Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
Chapter Seventeen: September 20th-October 15th
I watched in blank interest as news of Ueno Naraku's death scrolled slowly across the bottom of the television screen for the umpteenth time that day. It was slightly ridiculous; before news of Hakudoshi-san's arrest and his conviction of the bomb placed in the entryway of my building, nobody knew anything about the former head of the Kumo conglomerate. Yet the news of his death had, in just two short days, taken the world by storm.
Personally, I had already grown tired of the endless news reports. I'd always preferred my company to avoid this kind of sensationalistic media, and it now appeared that preference was sensible. It wasn't so much that work got any more difficult (after Kagome-chan got back from her extended sick leave, it actually improved monumentally) it was more that the stigma of being connected to this type of news story quickly grew annoying. I'd had more than enough of reporters shoving microphones and recorders in my face trying to insinuate that I'd been closely involved with Kumo, or even Naraku. One even tried accusing me of granting Hakudoshi-san the insurance policy he'd been originally after, though that rumor was sufficiently—violently—put to rest.
As a result, much of the past day I'd spent in the hospital visiting with Sango. She slept a lot as a result of the heavy doses of painkillers they had flowing into her IV continuously after her first surgery, but just being in her company was relaxing enough. Not to mention the nurses and doctors would nearly explode if they caught a news reporter trying to sneak their way in. I was more or less free to just sit and watch Sango as she rested, the only hindrance being the strange looks I often received from the hospital wait staff, who no doubt wondered why somebody like Tsujitani Miroku would spend so much time by the bedside of a young, unknown girl whose only possession was her name.
Sighing, I heaved myself to my feet and reached up to turn the TV off, forgetting that there was a remote to it on the same pad as the nurse-call button. Sango was in her second surgery currently, and I was left to wait around her room until they brought her back. It had taken some crafty insistence, but I was finally able to get the doctor to spill his guts on her entire condition. He didn't seem too willing to give up that kind of information to someone who wasn't family, but when the matter of her lack of medical insurance came up and I jumped in to claim the bills, he coughed up anything and everything I wanted to know.
Sango was scheduled for three surgeries: one to remove the shattered remnants of the bullet casing in her shoulder, the second (and the one she was undergoing right now) to repair torn ligaments and tendons, and the third to implant a new, artificial rotator cuff, as hers had been damaged irreparably. By the sound of things, her injury was every bit as bad as I had imagined it to be, something made even more disheartening when one takes into account that I was known to be melodramatic. This time, however, I hadn't exaggerated her condition, and her total recovery time was depressingly long. She'd already been scheduled for six months of physical therapy to rebuild the motion and strength in her shoulder, though it wasn't to start until she was released from the hospital. The problem was that date had yet to be verified.
Still, I was determined to wait it out with her, if only because her scattered and varied hours of sleep had left me unable to talk with her like I'd hoped. In a way, I supposed I should've been grateful for this, as I still had yet to put my finger on what exactly I wanted to say. Yet at the same time, it was frustrating; looking at her sleeping face, completely relaxed and unresponsive to the massive amounts of pain she should've been in and feeling like I already knew the answer. There were times when I could've sworn I could whisper it in her ear, then my mind would go blank, my mouth dry, and I'd get this peculiar stomach ache, like one of apprehension.
A sudden knocking at the door interrupted my thoughts and I jumped, immediately thinking they'd brought Sango back to her room after her surgery. Then I checked the clock and realized she wasn't due to be out for another half an hour, and the fact that a doctor would knock before entering a patient's room with said patient in tow was a little strange. I sat still for a moment, staring at the door in confusion. Who else would come to visit her? Kohaku-kun accompanied me more often than not, though currently he was sitting on my living room couch presumably playing video games or watching a movie.
Finally I cleared my throat and called out, "Come in." For some reason, it felt weird welcoming a potential stranger into a room that wasn't mine. The door opened and I was surprised as Hachi poked his head in.
"Miroku-sama!" he greeted jovially, though I didn't miss the teasing in his voice either. "How did I know I'd find you here?"
"Hachi," I responded in kind, standing from my seat and gesturing for him to sit in the vacant chair next to mine. "What are you doing here? It's still lunch hour, isn't it? Why aren't you getting something to eat?"
"Why aren't you?" he quipped, looking at me with an eerie amount of understanding.
I shrugged as we simultaneously lowered ourselves into our chairs. "Hospital food isn't very good." I'd intended the vague explanation to dismiss his question entirely, though I was also aware that he knew as well as I that I could've grabbed myself something to eat on the way over.
Even so, Hachi only chuckled to himself as he settled back into his chair, folding his overcoat on his lap. "Where's Mizushima-san?" he asked after a moment. "I'd thought she'd be in here if you were."
"She's still in surgery," I explained, glancing up at the clock quickly. "She should be out in about twenty minutes though."
Hachi nodded, following my gaze to the clock before letting his eye drift with an idle interest at the rest of Sango's hospital room.
"The doctor informed me that you're fronting all of her medical expenses," Hachi said after a moment. His words were strictly conversational, though I jumped guiltily at the hidden meaning.
"Well, yeah," I admitted lamely. "She doesn't have any money, Hachi. It's the least I can do."
He looked at me squarely, though his gaze was anything but accusatory. "The least you can do for what? This is the same girl who had a contract out on your life, yes?"
My guilt was immediately overtaken with anger. "She was never going to do it," I insisted hotly, "She told me that herself and I believe her."
Nodding, Hachi discovered a newfound interest in watching as he twiddled his thumbs. "You've also taken her younger brother under your wing." This time, he didn't disguise his pointed comments as an innocent inquiry.
"He's got nowhere else to go," I replied defensively. "And besides, I promised her I would take care of him in her place." Never mind the fact that promise had taken place when we both thought she'd be spending twenty-to-life in prison. For good measure, I added, "Sesshomaru-san personally insisted that I be the one to find him a good school anyway."
Again, Hachi nodded complacently, appearing to not want to cause me any anger, though my suspicious irritation was already set. It wasn't as though he was being argumentative; his questions were soaked in sincerity and that same weird sense of empathy. I suddenly got the feeling that he understood a lot more than he was letting on about my relationship with Sango, and even her brother, Kohaku-kun.
It made me a little paranoid, and I started wondering if there was anything wrong with what I was doing here. So what if I spent every bit of free time I had at Sango's bed side? So what if I'd spent more money on video games and movies in the past twelve hours than I'd spent on them in my entire life, trying to entertain Kohaku-kun while he stayed with me? What did it matter, anyway, that I spent my money on their insurance and entertainment? I had more than enough to last me ten lifetimes and I was making more every day. It was mine to spend how I wanted, right?
I was sinking further and further into my frustrated thoughts that when Sango's door suddenly swung open widely and two nurses and the doctor wheeled her bed back in, I gave a terrible start. Sango was still unconscious from anesthesia and her left shoulder was newly bandaged and strapped down carefully, to ensure she couldn't move it. Hachi and I watched silently as the two nurses hooked Sango's bed back to the wall mount and started attaching various tubes from the IV to her right wrist. The doctor mumbled various orders while rifling through the papers on his clipboard, prescribing dosages and telling them when to switch out the medicines in her IV. Turning to me, he folded his hands together, his clipboard turned towards him and supported between one of his hands and his arm.
"The surgery went very well," he informed me blandly. "Everything is right on track and she should be doing fine. We'll give her a couple days' rest, then schedule the third surgery."
I nodded. "Okay. Thank you."
The doctor nodded at me in return then, bidding one more order to the nurses and left. The nurses finished up their own tasks and started to take their leave, though one turned back to be on her way out.
"We'll be back in a couple hours to check on her vitals again," she said.
I gave another nod and the nurses left as well, swinging the door shut behind them. Hachi's gaze was boring a hole into the side of my face but I didn't let my eyes falter from Sango's sleeping form. She did appear to be looking better, though her blackened and cut eye from Naraku's blow still marred the right side of her face. The gash along her socket bone had actually required two or three stitches, and looking at them made me subconsciously run my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip, feeling the tug of my own stitches.
Finally, my gaze broke from Sango as I looked down at my right hand, still heavily bandaged but without its sling. It had been a little hard to adjust to the injury, if only because I was right-handed, and the fact that the gauze had been wrapped all the way up to my second knuckles prohibited too much movement. I'd finally been able to see what it actually looked like when they'd changed the bandages and was a little shocked to examine the extent of the damage. Seeing it for myself had had a weird effect on me; I was morbidly insistent that the scarring be left unrepaired, if only because it left me with some physical memento of all that'd I'd been through.
Sighing, I dropped my hand and returned my gaze to Sango, watching as her chest rose and fell steadily with deep, slumbering breaths evenly passing through slightly open lips. I could still feel Hachi's eyes watching me, though for some reason, his gaze wasn't as uncomfortable as I'd initially imagined it to be. It felt challenging somehow, though not unwelcome and I viewed it as a kind of game, a test to see if his creepily understanding observation would make me waver from Sango guiltily. I felt certain it wouldn't.
He was the first to break the silence, sliding comfortably back into our conversation from before. "You've invested a lot of yourself with this young girl and her brother, you know."
His words were far from reproving and I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess I have."
Checking the clock, Hachi sighed mildly and hefted himself to his feet. "Looks like my lunch is just about up. I should be on my way."
I winced as I cast my own glance at the clock. My lunch was nearing its end as well, though I didn't particularly feel like leaving with Sango still passed out from surgery.
Hachi read my thoughts and stalled me with a gestured hand as I made to rise from my chair. "Stay. I'll cover you."
My brow furrowed in confusion despite my gratefulness. I sank back into my chair and stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if there was a deeper meaning to his words than simply offering to cover my absence at work. Considering how much I'd missed recently, asking him to cover any more seemed like far too much. With another wave of his hand, Hachi answered my unasked question, though his solution was completely unexpected and blatantly surprising.
"I understand, Miroku-sama. People do these things for the ones they love."
Chuckling lightly at the no doubt comically dumbfounded look on my face, Hachi excused himself from the room and shut the door soundly behind him. I stared at Sango's sleeping face in overwhelming realization and slight foolishness. Of course that was it. I loved her. I was in love with her. Suddenly my fantasies of having her join me and her brother in my apartment after her check-out didn't seem so out of place and awkward anymore. The important thing that I had wanted to tell her for a few days now—this was it: I love you, Sango. It felt so natural and right to say it to myself that I almost wanted to shake her awake to tell her how I felt now.
Then the stupidity of not figuring it out sooner slapped me in the face and I sank back into my chair in embarrassment.
I was fairly certain I had never felt the emotion before, at least not romantically towards a woman, though this did little to console the stupidity away. Realizing this made me question myself and I began to wonder if I would even know what loving somebody felt like. And when did it even happen in the first place? Our initial interactions had been relatively hostile, and I tried to decide if it were even possible for me to fall in love with her while she still appeared to be very intent on killing me. The inconsistencies surrounding the whole situation were more than enough to cause me to seriously doubt, though this only caused a strange sensation to stab at my heart and conscience, like when one tries to convince themselves of a lie.
Was I in love with her? I still wasn't sure, but it was very possible. What was certain was that I had no intention of living without her.
Sango's third surgery was scheduled three days after her second, and the week after she was finally able to stay awake throughout most of the day, even sitting up in bed and eating real food instead of receiving nutrients via IV. Unsurprisingly, I was once again at her bedside, though this time I'd swung by my apartment after leaving work to pick up Kohaku-kun. It was his last weekend off before he started middle school at Edo Public, the same school attended by Kagome-chan's little brother Sota and Inuyasha's niece (Sesshomaru-san's daughter) Rin. I was sure the police chief had less than agreeable opinions about Kohaku-kun attending the same school, though he had charged me with finding a good place for education, and Edo Public was the best in the inner Tokyo area.
The three of us sat in Sango's hospital room, picking at the mountain of snack foods and drinks that Sango had ordered from the cafeteria. The TV was on and flickered monotonously in the background, though the attention it garnered was only fleeting as we focused on discussing Kohaku-kun's schooling and calming his nerves about the following Monday.
"I mean, I've never even been to school before. How will I know what to do or where to go?" Kohaku-kun picked through a box of chocolates nervously.
"I'm sure they'll show you around, right?" Sango looked to me for confirmation, as the last time she'd attended school had been the fifth grade.
I nodded, laughing once as Kohaku-kun finally popped a chocolate into his mouth and grimaced upon discovering the filling was rum-flavored. "Right," I agreed, "And it's not like you've never had schooling. You said yourself you've been homeschooled." He'd passed the required placement exam too, making sure he was equipped to start school in the proper grade.
Kohaku-kun nodded as well, spitting the half-chewed chocolate into a tissue and tossing it into the trash. "Yeah, I guess." He still sounded unenthusiastic.
"Hey," Sango said consolingly, reaching out with her uninjured arm and holding his wrist in a comforting manner. "It'll be alright. Kagome-chan's brother goes to the same school, remember? You already have a friend there."
Sota and Kohaku-kun had been introduced a few days ago when Kagome-chan brought her brother along to visit Sango. While the two girls had managed to form an amazing friendship in such a short amount of time, their younger brothers had also managed to get along rather well.
"Sota is in the grade below, though," Kohaku-kun said dejectedly. "Who knows how often I'll see him?"
"Well you're going to have to make new friends then," I cut in encouragingly. "Look for a girl named Rin; she's in your grade!"
Both Kohaku-kun's and Sango's brow furrowed as they looked at me, sniggering to myself at my private joke. Oh, I was sure Inuyasha and Sesshomaru-san would love this.
"Rin?" Kohaku-kun verified doubtfully.
"Yeah," I nodded, still sniggering, "Yamaguchi Rin."
At the mention of her last name, Sango's eyes widened angrily and she scowled at me, though I only grinned in return. It seemed she was just as enthusiastic about Kohaku-kun possibly interacting with Rin as Sesshomaru-san would be. I however, stood by my advice. I didn't know much about her other than her relatives, but Rin still could make a good friend.
Kohaku-kun nodded and dared to bite into another mystery chocolate. Deciding he liked this one much better, he gave another, more affirmative nod. "Okay. Maybe she'll be in my class."
"She will be," I confirmed, knowing I'd managed to get him into the B class, also attended by the kids of many of my upper middle class clients and colleagues. No doubt the daughter of the police chief would also be in attendance.
Sango and I talked him further into relaxing, and after a few short minutes, Kohaku-kun was his normal self again, cheerful and complacent. He excused himself after a moment, making a quick bathroom break. With nothing to distract us, our attention turned back to the TV, which currently displayed another news stream depicting the vague details of Ueno Naraku's death.
Her brow furrowing, Sango let out a heavy sigh as the announcer on screen rattled off the same information that had been given on every station for the past two weeks.
"I can't believe he's dead," she mumbled quietly, her tone indescribable.
I looked at her for a moment. "Aren't you glad? His death means it's really over, doesn't it?"
She was quiet for a minute, and I was unnerved by my inability to place the emotion etched into her face. "Yeah, I s'pose."
"Sango," I reached for her hand subconsciously, running my thumb over her soft skin and being mindful of her IV tubes and injection site. I was more certain now than I had been before that I loved her, and once again I was nearly overwhelmed with the desire to tell her, though an entirely new doubt silenced me once again. I had no idea if she loved me back. The insecurity of not knowing and the subsequent hesitancy over telling her how I felt was extremely uncomfortable, though I wasn't quite sure how to throw it yet. For now, I had to settle on being content to spend time with her.
Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes and she shut them instead of letting them fall, and again I wanted to console her with a kiss to the forehead or cheek, though I didn't dare move. Our relationship had turned decidedly platonic and I wasn't sure if kissing her would cross any barriers that I was unaware of.
I said her name again, causing her eyes to reluctantly open and turn towards me. Tears no longer fogged them, though the neutrality that had taken their place was disheartening.
"Maybe you shouldn't think about him," I offered lamely, reaching for the TV remote and searching her eyes for permission to turn it off. Though she didn't react in the affirmative, though she didn't give me any objection either and I quickly shut the TV off. Silence fell between us for a moment.
"Does Sesshomaru still want me to talk to Haku?" Sango finally asked, her voice no louder than a whisper.
I nodded. "Yeah. He's refusing to talk to anyone but you. Sesshomaru-san thinks you'll be able to convince him to accept the new bargain."
She gave her own nod, turning back to the TV even though it was now off. Again, I wasn't sure what was going through her mind and I squirmed uncomfortably in my ignorant state. I had no idea what I could say to offer any soothing advice or solace, and subconsciously I scrutinized her, searching for any hint that could clue me in on what I could say.
Sango spoke first. "You're right," she said astutely, her voice tinged with bitterness. "It's over."
Kohaku-kun returned then, and I was unable to figure out what caused her to be bitter over what had filled a great number of people—including myself—a significant amount of relief. Slowly our conversation picked up pace again, though there were times I swore I caught Sango forcing herself to remain a part of the discussion. Her depression was unexpected and I wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. If anything, it made me all the more earnest to be actively involved in her life, to ensure that I could at least try to make her happy.
It became my new goal to see her genuinely smile again.
I'd received the call I'd been waiting for on my way to the hospital. The doctor had finally released Sango, and I'd jumped at the offer to give her a ride. I left work early, too early for her check-out, though I had to make one last stop before I picked her up. The realtor was waiting on one last signature.
Despite my hopeful fantasies that Sango would come live with me after she was released from the hospital, the closer her check-out day came, the more I came to realize how unrealistic this hope was. I only had one other bedroom besides mine, and as presumptuous as it would've been to have her stay there, having her share the master suite with me was definitely crossing a line. So I did the next best thing I could think of: I found Sango and Kohaku-kun an apartment of their own, newly furnished and just the perfect distance between my place and my company. The deal had gone through just in time and I zipped over quickly to sign the lease, quickly running over the script I'd improvised to inform Sango of the surprise. Picking up Kohaku-kun from school later in the afternoon and simply driving him there would be sufficient enough for him.
Pulling haphazardly into the parking garage of the hospital, I dashed down the levels until I reached Sango's floor. They had her out next to the receptionist's desk, all disconnected from her IV and sporting a new sling for her shoulder, one that strapped her arm at a careful ninety degree angle and held it firm to her waist. She was sitting in a wheelchair, looking thoroughly annoyed and bored at once while the doctor handed her post-surgery and post-check-out instructions.
"Hey!" I greeted as I jogged up to them, looking from Sango to the doctor and back to Sango again. "Am I late?"
"Actually, you're just in time," the doctor informed me in the same bland voice he'd always used to address me. "We'll need your signature on some of these insurance forms, and here are her prescriptions she'll need. They're regimented, so make sure she gets them as soon as possible."
I nodded, flipping through each of the insurance papers and hastily scribbling my name where it was needed. I ignored Sango's questioning look as I did this—I'd also managed to keep quiet exactly who was funding her hospital stay. This was the first she'd heard of any expenses I'd be filling. Handing the forms back to the doctor, I gave Sango a slight wink.
"Are we good now?" I asked, patting my pockets down in search of my keys. I hardly ever drove my own car, and as such I was constantly misplacing my keys when I did drive. I found them in my back pocket. "Can we go?"
The doctor skimmed through the insurance forms, verifying each of my scribbled signatures before he nodded. "Yes." He addressed Sango, stepping aside slightly as the nurse pushed her wheelchair over to me. "We'll see you here in a week for a check-up and physical therapy."
Sango saluted him mockingly before slouching back in her wheelchair begrudgingly. I pushed her down the hallway, carefully steering around food carts and IV poles left waiting outside other patients' rooms.
"Are you excited to be out?" I asked her, picking up the pace once we reached clearer hallways. I wondered how she'd take it if I started running.
"Why are you paying my hospital bills?" she responded, her voice pointed and highly inquisitive.
"Oh, I'm sorry," I rebuffed coolly, "I thought I was being kind. If you have the money, by all means, pay me back."
She turned around in her seat, scowling at me before she slapped her free hand to the wheel of her chair, effectively stopping our progress and nearly pitching herself out of her seat. "Let me up," she demanded, "I don't need this stupid thing; I've hurt my shoulder, not my legs."
"I think they have you use it for the rest," I said, though I stepped back obediently as she took the helm of the wheelchair and shoved it out of the way. "They don't want to overexert yourself."
"Oh, please," she scoffed, finally cracking a defiant grin. "I've been bedridden for two-and-a-half weeks; my legs are itching for some exercise."
I didn't argue further, instead falling into step beside her as we made our way back to the parking garage. Curiously, she didn't press the issue of me paying her bills further, seeming to let the matter drop. I figured she'd silently agreed with my rebuff: she didn't have the money to cover them herself.
She remained silent all the way to the parking garage and climbed into the car obediently, not even making a fuss as independent women are wont to do when a man opens their door for them.
"Thank you for the ride," she finally said, after we were about a block away from the hospital.
I glanced at her quickly before returning my eyes to the road. "Anytime," I answered smoothly.
I could feel her watching me, and it took all of my willpower to remain focused on driving. Suddenly feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious, I wondered if she could tell the extra effort I'd put into my routine this morning. Maybe I'd put on a spray too much of cologne? Silence had fallen between us again, though this time is was markedly more uncomfortable than before as I stewed in awkwardness and insecurity. Fuck me, I was thinking like an inexperienced teenager again. I chalked it up to my solidifying feelings for her.
Gratefully, as I drove us further into the residential district, I caught a view of Sango's confused face as she watched tall-rising apartment complexes whip by through her window. I latched onto the opportunity for a distraction.
"Problem?" I inquired teasingly.
I saw her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. "No," she said slowly, and I could feel her eyes study me again. "Where are we going?"
It took everything I had to stop a triumphant grin from sneaking its way onto my face. "You'll see," I informed her vaguely.
Finally, I pulled off to the side of the road momentarily, stalling the car and turning to face Sango the best I could. She watched me warily, and I was certain she was aware that we hadn't yet reached our destination. I grinned at her briefly before casting an arm into the back seat, fishing around for something.
With an eyebrow cocked in suspicion at my searching hand, she cautiously hedged, "What are you doing?"
"Just a sec," I requested, using my right hand to hold up one finger the best I could. The bandaging wasn't as restricting as before, though the repair that the doctor and Hachi sworn by had been slightly exaggerated. My control over the hand was clumsy at best and a large portion of my palm had been rendered unfeeling.
I continued, flashing a grin as I felt my fingers curl around the object I'd been searching for, "We're almost there, but I need you to put this on first." I held up a bandana.
Sango stared at it, flummoxed. "Excuse me?"
"Here," I offered, ignoring her blank inquisitiveness. I gently pushed her to turn her back towards me, and, further ignoring her grunt of protest, tied the bandana around her eyes as a blindfold.
"What the hell is going on, Miroku?" she grumbled irritably, pushing her back into the seat and turning her head blindly towards me.
"Come on," I pleaded lightly. "Just play along, okay?"
She acquiesced, though not without a few more indignant grumbles as I pulled back onto the road. In a few short minutes, we'd reached our destination and I hastily found a place to park, trying to control my excitement. I grabbed her hand once, letting her know we'd stopped before I unbuckled my seatbelt and dashed around to the passenger side to help her out of the car.
"Come on," I repeated, taking her by the hand once more, "We're here."
Sango found more to complain about as I led her to the entrance of the complex, muttering something about my childishness and my uncaringness at how dangerous this was in her condition. I simply laughed it off and ushered her into the elevator.
With one hand on her back and the other on her uninjured shoulder, I led her down the hallway until we reached her apartment, the one I'd been in just a short forty minutes ago to finalize the paperwork. I gripped her waist lightly to get her to stop; delighting in the way she subconsciously bit her lower lip in consternation, I dug around in my pockets again to find the key I'd received.
Opening the door, I stepped in front of her to pull her inside, walking backwards until I deemed her in the perfect position to see the greatest amount of the apartment. I stood directly in front of her, blocking most of her view as I reached around and gently tugged the bandana off. She used her free hand to rub her eyes while I stepped out of the way.
There was a stagnant pause when she finally looked up, and I could tell she'd tensed visibly upon taking in the sight before her. I grinned victoriously, watching as she slowly and mechanically turned her head slightly to the left and right, as if struggling to take it all in. At last, she turned back to me, as if silently asking for permission to explore more of the apartment. I urged her forward, remaining behind as she walked in and out of the two bedrooms and bathrooms, even walking into several closets and the pantry.
She came back into the front room again, looking up at me with some measure of wonder. "Is this mine?" she asked, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.
"Yeah," I confirmed, my grin widening as her blush darkened and she glanced around at the furnishings in the front room. "Yours and Kohaku-kun's."
"Oh, Miroku," she breathed, turning away from me to return to the spot I first placed her in. "This is… This is just—this is way too nice…"
I laughed quietly, coming to stand next to her and daring to place my hand on her lower back, carefully (if somewhat reluctantly) being mindful of the new platonic turn our relationship had taken. "I'm glad you like it."
Giving a slight jump, Sango looked up at me, startled and suddenly worried. "What about rent?" she asked intently, "There's no way I can afford this!"
I held up a hand, effectively shushing her fret. "It's been taken care of," I answered vaguely, not particularly wanting to go into the details on the extra rent coming out of my account starting next week.
Her brow creased and she stared at me suspiciously for a moment before shaking her head and apparently dismissing the matter. We both admired the apartment for a moment longer, Sango taking the opportunity to re-explore some of the rooms and kitchen. I waited for her by the door, keeping an eye on the time as it slowly ticked closer to when I was due at Edo Public to pick Kohaku-kun up. His older sister's reaction at seeing their new home made me all the more eager to have him see it too. Sango met up with me after a few minutes, a strange look in her eye.
"Sango," I said bemusedly, "What's up—"
I was surprised as she walked straight into my chest, burying her face in my shirt and using her free arm to clutch a fistful of it around the back. Her affectionate display shocked me and for a moment, I stood unresponsive to her embrace before I snapped out of it and eagerly wrapped both my arms around her, carefully avoiding squeezing her left arm too much. Sango turned her head, resting her ear against my chest as I laid my cheek on the top of her head, making a mental note of how good her hair smelled despite being in the hospital for so long.
"Thank you," she muttered earnestly, her voice sounding both shaky and strong at once.
"I—" I paused, my stomach clenching as I stiffened discreetly. I'd almost said it—that I loved her. I was certain now, more certain than I had ever been of anything in my entire life. I loved Sango, I wanted her more than anything, and that terrified me.
"You're welcome," I finally replied lamely, bringing her as tightly in as I dared with her wounded shoulder pressed between us. I cursed myself for not having the guts to finish what I'd really wanted to say.
I had to go pick up Kohaku-kun after that, and my mind was a whirlwind of questions and uncertainties. I was just grateful that Sango had opted to stay behind, wanting to settle in as best she could and make her new apartment look as homey as possible for when her younger brother saw it, leaving me free to frown and curse randomly as I wrestled with my latest problem. If I was certain of it, why couldn't I say it? I could admit it to myself just fine—I was very much in love with her, though for some reason I choked when I'd gone to say it before. At this rate I wondered if I'd ever be able to tell her.
I shook this off, not wanting to picture a life where I never told her and was forced to watch as she slipped through my fingers. She had to be mine, and someday—preferably soon—she'd have to know that.
It had been almost a month since we'd infiltrated Kumo. Sango had progressed in physical therapy at an unexpected rate, and they'd already switched her out into a less-restrictive sling. My own bandages and been completely removed and I let my wounded hand scar unhindered, still intent on keeping it as a reminder. Both mine and Sango's stitches had been removed quite some time ago, and while her first couple sessions with Kikyo-san had gotten off to a rocky start, everything seemed to be finally progressing forward into normalcy. Or as normal as we could get. Adjusting completely into the life of a regular, law-abiding citizen was going to take some getting used to.
Sesshomaru-san had seen that Sango sat down with Hakudoshi-san, and remarkably, had somehow convinced him to take the bargain the chief placed before him, even though it pinned Sango's crimes on him. He seemed to be proud to take credit for her work, never minding the fact that it would cost him twenty-five-to-life without the chance of parole. While I wondered if Hakudoshi-san had finally legitimately cracked, everyone else seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as the case against him was at last allowed to progress.
Inuyasha had been assigned as the officer in charge of Sango while she was under probation, though his sessions usually insisted of him coming over, asking a few general questions, staying unnecessarily late and inviting himself over for dinner. As I was over for dinner at Sango's apartment nearly every night, I found myself hypocritically angry at the extra effort Inuyasha was putting her through.
And as for me, renewed pressures from the Board committee that I finally settle down and get married had done nothing to help my relationship with Sango, which depressingly, had not progressed any. I found myself wondering what our kisses before had meant, if they'd meant anything at all to Sango, though this only made the fact that I still hadn't managed to tell her how I felt all the more frustrating. I knew my fraternization with her would be forced to an early end if I didn't confess; the Board was itching to push me into a relationship that they deemed would be fruitful to the company and cease my interaction with this girl they labeled a nobody.
Despite the stress of this routine, Sango and I, and the rest, were able to take a few moments to relax and enjoy each other's company. It was the last weekend of variably good weather before the news stations predicted the winter storms to be settling in, and the four of us—Inuyasha, Kagome-chan, Sango, and I decided to take Sota, Kohaku-kun, and Rin-chan (who incidentally, got along fantastically with Kohaku-kun, much to her father's chagrin) to the park for one last picnic. After eating an incredibly prepared meal, courtesy of Kagome-chan, our group started to spread out: the kids ran out to play with a Frisbee Sota had packed, Inuyasha and Kagome-chan were content to lay out on the checkered picnic blanket and enjoy their moment alone, while Sango and I meandered through the park, watching as other children played and people walked their dogs.
I could tell that Sango had something on her mind again—she always seemed to be deep in thought nowadays, and I debated whether or not I dared asking what was the matter. Such a question was not always welcomed, I'd learned. We walked in silence for a bit, coming across an unoccupied bench and I followed Sango's lead as she sat down. She still made no effort at conversation and I instinctively didn't press for one, instead choosing to concentrate on keeping warm against the frigid October chill.
Tucking her scarf closer around her neck, Sango finally let out a heavy sigh. "What are you doing, Miroku?"
Her question caught me off-guard and I stared at her, too baffled to answer. What was I doing about what? Had I done something wrong? She didn't seem accusatory or demanding, though it pushed me into warily protecting myself nonetheless.
"Um…" I finally hedged lamely, "What?"
"What are you doing?" she repeated, more pointedly than before. "Why are you doing this?"
Her ill-defined questions began to irritate me and I retorted impatiently with one of my own. "Would you care to be more specific?"
She turned to me, swinging one leg over the bench so she could face me fully. Rattling off a list one by one she said, "The apartment, the rent, the medical bills. You pay for everything. You go out of your way to make sure you take me to my physical therapy appointments and my sessions with Kikyo-san, and you're there to take Kohaku to and from school."
I stared at her again, once again too perplexed to answer. Finally, I shrugged dismissively. "So? Can't I just be nice?"
"It's going beyond being nice," Sango complained, tossing her free hand into the air for emphasis. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's greatly appreciated, but everything you do, and how much time you spend with us … well, frankly it's getting a little weird."
My eyebrow cocked in amusement and I started laughing—I couldn't help it. All of my effort to be a part of her life, and I ended up creeping her out instead. It was so fucking perfect. I sardonically wondered if telling her I loved her at this point would help at all; it would certainly explain my behavior, though I might drive her away permanently. Sango didn't seem as amused as I was with my reaction, and she frowned while I unsuccessfully tried to tame my laughter.
"Sorry," I finally said when I had myself more or less under control again. "You just surprised me, was all. I'm sorry I've made you feel that way."
"Are you?" she demanded, immediately latching onto my less-than-apologetic apology. "Because you sure don't sound like it."
I nodded, holding my hands up submissively. "I am," I insisted unconvincingly. I could feel her frustration, and I sympathized with her, whether she knew it or not. For a month now I'd been dealing with the increasing urge of wanting to tell her how I felt, but then she'd say or do something that made me not want to change or hurry anything about our relationship and let nature take its course. Remembering the pressure from the Board, I knew that it was now or never.
Still, I paused for a moment longer, taking in one last moment to study her face; her nose and cheeks were slightly reddened from the cold, her eyes were watching me closely and defiantly, and every once in a while her breath would puff out visibly from her lips. This could quite possibly be the last time I got to be with her—if she rejected me I'd probably be invited over for significantly less dinners.
Slowly, I pulled my hands out from the warmth of my coat pockets and cupped her face, watching her eyes carefully for any sign on objection. She blinked rapidly a few times, the fluttering of her lashes reminding me of a similar technique employed by ruthless female flirters. I grinned impishly as I felt her face warm up beneath my touch and my grin widened upon seeing her own lips subconsciously twitch towards a smile.
"I love you," I said, immediately feeling a tremendous weight being lifted as I confessed. Suddenly saying it once didn't feel like nearly enough and I repeated myself emphatically, sweeping my thumbs across her flushed cheeks. "I love you."
She looked surprised, though something in her eyes told me she'd been suspicious of my feelings all along. The confirming hope I also saw in those golden brown pools, however, was something I only dreamed of. My fear of rejection dropped some as I methodically drew her face closer to mine. Just before we kissed, I paused, abruptly distracted by a new, heinously crazy idea.
"Miroku?" Sango whispered, sounding confused and slightly dejected.
I studied her intently, the impish grin returning to my face as I brushed my fingers playfully through her bangs. "Just a second," I responded mischievously, "I have an idea."
Unexpectedly she pulled away, apparently irritated at my abrupt change in mood. "What?" She didn't sound at all interested in what exactly my plan entailed.
Grabbing her free hand, I brought it to my lips and quickly kissed the back of it, hoping to regain her good graces. "Bear with me," I pleaded, "And come on, we have to hurry." I tugged her arm, bringing her effortlessly to her feet and leading her back down the path we'd taken on our walk.
"Miroku, what the hell?" Sango demanded from behind me. "Let me go!"
I shook my head, briefly casting a look back at her over my shoulder. "I can't. You're just going to have to trust me."
She huffed. "Like hell. Tell me where we're going at least."
Again, I shook my head, ignoring the questioning looks from Inuyasha and Kagome-chan as I led Sango passed them, heading for my waiting car.
"Miroku-sensei? Where are you going?" Kagome-chan was on her feet, curiously following after Sango and I, causing Inuyasha and the kids to pick up the pace behind her.
"We'll be back in a while," I answered vaguely. "You won't miss us, I promise."
"Hold on a second!" Sango dug her feet into the soft earth, forcing me to a stop for fear of tugging on her too hard and hurting her. "I'm not taking another step until you tell me what's going on in that twisted brain of yours!"
I looked at her, nonplussed, before promptly scooping her up into my arms, bridal-style. "Okay," I agreed, finding the courage to grin triumphantly under the death glare she now sent me. "That's fine by me."
"Ugh!" She struggled in my arms, though any effort to push herself away caused too much jostling and pain to her recovering shoulder. "Miroku! Put me down!"
"Oi, Miroku," Inuyasha was limping as fast as his still-braced leg could carry him. "I'd listen to her if I were you!"
"No, no," I insisted, gently wresting Sango into compliance as I buckled her into the passenger seat. "It'll all be okay, you'll see." I didn't offer any further answers and I ran around to the driver's side and hurriedly climbed in, hardly checking my blind spots before speeding towards a predetermined destination.
Sango glowered in the seat next to me, refusing to look at me and pursing her lips tightly. She was pouting, though I was still riding high on the spontaneity of my plan. Everything about her reaction after I told her I loved her spurred me forward, completely unafraid of my next move.
"You didn't let me say it back," she muttered unexpectedly, sinking further into her seat and still refusing to look at me as her blush deepened.
I nearly slammed on my brakes in the middle of the road at hearing her say this, and I fought to keep my voice level as I asked cautiously, "Pardon?"
She sighed, apparently frustrated at having to repeat herself. "You didn't let me say anything." I noted that she'd changed her statement slightly from before, as if trying to give the impression that her response was still unknown to me, though I knew better.
We'd reached our destination and I pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine, though I didn't move to get out of the car. I watched Sango's eyes widen considerably and her blush darken further as she took in exactly where I'd taken us.
"If you don't say it now," I informed her carefully, "I'm about to make the biggest fool out of myself."
Tearing her eyes away from the jeweler's window display, she looked at me, disbelieving and uncertain. "I-I…" she stammered, unable to form words.
I smiled, then upon hearing the familiar-sounding engine of Kagome-chan's car as she pulled up into the spot next to mine, hurriedly unbuckled myself and dashed over to help Sango out of the car before Kagome-chan and the rest could climb out of hers. I hadn't anticipated that they followed me. I was going to make enough of a public spectacle of myself inside the jeweler's; I didn't need my friends witnessing it first-hand too.
Pulling Sango into the store, I took a moment to mentally give thanks to a slow business day; only two other couples where in the store: one looking at a display of heart-shaped necklaces and the other discussing the price of a Rolex watch with a service rep. I lead Sango to the rings, before facing her resolutely and dropping to my knees, barely noticing the fact that Inuyasha, Kagome-chan, Kohaku-kun, Sota, and Rin-chan were all crowded by the door, watching me intently.
"Sango," I started, grabbing her free hand and holding firmly in both of my own, "I love you so damn much, and the thought of living my life without you scares the shit out of me." I heard a slight groan from Kagome-chan, though I figured blunt honesty was my best romantic option at this point. I continued, "So please, Sango, please don't make me live my life without you. I need you, I want you with every fiber of my being, I'm begging you; marry me."
Sango stared at me unblinkingly, her face redder than I could've possibly imagined. "U-um," she stuttered, glancing around at the clerks and customers, who as soon as I dropped to my knees forgot about their own business and watched me with high interest. "Y-you just barely told me you loved me, and now you expect me to marry you?"
I faltered for a bit before quickly regaining my confidence. "Yeah," I said, my eyes flicking momentarily to a female clerk who watched us affectionately, her hand pressed over her heart. "Yep. That was the plan, anyway."
Leaning down to whisper in my ear, Sango said, "But I haven't told you I love you back yet."
Her childlike quality caught me slightly off-guard and I laughed lightly. "There's still time to do that too, if you like."
She sighed, her breath tickling my ear before she stood back up, looking at me boldly as she declared, "I love you, too." Her chest sank a little as the girl looking at the necklace display giggled behind her hand at her bravado.
I kissed her hand again, encouraging her to ignore the girl. "Good. That's great. You have no idea how happy you've just made me. Now about the marriage thing…?"
"Oh, just say yes already, honey!" The female clerk who'd been watching us so fondly suddenly cut in, walking around her display of charm bracelets and bringing out half a dozen rings from behind their glass cases for Sango to browse through. "If you don't marry him, I will!"
I laughed again, and after a moment, Sango let out a shy laugh of her own. She tugged on my hands, and obediently I stood, enfolding her in my arms as she took her free arm back and wrapped it around my middle.
"Okay," I heard her whisper into my chest, then nuzzling her face into my shirt, she mumbled more assuredly, "I mean, yes. I love you, Miroku."
"I love you," I responded, a little louder to inform my audience that she'd indeed said yes.
I gave the thumbs-up to the female clerk, who winked at me knowingly and clapped her hands. I pulled her away from my chest slightly, just enough to tilt her chin up towards mine so I could finally kiss her. I heard more frantic clapping from where Kagome-chan stood, and I figured she'd gotten over her temporary disapproval of how I'd proposed and soon the entire jewelry store erupted in modest applause. I smirked to myself as I finally broke the kiss. I still had it, and looking down into Sango's earnest and half-lidded eyes, I knew that as long as she was mine, I would never lose it.