A full week passed and two petals fell from the white rose since Sapphire arrived; in that week, Sapphire never came out of her room for anything...except to check on her horse. That Werewolf inside of me...has tried to control me twice since her arrival, he's determined to destroy my chance. I...was the only one who can hear him. The only way my servants or Sapphire can hear the Werewolf is when he takes control of me. I know I shouldn't avoid Sapphire, but...I don't want to harm her either. I decided to walk down to her room and try again to invite her to dinner. I knocked on the door, almost expecting her to open the door.
"WHAT?" She screamed, I wasn't expecting a flare like that. I checked to see if the door was unlocked...and it was. I slowly opened the door, I didn't want her to lash out at me. Sapphire was just sitting on the bed, arms crossed and eyes very angered. "Oh, it's you." She said in disgust, "What do you want?" I took a deep breath and tried to speak.
"I came to invite you down for dinner. You...haven't come down for dinner once."
"I assumed since I was no longer a prisoner, I was free to make my own choices." Sapphire shot back as she stood up, her head held high and rigid like she was a few days earlier. It looks like she had found some hidden store of courage and she was having fewer fits about letting me know of her displeasure here.
"That's...true." I said, I could feel that Werewolf trying to make his way through. I couldn't let him, no matter how much we were fighting.
"Don't try to hide it!" She screamed, "I'm a horrible pain in your side, I'm your silver bullet...aren't I? If I'm so horrible, just let me go!"
"You wouldn't be a pain if you just did what you're told!" Oh no! NO! I fought him again, but he had another tight grip. I looked over at Sapphire; even though I couldn't see her face, I saw tears falling off her face and onto her cloak. I could see the glare that her blue eyes were giving me. "Don't give me that look!" I heard the Werewolf say.
"You can't control the looks my eyes give!" Sapphire shouted as she managed to push me out the room. I couldn't give up, I fought against the Werewolf as she tried to slam the door to her room in my face. She very nearly succeeded, but I caught it in time and wrenched it open again. I wasn't going to let him destroy my chance.
"Wait, please!" I begged, "Please...you won't eat with me even once. You won't even try to get to know me." That threw Sapphire off guard; the anger left and her eyes were filled with frustration.
"What do you want from someone like me?" She asked.
"A chance, that's...all I want." I finally answered. "I've...asked Lila to lie out a dress for you."
"No thank you." Sapphire shouted, "I rather wear this cloak than be forced into something I don't want to wear! You think I can be bought with dresses and finery? I have a lot more values than that! I'll not degrade myself that way, thank you very much!" She tried to slam the door in my face again, but I caught it again before it closed. I won't give up!
"Strange, you speak like a noble, live like a commoner, and yet...you can't be bribed. Who are you?"
"I can tell you what I'm not." She said, "I'm not someone who's going to be the victim here."
"I understand." I whispered, I turned and left. I heard the door shut and the lock clicked. I sighed in frustration, my claws raked down the wall and I dug them into my fur wanting to pull out it all out.
'Just give up, Sagittarius!' Shut up! I said to him in my mind. 'You know she's not going to come downstairs.'
"Knock it off!" I shouted; I rammed my head against another wall until I got a headache. I panted as I started leaping down the banisters back into the lobby. I burned off some of my anger and anxiousness by prowling around searching for Brimley. The man was almost impossible to find. As soon as I caught his scent, I followed it until I ran into him.
"Sire, looking for something?" He asked.
"Yes, you!" I answered, also catching my breath. "I've spoken with Sapphire; I think I've convinced her to join me for dinner. Can you be ready?"
"Of course, sire, anything in particular?"
"Brimley, I haven't eaten human food in a long time and the dining room hasn't been used in a long time either."
"I understand, sire." Brimley added, "We'll work something else. Anything else, sir?"
"Not unless you teach me to be a perfect gentleman in a few hours." I admitted, "I cannot afford to make a mistake, I especially don't want him making an entrance. Our futures could rest on whether or not I can make an intelligent conversation...and some advice. I've never courted women since..."
"I get it." He said, "that won't be an issue, just remember to be gentle with her and you will be fine. Ordinarily, I'd say simply be yourself. Women don't appreciate falsehood."
"Not when it comes to men." I whispered under my breath.
"However, this is not an ordinary situation." Brimley continued, "So in your case, I'd say be yourself, only better. No biting, no growling, and for her sake, sir, try to use a fork. In other words, show her what is under the fur. Show her who you truly are, not what the Werewolf wants to show her. That's the best advice I can give." I nodded my head and walked back up to my chambers, the Southwest wing, to dress up a bit.
I walked into the dining room and waited for Sapphire. I tugged at the cape I'd fastened around my neck, grimacing. I wanted to look at least presentable...if she came to dinner tonight, but it was rather difficult for me. Given my monster appearance, almost none of my old clothes fit this new frame. So I normally settled for nothing more than a tagged pair of pants that helped me feel at least semi-human. The blue cape was too small to successfully fit, it dug into my neck and was exceedingly uncomfortable, but I thought I could manage just for tonight. Perhaps it would even remind me to take small bites. Tonight, I had to be poised, polite, charming; everything that I was learning I wasn't, but I had to be...for her. I stood behind my chair, claws curing anxiously as I waited for her.
'She's not going to come!' Shut up! I don't need you to get in the way! 'Don't say I didn't warn you. She won't come, no matter how much you beg from her!' How do you know? You're not her! 'No I'm not, I'm you...remember that!' I've got you to remind me, no matter how much I hate you! I saw the door opening; Sapphire walked in. She was still wearing that black and white cloak; it was disappointing that I couldn't look at her face. We sat ourselves down at our chairs. My tails curled in mimic of my stomach, which I wasn't entirely sure, would be able to stand the food I was about to put into it.
"I...appreciate you joining me." I said.
"I assure you," Sapphire said, "it wasn't by my choosing." I bit my cheek until I tasted blood to stop the Werewolf from saying something sharp in response. To distract myself, I took a small sip of wine and shuddered inwardly at the unexpected bite and texture. I hadn't drunk at all since my transformation. Apparently, it had become an acquired taste yet again. Sapphire, on the other hand, picked up her goblet in a hidden hand and took a long pull. I stared in amazement at the amount she got down in one swallow. She set the glass down gently and grimaced. "A bit strong." She said as she coughed.
"Too much for you?" I asked.
"No," she answered, "maybe I just need it to deal with you."
"Oh yes, getting yourself stone drunk is fantastic way to deal with things." I heard coming out of my mouth. Oh no! Shut your mouth and stay out of this! Even though I couldn't see her mouth, I could sense she opened her mouth angrily to retort, but at that moment, the servants entered with two simmering bowls of cream soup. They placed them in front of us and I was suddenly faced with my second challenge in as many minutes: how to eat it. I couldn't bury my face in it and slurp it down like the Werewolf would do.
I reluctantly remembered how much was riding on this dinner going well, and picked up the large spoon Brimley had set by my dish. Sapphire daintily sipped at hers, avoiding my gaze. I glared at the spoon, unsure of how I would get it past my fangs. I lowered my head as I tried to put the spoon through my fangs. I kept my mouth close to the bowl so I wouldn't spill the soup all over the table. My first civilized meal in years, and here I was, almost eating it like an animal. I felt the spoon bent slightly under my grip.
"Why don't you...tell me about yourself?" I suggested, hoping the Werewolf won't break through again!
"What's to tell?" Sapphire asked, annoyed.
"There...must be something that you want to talk about." I answered.
"I'm not saying anything to a monster that tries to be nice to me," she said, "but keeps being so awfully rude and selfish!" Sapphire did have a valid point, how can she talk to someone who would be nice and kind one minute and become cold and selfish the next.
"I know," I added, "what's the point of talking if all you're going to get for an answer is a shout, a growl or a howl? But...I am trying." 'Sagittarius, you can't be serious!' Stay out of it!
"All right," Sapphire said, "what do you want to know?"
"Tell me about...your family." I thought that would've been a nice touch to talk about. It was silent for a few seconds before Sapphire spoke again.
"My father died when my mother was pregnant with me, I never knew about him. My mother had her life taken during a flu outbreak when I was twelve. I left my hometown to life with my uncle and his family."
"At least...you had them." I said, "You must've been happy...at least for a while."
"I wouldn't call it 'happiness'. I was at least comfortable for a while." She added, "What about you?"
"I had many luxuries, but happiness was not one I'd count among them." I admitted, "I had other things to worry about." My cousin, Adam, didn't know that my mother and I existed until his violent abusive father was killed. When his mother died a few years later, I promised her that I would take care of my little cousin. He was ten years younger than me...and he needed someone in his life that would love him like his mother would.
"Of course you did." I heard her scoff, now hearing that while I was thinking about my little cousin at the moment almost set me off.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"You accused me of behaving as a courtier, but your callousness gives you away. How can you claim to have more important things than happiness?"
"Because I look like this? As if you're so much better, you make such a huge deal about the life you've lost, but you said you were only comfortable with it. You're a creature of habit; you only want to go back to your life because it's what you're familiar with. Try living completely out of your comfort zone for a chance and then see what life is truly like."
"I'm living with you now," Sapphire shouted as she stood up and slammed her hidden hands on the table, "I'd say that's out of my comfort zone, wouldn't you, you freakish Werewolf?!" She stomped away, the door swinging closed behind her even as the servants brought in the entree. What have I done? 'What a selfish brat!' I don't need to hear you right now! Even the tantalizingly fresh meat that now rested on my plate couldn't distract my attention from the steady scraping of her retreating heels or from the mixed emotions that rolled in my chest at the fact that she'd chosen to address me as 'a freakish Werewolf'. I sensed Brimley keeping his distance from me, I wouldn't blame him. The last words that came out of my mouth came from the Werewolf's voice. I slowly turned and looked at the direction of where Brimley was standing.
"Is that you, sir?" He asked, I knew he was playing it safe.
"Yes." I answered. He came over and reached for my wineglass. "What have I done? I let myself get controlled by that Werewolf...all because of what she said. I let myself get vulnerable."
"Sire, it wasn't your fault!" Brimley pushed, but I knew the truth.
"Yes, it was...and still is!" I got up and left the dining hall.
I ran up the stairs, went into my chambers and slammed the door closed. 'So...you're saying it's your fault? No wonder so many of those royals or high class people didn't like you.'
"Shut up! Leave me alone!" I howled as I rammed my head against the wall. I started to destroy the walls. I was so angry and upset, hearing what Sapphire said...just sent me over the edge. How could she say that I could claim to have more important things than happiness? My little cousin was more important to me than my own life. Our relationship was destroyed by Kaeyln, if it wasn't for her, we would be torn apart and our lives wouldn't be so messed up. I heard the door open, I looked over and smelled Brimley's scent.
"Sire, are you okay?" he asked.
"Do I look...okay?" I asked, trying so hard not to let that Werewolf control me.
"You're bleeding from your head, sire." He said, "Let me bandage you."
"NO, stay away from me!"
"Sir, I understand that you don't want to harm anyone, but avoiding us isn't going to help our problem." I was so afraid, I didn't want anyone to come near me, but I knew Brimley was going to push the issue until he won. I decided not to fight him and let him bandage my head.
"I think I'm going to be sick." I admitted.
"I'm done, sir." Brimley said, "I wouldn't bash your head again. If you do, you may break your neck!"
"I'm better off dead! I've destroyed my cousin's life and now...I'm destroying Sapphire's life."
"Sire, do you know what will happen if you do die?" Brimley asked, I just looked at his invisible face, wherever it was. "You...will...crush your mother's heart! You...are all she has left. Adam will lose the only the male relative that he managed to love. He still needs you, whether he's close to you or not. You promised his mother that you would never turn your back on him. Do you really want to break that promise by leaving them all alone in this world?" I sighed because all my energy had been drained, but I knew Brimley had a good point. I'm not going to break my promise to my Aunt Lydia, Adam's mother. My father is already dead; my mother doesn't need another death after knowing that I'm under a curse that wasn't meant for me.
"No," I said. 'What? Sagittarius!' "I'm not going to break my promise, no matter how easy it is to break it."
"I know you won't, sire." Brimley said with encouragement. "Give yourself and the lady some time, this just as stressful for her as it is for you. Get some rest, sire. We'll try again tomorrow." I listened to Brimley's departing footsteps until I couldn't hear them anymore. Time wasn't on our side, but I knew Brimley had a point. Tomorrow's another day, but I got myself too worried to sleep. So, in an attempt to sooth my tense nerves, I decided to leave the castle.