Hi guys, I know I have left this story for just over 4 months but, to be honest, I had lost all faith in it. Now however I have done some more work on it and I've decided to give it another shot and at least try and round of what will probably be the 'Season 1' of the story.

Enjoy

Chapter 20:

Damage

Carl couldn't stop crying.

What the hell? He was 12 years old… He shouldn't be crying at little things like this. A little boy who was his friend had died yesterday and he was crying about seeing his Mom kiss someone?

But it was wrong, it was so wrong because Mom was Dad's wife… Carl was old enough to know that people would remarry after the death of their partner… But it had only been two weeks, nearly three. It was too soon, it's like Dad meant nothing.

Carl was curled up in the cubicle of one of the restroom stalls. He had been in there for half an hour and no-one had come looking, lately his mother or Carol had been keeping him within close grasp… Needless to say he found it annoying.

He looked around the stall which had become his new resting place, unlike the ones at school it was clean, no-one had written or graphitised it… It smelled clean, probably thanks to Carol, and the lock worked perfectly… Much unlike the toilets at his school.

He was still crying… He couldn't help it… He tried swallowing the gasping breaths but it only made it worse. He tried wiping his eyes until they hurt but they just bled more tears, he didn't want anyone to hug him, he was getting sick of people... They were either looking down on him, lying to him or treating him like a child, even Duane acted like he was much older than Carl when, in reality, he was only 8 months older.

Carl stood up shakily as he felt himself gain some control, if he was away for too long people would start to worry and come looking for him, he would probably get told off by his mother or even Shane. He had gotten scary lately… really scary.

Carl walked out of the cubicle and looked in the mirror. He didn't look too bad… His eyes were still very red but apart from that you couldn't really tell he had been crying…

Just as he thought the thought the door opened behind him, he spun around quickly at the noise as Sophia walked in.

"Hi Carl… Are you okay?" she asked examining his face, her expression became concerned as she looked into his eyes. He felt them begin to well up with tears again; he knew he had to get out of there before he started crying again.

"I'm fine." He said firmly pushing past her, she caught onto his arm and he spun around defensively.

"Carl…"

"Just let me go!" he all but yelled as he ran away, he regretted the action as soon as he had performed it but he couldn't cry again. He ran out of the bedroom, he collided with someone but he didn't pay attention to who it was as he sprinted into another room. He closed the door behind him as he began to weep again, as he looked up he realised he was in another office room, completely empty and void of people.

Carl began to cry again.

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The kid had barrelled into him at top speed and kept on going, Morgan had contemplated going after him but had decided against it once he realised the kid would probably be crying. He knew it was best for kids to cry some of the things out instead of talk them out.

"Morgan!" Paula's voice called out from behind him, Morgan spun around to see Paula walking towards him with a firm attitude.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"We need to talk." She stated, Morgan head exploded with questions but he kept a straight face.

"About what?"

"About that scouting trip, I don't wanna be the one to say it but we gotta stop thinking about Billy and Rosie. We need those supplies." She said strongly, Morgan was surprised at the strong woman who stood before him.

"Probably a good idea… I don't know if everyone's feeling up to it though. I mean we just lost people and I don't think anybody wants anyone else in danger now." Morgan said but Paula shook her head.

"No, trust me people just need to get their minds off it. I was dead for a week after Tom and Freya died and I was no good to nobody, we need to start getting back into the routine before we fall apart, can't let something like this get in the way if we are gonna survive." She said, Morgan was surprised by her almost cutthroat attitude, gone was the frail woman who was demolished by the loss of her family, Paula was becoming a soldier.

"Paula…" Morgan tried to reason but stopped short of finishing when he realised she was right, they had to start doing things or it was gonna be like Jenny all over again.

"Yes Morgan?" she asked as Morgan looked her in the eye.

"You're right, we should get whoever we can find who will go with us, one question though."

"Yes?"

"Why'd you come to me? You'd be better off talking to Shane or Lam about this." he asked, Paula looked around before talking in a quieter voice.

"Way I see it Morgan, you're one of my best allies."

"Allies?"

"Mhmm. Way I see it we all got allies in this group, I may have Lori and Shane but Lori's so wrapped up in her family and Shane won't listen to me, but you… you listen Morgan, because you're that kind of person. I need people like you to help me." She stated looking serious, Morgan saw the sense but was still slightly lost for words.

"Um… yeah, I'll talk to him when I can. I'll talk tomorrow, things are still pretty tender." He said, Paula nodded and walked past him, he looked at her as she walked away, what had happened to her?

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Hannah looked in the mirror at her own reflection.

She was tired, she had actually cried herself to sleep last night. Her blonde hair was sticking up in places and her eyes were red and sore. She took a deep breath as she tried to tidy herself up a bit.

She hadn't stopped thinking of Billy since his death… Every moment was like a dagger in her heart but she could do nothing about it, she needed to pull herself together though, not just for herself but for Jamie. Her daughter hadn't spoken a word since she fainted, Hannah had tried talking to her but she was comatose, when she woke she was nearly no different, she wasn't eating, barely drinking and showing no emotion whatsoever.

Hannah pulled her hair back into a bun and splashed some water on her face that was in the bowl. She needed to pull herself together, no more moping around and no more feeling sorry for herself. She had her time to mourn and Billy wouldn't want her to be like this, the feeling in her throat came back but no tears accompanied it, maybe she had no more tears left to cry?

"Hannah?" Carol's voice rang out softly from behind the closed door, Hannah walked over and unlocked it as she saw the woman, her eyes full of concern.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry, you'd been in there for a while and… well…"

"It's okay, I understand. Is she any better?" Hannah asked, Carol shook her head as the mothers eyes rested on her daughter, she was still lying in the bed facing the ceiling, exactly the way she was half an hour ago.

"No… I'm so sorry." She consoled but Hannah held up a hand.

"I know Carol… Everyone is, doesn't change anything…" she said, she rested beside her daughter and held her hand, she felt pressure back but no change in her expression. "Hey sweetie, it's Mommy… I'm here sweetie… It's okay…"

"No it's not." She said bluntly, Hannah's heart clenched at the words but she tried to continue.

"It will be fine sweetie…"

"Of course it won't be Mom, Billy's dead… You let him die…" she seethed, still not looking at her mother.

"Jamie…" Hannah gasped but her daughter just turned her head and fixed her with an icy stare.

"You said you'd protect us."

"I… tried…" Hannah choked but her daughter just shook her head with her own tears filling her eyes.

"You didn't… He is dead because of you!" she screamed as she rose, she bolted for the door pushing Carol out of the way, Hannah wanted to go after her but she was paralysed by her own guilt.

She was right.

It was her fault.

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2 Hours Later

Fred and Shane sat on the roof of the station on watch, the sun would be setting soon and their shift would be over. Shane was glad to have Fred with him, he wasn't much of a talker and Shane needed to think, things were in disarray now… He felt it in the group, he felt the eyes on him, since when did he become their friggin' leader?

The door from the stairwell opened and Shane turned to see Cindy step through holding dinner in her hands.

"Hey boys, we're kicking it up today. Get ready for Baked Beans a la Carol." She commented handing the two bowls she was carrying to Shane and Fred, she kissed Fred before sitting down on a spare seat next to them, she looked as exhausted as they all did, even the red top and demin jeans looked tired.

"Shane, you need to do something." She stated, Shane turned to her slightly surprised, it wasn't like Cindy to speak out.

"What do you mean?"

"This group, us, we're breaking apart." She said in a fearful voice but looking serious. Shane looked to Fred who looked from his wife to him, clearly this was her idea.

"I'm trying Cindy, but what can I do? Half of you don't know me." He complained, Cindy shook her head and waved the comment off.

"That doesn't matter, we don't need to know you Shane. But you need to do something fast. Carol just told me that Jamie yelled at Hannah blaming Billy's death on her..."

"Oh God…" Fred mumbled.

"…not to mention Hannah herself has gone back to depression. Sophia's upset that Carl shouted at her and he was crying at the time as well, now Leon just spends his time at the rifle range and Paula's going all G.I. Jane." Cindy continued but Shane cut her short.

"Come on Cindy, these are human beings! What do you expect that to do when a kid dies?"

"I'm not saying some of these actions aren't justified but Shane these people are breaking down, the kids are upset beyond anything and the parents, they don't know what to do!"

"So what do you propose then?! You want me to set up a group therapy session where we can talk about our feelings?!" Shane shouted getting in her face, she retreated and her form was replaced by Fred who was on his feet.

"Whoa Shane… Easy boy, just relax." He said placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back slightly, Shane paced around as Cindy spoke up again.

"I'm not saying there is a quick fix, I'm just saying that these people look up to you Shane, they look to you for guidance." She said calmly, Shane wiped his mouth and looked at the couple.

"So what do we do?" he asked, Cindy looked at her husband who nodded.

"We should all do our part. You can start by talking to Carl with Lori, I think he just needs to talk it out instead of shouting it, I can have Carol talk to Sophia and I can talk to Jamie with Morgan, it was his job anyway." She proposed, Shane had been regretting this moment for a while, he didn't want to talk to Carl like a father… He wasn't his father… him and Lori didn't mean that he was but… he needed to prove himself, be the father that Carl needed.

"Okay." He said, he checked his watch and saw that his shift was nearly over, he could probably ask Leon and Lam to cover the night shift for him. "Shift's over, Fred can you get Leon and Lam up here?" he asked, Fred nodded and moved off with his wife leaving Shane alone, he looked over the slowly darkening horizon and saw a lone walker crossing the park in the distance… something had to change… hopefully soon.