LLL- and we return.
Hidan- it's about time. I was growing tired of waiting.
LLL-I'm glad you missed me.
Hidan- fuck you, I want to answer more questions about ME!
Tobi- Hi-chan, don't be so rude to the author.
Hidan- Fuck her, it's not like she owns Naruto or the Akatsuki.
LLL- *sigh* you've got a point
Deidara: Finally! We are not staying in a shabby cave.
Pein: That's because we don't have time to find a decent hideout. Zetsu spotted Hidden Tree Shinobi in the area.
Deidara: Hidden Tree?
Pein: Yes, it's a small village hidden in the damn trees.
Hidan: ooo that sounds cool!
Sasori: why are you so easily entertained?
Hidan: why are you such a dick?
Sasori: What the hell is that.
Hidan:
Hidan: Nevermind.
Kakuzu: *sigh* Pein, how were you able to even afford a hot spring like this?
Pein: The owner gave us an all expense paid stay...
Tobi: Well wasn't that nice of him!
Deidara jumps from his spot. "Last one to the springs is a piece of shit!"
Pein grabs the back of Deidara's cloak. "If you all value your lives I suggest you keep your clothes on whenever you're within 20 feet of Konan."
Hidan chuckles. "Are you going to assist her to her spring, bossman?"
"Yes. If you have a death wish, go ahead and try to peak."
Konan leans on Pein. "Just so we're clear. If I catch you peaking, I will be the one to kill you."
"Tch, but Pein gets free service."
Kakuzu hits Hidan over the head and starts dragging him. "Just shut up before she rips you to shreds. I don't feel like putting you back together."
"You're the one who did it last time."
They are through the door. Itachi and Kisame follow behind them. Sasori shrugs his shoulders and heads out. Tobi jumps up and hits a sprint. "You're going to be a piece of shit Dei-chan."
"Wait... what! Get back here you masked freak!" Deidara chases after him. The group remove their clothes in a changing room down the hall that connects to the hot spring.
Kakuzu sinks into the water with a deep sigh. "It is nice to finally have a break."
"A break! HA!" Hidan screams from across the room. "It's not like you do anything! All you do is collect money!" He is laying on his back on the stone ground inside of a Jashin symbol made of his blood with a spear through his chest.
"Being your partner is the most exhausting job anyone could ever get."
"Eh," Sasori intrudes, "It wasn't a walk in the park but he isn't worse then Deidara." Sasori sits on the edge of the naturally heated water with his feet floating. "I don't understand the relaxation in this."
"That's because you have no sense of feeling. It's a shame. This is nice." Kakuzu tells him.
"I feel bad for you," Hidan says, yanking the spear from his chest. "You can't feel the honoring pain that Jashin allows us."
"I think I can live without such... pleasure."
Itachi and Kisame are across from Sasori, lounging in the water as if the other's aren't there. Deidara slowly walks up to the pool from the changing room.
"Look like the shit is you," Kisame jeers with his eyes closed.
"Shut up fishboy! Tobi isn't here!"
"Quit picking with him, Kisame." Itachi mumbles.
"Yes mom."
Deidara puts one toe in the water and pulls back. Sasori raises an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"
"I..it's hot."
Sasori fights to hold back a laugh. "Just get in. It's not bad."
"You can't even feel it!"
"How can someone who is so fond of explosions, WHICH involve fire, be afraid of a little hot water," the blue man teases.
"Kisame," Itachi warns for the second time.
"I'm not afraid!"
"Can you put on a shirt?" Kakuzu sighs. "That thing on your chest is disturbing."
"You have four fucking faces on your back! If I have to put on a shirt, you have to go hide in a hole."
"Well can you at least sew up the mouth on your face too-blubblubblubblub..." Itachi pushes Kisame's head under the steaming water. When Kisame comes back up he is staring at the water curiously. "What is it?"
"There's something down there."
Everyone gets to their feet, standing next to their partner and stare at the water. "Did you see what it was?" Kakuzu asks.
"No, it's too dark."
"Damn, and I left my exploding clay in the changing room."
Sasori places a hand on Deidara's shoulder. "I think that's alright."
"Ok," Kisame breaths, ready for excitement. "I'm going in."
"Why can't Itachi just use his stupid visual prowess." Deidara pouts.
"For the thirteenth time, I don't have the byuakugan!"
Just as Kisame is about to dive in the water a huge splash sends water from the pool. When the steam settles, Tobi stands in he middle. "Haha! I sure got you guys!"
"Tobi you piece of shit!"
"No die-chan, you're the shit, remember!"
"I'm going to kill him!"
Sasori has a good grip on Deidara's wrist, not letting him go into the water. "Hey Tobi, you're supposed to take your clothes off in a spring..."
"Oh really?" Tobi scratches his head. "Oops."
"Lemme at him!"
"If you insist."
Sasori releases him and Diedara splashes into the water. Immediately he leaps up with red skin. "HOT!"
"hahaha!" Tobi doubles into the water with laughter.
Deidara overcomes the slight stinging and goes after Tobi. "What the hell are you laughin-blublubblub." "Get back h-blublubblubblub..." "What are you trying to hide under that-blubblubblub..." The two wrestle in the water until Deidara takes them both under. There is silence as the group watches. A full minute passes.
"Uhm, should we go in and get them?" Hidan asks, scratching his head.
Tobi hops out of the water laughing and then Diedara. "Give me back my towel!"
"Gotta catch me first Dei-chan!"
"Shit."
"Is the water more comfortable for you now?" Sasori asks, sitting back down.
"Yeah." Deidara sighs.
"Here," the puppet master tosses his partner a towel.
Deidara's eyes lighten. "Thanks."
Kisame: but seriously... what does Tobi hide under that mask?
Sasori: I don't know. I've always wondered that myself
Itachi: I asked Pein once...
Kisame: And...?
Itachi: *chuckles* he threatened to kill me...
Hidan: So basically you got nothing.
Deidara: I say we catch him by surprise and rip the mask off.
Hidan: I'm in!
Kakuzu: Fuck both of you
Hidan and Deidara leap next to one another with grand smiles. "So we ambush him when he is back in the changing room." Hidan grins.
"Yeah! And we rip the mask off and view his face!"
"And then we stab him with a spear and sacrifice him to Jashin!"
"Yeah!... wait what?"
Hidan grabs Deidara's arm. "Cmon lets go!" And the two are off.
"Wow," Kisame laughs. "Those two would make perfect partners."
"Yeah," Kakuzu nods, "If Deidara learns how to sew. A lot."
Sasori shrugs with a sigh. "Nah, I don't think they would mesh very well."
"Why do you say that? Gonna miss your little artist?" Kisame sings.
In the changing room there is a mini explosion and Hidan's screams echo through the hot spring.
"No. They're both idiots."
Another crash is heard, followed by Tobi's laugh.
Kisame: What do you think he's hiding?
Kakuzu: Probably just an ugly mug.
Itachi: I think we should just respect his privacy.
Kakuzu: So now you're the gentleman who respects privacy and manages to invade minds at will against others will.
Itachi: Your point...?
Kakuzu: Oh nothing. Just bringing it up since we're on the topic of respecting privacy.
Sasori: I've always wanted to hear your baggage Kakuzu. You're so quiet and reserved. I've never seen you explode on anyone but Hidan. Go on. Speak you mind. I wanna here this.
Kakuzu: Look who's talkin. I don't recall you spouting out your feelings...
Sasori: This isn't about me.
Kakuzu: It is now.
Itachi: Wait... you guys. It's a bit quiet don't you think?
Everyone becomes silent themselves and realizes Itachi's statement. There is no longer any noise coming from the changing room. As they are looking towards the door, the two step through it. They are completely dazed and naked...
"Hey... what's wrong with you guys?" Sasori asks, standing.
They don't reply and the silence becomes eerie. Then, they both fall to the floor, unconscious. Sasori runs to Deidara's aid in a heartbeat. Kakuzu is also out of the pool next to Hidan as well. Kisame and Itachi have run to the edge as well. Sasori shakes his partner, narrowing his eyes.
"This isn't right. They are unresponsive, but their eyes are open. It's like their conscious but passed out."
"That doesn't make any sense." Kakuzu mumbles.
Itachi floats back to his spot. "The idiots probably knocked each other out."
Sasori feels Deidara twitch and his right eyes blinks... Only the right eye. He knows that Deidara has been working to perfect his right eyes to see the through genjutsu. Sasori places his hand on Deidara's chest and pumps chakra into him. "Release!"
Deidara gasps for air and sits up sharply.
"What?" Kakuzu groans. He does the same to Hidan. "Release!"
Deidara looks at Itachi and bursts at him with all of the chakra in his body, aiming to kill. A wall of water splashes up, protecting Itachi.
"What's your problem now?" Itachi sighs.
"Don't act dumb. You put us under a genjutsu."
Itachi wears a confused yet annoyed expression. "What...?"
"Yeah," Hidan yells, ready to draw blood. "I'm sick of your shit, Uchiha."
"Wait a second, morons," Sasori calms, hopping in the water and wrapping a towel around Deidara's waist. "Are you saying Itachi put you two in a genjutsu?"
"Damn right we are!"
Itachi raises an eyebrow. "No I didn't."
"It wouldn't be the first time you've put us in a genjutsu without realizing it."
"Well yeah... but..."
"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan yells.
Kakuzu puts a hand over the Jashinist's mouth. "Do you want to be put under another genjutsu?
"There's no way Itachi could have done that." Kisame defends angrily. "He's been here talking with us the entire time and there's no way he could have done it without being aware. Right Itachi?"
"I would assume so, but if they were put under a genjutsu then we should assume that we aren't alone in this spring after all."
"I would believe that," Deidara hisses, "If you weren't the last Uchiha."
"He's not. His brother still lives," Sasori points out.
"So you're insisting that your brother is here right now." Hidan questions.
"That... couldn't..." Itachi looks off to the side, memories invading him.
"Hey," Kakuzu calls, getting Hidan's attention. "Where the hell is Tobi."
"Oh, right. I was in the genjutsu so long that I forgot about him."
"Long?" Itachi questions. "How long were you in?"
"You should know!" Deidara cries. "Two days! Three days tops."
"What the hell?" Sasori jumps. "Dei, you've only been gone for..."
"I know! But I've been taking hits for 2 days."
"It... couldn't have been Sasuke. Only the Mangekyo can do that. He doesn't have it... yet." Itachi says, in deep thought.
"So it was you! I'll make sure to... to..." Deidara falls unconscious and Sasori catches him before he hits the water.
"His chakra is completely sapped."
"Yeah, we're weak." Hidan groans, sitting down.
Itachi stands up. "I don't know what's going on but I'm going to find out. No one hurts you guys but me."
LLL- Well that is it for now.
Hidan- Questions!
Kakuzu- Calm your tits.
Hidan- Never!
LLL- Uhm, OK, so question one. This is for Pein, What do you and Konan do when you're alone. From, Israel Pena.
Pein- *blushes* Well, technically we're never alone...
Deidara- Lies! You two are always alone. You send us off on missions all at one time.
Pein- Well... Shut the hell up Deidara!
Deidara- *baby voice* someone's embawassed...
Pein- Almighty Push!
Deidara- *flies out of room*
Konan- *sigh* We sit around and watch netflix.
Kakuzu- What! You're in the wrong time!
Itachi- Netflix? What is that?
Pein- Well it this really cool thing where...
Kakuzu- DONT TELL HIM! We shouldn't even know what that is.
Kisame- Oh lighten up. I'm sure it's not bad.
Sasori- Morons... Next question. It's for Kakuzu, why do you like money so much? From Loner72
Kakuzu- Tch, why do you wake up in the morning. Why do you breath fucking oxygen? Money is the only thing that keeps the nations operating. It's the only way people can eat. It's the ruler of life that people overlook
Hidan- And this is why you're such a clueless bitch! Jashin is the decider of life and death! Your priorities are fucked.
Kakuzu- Says the person who barrows money from me every chance he gets
Hidan- Jashin is all I need to live
Kakuzu- Oh really?
Hidan- Yeah.
Kakuzu- Yeah?
Hidan- Yeah
Kakuzu- Wanna cookie?
Hidan- YEAH!
Kakuzu- Ask Jashin ya little fuck.
Kisame- ooooo that hurt. I could feel that from here, Hidan
Sasori- wooo, I smell burnt Jashinist
Kakuzu- Money rules all
LLL- Well, I guess thats all for now. Review ^_^