as tight as he could so Kitty couldn't move even if she wanted to.
The sight of her was too bloodied up for someone to try to describe without getting an upset stomach. It was as if someone had splashed a bucket of deep red paint all over her body.
Usually, Kitty would be fighting to get back into the fight, but in this case however she was too dazed and beaten to have the strength. In fact, she looked as if she could pass out any minute. The man who caused this was more than ready to get back to destroying said girl, if it weren't for some male nurses finally arriving to the scene to drag the man away.
"The hell you doin' kid?" Toby sighed deeply. He saw how all of this was effecting her, anyone could see she was barely coping. He just didn't think it would result in her actually asking for a beating.
He needed to toughen up now, he needed to be there for his kid. Even if she didn't want him to, it was time he started to do right by her. First thing first, she needed cleaning up. Desperately.
"Well, just feel lucky that this all went down in a hospital." He said to the slightly swaying blonde, a small attempt to maybe lighten the mood. He knew it was a long shot, but hoped that maybe it would have an effect, however small that effect may be. "Come on chief, lets get you cleaned up."
…
"Look, I don't wanna hear it alright?" Kitty spoke up in a tired tone after twenty minutes of complete silence whilst she was getting cleaned up. The nurse had left a couple minutes ago and luckily Kitty just had a few scrapes and bruises, nothing too serious. Although, she would have those few scrapes and bruises for a while.
Toby was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest in a calm manner. In fact, he looked almost too calm considering the events that had taken place. "Hear what?"
His voice was soothing and soft. It may have even been able to calm Kitty down if she weren't so confused as to why his voice was so soothing and so soft.
"That what I did was stupid and reckless and that I'm a complete idiot for ever thinking it was a good idea." Kitty replied rather bluntly, with a raised eyebrow in question. The corner of the blonde man's lips lifted up slightly in amusement.
"Is that what you think? That what you did was stupid and reckless and that it wasn't even close to being a good idea?"
"Honestly?" Kitty asked in reply, only for the man across from her to nod his head slightly in curiosity. "No." She answered simply. "No, that's not what I think."
The stared at each other hardly, each one wandering who was going to break first. Eventually, Toby sighed and his head almost looked as if it was shaking slightly in dissapointment.
"Well, you know what, Kitty? That is exactly what you should be thinking because what you did was stupid and reckless and you are a complete idiot for ever thinking that it was a remotely good idea!" He scolded her, his voice rising with every syllable that left his mouth until his tone could pass of as being a loud shout. His stance didn't change, however it looked as if it had stiffened greatly.
Kitty however didn't even flinch, in fact she only seemed to match her company's mood.
"Well, I'm sorry that my way of coping with my problems aren't up to your standards-"
"I'm sorry, coping? You call what you're doing coping, Kitty?!" He asked her in disbelief, a slight scoff following the last word that left his lips.
"Actually yeah I do, and who the hell are you to question me on how to cope?!" Kitty bit right back, her voice reaching round about the same volume as her counterparts.
"What is that supposed to mean-"
"You ran! When things got bad, when my mom needed you, when I needed you, you just ran away. My father died, no, your brother died and you just left me and my mom to pick up the broken pieces. Where were you when we needed you, huh? Oh that's right...You were coping." Kitty finished bitterly and looked at the man before her, breathing heavily after her small outburst.
Toby gazed at the girl before him with deep, emotionless eyes.
"You done?" He asked softly, looking at the still heavy breathing blonde, feeling both sadness and happiness at her words. The happiness came from the fact that she was finally letting something out and of course, it's not so difficult to guess where the sadness came from.
Kitty nodded her head slightly, looking away from his deep gaze. She felt a little guilty for putting some blame on him, although she had to admit, the weight on her shoulders felt considerably lighter.
Toby let out a deep sigh and brought a hand up from his crossed arms to rub his eyes in exhaustion. "Look, Kitty I...I know that I didn't exactly make it easier on you or your mom-"
"You don't have to-"
"No, just...listen alright? I know that I should have been there, right by your side, by both of your sides. But I just...Alright, I was scared, okay? And guilty, god I felt so...so guilty and I didn't feel like it was fair that I got to be with you guys when David couldn't. It um, it wasn't my place to take." He finished with another sigh and Kitty stared at him for a few seconds before shaking her head.
"You don't get it, do you? You were never meant to take his place, you were just meant to be there." She explained in a softer voice, having calmed down completely by now. Toby did something next which came as quite a surprise to the blonde before him; he smiled.
"When did you get so grown up, kid?" He asked with the hint of a loving tone as he slowly walked forward to take a seat next to his mini copy of himself. Kitty allowed herself a small smile as she shrugged her shoulders slightly.
"Kitty...Leaving you and your mom is and always will be my biggest regret, and as much as I want to I can't change what happened. I know that it's going to be a while before you can find it in yourself to forgive me but um...I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere this time, alright? I mean, even if you never forgive me which is understandable; I'll still be there, by your side...Which is where I should have been all along. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realise that kid." He finished gently, nudging the girl in question affectionately. Kitty had been gazing directly in front of her the whole time and by the time Toby had finished speaking, she felt the familiar warm liquid welling up in her eyes.
Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she brought her shirt sleeve up to rub roughly at the dampness of her eyes before turning to look at the understanding man beside her with a small smile tugging at her lips. "Thanks." She croaked out, although it sounded more like a whisper.
Nevertheless, Toby heard it loud and clear as both Wilde's smiled their same gentle and kind smile directed toward one another. The taller of the two Wilde's patted the smaller on the shoulder a few times before hopping off the bed.
"Come on chief, lets go. I got an idea that might help with all of your anger." Toby suggested with the Wilde smile still plastered on his face. Kitty gave back a small smile in return, although this one looked a little on the confused side of things.
With a deep sigh of agreement, the blonde girl hopped off the table only to regret it as she winced from the still very strong feeling of pain. Toby raised an eyebrow in question, which Kitty just nodded her head too as if to say she was okay. Even though she was pretty far from it but she did have to admit, Toby did let her take her mind of the fact that she could lose everything.
As she followed him through the hospital doors still in a state of bewilderment, she felt the corner of her lips lift up slightly as she recalled what the man had called her just now. She'd never really had a nick name before...well apart from when Unique calls her 'Wilde-cat', but this one felt different somehow...Kinda like what a parent would call their child in affection.
That idea brought a full on smile to the blonde girls lips.
…
"What are we doin' here? Shouldn't we be with mom?" Kitty asked confusedly as she found herself standing in the middle of what looked to be a training area for boxers.
"You have spent all your time with your mother Kitty, I don't think she'd mind if you had a little break." Toby smiled comfortingly, before leading her over to a punching bag. Surprisingly enough, there wasn't anyone else in the building at the minute and whilst Kitty wondered silently on that detail, Toby further explained.
"Whenever I feel angry, like I wanna just lash out at something or someone, I come here. I let off some steam, put all my anger into beating up this punching bag right here and y'know what? I feel so much better afterwards. So, I was thinking, maybe this could work for you too." He smiled lightly as he patted the worn out looking punch bag that floated beside him.
The mini version of him raised an eyebrow before walking forward slowly and observing the object before her curiously. After a few seconds, she turned back to look at the expectant man beside it.
"Why is there no one else here?" She asked, having not been able to come up with an explanation in her head.
"Um, that would be due to my closing it down for the day." Toby explained smoothly, shrugging his shoulder slightly in a non-caring manner. However, Kitty's eyes only widened in reply.
"You...Wait, do you like, own this place?"
"Well, aren't you just the smartest person in all of London Sherlock." Toby grinned playfully causing Kitty to give him a not-so-amused glare in return before the corner of her lips lifted up slightly at the familiar cheeky look on the man's face.
"So, like what, you're a boxer or something?" She questioned, curiosity taking over her. All of a sudden she felt this need inside her, the need to want to learn everything about this guy. She wanted to know if he was really anything like her, if they shared any similarities. Somehow she felt that if they did, they would be closer or she could be completely sure that Toby really was her father. She knew that he was, deep down inside she knew but...still, she felt like she needed proof, some kind of evidence just to prove it was true. That way, she could then at least begin to accept it.
"Or something," Toby chuckled lightly as he moved to lean against the wall before continuing. "I mean, I don't box professionally or anything but I'm not too bad either. I just do it to clear my mind, it's more of a hobby than a profession. I think you'd enjoy it...David sure did." Toby mentioned, his smile turning a little on the sad side.
Kitty paused in all actions at the mention of her dad...Uncle? She didn't know what to call him anymore.
"Really? My dad...He did this stuff with you?" Kitty asked, quickly and sadly correcting herself. Toby noticed this and gave her a soft, understanding smile in return.
"Kitty, it's alright. You can say 'dad', I won't be offended, I promise." He assured, Kitty only nodded in reply before going back to studying the punching bag in front of her. "And to answer your question, yes he did. It was probably his favourite thing to do, unlike me he actually did wanna go professional and I always knew he had the potential to do it. I remember ever since he was a little kid and he got boxing gloves for Christmas, all he wanted to do was go in the ring or hit the bag." Toby smiled fondly at the memory and Kitty snapped her gaze over to him with a hesitant smile tugging at her lips.
"No one ever talks to me about dad." Kitty mentioned with a small drop of sadness coating her tone. It was true, she'd always wanted to hear stories of her old man, see if she shared any similar traits with him, but everyone had found it too painful to tell and would usually snap at her...everyone meaning her mother.
"Well, I can see how it may be a bit too...hard for people to talk about someone who was so close to them. But I can also see why you would want to hear about him and if you want, I'd be happy to tell you stories about me and him. I've got plenty."
"Um, that would be...awesome." Kitty smiled excitedly before focusing all her attention on the man with the information.
Toby smiled happily and began to tell the best kind of stories he remembered about him and his brother. He'd always wanted to talk about him with someone who actually knew him. He knew Kitty was only young when he died but no doubt she remembered parts, the important parts.
He told her many stories, most consisted of how much David loved sport but his true passion was boxing. Both Wilde brothers did it for fun but like Toby mentioned before, David was very determined to make a living out of his talent.
"So wait, if he was so sure that he wanted to go professional, and you thought he was good enough, no you knew he was good enough then...why didn't he?" Kitty questioned curiously, it was the one thing so far she couldn't get her head around. Toby paused for a few seconds and looked at the kid in front of him.
"Because of you." He answered simply and Kitty looked at him with a mix of surprise and confusion. "Also your mother, but mostly you. He loved boxing...but he loved you more." Toby spoke with remorse and guilt lined his tone slightly as his gaze turned to look at he ground.
"Why'd you do it?" Kitty asked after a few seconds of silence, her voice was so hesitant it could easily pass off as a whisper.
"What?"
"Why'd you sleep with my mom? She'd been with my dad for a long time and well, you and him seemed pretty close so I just can't understand why you would do that to him." Kitty explains, her calm and relaxed stature changing to that of one of confusion and misunderstanding. When they first met, Toby and her mom had explained that he wasn't very close with her dad...She guessed that was yet another lie made up by her mother no less.
Toby studied her with an almost hesitant look, laced with guilt. After a moment, he gave a deep and heavy sigh before turning his gaze away from her. He didn't think he had the strength to look her in the eye as he attempted to explain himself.
"I didn't want to. I know that may be hard to believe considering, but if you choose to believe anything, then please Kitty, believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt him. Your...dad, was a great man, probably the greatest man I've ever known and he didn't deserve what we did to him but...Listen, I'm not gonna try and convince you that what we did, what I did wasn't wrong because it was and I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life." He began to explain, slowly lifting his gaze from the ground to attempt a glance at Kitty, only to fortunately find her listening to him with a calm expression on her face. With the peaceful thought that she didn't seem to angry yet, he continued, this time being sure to hold his kids gaze.
"Kitty, I'm gonna be completely honest with you because after all that's happened, you deserve nothing less. When David first brought Ashley home, I couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. But she was with him and I respected that for a long time, even though after a while I found myself falling in love with her. I know that you of all people know who you fall for is completely uncontrollable. I tried to move on, I tried really hard but...I guess you can never really avoid the fact that you're never going to fall in love with someone when you've already fell for someone else. It's like trying to fall over when you're already on the floor; impossible. Being in love Kitty, was honestly the worst years of my life. Y'know, I remember watching those romantic movies and always wanting to shoot myself when the guy got the girl and they both were so happy because they loved each other. Being in love didn't make me happy, it made me sadder than I've ever been. It's not a gift, it's a curse. At least, it was for me anyway. Seeing your love happy with someone else...well, that's about the worst feeling you could ever experience, chief." He told her, a small, unamused smile on his lips as Kitty continued to listen carefully.
"Which is why, when I found out she felt something for me too...I just couldn't help myself. For the first time in my life, I didn't think about how my actions could effect my brother, my family, all I thought about was how much I wanted her, how long I had waited to have her in my arms and...be happy being in love." He explained in a soft, far away voice as he recalled the events he remembered most in life. "What we did was wrong, Kitty and I know that...But at the time, I'd never felt anything more right. When she found out she was pregnant, she told me it was David's."
Kitty blinked in surprise and looked down with furrowed eyebrows. It was silent for a few moments before she looked up in complete bewilderment. "Wait, so neither of you-"
"Knew that you were actually mine? No, we didn't. That's why I ran Kitty, I couldn't cope with the fact that the love of my life was having my brothers child." Toby explained sadly and had a small ounce of regret in his tone. Kitty stood for a while, her eyebrows furrowed, her stature tense as she tried to process all this new information.
"So, if you didn't know then...When did you know?" Kitty asked, for some reason dreading his answer inside. The man in question stared at her for a moment, wondering whether he should tell her the truth or not. He decided she had been told enough lies.
"Around about...Two weeks ago." He admitted, awaiting her reaction with little eager.
"Two weeks..." She breathed out in shock. Turns out he had known around about the same time she did. Which means he didn't abandon her, he didn't run away.
"Kitty, I've done a lot of stupid things...But abandoning my unborn child, intentionally, is something I would never do." He informed the still frozen girl truthfully. "I promise you, if I knew about you back then I would have stayed and-"
"Would you have told my dad?" Kitty asked after not having said anything in a while.
"I'm sorry?"
"If you did know, that I was yours...Would you have told him?" She asks again, inside she already knew the answer. She just wanted to see if he would tell the truth. Toby sighed and studied her features, he knew the answer before she even asked the question. He also knew that Kitty would most probably not like it.
"No, I wouldn't have told him for the exact same reason I didn't tell him about my feelings for his wife. He deserved to be happy, telling him would only make the situation messier." He explained but Kitty only shook her head in reply.
"No, he deserved to know that his child wasn't actually his...He gave up his dream for nothing."
"No, Kitty not for nothing, for you! Look, I know you think that it was wrong to let him 'pretend' to be your dad but the thing is...There are all different kinds of children Kitty. Some are born to you and some just occur to you." He said, trying hard to find the words to pt his point across whereas Kitty just stared at him in bewilderment.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that he was your dad and you were his daughter. Blood has nothing to do with it." He explained further and this time, Kitty seemed to understand as her stance softened. Toby smiled kindly, showing that he took no offence to his statement. He knew that right now his brother was much more of a father to Kitty than him. He didn't want to change that, he just wanted to be of equal importance to the mini blonde.
"So, uh you wanna try this out or what?" Toby asked after seconds of comfortable silence as he patted the heavy bag once more.
"Depends. Any more secrets I gotta know about?" Kitty asked curiously as she stood in front of the punch bag. Toby faltered slightly before answering.
"None that you need to...Right now, anyway." He replied causing Kitty to eye him questioningly before his smile reappeared once more. "Well, come on then, give it a go."
Kitty sighed before weakly throwing a punch the bag to which Toby raised an eyebrow at.
"My Grandma can throw a better punch than that. And she's dead." He taunted and Kitty gave him a dirty look before throwing another punch, this time a little harder but still barely making the bag move. "Come on, Kitty. I know first hand you can do better than that."
Kitty tried again, this time a little harder.
"That's it, move your hips, it'll give you more force." Toby explained as he moved to lean against the wall as Kitty's punches got harder and harder, more forceful ever time as she moved her hips in time with the blows and let out all the concealed anger.
Thirty minutes later Kitty collapsed from exhaustion onto the floor, sweating and panting heavily. Toby smiled, amused as he walked over to sit next to the worn out blonde, all the while clapping his hands together slowly.
"Wow, I haven't seen someone work that hard for that long since..."
"Since what?" Kitty managed to breathe out when Toby didn't say anything else. The blonde man sighed before his lips lifted up slightly.
"Since David." He replied simply, turning his head to look at her to see her lips lift up slightly in return.
They sat there for a minute in comfortable silence as Kitty caught her breath back. Once her breathing was back to normal, Toby turned to her curiously.
"So...You wanna tell me where your girl was today? She always comes to keep you company." He states with a small confused look. Kitty's features change from calm and relaxed to sad and stiff in a matter of seconds.
"Actually, she did..." Kitty tells him bluntly and Toby waited for her to continue. When he realised that she never intended to speak further, he spoke up instead.
"And?"
"And..." Kitty sighed deeply, avoiding the man's gaze at all cost. "She deserves better...I'm never gonna be good enough for her."
"Bullshit." Is the blunt reply she gets from the blonde man beside her causing her to snap her head around to look at him in confusion.
"What-"
"That's bull Kitty and you know it is. The soul fact that you think you're not good enough is the whole reason why you are. Now, you need to get your head out of your ass and realise that that girl loves you just as much as you love her-"
"No, she doesn't! It is impossible for anyone to feel about someone the way I feel about her. But it doesn't matter how I feel, it matters how she feels and...and I am not what she deserves." She spoke brokenly and Toby scoffed before abruptly standing up, shocking the blonde girl a little bit.
"Just listen to yourself! Y'know, you're really starting to piss me off-"
"Why? Because I want what's best for her-?!"
"No, because you are making the biggest mistake of your damn life! How dare you feel sorry for yourself-"
"What are you-"
"You sit there, pretending you got nothing, well let me tell you this chief, you got a girl who loves you back. Do you know how much I would have killed for something like that when I was your age. I had a love that ran just as deep as yours, the only difference, your other half has the exact same feelings towards you. You already have your happy in love, don't throw it away. Don't do what I did Kitty because you don't have to nor do you have any reason to. Don't run away." He spoke, the sound of his voice lowering in volume through each word he spoke until it was back to being calm and soft again.
"Now, I know I'm being harsh here but...Don't follow my method of coping because it seriously doesn't work, not for you or for anyone else. Show me how you're gonna cope with this, kid." He continued as Kitty slowly nodded her head.
"Now make me proud and go do what I didn't have the courage to." He tells her with a smile as she slowly stands to her feet.
"Go fight for your girl. Go fight for your happy love."
...
After Toby's pep talk, Kitty was determined to fix her ruins and fight for Marley. She very well expected Marley to turn her away or even refuse to ever see her face again, but she was prepared for anything. Whatever Marley through at her, she was prepared to fight it back.
She didn't want to end up like Toby. She didn't want to run from the one who made her happy being in love. She didn't intend to.
Which brought her to now. Toby had went back to the hospital and promised he would inform her of any changes...Although she strongly doubted that any changes would happen any time soon, she appreciated it.
She was standing on the front porch of the home she now knew just as well as her own. She couldn't remember a time she felt more nervous. Kitty had thought of over a hundred apology speeches she could say to Marley on the way here and yet each one never seemed good enough for her.
Deciding to somehow wing it, she sucked in a deep breath before knocking on the oak a few times, impatiently waiting for a response with very little eager.
"Why is it whenever I see you, your face looks like you've fallen off a cliff and landed on it?" A familiar and calming voice causes Kitty to snap her head up and realise that the door had been opened and now had Mrs. Rose standing in its place. She had that same warm smile on her face and it comforted Kitty beyond belief.
"Um, yeah I um...Hi, Mrs. Rose." Kitty finally said, not having been able to come up with an excuse for her face. She had forgotten all about her little 'confrontation' with that man earlier and just now realised that Toby was right in it being completely stupid and reckless.
"Hello, dear." Millie greeted back kindly before her smile faltered and became one of sympathy. "Kitty, I'm...About what happened to your mother, oh sweetie I'm-"
"I know, thank you." Kitty replied with a smile of her own directed to the woman who she considered a second...no, third...fourth? The woman she considered another parent to her.
"Marley's in her room, I'll just go get her." The large woman informed the blonde but before she could turn away, Kitty called out for her once more causing the warm lady to turn around in concern.
"Um, I just wanted to say that uh...I missed you." The blonde finally managed to say after a moment of stuttering. The Rose woman seemed to melt with happiness as she blushed a deep rose colour (the irony) and smiled wildly at the charming little Wilde she had come to love like her own daughter.
"Oh, Kitty that's so...I missed you too, sweetie." Mrs. Rose smiled wildly with her hand on her heart, the blush on her cheeks still very visible which causes Kitty to have an overwhelming feeling of happiness wash over from the fact that she actually made someone feel good.
The kind Rose woman went to leave before turning around again, as if she had only just realised something very important. "Kitty, dear...What are you doing knocking? And before you say anything of course I knew about you sneaking up to Marley's room on your nightly visits, you two aren't exactly quiet."
At that statement, Kitty's cheeks immediately turned a deep crimson colour as they heated up in embarrassment. "Uh, I um...Oh my God, I'm so sorry Mrs. Rose, I-I swear to God we didn't do anything, I mean I would never do that to your daughter, well not never because y'know she is beautiful, I mean I'm not saying that I would never want to but-but I respect her and-and you! And...Oh God, kill me now." Kitty mumbled, as she tried and failed to explain herself whilst covering her face with her hands. The older of the Roses only gave a hearty laugh as she thought the blonde was absolutely adorable.
"Kitty, Kitty calm down, sweetheart! I know you respect my Marley and me, you have nothing to worry about! And when the time does come where two will, um...well, you know. I'm happy that you will be Marley's first. I trust you to look after my baby girl." She smiled, defusing the awkwardness of the situation.
The Wilde girl stared at the woman before her, guilt overtaking as she felt she had already failed her simple request. "Thank you. I will do nothing less, I promise."
"I know...So, are you going to answer my question?" Millie asked once more, smiling when Kitty gave her a confused look. "Why are you knocking?"
"Oh, right um...I figured it would hurt less if Marley pushed me out of the front door rather than a tree." The blonde explained and received furrowed eyebrows of bewilderment from the Rose woman.
Deciding not to get mixed up with 'teenage problems', Mrs. Rose just nodded her head, pretending to understand before fully turning around and walking up the stairway to retrieve her daughter.
Kitty watched her go and began to pace nervously, still she couldn't think of the right words to say to her gir-...To Marley. Nothing she thought of seemed good enough.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Rose had trekked all the way up the stairs and was now knocking on Marley's door. "Marley, sweetie someone's here to see you."
"I don't wanna talk to anyone right now." Came the muffled response through the door making the mother to that voice smile as she continued to persuade.
"I think you're going to want to talk to this person, sweetheart."
"No, mom trust me, there isn't anyone at that door who could make me get up from this bed."
"It's Kitty."
Almost immediately, the door to the brunettes room opened abruptly, revealing a dishevelled looking Marley. Her eyes were red rimmed, but the elder of the Roses decided not to question it since she guessed that seeing Kitty would make her daughter feel better anyway.
"Really?" The brunette in question asked hesitantly, chewing on her lip which her mother knew was a nervous habit her daughter had picked up long ago. Millie only smiled and nodded her head before retreating to her room, deciding to give the two teenagers some privacy. She could tell they had a few things they needed to sort out between each other, but she had no doubt that they could do it on their own.
Marley took peek down the stairs nervously to see an equally nervous Kitty pacing back and forth in the doorway. The blue eyed brunette gulped before moving forward slightly.
Almost as quickly as she took a step forward, she took three steps back and turned to look at herself in the hallway mirror. "Oh my God, I look horrible!" Marley squeaked as quietly as she could as she freaked out, trying to smooth out her crazy hair and wipe furiously at her eyes from when she had been crying whilst buried under her covers.
Once she looked somewhat presentable, she sucked in a deep breath before slowly making her way down the stairs. When she finally made it to the doorway, she saw an even more nervous looking Kitty still pacing back and forth. This made her relax a bit as a smile twitched at her lips from the familiarity of Kitty's cuteness.
"Kitty?" Marley spoke softly, making her presence known and also seeming to scare Kitty out of her mind as she jumped a foot into the air. Marley tried to stifle her giggle but ended up failing as she saw the truly surprised and slightly frightened look on the blondes face. "Are you okay?"
Almost as soon as she said it, she felt strong arms wrap themselves around her waist tightly and what felt like a...head? Pressed up against her stomach. She looked down to see Kitty on her knees as she hugged her waist tightly and she's sure that she felt that familiar warmth in her chest of her heart slowly melting.
"Please don't break up with me." Kitty spoke desperately, clutching tightly at the soft material of the brunettes shirt. "I didn't mean what I said back at the hospital, I do need you, I need you more than anyone, I want you more than anything. I just didn't want to burden you...I'm not good enough for you and I'm sorry-"
"Okay, just stop! Kitty, how many times do I have to tell you that you are more than good enough to me! Now, stop with this nonsense and just trust me when I say that there is no one else who can make me happier than you do." Marley interrupted and Kitty's heart just may have skipped a beat from the happy relief she got from every word in that statement. Slowly she began to stand up, but her arms didn't move nor loosen their hold on the brunettes waist.
"I'm sorry." They both said in unison, causing a small laugh to be released from both of their lips.
"What are you apologizing for?" They said, once again at the same time and Marley playfully brought her hand up to cover Kitty's mouth.
"Okay, what are you apologizing for? I'm the one who left you all alone and oh my God, what happened to your face?!" Marley exclaims in horror as she actually looks at Kitty.
Kitty laughs a little bit and looks down, sheepish. "Um, I uh was coping?" She stated, but it came out as more of a question. Looking at Marley's unimpressed and slightly confused look, Kitty decided to just move on. "Y'know what? Doesn't matter, what matters is that you should not be the one apologizing! I was the ass-hole in this situation, I should be the one on my knees and begging for your forgiveness!" The blonde exclaims whilst getting on her knees in the process and spreading her arms out in a wild gesture to prove her point as her voice rose in volume with each word she spoke.
Marley was unable to contain her giggles as she tried to shush her still thankfully current girlfriend. "Shh! Kitty, be quiet, it's one o'clock in the morning, I have neighbours who like sleep!" Marley told her in a very hushed voice but couldn't bring herself to wipe away the huge smile that had appeared on her face. She literally couldn't, she was trying really, but it seemed too impossible.
"I don't care about them. I don't care about anyone else, all I care about is you, Marley Rose! And I will kneel here all night if that is what it takes to deserve your forgiveness! I love you. And I am not afraid to tell anyone, I don't care who knows it! I want everyone to know, I wanna shout it out to the world! I am in love with Marley Rose! Hear that? I love her! I Kitty Wilde am completely in love with Marley Rose!"
"Hey, buddy! Do ya mind? People are trying to sleep here!" A grumpy looking man yelled from the window of the house next to Marley's. Marley's cheeks turned an even deeper red for a whole different reason, whereas Kitty turned her attention to him, still on her knees and still with a smile.
"Sorry, man but I can't hold it in any longer! I-"
"Love her, I know! Can't you tell her that in the morning?"
"No sir I can't, she needs to know now!" Kitty exclaims playfully, although the grumpy man didn't seem to find it so funny, even though Marley did as she put her hand over her mouth to try and conceal her giggles. Mr. Jameson was never really that kind of a man, morning or night. Although his wife surprisingly was as she made herself known, popping her head out the window also with a bright smile on her face.
"Oh Frank, let the kids be, don't you remember what it's like to be young and in love?" The kind woman asked, looking almost as if she was swooning and melting at the same time as she looked at the two teenagers.
"No."
"Oh, hush you. You go, Marley! You got yourself a keeper there, and cute too! Don't let go of that one, dear." Mrs. Jameson yells out to the blushing brunette, making both teenagers laugh heartily.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Jameson." Marley spoke, turning to face Kitty once more. "I won't."
Kitty smiled brightly before she felt herself being tugged inside by the collar of her shirt.
"Thank God, now we can get some sleep." Frank grumbled going back inside with his wife following after him.
"Oh come on, you know they're adorable!" She chastised as they dissapeared from the streets site.
"I don't think he likes me very much, the wife was nice though." Kitty stated as Marley shut the front door and turned around to face her love with a playful glint in her eye.
"You only like her because she was kissing your ego." She smiled playfully to which Kitty nodded her head in agreement.
"True, true, there was that small detail." She admitted with a light smile to which Marley raised an eyebrow at.
"Did you mean what you said?" Marley asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence.
"Which part?" Kitty asked jokingly but pulled Marley into her when all she received was a glare in return. "Come on, of course I did. Every word. Marley Rose...My wasted heart is going to love you until the day I die, no, way after the day I die. Call it, forever."
"How can you know that for sure?" Marley bites her lip whilst wrapping her arms comfortably around the blonde's neck as Kitty lent back against the wall, her hands taking their place on the brunette's waist.
"I don't." Kitty answered honestly, smiling a bit at the adorable confused look her love pulled.
"How can I know it for sure?"
"You can't." Kitty stated making Marley's eyebrows furrow further, wondering where on earth Kitty was taking this. "I guess you're just gonna have to stick around to find out."
At this, Marley giggled brightly, nodding her head before pressing her lips against Kitty's soft ones. God knows how long they had both been dying to do that.
After moments of silence of just being together, Kitty decided to ask the question that had been bugging her ever since she had her talk with Toby.
"Can I ask you something?" The blonde mumbled as she nuzzled her forehead closer to Marley's.
"Anything." Marley replied immediately, nuzzling Kitty right back by nudging her nose with hers. Kitty thought about it for a moment before asking.
"Are you happy being in love with me?" She finally said and Marley pulled back in confusion.
"What do you-"
"I just spent hours with someone who through their life away from being in love but they were never happy...I just need to know that you're happy being in love with me." Kitty stated, almost sounding desperate to know. Marley smiled in understanding before placing her hands on the back of the blondes neck and looking directly into those deep hazel eyes she adored so greatly.
"It's better than that...I love being in love with you, Kitty Wilde." She spoke with such truth, such honesty that it brought the brightest of shine to the blondes eyes.
There was no talking after that, just love and contentment of finally being with one another. Both of them hadn't realised how much they truly missed the other until they were finally back in their presence.
The sound of Kitty's ringtone broke them out of their current lip-lock and the blonde regrettably pulled away to fish out her phone from the pocket of her jeans. When she read the caller ID to find that it was Toby calling, thoughts of hanging up quickly flew out of her mind as she pressed the answer button almost immediately.
"Hello?"
"Kitty...She's awake." A happy voice spoke over the phone causing Kitty to release a breath of unbelievable relief. Marley was smiling too, meaning she must have heard what he said which wasn't hard to believe since her face was still so close to Kitty's they might as well be kissing.
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly."
"Well um, is she alright?" Kitty asked hesitantly as Marley looked at her, those big blue eyes sparkling with a mix of happiness and concern.
"She's fine considering, so don't go and purposely get yourself beat up by some random guy again." Toby joked...Not realising Kitty's very worrisome girlfriend could hear every word he was saying.
"You did what?!"
"Um, I'll call you later Toby, should be there soon...If Marley doesn't kill me first."
"Kitty Wilde! You get back in this house right now and explain to me what the hell you described as 'coping'! Kitty!"
…
A/N: Sooo, this chapter is unbelievably late and I can't apologize enough. This is however the longest chapter I have EVER written so hopefully it makes up for it. My God it's long. I've just been so busy with mocks and Christmas and revision and stuff, I've hardly had any time to right. I will try my best to get the next chapter up quicker than this one but I don't wanna promise anything.
Please review, I love to hear what you guys think and thank you for your continued support on this. Bye for now :)