A/N: We are starting to get somewhere.

Re-upload with some edits. Some of the stuff blew. Like Zero wants Kaname to-

Zero: Oi.
Kaname: Mm. Zero, don't stop.
Zero: You don't tell me what to do.
Kaname: Yes I do. The poll has confirmed that I am seme.

Today's quote is from Apocalyptica's "Not Strong Enough" another perfect song. Chapter title is the title of another Apocalyptica song, from which I get the fic's title.

"In your presence my heart knows no shame

I'm not to blame

'Cause you bring my heart to its knees."

X

Chapter 8: ANYTHING BUT LOVE

Zero shut the door behind him, his eyes cutting across the room to watch as Kaname stared out of the window. His pale fingers gripped his arm tightly. Zero had never seen the pureblood look so agitated.

"You know who did this?" Zero asked roughly.

Kaname's grip tightened. "It's of no concern to you."

Zero narrowed his eyes. "Don't tell me that, Kaname." He took a step forward. "Yuuki is my business."

Kaname's fingers dug into the dark material of his shirt even more. "She is not, Zero."

Zero was near him in seconds, slamming him against the window. The glass rattled loudly. Zero leaned in close, his eyes blazing. "She is. You're going to get her back—and I am coming with you."

Kaname glared at him, then roughly ripped Zero's hands off him. He'd never been so—well, so upset. Not like this. Kaname was always in control, he was always calm, always had an air of pleasantry about him, whether it was mocking or not. But now—now he seemed like a stick of dynamite, just seconds from erupting.

From the road outside town, after Kaname had told Zero that Yuuki was missing, the pureblood had walked back at an inhuman pace towards the Academy, seeming not to care whether Zero followed or not. He did follow, obviously. Zero was minutes behind him, only so far lagging because he'd been frozen in numb shock at Kaname's words. Kaname had ignored his questions, let's find her, let's go after them – who took her? Kaname ignored him. He walked with a purpose that chilled Zero's blood, as if he were sure they could not catch up with Yuuki right now, even if they cried.

Zero was so behind he only caught up as Kaname was leaving Cross' living quarters, telling him what was going on, presumably.

He followed Kaname up to his room. The silence stretched on for what felt like hours. Zero needed answers.

"How do you know she's gone?"

Kaname yanked open a drawer, nearly pulling it right out of the desk. "I knew you were thirsty tonight. I was under the impression she had her own reasons for going into town after you—it wouldn't be the first time. When she got hurt—I made my way over. Slowly. You were in town. I trusted you to take care of her."

Zero let the sting sink in for a moment. Kaname then continued as he rifled through the desk drawer. "She found you. And you bit her." Kaname chuckled dryly. "I caught you running back as I was running forward."

"And why didn't you leave me alone?" Zero snapped, angry at the entire situation.

"I should have," Kaname said, his voice equally angry. "But I can't seem to leave you alone, can I? That seems to be our problem."

Zero's fists clenched. "You should have felt—"

"I was kissing you," Kaname said flatly. He drew his hand out of the drawer, fingers wrapped tightly around a small cardboard box. "And I was distracted. You distracted me from Yuuki."

Zero's cheek flushed hotly. "What do you want, an apology?" He had to make a conscious effort not to slam his fist into Kaname's face.

Kaname brought the box up to his lips, flicked it open with a finger, and downed the entirety of its contents.

Blood tablets.

Zero grimaced, looking out the window. "I'm coming with you."

Kaname threw the empty box onto his desk, swallowing who knew how many pills in one gulp. He didn't spare Zero a glance as he grabbed a dark trench coat hanging from the coat hanger by the door. Zero almost missed him murmur, "Then follow me."

Zero turned off the lights behind him before he shut the door. He could see doors in the hallways closing as members of the Night Class hurriedly stepped back into their rooms. Kaname's aura was foreboding. Zero stared at the back of the vampire's head, partially numb to it.

Guilt, first and foremost, assaulted him. If he hadn't run away like a coward—Yuuki would not have been kidnapped. And to top it off, Yuuki was probably very hurt right now—emotionally and physically. He had betrayed her, bitten her, run away, and then someone—whose identity Kaname seemed content keeping to himself—had taken her.

He was bursting with unasked questions. Who was doing this, and why? What did Kaname know—and he always knew something—and why wasn't he telling Zero?

Zero paused in his slew of questions, thinking to himself that Kaname didn't have to tell Zero anything. It's not like…

Well, he does owe me, actually Zero thought, glaring at the back of Kaname's head.

"Where are we going?" Zero asked once the Moon Dorm's front door had shut behind them. He thought this was a more reasonable question out of all the ones swirling through his head, one that Kaname would be most likely to answer.

"To find her," Kaname answered shortly.

Zero bit his tongue. What a smartass. But arguing would literally do them more harm than good—Zero wanted to find Yuuki, and to do that more efficiently, he was going to have to put up with the guy in front of him.

"Do you think they hurt her?" Zero said.

"She is already hurt," Kaname said.

Zero glared at the car already pulled up at the end of the drive way. He had no idea how Kaname had already conjured this up, but he was not surprised.

He opened the door and waited for Zero to step in before him. Zero threw himself into the car. The door shut with a snap behind Kaname and the driver took off without a word.

"Why didn't we chase after her?"

"Stop asking me questions. I won't answer."

"When will you answer?!"

"Another question?" Kaname said, looking almost bored.

Zero roughly pushed Kaname against the inside of the car door. The driver didn't even slow down. Zero had a faint suspicion that he was under strict orders to drive no matter what.

"Whether you like it or not, Kaname, Yuuki is important to me. And I know she is important to you too. So will you please do both of us a favor and forget the secrecy? Tell me what you know."

"That," Kaname said, suddenly sounding tired, "Would take years."

Zero's hand relaxed as his eyes took in Kaname's face. His eyes…

"You really love her," Zero whispered. He didn't understand why the words seemed to hurt so much. He pulled his hand back.

"You really thought I didn't?" Kaname said, turning to look out the window. Zero chewed on the inside of his lip restlessly, opting not to answer and choosing to look out of his own window. Kaname spoke again though. "You were so blinded by your hatred of me that you didn't even think that it was possible I could really love someone."

Zero's fingers tightened on his leg and let the silence continue, sparing Kaname a quick glance, but the pureblood was looking out his own window. This silence continued for the rest of the trip, which lasted about an hour. They pulled up in front a small, but very posh looking house on the outskirts of the city they'd just driven through.

Kaname was moving to get out of the car when Zero spoke. "Why shouldn't I hate you?"

The door clicking open was loud in the silence that followed the question. Kaname answered quicker than Zero had expected him to.

"I saved your life."

Zero followed him out of the car, shutting the door behind him. They stood very close, so Zero didn't need to say his next words loudly.

"You condemned it."

x

"Where are we?" Zero asked shortly when the front door shut behind them.

"More questions?"

Zero glared at Kaname. "Are you really going to do this?"

"I'm going to bed."

Zero nearly exploded. "What?! But—we need to find Yuuki! How can you sleep—?"

Kaname turned around. His eyes glowed dangerously. "Don't go there, Zero. Don't even come close to suggesting that I don't care for her. For Yuuki. She—" he stopped abruptly, as though he was cutting himself off. Zero stared at him.

"I'm going to bed," Kaname said again. "And I suggest you do, too. Because it'll be the last time you get the chance until we find her."

x

Kaname was not going to sleep.

The glass he was drinking out of shattered and he slammed his fist into the wall in frustration. This boy, this boy was going to be his downfall!

He could not believe Yuuki had been taken out from right under his nose. All because he'd felt Zero's distress, he'd seen it, nearly tasted it, and while everything logical was telling him to rip the boy apart for biting her, everything else was telling him to hold him, to—

The snarl that came out of his mouth sounded like a sound an injured, threatened animal would make.

And that was what he was, essentially. A cornered animal.

It had to be him, but he didn't know why Rido was doing this. He wanted her for her blood—but then, why hadn't—he would know if she'd been—

He hadn't bitten her yet. But why? What was he waiting for? He had her, didn't he? The thought drove Kaname out of his mind, but it was the truth. What was he waiting for?

The window behind him cracked and Kaname's eyes glowed brighter. This was exactly what Rido wanted. Kaname, unable to think.

And taking Yuuki and doing nothing permanently detrimental—it didn't make sense. And it left Kaname, him, unfocused and out of control. Confused. The word alone made him sick, didn't sound right. He was never confused. Or fooled. Kaname wondered if Rido had expected taking Yuuki to be so easy. He thought again of Zero. Rido didn't know the extent to which Kaname cared about the ex-human. Did he know now?

His nails dug painfully into the skin of his palm. Rido had assumed, as Kaname had, that Zero would have been with Yuuki. And he probably knew Zero had been hungry, and would be weak, and would run.

This had been planned with inside information. Kaname's eyes burned. That little—

His cell phone vibrated. He had it out and ready before the first ring ended. "Yes."

"Kaname, it's me."

Kaname turned to look out the cracked window. He'd grown up close to this house. With Takuma and Ichiou. "What is it?"

"I was talking to Touga," Kaien Cross said quietly, his voice serious. "Trying to get information, as to where—where she could be." He paused to take a breath, and Kaname allowed him the moment, even though it killed him to do so. Cross was upset by her disappearance too, and was surely blaming himself just as much as the rest of them. He had delivered the letter, after all. "He told me that there have been some hunters…who might be responsible."

Kaname's eyes narrowed. "Hunters?"

He heard Cross inhale. "Not to say that it isn't connected to him. But the people who actually took her—hunters, following his orders."

"What exactly did Touga tell you?" Kaname said quietly.

"That he's heard them talking at the Association. Just talk—but the talk floating around is…a rebellion against purebloods." He paused again, as if in apology. "You know how some people are. They want kill you all off. I imagine they're just getting started, and he is the perfect way to get their feet wet. So they're using Rido, and he in turn is—"

Kaname cut him off. "I understand. Thank you."

He hung up. Not surprising. A stupid group of hunters thought they could take on the most powerful of vampires. What better way to go than to ally with one, and then turn on him in the end? It was classic hunter. And Rido wasn't stupid. He was using them as much as he was being used. And he would come out on top.

But this made things easier. Now, instead of one man, he had several people to go after.

Kaname slipped his phone back into his pocket, pulling curtains closed over the window. The sun was just beginning to rise.

x

Zero was not going to sleep. There were too many things that prevented him from doing so. He wasn't used to sleeping during the day. Napping in classes was completely different.

And even though he had been up all night, he had never been more awake. His stomach was constantly twisting. He felt so thrown into the events, so clueless. Rolling over onto his side, Zero squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Surely Kaname couldn't be sleeping either. No—he was probably thinking, planning, figuring out how to get Yuuki back.

Zero sat up, pushing against the mattress with his feet so his back could lean against the wooden headboard.

He gazed around the room. It was a little on the small side but still very nice. The carpet was a dark red color, and all the furniture in the room was made of dark, shining mahogany. A small wardrobe stood for a closet in the far corner of the room, empty of anything. Zero and Kaname hadn't packed, hadn't discussed anything. They had just left.

The carpet was soft against Zero's bare feet. With an impatient tug, he slipped off his tie, dropping it on the dark pile that was his Day Class jacket. He walked over to the door that led out of his room, opening it silently. Directly opposite his own dark door was an identical one that led to Kaname's room. Zero stared at it for a moment, then, shutting his door silently behind him, walked down the short hallway that led to the one room that was practically the rest of the house. He looked around, taking in the impressive dining room table, the plush velvet couch, a single bookcase, and the doors that led to the house's one bathroom and tiny kitchen. There also only one window in the room, a giant thing, right next to the front door. There were curtains to match the couch hanging tightly over the window, blocking the sunlight that was struggling to stream though.

Zero abruptly strode across the room, reaching out to roughly shove apart the curtains. The sunlight was blinding, stabbing into his eyes like hot, burning daggers. Yuuki. She was out there somewhere. He gasped raggedly, pressing his forehead against the warm glass, letting the pain wash over him.

"Does that hurt?"

Zero's shoulder jerked in surprise. He looked over his shoulder. Kaname stood out of the sun's light, his figure indiscernible and shadowy in the small hall that led to both of their rooms.

Zero turned back around, closing his eyes against the sun.

"Since you were human before, the sun isn't nearly as uncomfortable for you as it is for the rest of us. But, I think, that human part will fade too, with time and blood."

Zero kept his eyes shut. "Why don't you go back to bed?"

He heard the soft footfall of the pureblood, and he turned around again. Kaname had stepped into edge of the sun's light. Zero inwardly cursed himself for not even noticing that Kaname had left the room. He was seriously out of it. He had to shape up if he was going to be any use at all.

The sunrays were barely touching Kaname, and yet, his figure still seemed to glow. It was—

Zero jerked the curtains shut, simultaneously cutting off the light and his train of thought. His eyes accustomed too quickly to the dimness of the room. He turned around fully, the curtains brushing his back lightly. Kaname leaned against the dining table, his arms crossed, his eyes trained on Zero.

"You left Ichiru without a second thought," Kaname said out of the blue.

Zero's glanced at the doorway leading back to the bedrooms. "Don't talk about him."

He thought he saw the pureblood smirk. "Fine. I won't. But you're going to have to, eventually."

Zero couldn't help himself. He took the bait. "Why do you hate him so much?"

Kaname straightened, his hand brushing over the high back of one of the dining chairs. "That is a good question."

Zero walked forward so he was level with the dark couch. The expanse of the room was between them but they were still too close for his comfort.

"It was a group of hunters that took Yuuki," Kaname said. The distraction worked.

"Hunters?" Zero paused. That would explain the letter. The job he'd been sent on.

"In collaboration with someone I'm acquainted with," Kaname said in a low voice.

"Acquainted with?"

Kaname made a soft noise. Zero couldn't tell if it was a sigh or a laugh. "His name is Rido."

Zero bit down on the inside of his cheek, staring at Kaname silently. When he said nothing else, Zero snapped, "I don't know who that is."

"Well," Kaname said, and the sudden sound of his extended nails gouging marks into the immaculate table set Zero on edge. "I suppose you'll find out soon enough."

Zero hesitated, then walked purposefully forward so he was standing directly in front of Kaname. He stared at him for a second; he seemed to have calmed down since they'd last spoken, but Zero wondered how much of it was real. "Where are we going next?"

Kaname straightened and gazed down at Zero. He was only a few centimeters taller, but the height difference was just one other thing Zero could resent. Before Kaname could answer, words spewed out of Zero's mouth like vomit, gross and digested. "I'm coming on this trip for Yuuki, Kaname. Being so close to you, being with you all the time—it's not what I want. You turned me into a vampire and I'm forced to live a life I don't want. I don't want you thinking for half a second that I want to be anywhere near you."

Kaname ducked his head, and Zero was further angered to see a smile touch Kaname's lips. "I was not under any delusions."

"Don't mess with me," Zero snarled.

Kaname lifted his eyes to meet Zero's. Zero stepped back involuntarily. Kaname's hand was on Zero's cheek, his palm cool, his skin soft. Zero gasped sharply, moving his head away, but Kaname's hand pushed back into Zero's hair, keeping his head still.

"I am a truly," Kaname said, his grip firm, but gentle. "Selfish creature. For I could not bear to see you die."

Zero's tongue felt like lead. "Let go of me," he finally managed.

"I know you aren't thirsty," Kaname said quietly, and his tone was very odd, as if he'd not only totally ignored Zero's command, but he hadn't even heard it. "You drank Yuuki's blood. But strange, how I still want you to drink from me." He looked at Zero, then. "Is that because I want to spare Yuuki, or because I want you?"

"Shut up, I don't care!" Zero hissed. He tried to jerk free, but Kaname's fingers tightened in his hair. Zero grimaced, feeling a few strands break.

"She's been kidnapped," Kaname said. His voice had dropped to a whisper. Zero froze. "And I should be filled with thoughts of her, going out of my mind with worry, with anger—and I am, but not as much as I should be. Would be. Were you not here. If I were not here with you."

"I'm just—" Zero started, but was cut off when Kaname abruptly pulled Zero to him in a tight embrace.

"What—back off!" He felt Kaname's breath flutter his hair and held back a shiver.

"I went there that night for her, you know," Kaname murmured. Zero's blood went cold. Was Kaname talking about that night…that night where everything changed.

"Why did you—"

Kaname abruptly let go of Zero and turned around, making his way back towards his room.

"Kaname—!" Zero grabbed Kaname's wrist and Kaname stopped, turning to glare at Zero.

So absorbed were they by each other, they didn't feel the presence of another person until there was a knock on the front door.