A/N: I think I've found a perfect Kaname/Zero song. "End of Me" by Apocalyptica. It's the quote in the beginning and where I get the chapter title from.

"This love this love
Is gonna be the end of me."

x

Chapter 5: THIS LOVE

Zero woke the next morning feeling better than he'd felt in years. But when he understood why there was not a burning dryness in his throat, he flinched and sat up abruptly, his fingers curling into fists.

Beside him, Ichiru stirred, but his eyes remained closed, his breathing even. Zero passed a hand over his face wearily. At least it was Saturday. No classes to deal with. Surely Kaname would have let the Chairman know about…well, some of what happened last night. Zero's face burned in shame. Crap. Crap, how was he supposed to even have the will to get out of bed now?

There was a soft knock at his door. "Zero?"

Zero's eyes widened. Yuuki? What was she…?

Zero glanced at Ichiru, then quickly slipped off the bed, taking care not to jostle his brother. He then realized he was still wearing his blood stained shirt.

Damn it all!

He grabbed the robe Ichiru always wore after a shower that was draped over his empty bed and slipped it on over his clothes, quickly tying it shut. Taking a deep, quiet breath, he opened the door.

Yuuki stood outside his room dressed in a white skirt and a purple sweater, her hands clasped nervously at her front. A relieved smile broke out on her face when she saw Zero.

"Are you okay, Zero?" she whispered.

"I'm fine," Zero said shortly. Yuuki's smile faltered a little, but she reached out to gently touch his arm.

"Are you sure? I was worried, yesterday…"

"I know. I just had…I was feeling kinda sick. Sorry I made you do patrol by yourself. Did anyone bother you?"

"I'm fine, Zero," Yuuki said quickly. She glanced over Zero's shoulder. "I didn't wake Ichiru, did I?"

"No, he's still sleeping."

"Is he feeling better?"

"Yeah." Zero shifted a bit on his feet, his eyebrows creased as he gazed at Yuuki. Why…why did he have to be what he was…?

Kaname. It's Kaname's fault!

"Yuuki…"

"Ze—what?" Yuuki gasped as Zero pulled her against him in a sudden, tight hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Zero…"

"I…" He hugged her tighter and heard her gasp a little. "Yuuki…I'm sorry."

Yuuki struggled against his arms. "Zero, something is wrong…!"

Zero pulled back, holding her shoulders tightly in his hands. Yuuki stared at him, her eyes wide and shining.

Taking him by surprise, she reached out and gently placed her hand on his cheek. "You can tell me anything, Zero. Please…remember that. You can tell me anything!"

Zero closed his eyes. "I know you say that." He smiled at her a little brokenly. "Thank you…Yuuki."

Yuuki smiled uncertainly. "Zero, please. I can see something is wrong."

"Yuuki…I can't—"

"Kiryuu-kun! You're up!"

Zero grit his teeth and straightened to glare at the Chairman who was positively bouncing toward his room. Yuuki smiled sheepishly at her foster father. "Hello, Chairman."

The Chairman pat Yuuki on the head. "Daddy, you can call me daddy—"

"Can you shut up? You're going to wake the whole dorm," Zero snapped.

The Chairman pouted. He turned to Yuuki. "Will Yuuki please go check out a ruckus going on near the wall by the Moon Dorm? Some Day Class girls are—"

"I'm on it!" Yuuki said, punching her first into the air. She smiled at Zero. "I'll see you later, Zero!"

The Chairman watched her go, then turned to Zero, his face abruptly serious.

"Kiryuu-kun—"

"Shut up. I really don't want to hear it."

"I talked to Kaname."

"Shut up!"

The Chairman pressed his fingers together, making puppy eyes at Zero. "And here Kiryuu-kun is telling me to lower my voice."

"I don't want to hear anything that has to even do with the bastard!" Zero hissed.

The Chairman pursed his lips, looking childishly disappointed. He cocked his head at Zero. "You must feel better—"

BAM.

"Oww!" The Chairman covered his face with his hands from his position on the floor where Zero had knocked him.

"Please shut up. You're voice is annoying," Zero snarled, then backed into his room, slamming the door shut with a violent anger.

x

Ichiru told Zero he was feeling better, and he said he'd be going out to town with friends that day. He didn't invite Zero to come along—he knew that was one of the last things his brother wanted.

Zero lay sprawled out on his bed for who knew how long. Physically, he felt wonderful. Strong, powerful—in control.

Emotionally, he was an absolute wreck. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and he felt like seriously just killing himself to end this freaking misery.

But he couldn't leave Ichiru like that. And he couldn't leave Yuuki to deal with the pain she'd stupidly feel. And he couldn't leave Ka—

Zero's eyes snapped open.

Who?

Zero groaned.

I need some air.

Yes, that'd be good. Air…And he had to wash those clothes from last night. Yeah.

Something to fucking do. Rubbing his head, Zero grabbed both his and Ichiru's dirty clothes, swinging the laundry bag over his shoulder.

His denim clad legs made soft whooshing sounds as they brushed against each other. When Zero reached the laundry room, he was grateful to see there was no queue. Quietly, he separated the darks from the lights. He stuck in the light clothes first, wanting to get the blood off of that shirt as soon as possible. He might have to throw it out.

Ugh, whatever.

Shutting the laundry room door roughly behind him, Zero quickly made his way out of the boy's dorm, feeling an inkling of relief when outside air hit him. The sun felt good, and he was grateful that he still enjoyed that human aspect.

(they are creatures of the night)

Zero leisurely walked down the path towards the lake, ignoring the few Academy students he passed. He found a comfortable spot of grass and leaned against a tree, gazing out across the lake with troubled eyes.

Was…was Kaname right? Will it be impossible for me to ignore the thirst, now that I've tasted blood?

Zero touched his lips. He blushed again, remembering the events of the night before.

What the hell had that been, anyway?

It wasn't like…what the hell, he wasn't- gay. Kaname wasn't gay! He was the most un-gay person Zero had ever met!

He's also a vampire.

Zero's eyes widened as he thought.

That's right. Vampires don't care about gender or relation at all. Two siblings could get married and no one would blink an eye.

It's because they're animals. Just beasts in human form.

Yeah, and now you are too.

Zero slammed his head back against the tree trunk he was sitting by and closed his eyes. "Shit…"

It's not like…Zero hated gay people or anything like that at all. He'd just never thought of himself as one.

And it wasn't like this—Zero hated to call it a relationship—disgusting thing that he and Kaname had was normal.

It probably happened because of…this connection. That Kaname forced on them.

Zero put his elbow on his propped up knee, resting his face in a hand.

Shit. I really made an idiot of myself. That can never happen again. Never. How the frikkin' hell am I supposed to look at Kaname now?

Aah…

I hate him. I hate him…

x

"Zero."

Zero's eyes fluttered open, meeting wide, worried brown eyes.

"Yuuki?"

"Zero, why didn't you stay in your room and sleep? You could have…hurt yourself out here!"

Zero glanced around, then looked at Yuuki incredulously. "Hurt myself? I was sleeping."

Yuuki frowned at his flat tone. "Yeah! But you could have rolled into the lake and drowned."

"Assuming splashing into the water wouldn't have woken me up," Zero said, standing. He really didn't want to talk to her now.

Yuuki scowled. "Just go, you dummy. Go sleep in your proper bed."

"Whatever."

Yuuki frowned some more and turned. "Um, Zero—Ah! Kaname-senpai?"

Zero almost tripped over himself. He in fact plowed into Yuuki, who cried out and grunted, pushing Zero back into a standing position. "Are you okay? Ah, Kaname-senpai, how are you?" She was torn between making sure Zero wasn't about to fall over and bowing to Kaname.

"I'm fine, Yuuki," Zero snapped, pushing her off him.

Yuuki huffed, shooting him a look out of the corner of her eyes. She looked up at Kaname nervously. "Kaname-senpai, how—how are you?"

"I'm fine, Yuuki," Kaname said softly. He walked forward and gently touched the side of her face. Zero looked away, feeling inexplicably furious. "I just came here for some night air."

"Oh—oh then, we were just leaving!" Yuuki said, her eyes widening. She smiled at him nervously. "Goodnight, Kaname-senpai."

She quickly made her way past him. Zero followed stiffly, refusing to meet Kaname's gaze. He hesitated a split second, before disappearing into the trees after Yuuki.

x

He could hear how fast Yuuki's breath was coming as he followed her through the trees.

"Why do you like him so much?" Zero asked quietly before he could stop himself.

Yuuki stopped walking and Zero nearly plowed into her again. She fingered her skirt nervously, then looked back at Zero.

"He saved my life, Zero."

He took mine.

"I owe him everything…"

He owes me everything.

Yuuki squeezed her eyes shut, and Zero was alarmed to see she was suddenly crying. Damn! "But…he's so far away, Zero. I don't know how to get close to him. I don't think I can. He…he is part of a whole other world. One I'm not a part of." She opened her eyes, tears streaming down her face. "How can I even try to amount to him? He…he's beyond my reach. I…" Yuuki hugged herself. "I feel like I'm always reaching, but he's just always too far away. He—" Yuuki hung her head, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Zero. I didn't mean…" She laughed, brushing away her tears. "That was stupid. Let's go, huh?" She turned to continue walking, hiding her face from Zero.

He stared at her. How was it fair that someone as good as Yuuki was being pulled in by Kaname? He squeezed his eyes shut. Kaname obviously loved Yuuki. His eyes said that so clearly…Yuuki was just too blind to see.

Zero's gut clenched. His head swam dizzily.

His neck suddenly throbbed painfully, and he clutched it, surprised.

Why…?

"Yuuki…"

Zero's eyes widened. Kaname? His voice?

Zero shivered, putting a hand to his head. But Kaname's voice remained out of his head after that, and he wondered if he was out of his mind.

Really, that was the more likely scenario.

x

Zero blinked, his eyelashes making a soft thrumming sound as they brushed against his pillow case. He frowned against the cloth, wondering what had woken him this time.

"…bit me bother you?"'

What…what the hell was Kaname doing in his room?

"No. Can you leave before he wakes up?"

Ichiru's voice, whispering harshly.

The hell is going on? Zero inwardly grumbled, his stomach flipping. God, if only Kaname would listen to Ichiru.

Kaname unsurprisingly ignored Ichiru's request. "I wanted to talk to him."

"He's exhausted. Get out!"'

"When did he fall asleep?"

"I don't know. He was sleeping when I got here. Leave."'

"How was he coming back into the room last night?"

Silence. Zero's face was flaming in anger and mortification.

"Get the fuck out," Ichiru hissed.

Kaname chuckled. "Ichiru, this protective act is quite endearing."

"Act?"

"You can never live up to what Zero did, though. You realize that? Unless you died for him." Kaname laughed softly again. "I admit, I'd love to see that."

There was a dull slapping sound, and then heavy, furious breathing.

Zero sat up, ditching the sleeping act.

Ichiru was leaning in towards Kaname, his fist caught in Kaname's hand. Ichiru whirled around when he heard the rustle of blankets, but Kaname had already been looking at the hunter, and Zero had a feeling the pureblood had known the second he'd woken up.

"Zero!" Ichiru exclaimed, backing away from Kaname. "He knocked and just walked in. Zero, you need to sleep—"

Zero glared at Kaname. "What the hell are you playing at? You got what you wanted, didn't you?" He bared his teeth. "I bit you. Now leave me the hell alone. Leave Ichiru alone." Zero stood, grabbing Ichiru and yanking him back. "Stop harassing him."

Kaname looked at Ichiru over Zero's shoulder. "This is what genuine, sincere protection looks like."

Ichiru hissed behind Zero, who grit his teeth.

"Get out," Zero growled.

"Come with me."

Ichiru grabbed at Zero's arm. "Zero—"

Kaname looked calmly at Zero. "Zero, I need to talk to you."

Zero stared at him, then slowly pulled his arm out of Ichiru's grasp. "Ichiru, I'll be right back."

Ichiru glared at Kaname, who smirked, letting Zero walk ahead of him out to the room.

"Let's go outside," Kaname said quietly behind Zero.

Zero grunted in response. He led Kaname to a spot outside under the shade of some trees. He leaned against one and crossed his arms, looking at Kaname defiantly.

Kaname turned, looking into the trees, his eyes guarded. "It's about Yuuki."

That took Zero by surprise. His eyes widened a fraction. "Yuuki?"

Kaname looked back at Zero. "You must realize that I've been trusting you enough be close to her."

Zero tensed. He knew where this was headed.

"But you've finally succumbed. And she is going to be even more tempting than usual."

Zero snarled, "I'm not going to ever hurt Yuuki."

"You weren't ever going to bite me, either."

He might as well have slapped Zero. He clenched his hands into fists.

Kaname brushed his hair away from his eyes, and Zero was momentarily distracted by the way it fell, brushing softly against his pale cheeks.

Fuck.

"She does not belong to you, so I am warning you that you will have to control yourself around her."

That sentence felt like a dozen knives digging into Zero skin. He grabbed onto the one thing he could argue with. "Belong? Not everyone belongs to you, Kaname."

Kaname turned and before Zero knew it, a hand was under his chin, tilting his head up. Kaname's lips brushed against Zero's cheek, nearing his ear. "You really think so?"

Zero shivered, involuntarily. "G-get off."

He felt Kaname's lips curve into a smile. "Of course." He pulled back, waving his hand nonchalantly in farewell. "I'll see you later…"

x

Ichiru was lying in his bed when Zero returned to the room. He didn't say anything or turn, but Zero could tell he wasn't sleeping.

Zero looked at him for a moment, then slipped into his own bed without a word.

A/N: Kind of a filler chapter (I'll fix mistakes later, sorry! I just wanted to get this chapter up and out of my way) but the story will be picking up shortly. Hopefully. But uwah, Zero is so cute secretly wanting Kaname and being jealous n stuff x3.

Right. My plan for this story is so sketchy so I'm winging it a lot. I usually do that well enough, so if there are inconsistencies, bear with me- enjoy the ride. :)).