"Poor Jem," Dill said with digust. He had just read Jem's letter and I wish he hadn't. I told him not to, that it would only make him upset but he read it anyway. There was no hiding the pain in Dill's eyes and I felt heartbroken for him. Jem was always the brother that Dill never had and vice versa. I wrapped my arms around Dill's neck and kissed his cheek. It was all I knew how to do to make him feel better.

"I'll never know how you do it, Scout," Dill said, my arms still glued to him.

"Do what?"

"Live your life."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Of course I live my life! What else am I supposed to do? Live his life? Somebody else's life? If that's a joke, it's a bad one.

"Well, it ain't easy but I do it anyway," I say, only half-kidding.

"I mean it, Scout," he mumbled, untangling himself from me. Gee, I didn't think I would upset him this much with that comment. Seems I'm really good at saying all the wrong things these days.

"Don't be mad at me. It's bad enough I stuck my foot in my mouth last night with Atticus."

"I'm not mad at you."

"You act like it."

"I'm just mad because you're the most wonderful girl I know and your life is miserable."

"I never thought it was that miserable..."

"Think about it, Scout," Dill said, looking at me dead in the eyes. I was getting uneasy. "Your mother dies on you..."

"Hey, she couldn't help it!"

"...That whole Tom Robinson trial..."

"Atticus had to do what he had to do..."

"That trial almost cost your life!"

"Nothing happened to me though," I said getting up and walking over to meet his eyes. I was starting to get riled up and nothing good happens when I get that way. I take Dill's ugly face in my hands to make sure his eyes are still on me when I tell him what I'm about to say:

"I'm still here!"

"Thank God," he concluded with a kiss on my lips. I couldn't help but kiss his lips back. He pulls me into a hug while my arms reach for his neck again.

"It's getting hot in here," Dill said, letting me go.

"Well, it is summertime."

Dill began to unbutton his shirt and he had flung it off before I knew it. He still had a skinny stomach and small chest. There was nothing muscular about him and I found that attractive. Maybe it was the familiarity of his frame that was a comfort to me. Being the young woman I am slowly becoming, my body was nothing but change. I was still thin in the waist but my hips got a little wider and my breasts have definitely grown. I was ashamed and proud of them at the same time. They were a symbol of my new womanhood but they were bothersome and uncomfortable at times.

"I hope you don't mind," Dill said, laying down on my bed.

"Cal might if she were to walk in," I retort.

"She's out in the yard working," he then patted a spot next to him. "Come here and lay down."

"Dill," I really don't want to do this right now. This was my bedroom for goodness sake.

"Nothing's going to happen," Dill said. "Have I ever hurt you?"

"No."

"Well, I never will. Just come here, please?"

He did have a way of making things seem more comfortable. I climb into my bed and slither into his arm. He kissed my temple as soon as I took my place. I hope he realizes that this isn't going to make his body heat go away though. Mine was beginning to rise and I unbuttoned the first two on my dress. I contemplated undoing the third one but my cleavage was showing enough as it was. Dill was staring at me with a smile so wicked that it made me go stupid and finally unbuttoned number three. He kissed my temple again and I snuggled a little closer to him.

"Ahem!"

I never heard Cal enter the house...