Chapter 21:
Gonna Get Ugly
The air was so thick in the common room Morgan could have cut it with a knife, everybody was present for dinner except for Hannah, Jamie and Leon. Leon was on watch (he still hadn't spoken to anyone since Rosie had passed), Jamie had shut herself in Cell 4C and resumed her silence and Hannah had gone to bed early, Morgan looked at the faces around him and saw the same expression on everyone's faces.
Restraint.
It had been over two weeks now since the initial outbreak and the realisation that any help was out of the question was now permanent, not to mention the fact that food was running low and most of the people here still barely knew one-another.
There were three tables set apart from each other, it was a clear show of how the group was divided that disturbed Morgan all the more.
Shane, Lori, Carl, Paula, Carol and Sophia took up one table by themselves, the usually somewhat playful Carl and Sophia were silent next to each other as Carol attempted small talk in the group, on the second table sat Fred, Cindy, Morgan, Duane and what should have been Hannah and Jamie, the third table would have Lam, Rosie, Leon and sometimes Shane but it was only Lam who sat in silence with the checklists nearby, he had become the unofficial stock taker for the station.
Morgan couldn't take the silence anymore, before what happened to Rosie and Billy there would be general hubbub and at least a few louder voices.
"I was thinking about the supply run we were talking about." Morgan said suddenly, he felt all the eyes in the room swivel towards him as Shane spoke.
"Thinking what?" he asked in his usual blunt tone.
"Thinking we need to actually… you know… do it." He said, Shane looked down at his cold meal of refried rice whilst the others had mixed reactions, although Morgan saw Paula, Lam and Fred nodding he also saw Lori whisper something to Shane as well as Carol biting her lip.
"He has a point." Paula spoke up, it was her idea to bring it up and she was obviously in support, Lori had finished whispering to Shane who stood up and spoke to Morgan.
"I know we need to make a run soon but… I don't know if we're ready yet." He questioned, Lori and Carol both nodded but Fred interrupted.
"It's not about whether we're ready or not Shane… I've seen the food supplies we have and their not good, Carol can back me up." He gestured to Carol, the woman looked worried but turned to Shane and spoke softly.
"I could make it last but… for this many people I don't know…"
"It doesn't have to be many people," Paula cut in "Just 3 or 4 who can sneak into the Costco, maybe grab some food and basic things like clothes and come back, like we talked about a few days ago."
"No, if we do a run like Costco we need to make it big… If we do small ones then a lot of effort gets spent for nothing." Shane interjected but Lori started shaking her head.
"I don't think we're ready Shane, I mean you've seen things around here at the moment we just need time to find our feet-" she tried explaining but Paula cut her off.
"For God's sakes Lori, we've been here for over a week, I think we have our feet and we need to use them."
"I understand what you're saying Paula but we can't have people going out there willy-nilly unless their prepared, we can't have untrained people taking on walkers." Shane said but Fred chipped in.
"We've all taken on walkers before Shane."
"Yeah and look at some of the people we've lost." Lam counter argued, taking Shane's side.
"Maybe those with gun training could go and those who haven't could stay behind?" Carol offered timidly but Shane shook his head.
"No, I don't want this place unprotected."
"It won't be, we'll leave behind one or two trained people, let's not forget the worst walker attack we've had since we got here was only so devastating because we were unprepared." Paula argued but Shane cut her off once more.
"No, I will not be responsible for more people dying. We wait for things to settle, we need people's minds clear if we are going to hit Costco…"
"No." a stuffy voice interrupted him, a very beaten looking Hannah stood in the doorway wrapped in a blanket, her face was a mess, her hair dishevelled, it was clear she had had a rough few hours.
"No, what?" Shane questioned, Hannah stepped forward and spoke in a shaky voice.
"No, I don't want you all to be so… careful about what happened, my son died, that's what happened. He died because of me and the fact that we were unprepared, I don't want people thinking that because something went wrong that we should just stop. Nobody but me is to blame."
"Hannah…" Lori tried chipping in but Hannah held up her hand to silence her, she walked over to Shane and looked him in the eye.
"Please… don't make me feel worse than I already do." She all but whispered, Shane looked around the room and stepped back.
"Fine, we make a quick run and I mean real quick. Anyone still up for it?" he asked.
Morgan was about to answer when his throat betrayed him, he looked to his side to look at Duane, his son had been shaky since this thing had started, the carefree and playful attitude he once had was missing replaced by fear… a fear Morgan shared… a fear that someone he loves wouldn't come back.
He couldn't put his son through that… not again.
It seemed several of the others had the same thoughts, however Paula's hand raised slowly but confidently.
"You sure?" Shane asked with a critical tone, Paula's eyes narrowed.
"I'm sure Shane, I can take them on… I want to help." She expressed, the officer nodded and looked around, his eyes settled on Morgan but nobody else realised, Morgan slowly shook his head and Shane nodded.
"Anybody else?" he asked looking around, Hannah shook her head and moved away walking solemnly back to her room, Carol followed after her with a concerned look on her face.
"I'll go." A voice came from the back of the room, Leon stood there in the same old uniform carrying a rifle, with a nod to Lam he handed the rifle to the senior officer who moved off the cover the shift.
"That's three, I'd like another but if anyone can't manage…" Shane said but he was cut short by Fred spoke up.
"I'll go, believe it or not I fixed up the generators at Costco a few times, I know a handy back entrance." He said but he was cut short slightly by his wife.
"Fred, no!" she exclaimed looking at him like he's crazy.
"Cindy, please." He said effectively silencing her, the look of rage on her face was imminent as she stood up abruptly and marched off back to her quarters, Fred sighed and followed but turned around to Shane.
"I'm still going." He said, a stale silence followed the exit before Shane spoke up.
"Well we have our group, me, Paula, Leon and, most likely, Fred. The plan is the same as we planned before but smaller, when we are away I want Lam in charge. We'll meet tomorrow, early morning guys." He said before walking off, presumably to bed. Lori started fussing over plates as Carl followed Shane and everyone started cleaning up.
All Morgan could think was that he was too afraid.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh no, oh no, oh no… Why did she open her mouth? Why did she open her big fat mouth? She shouldn't have said it… she really shouldn't have said it… it was a bad thing to say and she wasn't thinking…
Jamie was crying again, she had shut herself in a cell and had been crying for the last few hours.
She told her Mom that Billy dying was her fault… she shouldn't have said it… even if that was what she was feeling…
But it was Jamie's fault as well…
She didn't want to feel this bad anymore.
"Jamie?" a quiet voice came from outside, Jamie recognised it as Sophia's. She debated whether to open the doors but she recognised something in the girl's voice… a touch of sadness?
Jamie wiped her face and opened the door, Sophia stood there by herself holding a pillow and a blanket.
"Hi, Mom said I could sleep with you in here if you wanted, I have bedding here." She said nodding to a pillow and blanket on the floor. Jamie smiled and nodded, Sophia gave her a brief hug before they unrolled the sleeping gear and lay next to each other.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked, Jamie was about to answer 'No, I said something bad to my Mom and now I hate myself for it…' but there was that thing in Sophia's voice again, she buried her own issues out of concern for her friend.
"I'm feeling a bit better, I had an argument with Mom but… doesn't matter. Are you ok?" she asked looking at Sophia, the young girl sighed and spoke timidly.
"I… I don't think… I don't think Carl likes me." She stated in a sad tone, despite her equally sad feeling Jamie scoffed and spoke bluntly.
"Are you kidding? You two are inseparable… We're lucky you ain't married with little kids running around." She chuckled but Sophia looked at her really concerned.
"He yelled at me to leave him alone. I was only going to see if he was okay and he was angry…" she vented, her eyes started to water again but Jamie hugged her. Even though she still felt rotten inside she didn't want Sophia to feel bad.
"He doesn't hate you, maybe he was upset and he didn't want you to see?" Jamie suggested to her, Sophia just shrugged her shoulders and changed the subject.
For the rest of the evening the girls just chatted, first about the supply trip tomorrow, then Jamie's mom and why she was angry at her. Only when Sophia managed to chain-yawn 3 times did they decide to go to sleep.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They had decided to take one of the vans used to escort riot officers since it was very spacious, Paula was apprehensive about the raid on Costco but at the same time she was excited, there was something about being a valuable member of the group she was starting to relish.
"Okay so the plan is this," Shane began, the threesome of Fred, Paula and Leon along with Lori and Lam were gathered around the whiteboard in the conference room where Shane had a detailed map drawn out (courtesy of Fred's knowledge of Costco) "the four of us will use the delivery entrance into the building, luckily the drop-off links directly to the store, when we get there we will pair up, me and Paula will be a pair…"
"Great…" Paula muttered very quietly so nobody could hear.
"… and Leon and Fred will pair up. Our essentials for this trip will be canned foods, bottled water or some juice packs, frozen foods and maybe some clothing if you find anything, everyone just grab medium sized, Carol said she can work with anything."
"The generators also need fuel. There a 7-Eleven nearby?" Leon asked and Fred answered.
"Adjacent to the delivery drop-off, hit it after we finish off Costco?" Fred asked Shane.
"Good idea, but we'll have to be quick with it, and we'll need someone on lookout for when we hit it. Paula?" he asked.
"Sure." She conceded, for the entire dick that Shane was he knew how to organise a raid.
"I think we also keep several vehicles gassed up. Never know when we might have to make a quick exit." Lori suggested, Shane nodded and wrote it on the board on the list they had compiled.
"Great. Everybody get your weapons from the armoury, we'll leave in 10 minutes." Shane announced and the meeting was disbanded, everyone filed out as Paula followed Leon and Fred to the armoury, as they turned a corner Leon spoke in a firm tone.
"Now let's be clear about this before we leave, you two are civilians, you may know how to shoot but when me or Shane give the order, you obey." He said before walking into the armoury, Paula scoffed and turned to Fred but the middle aged man just shrugged and followed him. Paula went to find her pistol, it was exactly where she had left it, ammo and all, Fred went to get his rifle but Leon handed him a pistol just like Paula's instead.
"No rifle, too loud. Everyone's on pistols, just like Paula." He said, again talking down to Paula slightly, she didn't want to think that Rosie's death had affected Leon too much but in the last few days he had been… rougher.
"Sure." Fred said as he found ammo for the pistol, Paula turned to see Shane walk up with his shotgun shouldered, it was the only shotgun of its kind in the station and Shane always held on to it like it had threatened to leave him for another owner.
"Need shells?" Leon asked and Shane nodded, Leon handed him a box and Shane started to sort through, now the meeting was over and everyone was preparing the weaponry Paula was starting to feel more nervous.
"Silent weapons?" Shane asked and Leon pulled a box out from the bottom shelf, it had a lot of things in it, axes, crowbars, baseball bats, even a spiked club.
"Take your pick." Leon said and Shane picked up one of the sturdier looking axes.
"You kept these things around in case of the walking dead?" Paula asked sarcastically, Shane just chuckled before resuming his normal gloomy face.
"Nah, these are confiscated weapons. We usually just dispose of them when we arrest someone, now what do you want, crowbar? Axe?" he asked picking up the items as he read them off, Paula took a slightly smaller hand-axe, she test swung it and it felt slightly heavy on the end.
Hopefully she would have no use for it.
"What happens if it all goes to hell and we get scattered?" Paula asked as the thought entered her head, Shane looked up from his shotgun which he was cleaning yet again.
"We find whatever way we can to get back to station, we all know the area well enough to make our own way. We just make sure not to bring a whole heap o' walkers back with us." He said, he held the shotgun up, satisfied with the quality, Fred and Leon walked together past Paula back to the cafeteria, Paula put her pistol in her waistband and grabbed the axe and followed them.
In the common room Lori, Carl, Lam, Cindy and Hannah were all there to see them off. As Fred walked through he embraced Cindy as she cried quietly into his shoulder, Paula couldn't help being once more reminded of Tom, she shook the thoughts from her head as Lori hugged Shane goodbye, however she noticed Carl simply leave the room, although she wished to pursue him she simply accepted the pat of good luck from Lam.
Shane withdrew from Lori and looked directly at Lam.
"You stay on watch until we get back." He told the man but Cindy cut over him.
"I'll be on watch as well, I won't move until you come back." Cindy said and she hugged Fred again, together Cindy and Lori travelled with the foursome to the rear of the building, Shane went outside first with his shotgun ready, he signalled the coast was clear and everyone followed him, Paula turned to see Lori and Cindy closing the door behind them and sealing the building.
"Paula, you're with me in the front!" Shane ordered, Paula climbed into the passenger seat as Shane jumped in the driver's seat and started the ignition, Shane passed her the walkie they would be using to contact the station.
"Call in that walker over there." He ordered as he started the engine and began to pull out, Paula saw the small female walker limping toward the van, as Shane accelerated away Paula spoke into the device.
"It's Paula, we got a walker coming up the back, she might follow us but I um… thought I'd let you know." She said, the walkie crackled as the voice of Lam replied.
"Got it, thanks."
"Try to keep radio silence when we are in the store, if a walker overhears the walkie they'll probably come runnin'." Shane said as they turned into a back road, Paula heard a faint thud from the rear of the van and chuckled as she knew that either Fred or Leon had fallen over. A few more walkers walked into the path but Shane dodged them as the shopping district came into few.
"Oh God…this is gonna get ugly." Paula muttered.