Time flowed as released all my emotions from the ridged wall I built for them. It wasn't all about what had occurred earlier with Perseus but feelings I had contained for thousands of years were finally…liberated. Percy was only the beginning of all my worries, he became the arrow that pierced my barrier. My feelings for Orion, I still felt the hatred and sadness almost as if it were the day of his death. My fallen hunters whose name and memory I shall forever keep in my heart. And Percy…Whom I trusted, and betrayed me or so I thought. All these emotions returned at once.
Perseus wasn't a bad man… I said it. He was but a victim of my brother cruel pranks… a victim of fate itself. I could never comprehend how the fates could be so cruel to a man such as Perseus. A kind man but very troubled. I laughed at our similarities. We both bottled up our feelings, placing them behind a thick barrier. We tried to move onward but these pent up feelings would always return.
I recognize it all know. Perseus was broken… and I was his last straw. His smile wasn't one of satisfaction but of a man whose only wish was to die. The fate of those that met their demise in both wars, weighed heavily in his mind. His soul could only bottle up so much. He was bound to break sooner or later.
My memories of the previous night began to return to me. Since I am a goddess, the effects of that foul concoction shook me dramatically to the point I nearly lost all my senses. Compared to Perseus, a demigod, he probably lost all reason but I broke him, he could not do anything to stop himself. The cruel thing… I enjoyed it, disregarding Perseus state. I was able to stop him but when he took me, and yet… I felt exhilarated. The feeling was unknown to me. I only craved for more.
Unthinkable that a maiden goddess such as me would indulge in such… foul acts. Even then, my body did not obey me to a certain degree... I still had control. Sure it wasn't Perseus fault of what occurred but I still blamed him…an innocent man. Such a horrid person, I am. I am but a hypocrite, a sad being upon this earth.
As I pushed myself away from Aphrodite, I look directly at her eyes. They were filled with compassion and understanding. I rose to my feet, holding out my hand to Aphrodite, pulling her back on her feet.
"Sorry… Aphrodite," I said," I lost control of myself… thank you,"
"Don't worry… just next time don't try to hit me so hard," Aphrodite said," You know its hurt, right?"
"Yes I know… Sorry," I said.
You know, Aphrodite is a not a bad person. I kind of always perceived her as a loose woman in the strictest sense. Now that I look back, she is kind of nice… but she has a maternal feel to her. It is comforting, I guess love does not necessarily mean romantic love but it may also be maternal love. She might be a bit of an airhead... why am I lying? She totally is one but I still get a nagging feeling that there is more to her than what meets the eye.
"I think…that I understand" is said," Under the circumstances, I was unable to think coherently….I remember everything now,"
"Including what happened last night." Aphrodite said, giving a soft smile.
I nodded. Trying to push such foul thoughts away. These feeling of desire would not go away. It disgusted me. How could I, a maiden goddess who's kept her oath of chastity for many millennia, feel such feelings of…arousal?
"So how was your first time?" said Aphrodite, giving a pompous smile.
"It is none of your business wench… Don't push me" I said.
"okay…okay… don't get all irritated," said Aphrodite," But answer me one question, you were conscious…weren't you?"
I turned to look her straight in the eyes but I could not deny it. I nodded my head, in response. Aphrodite jump up in joy, for what reason, I don't have a single clue. The joy she held faded as quickly as it had come. Perseus' condition derailed whatever degraded plans she thought up. I guess old habits never die.
"Jokes aside…Artemis are you alright?" she said," it must have been… difficult."
Difficult… what would you understand, Aphrodite? You have been with many men over the ages. I have only been close to two men, Orion and Perseus. But my Apollo always tricked me. With Orion, he was an overprotective brother but now, I don't know what is in his mind. I guess it might have been one his heavy pranks he always pulls. I just don't know any more.
"It… was disgusting and filthy…But… I felt some… pleasure from it," I said, "why?"
"A natural reaction, I guess…oh… also I forgot to tell you…that potion amplifies a gods feelings but works as a mere lust potion for a mortal," I said," so it wouldn't affected you unless you held feelings for Perseus… I will let you figure that out."
"Wait… so you are saying that I love Perseus…"I said.
No that can't be... I can't love a man. The one time I did, it ended with tragedy when I killed Orion. As I figured out later, it was all but a trick by my brother. Even then, I did not hate my brother. He would always keep men away from me by any means. But why is Perseus so different? Sure his feats are unmatchable, but what makes him different? Especially to Apollo. Does my brother fancy him? I have heard he has had some affairs with mortal men. Or is it because of his humbleness? He has refused godhood, almost unthinkable as any mortal hero would have accepted. His loyalty, he never failed the people that needed him. He is the only mortal man to gain my trust… not by impressing me but by becoming a friend… maybe that friendship had evolved into something more.
"You said it not me…" Aphrodite said.
No this is different from what I felt for Orion. I felt great admiration for him, I mistook it for love. What I feel for Percy is more than that. I want to protect and keep him safe. I wish to hold him in my arms and never let him go. He will be mine… no, what am I thinking? Such thoughts should not exist in my mind but I long for him. I want him to be at my side. I want to feel that… warmth again. No, I mustn't. He can never be with me. His love and loyalty for that Athena spawn is too great.
Ha… I now comprehend calypso. The feelings of a dreaded one sided love. A love I can't hope to be returned. Love, what is it exactly? Admiration, obsession, or is it an intimate loyalty? I don't know. Perseus is a bit different… he makes me feel different.
"Aphrodite, I are making me… love Perseus" I demanded. Closing up, to Aphrodite, grabbing her arms to keep her in place.
"Artemis….That…that is all you, you are discovering you love for him," she said," now… will you let me go…you are making me nervous."
"Alright…don't worry," I said, letting her go." I know what I must do,"
She was relieved to be released. Rubbing the areas I had held her by.
"Determined I as usual… don't worry too much about Annabeth," Aphrodite said," she has a few secrets… she wouldn't want anyone to know."
How? I thought gods and goddess couldn't read each other's minds. Unless her domain over love, bypasses that. Before I could say anything, a bright, golden flash announced the arrival a god. Hermes had arrived.
"Zeus has called a meeting now…over what transpired last night," Hermes said.
In a golden flash, we teleported to the throne room, leaving a silent room.
*well... another short chapter... i promise longer chapters during winter break. If it comes out odd to you readers, Just remember its a guy trying to write in a girl's point of view. Kind of difficult chapter to write...going to rewrite when i can. if you want to give me suggestions its fine, i will consider them.