Quicker update, right? :X and the next chapter will follow soon, probably tomorrow, so if you found this short and an annoying build up (which it is *shot*) don't worry, Ch4 is coming.
This chapter title comes from "Faraway Vol.2" by Apocalyptica ft Linda Sunblad. In case you'd like a track or something to listen to while you read. I enjoy doing that myself ^.^
WARNING: boy/boy. Hints of twincest. (Only minutely more than the anime -.- (jk, sort of). I'msosorry. I literally can't resist an extra playful Ichiru.)
Disclaimer: Vampire Knight is not mine.
"Feelings have deserted me, to a point of no return."
x
Chapter 3: POINT OF NO RETURN
"Zero?"
Zero jumped against the door he'd just slammed shut. He'd completely forgotten about Ichiru. The forest scene with Kaname had temporarily pushed back concern for his twin.
"Ichiru, how are you feeling?"
Ichiru raised an eyebrow at Zero. "Fine. You should know that."
Zero fought back a scowl.
He wish he didn't. But he knew the Hunter Association had a weekly supply of pureblood blood that was set aside for Ichiru. It came from an "anonymous source." A vampire with a golden heart. Zero sneered at the thought. Furthermore, Cross refused to shed any light on the matter.
"Is it that damn Kaname?" Zero had demanded two years ago when the offer had first been made.
"I'm not telling, Kiryuu!" Cross sang, sticking his finger in his ears. "That's top secret information!"
Zero shook his head, bringing himself back the present. "But you weren't feeling well today."
"Anyone can have an off day." Ichiru gave Zero a once over. "What's wrong, Zero?"
Zero flushed, quickly collapsing onto his bed. He was still unnerved from the encounter with Kaname.
And thirsty.
"Zero," Ichiru murmured, and Zero felt cool fingers stroke down the back of his neck. "Your eyes."
Zero tensed and buried his face in the pillow; his insane desire was coming back, full power.
Ugh. No.
Ichiru smirked over his brother's rigid body. "You're not going to last, Zero."
"Shut up," Zero said quietly.
"Sit up and look at me."
"No!"
Ichiru ran a hand gently through Zero's hair. "Tell me what happened."
"It's nothing."
"Why'd you come in looking like you'd been interrupted halfway through a fuck?"
"Ichiru!" Zero sat up this time, mortified at his brother's frankness. "I was not!"
Ichiru's smirk widened, putting his hand back in his brother's hair, pulling his elder closer to his face. He closed his eyes against his brother's uncontrolled breath and whispered, "Was it Kaname?"
Zero grit his teeth. "I…"
Ichiru opened his eyes. "It was, then. What did he do to cause you to be so flustered?"
Zero glared.
Ichiru smiled, leaning forward until his head rested on Zero's shoulder. He said gently, "Sorry, Zero."
Zero's frustration dissipated and he quickly put a comforting hand over Ichiru's head. "It's okay. Just don't worry about me please; it's not worth it."
Ichiru pulled back and before Zero could protest, planted a quick, hard kiss on his cheek, centimeters away from his lips.
"God, you're not helping," Zero snapped, putting his face in his hands. It really was the worst time for Ichiru's teasing. He could feel his eyes burning even more at Ichiru's close proximity. He looked away, ashamed.
"Do you want my blood, Zero?" Ichiru asked.
"No!" Zero bit back a sob. "I don't want blood. I don't!"
Ichiru's playful look slowly faded. He took Zero by surprise when he slid beside him in the bed and hugged him.
"I know," he murmured.
"You should get away from me."
"I trust you."
That may be true; but Ichiru's trust, however endearing it was, mattered nothing.
Not if Zero didn't trust himself.
x
His sleep was almost always fitful.
x
"Kiryuu-kun, he's—"
"I know," Zero snapped, his violet eyes flashing angrily. He stood up stiffly, his fingers already curling into fists. "I don't want him here."
Kaien Cross fluttered his hands about his head, his eyes wide open and watery. "Ah, don't be like that!"
Zero brushed by the man coldly, his steps quick. He didn't have much time, he had to walk fast if he didn't want to run into him.
"Kiryuu!" Cross panted, grabbing at Zero's collar. Zero's knees buckled slightly as he was yanked back.
"Hey!" he snarled, his hand flying at Cross's arm like a striking viper.
He never made contact—another hand grabbed hold of his wrist, stopping it inches before it hit its target.
Zero's eyes widened as his eyes zoned in on the familiar pale skin.
Covered in blood.
You like it like that, you monster. Don't you? You wish it was covered in his blood.
Zero nearly fell on his butt with the force he used to yank himself out of both males' grips. Cross pouted, looking injured, and Kaname just looked at Zero calmly. Like always.
Always—
Zero's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"
Cross bounced nervously on the balls of his feet, glancing swiftly from Zero to Kaname, who were locked in their own world, staring each other down.
"I haven't been here in a couple months," Kaname said blandly.
Zero's face darkened. "I like it like that. Stay away."
Cross wagged his finger infuriatingly at Zero. "Kiryuu-kun, we go through the same scenario every time Kaname visits." He straightened perkily as Zero turned his glare on him. "I'll leave you two alone! Kaname," he glanced up at the pureblood who was gazing distantly at Zero's furious face. "I put the cloth over there." Cross nodded at a door in the back of the room.
Zero felt his heart jump and his blood burn furiously through his veins as the automatic thought of what that sentence implied, what it really meant—
NO.
He would not. He refused.
"Zero."
Zero's eyes flashed back into focus. Kaname was still watching him. A shadowy smirk flickered across the older vampire's face.
"I can see that you're thirsty, you know."
Horrified, Zero turned his face away, casting his eyes downward. His breathing was suddenly coming in gasps. When…when had that happened? He shakily reached up to brush his fingers over his eyes.
Zero's silvery bangs fluttered in a slight wind. He dared glance up, and saw that Kaname had moved past him and was walking towards the door Cross had indicated. He didn't look back at Zero as he opened it and walked in.
Zero stood there, frozen.
This had been going on for a year.
A year since that bastard had bitten him. A year of Zero fighting his blood thirst..
How could he? How could he continue to fight when Kuran came to see him nearly every month and baited him like that?
Zero remembered the first time the most. After all, it had been his first glimpse of what a manipulative bastard Kaname really was.
Cross stuck them in that fucking room. It was usually the place same every time. Cross modified it by placing a black cloth over a couch, where spilt blood couldn't be discerned.
A couch. That's all.
Kaname sat on the couch, not looking at Zero (who had literally been dragged into the room by Cross) for the first ten minutes or so. He just gazed thoughtfully at some spot on the wall, while Zero, newly born vampire a mere thirteen years of age, stood stiffly in front of his creator, imagining all the ways he could rip his head—
"Zero?"
Zero twitched when Kaname said his name. They'd never been quite so alone together. Not since—
Zero clutched his throbbing neck. He could still feel Kaname's fangs sinking into his skin, piercing his veins, poisoning him for life.
Zero stared at Kaname, refusing to answer him.
Kaname finally took his gaze off the wall and looked at Zero. His chin rested in his hands, and his eyes were still thoughtful.
"Have you felt the thirst yet?"
The question took Zero by slight surprise.
What kind of idiotic question was that? Of course he'd felt it by now. He felt it every hour of every day, every minute of every hour, every second of every minute.
Kaname was such a prick. He had to know that.
It was a constant want, a constant need.
A need Zero would never allow himself. His fingers curled into fists.
Kaname breathed out. It was a defined sound, as if he had just…
Just…
Zero's vision went red.
Kaname touched the cut he'd just made on his neck. He looked at Zero, who now stood inches away from him.
"Zero," he said quietly, his red eyes locked on the boy in front him. He dragged his hand down his neck, smearing the blood.
Zero was suddenly there; without realizing he'd even moved, he'd made it to his master's side in less than a second. As he straddled one of Kaname's thighs, one hand steadied himself on the couch behind Kaname, fingers curling into the black fabric. The other hand touched Kaname's neck almost reverently.
He leaned forward, his breath washing over the pureblood's neck. Kaname was oddly still, not moving a muscle.
Zero's lips were literally a hairsbreadth away when he felt Kaname's fingers in his hair and he came to himself.
"Ugh!" he yelled, shoving himself backwards and promptly falling on his butt. He groaned and hissed, curling into a little ball. "Argh!"
Kaname stood up, his voice calm, but his eyes glinting. "I don't understand why you're fighting it."
Zero's eyes were blazing red. Hunger. Thirst. Need. He'd never desired—needed—something so badly before in his whole life. That blood, that…it was so close. Why, indeed? Why was he fighting? He should…
His breathing hitched and he ground his teeth together, clutching his hair in his hands.
The desire started at his toes, a burning flame, making its way up to his mouth, his watering mouth. He wanted it.
He wanted it so badly.
x
Kaname let the curtain of his window fall back into place, leaning against the wall next to it.
He could feel Zero's pain and desire. His vampire hunter instincts constantly clashed with those of a vampire—what he had become, and what he was refusing to accept.
Kaname touched his mouth with a finger, remembering the look of Zero's bloody form that night.
"Don't touch me."
A sick smile broke across Kaname's lips. He remembered the horror that had filled his insides.
He remembered Zero, remembered his innocence. Remembered the random desire Zero had awoken in him.
He remembered the desire that overcame him that night. Desire for his blood—desire for his life.
I am loathe to admit to having feelings for him.
Zero drew Kaname in, in a way that not even Yuuki or she had done. His hair was so soft. His eyes—
I can't.
x
Zero stood outside the ballroom with Ichiru, the light from it bleeding into the hallway where their mother had told them to wait. The dumb party was over and nearly all the vampires had left. Their parents were doing last minute inspections, making sure all would be left well.
"Zero, is there a bathr—"
Zero pointed in the direction of the bathroom. "It's that way. Turn left and it's the first door on the left…I'd walk you there, but I have to stay in case mom and dad come around."
"It's okay," Ichiru said, squeezing Zero's arm. "I can walk to the bathroom by myself, silly." He smiled playfully at Zero, then headed down the hallway.
Zero watched him turn the corner, sighed, and leaned against the wall. The back of his neck tingled, and a vaguely familiar aura assaulted his senses.
"You seem quite attached."
Zero straightened, turning to face the vampire who had greeted his mother about halfway through the party, the vampire whose aura was so powerful, and familiar.
"You're a pureblood, aren't you?" Zero asked.
"Yes," Kaname said, his eyes roaming over the young boy's face. He noticed Zero had a look about him that was different from his brothers; more solemn, perhaps.
Zero tilted his head cutely, gazing at Kaname steadily. "You were near my house a month ago."
Kaname was startled. "You saw me near your house?"
Zero shook his head, glancing down the hall after Ichiru. "I felt you."
A small heat formed in Kaname's chest, and he was once again unnerved, for the second time that night. He did not very much like that a simple boy could ruffle him so.
He had no idea where the Kiryuu's lived. He thought back, remembering Kaien had tricked him into coming to see Yuuki that month. They'd stopped along the way.
"Impressive," Kaname murmured. He looked at Zero, who looked back at him. Zero abruptly blushed.
He is adorable. Kaname hid a smile with difficulty and leaned forward, his hand coming to rest gently on Zero's shoulder. "Train hard, then, Zero. Goodbye."
As he straightened, his fingers softly brushed the pale skin of the boy's neck, and Kaname could briefly feel the fast heart beats of the boy.
"Goodbye," Zero said as Kaname turned.
Why was someone completely random arousing his thirst in such a way that even Yuuki didn't? Kaname didn't understand, and it frustrated him. He walked away quickly.
Ichiru appeared at the corner down the hall just before Kaname disappeared from Zero's sight. Zero shrugged, rubbing his cheeks against his shoulders. He felt the blush fading, and shuffled his feet against the floor in embarrassment. Just… Kaname Kuran was beautiful, even by a vampire's standards, and complimenting Zero so suddenly had taken him aback.
"Was that the vampire that talked to mom?" Ichiru asked when he reached Zero's side, pointing in the direction Kaname had gone.
"Yes," Zero said, taking Ichiru's hand.
"I think he likes you," Ichiru said.
Zero looked sideways at Ichiru, his eyes widening marginally. "Why?"
Ichiru looked down the hall after Kaname. "The way he was looking at you earlier. You might as well have been the only one in the room."
x
Kaname closed his eyes. And he waited.
x
Zero's eyes snapped open. He didn't need a mirror. He knew they were burning red.
Ichiru's face was snuggled into Zero's neckline, and he was deeply asleep. Zero breathed in, then froze.
Ichiru's blood.
Damn…it smelled so...crap!
That's right. He had pureblood in him. Zero suppressed a shudder, turning and opening his mouth to brush his fangs across—
Stop!
Before he could lose the fight raging inside his own body, Zero leapt out of the covers and made a stumbling dash towards the door. His throat burned all the worse when he suddenly remembered Kaname's blood…all those times the vampire had spilt and offered it to him…just like that time—
No! Why? Why those memories? Now, of all times!
How long had he denied himself the sweet, addicting taste of blood? How many times had it been offered to him? How many times had he been tempted? Too many too count. Too much fighting, and Zero was so tired of it, but he needed to continue fighting…
The world around him was like a running painting. All colors blurred together, and they moved, but Zero…
The fresh air offered no relief, and Zero heard a snarl rip through the night.
Where could he get some relief? How he ached, how he craved…
The growl came again, louder, rumbling deep in Zero's chest.
"I know you're thirsty, Zero."
x
Ichiru sat down on his bed, watching as Zero angrily paced the room. "What are you thinking about, Zero?"
Zero hissed angrily, rounding on Ichiru. "None of your business!"
Ichiru gazed at him steadily for a moment, then looked down at the ground.
Zero immediately regretted lashing out at Ichiru. "No—I'm sorry. I just—I hate it when he comes. And now we have to live with that stupid girl who absolutely worships him; she has no idea what he's done—what he's done to…"
Ichiru looked up from the floor to watch as Zero struggled for words. "Turning you into a vampire, you mean?"
"No!" Zero yelled, quickly bringing his voice down so the people outside wouldn't hear, "I'm not a vampire. I will never, ever give in. I will never bite someone!"
Ichiru stood up and padded over to Zero, stopping only when their noses were brushing. Zero blinked. "Ichiru—?"
"You really think you won't give in?" Ichiru said softly.
Zero heart clenched at the tone Ichiru's voice had taken on.
More and more his twin seemed to get like this. Right after…that night…Ichiru had barely spoken. When he finally started having conversations with Zero again, he seemed back to his innocent self, the way he'd been years ago. But then it didn't take long for Zero to see that he was…different. His playfulness had an edge to it, his comments were aimed to hurt. And suddenly he would go back to total innocence, and Zero didn't know what to think anymore, and he refused to remember that night when he'd seen Ichiru—
"Ichiru..." Zero said hesitantly.
"Would you like to bite me?" Ichiru smiled, tilting his head so his neck was easy access for Zero.
Yes! Mm, not the best scent in the world but I'm so thirsty and it will do just—no!
Zero gasped and stumbled backwards, the back of his knees knocking into his bed. Ichiru leaned closer, turning to face Zero again. He reached up, touching Zero's lips with a finger. "Can I see, Zero?"
Zero shook his head furiously. "I d—nng!"
Ichiru took advantage of Zero's open mouth, touching his finger to Zero's canines, which were slightly more noticeable than a human's. It wasn't a problem—Zero never smiled, they would never been seen.
"Will they grow longer when you bite someone?"
Zero was shaking, fighting the desire to bite down on Ichiru's finger. It would just be a taste—
Ichiru looked up into Zero's eyes. "Your eyes are red. You're thirsty, aren't you?"
Zero made a noise of protest, trying to back away from Ichiru, but Ichiru grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stay near.
Ichiru leaned forward so his neck was a breath away from Zero's lips. "I don't mind, Zero," he said quietly.
Zero roughly shoved Ichiru away, and the younger brother hit the floor with a thud.
"Please, I can't," Zero whispered, curling in on himself. "I can't do it, Ichiru. I don't ever want to."
Ichiru looked up from the floor. As he watched Zero's trembling body, the corners of his lips twisted up into a wicked smile.
"But you will," he whispered. Zero, in his trembling haze of desire, didn't hear.
Or he just chose not to listen.
x
Zero's body thudded against the Moon Dorm's front door. He did not remember the journey here. Instinct was taking over in a terrifying manner. Here...
The door opened, and a woman looked down at him for a heartbeat before reaching down and grabbing his arm. Seiren, this was her scent. She had a faint scent of his master on her, and Zero opened his mouth, waiting to be given the blood he so needed, he so wanted…Kaname's scent was getting stronger.
A door closed behind them, and the scent was so much thicker in here, and Zero suddenly began to struggle. Against himself, against the bodyguard—to get away, or to get closer to the person waiting?
Her fingers were tight on his arm, and he could feel her blood pulsing through the cloth, beating against his skin—just one bi—
"Argh!"
He was shoved unceremoniously through a doorway, hitting the ground painfully, rolling on dark carpeting.
"Ah…"
Speaking was no longer an option. He could only make animalistic sounds, desperate moans and growls.
Thank God that Yuuki wasn't here to see him.
Yuuki.
The name jarred him violently back to almost clarity. Colors still ran, his throat still burned, but he was aware of himself…
And acutely aware of the other presence in the room. Seiren had long gone, and Zero now lay sprawled on the floor with Kaname Kuran standing by the window several feet in front of him.
Him.
Oh God, Zero thought dizzily as his body seemed to develop a mind of his own and drag itself forward, closer to the pureblood. Oh God, he smells…his blood. I can smell it from here.
Once he was close enough, Kaname bent down and grasped Zero's collar, dragging him upward.
"Isn't this enough, Zero?" he whispered.
Zero chuckled. The smile was borderline manic. A hint of the sane Level D he was, and a hint of what he was becoming.
His blood smells so…
Zero's opened his jaw wide and sank his fangs into Kaname's neck.
x
"You must realize, Zero," Kaname whispered into Zero's ear, "that one day you won't be able to fight anymore. All of your so called common sense will be lost to the desire. For my blood. Because that is what you will want for your entire life."
The silver haired youth trembled, fighting the burning thirst with all his strength. His neck was so close, oh God, he was doing this on purpose.
Kaname smiled and pulled back slowly. "I wait for that day Zero." He ran his fingers down Zero's pale neck and turned away, his eyes trailing over the dim room, the covered couch. "You should realize that the longer you wait, the worse it will be for you."
A/N: Oh-no-she-didn't just leave it at a cliffhanger like that. Ho.
(the "she" Kaname is referring to is that woman from his past we recently learned about in the manga. I just mentioned her to be a little canon. Sorry if my vampire fact stuff is un-canon. I don't really care. It's my AU world. O;))