Hey! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/faved my story It means a lot! So here's chapter 3!
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They both just sat there in shock about what she had just admitted. Kensi's heart pounded in her chest, her stomach tightened in anxiousness shocked at her own revelation. She moved further to the end of the bed, scared of what Deeks' reply was going to be. But intact she needn't worry about his reply at all. Instead, he abruptly stood up and walked out of her bedroom and out of her apartment. As soon as she heard the click of the door she burst into hysterical sobs. Even though she didn't mean to tell him that way, she hoped that he would at least say something, anything. She clutched the duvet with both hands, tears pouring down her face, sobs escaping from her mouth. Not only did she just lose the man she loved, she lost her partner, and her best friend. Kensi sobbed until she had no more tears left, and had a throbbing headache from crying so much. She took a breath and tried to calm herself.
"Did you actually think he'd pull you into his arms and tell you he loved you too?" A voice in her head taunted.
"You actually thought that you'd be together and everything would be perfect? How pathetic." The voice carried on. She took in a sharp in take of breath. It was right. She was pathetic. She pulled herself together, putting up that wall she had oh so cleverly built up. She was now back to where she was years a go. No one could see her emotions, and she didn't let anyone see, or get even close enough to see her emotions either. She got out of bed and changed into her running clothes which consisted of Nike running shorts, a lime green t shirt and some Nike white running shoes. She didn't care if it was pouring outside; all she needed to do right then was to run. Run until she couldn't run any more. And with that Kensi sprinted out of her apartment, shoving her earphones in on the way and sprinting out of her apartment and into the still warm L.A rain.
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On the other side of town Deeks sat on a rusty old swing set in a soaking park whilst the rain pelted down around him. Deeks knew running out on Kensi was the worst possible thing he could have been right then, but he didn't know what else to do. He'd been trying to let her go for 2 years now. He had accepted she didn't feel the same way and tried to let her go, let her find some other man for the past two years – which hadn't worked. Deeks was so overwhelmed by this; he just couldn't believe that he had spent 2 years trying not to love her, when he should have been doing the exact opposite instead.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. What have I done?" Deeks' mind screamed at him.
"She had already been left by Jack and I promised myself I wouldn't be anything like him, yet I am. Running away like a coward." His mind shouted. He knew he should go back to her, but by now she would've put up all of her walls and would never forgive him for doing such a horrendous thing.
"I promised myself I wouldn't do the same thing as Jack, never run away from her. But here I am." His mind scolded. Deeks knew being 'overwhelmed' by what she had said would be no excuse for her. She would've already but back up her walls, now 10 times higher than the last ones it took 2 years for him to break down. He let out a breath as the rain continued to pour down around him, forming puddles in the drenched grass. Deeks knew he had to fix things, but yet he knew there was the tiniest chance ever he could. He made his decision and got up.
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It was gone 3am by the time Kensi got back from her run. She was drenched from head to toe, the bits of loose hair from her ponytail sticking to her face, and goose bumps covered her arms. Kensi wasn't feeling any better. She still had that ache in her heart, the scene of him leaving her still replaying in her mind. She exited the elevator, whilst fiddling with her armband, trying to get her key out of it. Whilst tugging on the fabric she wasn't watching where she was going and tripped over something just as she reached her door. She landed on her knees, with her hand supporting her on the floor in front of her. She turned around looking to see what had tripped her up. There sat Deeks who looked confused as to what had happened. Once she realized whom it was she quickly got up, and tried to shove the key in her door to get away from him.
"KENS! Wait, please!" Deeks pleaded loudly. Touching her shoulder, hoping to get her to turn around and face him. She flinched at the contact and carried on trying to open the door, failing because of how cold she was which was causing her hand to shake and not allow her to insert the key into the lock.
"Kens, please I'm so sorry I walked out, it was just too much all at once" Deeks tried to convince her. His face creased with worry because of how broken she looked.
"Please Kens, just listen!" Deeks said. Kensi snapped.
"ME LISTEN? WHERE WERE YOU DEEKS WHEN I NEEDED YOU TO LISTEN? HUH?" Kensi screamed at him, finally turning round.
"Kens I am so sorry, just let me expla-" Deeks began.
"No." She said quietly.
"I have had enough of you bull. I honestly can't do this anymore. I can't just be that girl you turn to when you don't have anyone else, I just can't be ok." She whispered, trying so hard not to let any tears fall.
"Kens…" Deeks voice broke when he realized how hurt she was.
"No. Ok. No. I'm so so tired of all this Deeks. I am never good enough am I?" Kensi asked brokenly, staring into his eyes, tears filling up her own.
"Of course you are Kens-" Deeks started to beg.
"I can't do this anymore." He was about to say something when Kensi finally opened the door, walking in and slamming it shut in his face. He leaned against the cream coloured door letting a deep breath out.
Damn he really screwed up this time.
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Thanks for reading everyone! So please review, they make me update much faster. Anyway please tell me what you thought and leave any suggestions as to what you would like to happen, anything along those lines.
Bye!
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