An Infinity/ Forever
Song: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
Max
Think about someone you hate. Now think about what you'd do if they were killed - suddenly, abruptly - doing something normal, regular, like crossing the street or waving to a friend. Admit it - you'd regret hating them. You'd wish to go back in time, to apoligize, to re-live the days when you loved them. Imagine my feelings when I heard the words that I had long dreaded.
"Fang's dead, Max." Dylan's voice raked my ears like sandpaper. His arms were crossed, waiting for a nonemotional response.
"W-what?" My words shook.
The announcement was like a blow to my chest. It was drowning without water, strangulation with airways free. Air refused to flood my lungs. "How?"
Surprisingly, the hurt was new - like the day in which he left. Two years without him - with Dylan, instead - and still Fang dying was the worst thing that could happen to me. Pathetic, I know.
"He was...with Maya. She saw the attack coming, and ducked. He did, too. But it was too late. The bullet hit him in the heart."
I was silent after that. I felt angry, jealous, envious that Maya got to share his last moments. They had probably been making out or something. Somehow, I still believed that it didn't mean as much to him as us had. Tears welled in my eyes. My face smarted and burned. Cool saltwater tears snaked serpentine paths down my cheeks, twin rivers. Dylan reached out to touch my shoulder, and I turned around. He looked shocked. "Don't worry, Max. You have me now."
I snapped. Electricity and heated words flew from my lips.
"You can't say that, Dylan. You never meant as much to me as he did. And you never will. So just shut! UP!"
The words spat from my mouth stayed frozen in air. I fled, hair whipping around and sticking to the tears on my face. I ran to fetch the one memory of Fang that I hadn't trashed. My last gift - the ring he gave me on our birthday. I yanked my nightstand's drawer open, choked sobs shaking my body. My legs trembled uncontrollably. I collapsed on my bed. There it was: the gem in it sparkling sadly. I slipped it on my finger, the same finger that could've held an engagement ring, eventually. I'd like to believe that someday, if Fang was still here, that could've happened. I pressed my lips to the metal. I couldn't stop crying now.
Happiness isn't everything, Max.
I hadn't the will to fight it. Fang's life flashed before my eyes.
All the moments that he was beside me, falling in love with his best friend, myself finally feeling his heartbeat in my ears in Chad, before Angel went kablooey and the Flock split up. The moments in which his hands entangled in my hair as he kissed all my troubles away. Reality was hazy, a troubling mist which I couldn't hold in my hand. The lips that first kissed mine - gone. The beautiful, immensly powerful that had sheltered me and flown beside me for as long as I could remember - folded, never to taste the thrill flying again. Consistently my bones ached from the effort of crying for so long. Thankfully, no one bothered me. I curled my knees to my chin. I couldn't recall a moment where complete surrender was mine - I wanted the comforting stillness of death or sleep to cradle me. The problem with sleeping, though, is that you'll always wake up. You'll still have ot face the problem at hand and live with the sadness and hurt of this life. It was impossible this time. Blinking, wide-eyed, I realized that I had fallen asleep. Rays, colored spires of light, shimmered across the floor from the window. I blinked. Pair erupted in my heart again. Fang was gone, leave me the parting gift of an infinity to remember the empty space that he had once occupied. I should've said goodbye. I wouldn't ever be able to. I knew that I loved him, now. I should've never doubted it. Even death couldn't change that.
Fang? Hey, if you're there - I know kinda late - but: I love you.
I whispered it shallowly into the chilly silence. A voice that I knew all too well answered me.
"You too, Maximum Ride."
I spun around to face him, Fang. His black hair was flopped over one eye, his lanky body relaxed. I couldn't help it. I rushed forward and felt his arms wrap me into his chest.
"I thought we weren't talking." he said simply. I looked up and kissed him, hard. Electricity arced through my limbs and chest. All my rage, anguish, love, devotion - all if it whisked back into my heart. Fang held me to him even as we broke apart. Unbelieving, happy, confused, and relieved, I kissed Fang again on the mouth, sweetly and softly this time.
"You're - You're not dead?" I whimpered. Fang smiled, a classic Fang smile. One of those rare ones that lit up my world to see.
"No, Max. I'm sorry if Dylan was being stupid," his face hardened. "I don't know why he would hurt you like that."
That was probably the longest sentece I'd ever heard Fang say.
"- But I love you, Max. I always have, and I will -"
Our fingers entwined and his wings encased me.
"-forever."