The Face With Two Skeletons
by Tropicwhale
disclaimer: I am not the owner of the characters nor the world but this date?…that's motherfecking mine.
Warning: hem, my bad language. What can I say? I love to cuss.
Author Talk: My cashews, we're coming around the bend, the final stretch, down to the wire. We're almost through this journey started so long ago. Last four chapters. HOLY FUCK! When did that happen? I am beginning to suspect that I didn't want this story to end. That I could keep going on forever. Which is, of course, impossible with a finite genre such as murder mystery. One should always find the murderer at the end of the story, and, after that, wrap up. We are now in wrap up. Honestly...I'm going to tell you more at the end...of the story...maybe in the sequel (now in official development!)
Chapter Fifty Two
It had been a week since the Bradley Oscarmann case had finished. Zack was back at work, the rebuilding of his apartment was practically complete (according to Hodgins who was still smarting that his expensive security system was defeated by a guy climbing over a wall), and everyone, except Hodgins, stopped looking at Zack sideways in case he was going to have a messy emotional breakdown. He had cremated Bradley and Olivia Oscarmann's remains and scattered them both in a river late one night. He did it at night because...it was private. Anne's remains were buried according to her will and Zerbrowski's were recovered and cremated due to the lack of a will. Zack supposed that James never got around to it before being murdered. Zack never bothered to ask what happened to Hector's body. Zack was still living with Booth. Their daily route barely changed with the exceptions that Booth dropped Zack off at the Metro station that would get him within walking distance of the Jeffersonian and they hadn't had sex since the day Zack had been kidnapped.
Zack wondered about the sudden lack of cotius. He wondered if it was because he was no longer sexually attractive to Seeley due to the fact he had had sex with Bradley who was a murderer. He wondered if it could be because Seeley no longer felt attracted due to the fact that Zack was no longer a "damsel in distress" and thus no longer appealed to Seeley's heroic nature. Also, Seeley told Zack he didn't like to share his lovers. Perhaps that meant that Zack, because he slept with Bradley, was no longer attractive to Booth? It was problematic. It was understandable...but problematic.
Zack was at the Whole Foods trying to decide if he could sneak kale past Booth's palette when his cell phone rang. "Dr. Zachary Uriah Addy speaking, who is calling?" Zack had exception phone manners.
"Zack, its Booth."
"Let me guess, there's been another murder?"
"No?" Booth sounded confused, which, in turn, confused Zack. He decided that if he cooked the kale he could pass it off as spinach. He put a bunch into a plastic bag and then into his basket. "Where are you?"
"The supermarket."
"Why?"
"So I have supplies to cook dinner tonight?" Zack asked rather than stated. Booth was confusing him with his words.
"Nope, we're going out."
"Oh." Zack stared down at his shopping basket. So far, it just had the kale and two lunch portions of mac n' cheese in it. "Why?"
"Zack? The case is over...remember what we planned to do?" Zack was silent a long time, he was walking to the meat department. "Zack, remember?" Booth's voice lowered. "I said I'd take you out on a date." Zack blushed, pausing in picking up a package of two pork chops.
"Uh" Zack's heart thudded.
"Zack?" Seeley said over the line.
"I'm sorry but the person you are trying to reach is currently out of service, please check with your provider and try again later."
"What?"
"I think you broke my brain." Booth's laugh made Zack put down the pork chops and grab the plastic divider. "Stop that. You are making my knees weak. That is very inconvenient event for my current location"
"Then come home and make it convenient."
"Ok, see you in fifteen." Zack hung up the phone, grabbed the pork chops and went to pay the cashier
Zack got home, and found it strange that he now thought of Booth's apartment as home. Before he could fully put his key into the lock the door flew open. Seeley had his hand on the doorknob, mouth slightly open, dressed in a suit with no tie, his hair styled and Zack's brain stopped. "Uh…" Seeley blinked and moved out of the way. Zack put the kale, the pork chops and the mac n cheese away. He looked at Seeley standing in the doorway of the kitchen and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his blue jeans. They were new. Angela had taken him shopping after work on Wednesday and they had gotten Zack a new wardrobe. She said he had looked hot in them...Zack found them tight and itchy. Things were awkward for a minute and 32 seconds. Zack counted.
"I suddenly feel overdress."
"That's funny. I feel underdressed." They looked at each other for another 45 seconds.
"Meet in the middle?" Seeley suggested. "I'll put on jeans and you put on a blazer?"
"But I am comfortable….wouldn't you rather be comfortable?"
"I am taking you to a nice place, Zack."
"And?"
"You gotta put on a nicer shirt." Zack looked down at his button up. It was new. He looked back at Seeley
"This is a new shirt. It's a work shirt and one Angela said that I could wear to court dates. I believe that this is an appropriate shirt for a date. I will change my pants. I really don't like these jeans, they need to be worn it more." Zack pushed past Seeley and went to change his pants, leaving Seeley wondering what had just happened.
Ten minutes later they left the apartment, Seeley refusing to tell Zack where they were going. Zack had deduced that it could not be the diner nor any of the bars that they, as teammates, had frequented before. "Where are we going?" He asked as they swiped their SmarTrip cards for the metro.
"You'll just have to be patient, Zack."
"This is not a lack of patience. This is suspicion."
"They look the same on you."
"I am aware. That is why I made the verbal differentiation." Seeley just smiled. Zack narrowed his eyes and they got off in two stops.
The restaurant wasn't fancy. It was nice though. It was housed in a building dating back to the mid 1850's, with marble columns and an embossed tin ceiling. The floors, however, were new and clearly re-purposed wood. The tables and booths had faux leather seats and the tables were dark hardwood. The bar was very well stocked. Seeley had made a reservation and they were seated immediately.
The waitress smiled at Booth who smiled back prompting an discreet eye roll from Zack. You can get the Alpha Male ex-Army Ranger Federal Agent out of the societal heteronormal expections but you can't take the heteronormal behaviors out of the Alpha Male ex-Army Ranger Federal Agent. Seeley looked back at Zack who was reading his menu. "What?"
"Nothing."
"Zack."
"Booth."
"Zack?"
"Can we not pretend that this is something it isn't?" Zack stared hard at Booth who shifted in his seat and looked down.
"I don't know what you mean." Zack put down his menu and laid his arms down on the table.
"I mean that I do not believe that I am sexually attractive to you any more now that my life is out of harm's way. I mean that your natural state is to be a heteronormal alpha male as exhibited by you flirting with the female server. I am not saying that I disagree with your behavior, only that is natural for you. I am going to be moving out and back to the apartment above Hodgins' garage soon. Perhaps it would be best if we take this dinner for what it is, the end of a short term finite romantic sequence." Seeley looked at him, serious. "Please don't shoot me." Zack felt compelled to add in a deadpan voice.
"I see." Seeley said. "This has nothing to do with the fact that I may have been waiting for you to be okay before re-initiating a sexual relationship with you?" Their discussion paused when the server brought their drinks, a beer for Booth and a Dr. Pepper for Zack. "We need a few minutes, thanks." Seeley brushed her off. She smiled and walked away.
"I processed my grief for Bradley. I am fine."
"And everything else? You've been on autopilot since that day."
"Yes." Zack confirmed and was confused by Seeley's behavior.
"I don't believe you. I am trying to be a gentleman and give you your space. You held your best friend in your arms as he was dying after being kidnapped by him. That's a really difficult thing to deal with for most people."
"You do realize that I am not most people. I process things quickly and differently. I am glad that I was there. I am glad that his last moments on this earth were with me. It was something I regretted from the first time I lost him. That I wasn't there to hold him. That he died alone. Your attempt to be a gentleman is both unwarranted and wasted on me. Also, I tend to operate on autopilot when I am at home. My mind is usually filled with mathematics and advanced physics. You have to snap me out of it in order for me to function in any social situation...that's why I have such a rigid schedule. If I have made decisions on what I have to do each day such as cook, brush my teeth, shower, or work out then I don't have to focus on them and spend my mental capacities on much more interesting things."
"You weren't like that before."
"Yes, I was. My moving in with you was an abnormal situation. Once the case was solved, the facts revealed, and I processed them I returned to my regular routine."
"Oh."
"That is not to say that I did not enjoy our sexual relations; only that I was waiting for you to initiate. I assumed you lost interest because I had sex with Bradley and you are sexually possessive. That and I was no longer a damsel in distress." Seeley was smiling. "What did I say?"
"You assumed." Zack's face fell from confused to miffed. "You guessed." Seeley's smile was huge and made Zack's heart beat faster due to several chemical reactions in his brain and body.
"This is why I try not to guess. I do not guess because I am always wrong." Zack admits.
"I like it when you guess. It's cute." Seeley met Zack's admission with one of his own. They stare at each other, amusement and confusion. Seeley licked his lips and sipped his beer. "They have fancy mac n cheese here. It has bacon in it." The agent offered.
"I am getting their blue cheese hamburger….with sweet potato fries." Seeley narrowed his eyes.
"Why am I not surprised that you already figured out what to get?"
"Because you have spent more than five minutes with me? This does not feel like a date." The waitress came back at that moment, barely blinked at what she overheard. Seeley got the steak with vegetables. Zack got his burger.
"What is a date suppose to feel like?" Seeley asked after the woman moved away. Zack shrugged.
"I should be more nervous...trying to flirt...getting to know you. But, this is very comfortable, I am terrible at flirting, and we already know each other. I am more confused than nervous." Seeley smiled. "I like being around you."
"I like spending time with you too."
"I will miss cooking dinner. It is clear you do not cook often or well."
"What? I am a good cook."
"Seeley, two nights ago you burnt the spaghetti. I am not sure how that happened; only that you said that you would watch the sauce and the noodles while I went to take a shower."
"One time."
"You don't have any spices or herbs except for salt, black pepper, powdered garlic, barbeque sauce and that weird salad seasoning."
"I have ketchup and mustard."
"They are condiments... and not seasoning."
"They flavor food, they are seasoning."
"Seeley, you are being ridiculous. You know that, right?" Seeley grinned at him
"I will grill for you and you will see that a man doesn't need more than salt, pepper and ketchup." Zack shook his head. "What?"
"You are very strange."
"I'm strange?"
"Yes."
"You're the bone squint."
"And? I never said that I wasn't strange only that you were...Seeley, don't try to win this argument...you will lose."
"I dunno. I think I've already won." Seeley sipped his beer. Zack cocked his head at forty-five degree angle to the side. Seeley leaned forward over the table and gestured for Zack to mimic the position. "See, I am out on a date with this really cute, smart, funny guy who is full of surprises." Zack blinked, nonplussed. Seeley's grin flickered briefly.
"You are speaking about me, correct?" Zack asked.
"Yeah." Zack looked down at the table. Booth was getting uncomfortably holding the position poised over the table. "Zack?" Zack looked up and Booth kissed him, full on the lips, in public, then sat back. Zack blinked at him then sat back himself.
"I am not the only person at this table that is full of surprises."
"Good." Seeley stated "Wouldn't want you to get bored." Seeley slid his foot alongside Zack's.
"That is a good idea. If I get bored I tend to retreat into my own head to run proofs of theorems and then you will think that I am still grieving again." Seeley shook his head. Now that he understood Zack's sense of humor, it was easier to get past the lack of vocal modulation. "So what is after dinner? Home?"
"We could always go see a movie."
"Or a play. We are right by Ford's Theatre." Seeley flinched.
"What?"
"You do realize that I am related to John Wilkes Booth*, right?" Zack cocked his head to forty-five degrees, examine Booth's bone structure and comparing it to the famous Booth family.
"That is impossible. You share no familial similarities. Junius Booth, the Booth brothers' father? was of English descent, as was their mother. None of the three American sons had children. John Wilkes was shot, Edwin and Junius Jr lived and died in New York City. And Junius' legitimate English family is lost to history. You are of Italian and Irish descent. There is no way you are related to the famous assassin. Besides, if you were, you would probably ended up in theatre and not the federal service." Zack shrugged as their food came.
"My grandpappy doesn't lie."
"I do not know your grandpappy. I only recognize the statistical impossibility, the historical facts and your bone structure." Zack shrugged and began eating his hamburger with extreme pleasure. When next he looked up, Seeley wasn't eating but staring at him. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No. I just...that's always worried me. That I'd end up being a disgrace to this country." Zack shrugged.
"Actually, Edwin Booth is considered to be his generation's greatest Hamlet...and he once saved the life of Robert Lincoln at a train station in New Jersey. Junius Booth Jr. was a successful show business manager. John Wilkes was an amazing actor who literally fell into the wrong crowd due to an unfortunate series of events involving runaway slaves of a friend and the death of that friend and his father in a battle surrounding the farm of a Quaker family over the runaway slaves that were hiding with the Quaker family...John Wilkes was so angry that there were no charges brought against the Quaker family even when they took a non-violence stance and his friends started the altercation...he eventually fell into company of the Surratt family...and the rest was history...did you know he tried to kidnap Lincoln some time before he assassinated him? It's an interesting fact that history tends to forget. Also, John Wilkes's co-cospirators, George Atzerodt and Lewis Powell were in charge of killing the Vice President and the Secretary of State, respectively, that same night. He just happened to be the famous one of the conspirators. Which is why history remembers his name and not the names of the assassins of Garfield or McKinley. One of which was responsible for air conditioning...but that's another story."
"Zack...you have no idea what this means to me."
"You are not related to a famous gunman. No. I understand. Your loyalty and patriotism is an important part of your self-image." Seeley blinked at him. "What?"
"Nothing. Nevermind." They ate in silence for a few minutes. They were both contemplating how out of their depth they both were feeling. Zack was also trying to make an effort to concentrate on the here and now rather that to drift toward the promise and safety of pure mathematics. He knew Seeley wouldn't like it and would see it as an indication that the date was a failure. Seeley, for his part, figured that Zack had already drifted off and was trying to think up ways to drag his attention back to the date. "When's the next time you and the Copperheads have a game?"
"Next Saturday. Why?"
"Would you mind if I came and watched?"
"No. That would be acceptable." Silence descend again.
"What time next Saturday, Zack?"
"What? Oh, 10 am."
"I'll be there." More silence. It was getting to the point where Zack was starting to notice it.
"I am going to have to redecorate the apartment."
"Really?"
"Hodgins will decorate it and I will hate everything. He means well but...his tastes tend to remind me of organic matter."
"I don't understand."
"Although, if I am lucky then he will replace all of my DVDs. I am really sort of mad at Bradley for that. It had taken me years to find some of those documentary titles. Not to mention I had a favorite pillow. It was synthetic fiber which means when he blew up my home it melted." Seeley tilted his head and looked confused. "I am trying to fill the silence."
"Oh. Are you glad that you are back to work?"
"Yes. I have begun research on a new academic paper. I was disturbed on how the bones of both Anne Zerbrowski and Olivia Oscarmann resembled the bones of twenty-somethings. Specific fusions and adjustments hadn't happen...the pelvic floors and the teeth for example. It was a strange phenomena. Dr. Brennan assures me that, rare though it is, it does happen. It has to do with genetic, hormonal and environmental factors."
"Could it have led to you just missing markers for their age?"
"That is also possible. Women in their twenties don't have joint deterioration unless they are in athletics, dance, or gymnastics. But that is a very different deterioration than one from a disease. There was also no evidence either woman ever received their wisdom teeth. That's a genetic abnormality. Combine that with bone growth retardation and-" Zack cut himself off.
"What?"
"Angela has always told me that I shouldn't talk about work on dates." Zack sounded disappointed. "She says that I should talk about what I do for fun."
"You love your job, Zack. It's fun to you...as weird as that is."
"It is fun. I learn new things every day. I love the discovery and the fact that I can completely strip a skeleton of flesh in a few hours. I am good at my job."
"You are passionate. That's not a bad thing."
"I also tend to speak with correct technical terminology which puts people off."
"Yeah, I know."
"You were put off by it. I am constantly trying to dumb down my language for you."
"I'm glad. When I can understand what you are talking about I like you."
"Good. Because its a bit of a headache for me to do." Zack said and then "I like to know my efforts are being appreciated."
"So after dinner, you want to catch a movie?"
"There is nothing in theaters that I really want to see. You?" Seeley's face fell.
"No, not really."
"Then what would be the point of going to see an expensive movie neither of us want to see and would merely be an excuse just to go back to your place to talk about it in a transparent attempt to engage in a series of sexual acts hopefully resulting in mutual cotius when we could just bypass the charade and go straight back and have sex?"
"Because, maybe I want tonight to be special and maybe I like the charade." Zack furrowed his eyebrows. "You don't understand." Zack shook his head. Seeley paused to group his thoughts. "I like taking women, and now you, out for dinner and a movie or drinks or whatever. I like the company. I like the excuse to get out of my daily routine. It makes me feel alive." He held up his hand as Zack opened his mouth "I don't need the chemistry lesson on why it makes me feel alive. The experience of it is enough. First dates are important. We're sitting in a mutually awkward situation expected to work our way out of it together. If we can't then we really shouldn't go any further and if we do then that means we should do it again. Think of it as an experiment. If it fails you move on to different variables. If it works out then you try it again after adjusting some of the paradigms for a finer, clearer result. You repeat until you end up married or heartbroken." Zack nodded.
"I understand. But I still don't want to go see a movie."
"Why not?"
"Because, we sit in the dark not enjoying something that cost a lot of money for what? Something in common to talk about when you could just take an interest in your date in the first place."
"So, what about a walk?"
"That would be acceptable. Would you-" Just then a blonde woman walked up to the table, smiling at Booth. Zack felt his heart sink and then sink lower as Seeley stood to give her a hug with that smile on his fact. He recognized that the sensation of his heart sinking was merely the result of….some chemical and physiological reaction.
"Seeley Booth, as I live and breath!" She said with a distinctly Southern drawl. "How are you, hunny?"
"Great! Moira, this is Zack. Zack this is Moira."
"Hello." The scientist said meekly.
"Hi there!" She then turned back to Seeley. "Sweety, how is your grandpappy?"
"He's fine. Hanging in there, the stubborn old goat."
"I'll just bet he is. Aunt Ida finally got her foot fixed."
"Really? That's good to hear. How's your mother doing?"
"Ida is recuperating at her house."
"So not good."
"One of these days you are going to find Ida's body dumped somewhere horrible."
"I don't want to know! Plausible deniability is a thing."
"Nor do I, but if I didn't report it...I'd be an accessory, right?"
"Right."
"Well, I gotta get going, it was lovely to see you again, Seeley. Nice to meet you." She threw at Zack and breezed away. Seeley's smile was maxed out as he sat back down.
"She was an old friend. Her Aunt Ida used to date my uncle Jed. We used to see a lot of each other at family functions."
"Oh."
"What?"
"I thought she was an ex-girlfriend." Seeley looked at Zack who was playing with his food.
"Oh. Well, she wasn't." Zack pushed away his burger. He was full. "You ok?"
"I am full." Zack said, confused by Seeley again. "Is it always going to be like this? Am I always going to be confused by your behavior?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I'm pretty sure I am going to find your behavior confusing."
"Then why are we trying?"
"Because we enjoy being confused."
"That isn't logical."
"No, Spock, it isn't." Seeley said and Zack smiled. He enjoyed being compared to that specific character. "But, can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"Do you like being the reason I have a smile on my face all day?" Zack looked down.
"Yes."
"When you think about me when I'm not around, are you smiling?"
"Yes."
"Good, that makes me happy. Do you enjoy it when we are together?"
"Very much. I enjoy that I don't always have to have a conversation with you."
"I enjoy having you in my bed at night, and having dinner with you. I even have started to enjoy you saying creepy scientific things out of the blue."
"Define 'creepy scientific things'."
"You know….when you are thinking on a problem and you go 'I should really just test the rat droppings for bone fragments' or something..don't look at me like that. You do say things like that." Zack was, indeed, giving Seeley a look.
"I would never examine rodent excrement for bone fragments. That would be Hodgins' job. I would swap the bones for particulate evidence and then examine the trabecular tissue to discern possible causes for bone trauma."
"See, that's what I am talking about." Zack shook his head. Seeley signaled for the check.
"You are so weird."
"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment."
"I don't understand. I did not mean it as a compliment."
"You like me, correct?"
"Yes."
"Then if I am weird, and you like me that means you like weird...and that makes it a compliment." Seeley handed the server the credit card and grins as she walks away.
"I do not like your logic."
"I don't like that you lied to Hodgins to make it sound like a hit and run driver." Zack's face fell.
"Thought I forgot about that?"
"No. Yes. I-he….I can take care of myself. I am capable. I am not that young….I am a lot smarter than most people and just because I have difficulty in communicating that fact and refuse to engage in everyday activities that are extremely dangerous statistically and physically speaking does not mean that I cannot lie." Zack said. The server had come and gone and Seeley was escorting Zack from the restaurant while Zack was full on ranting. "Nor does it mean that just because I was nearly blown up and implicated in a couple of murders that I cannot compartmentalize. I function as an adult. I make the most logical and simple choices that are available. Everyone else make the obvious choice which is usually the least logical and also probably more expensive in the long run. I have enough money in my IRA to retire at age forty-five, I have enough in my savings to travel the world on a whim if there is ever an archaeological dig that I get to be a part of and I have insurance on everything that I lost. I took you up on your offer to live with you because I was literally stuck in Limbo! What if I got a hotel and ended up in the same position? It would have been very bad. What is this?" Seeley had walked Zack two blocks and gotten him an ice cream cone.
"Dessert." Seeley had one too.
"You are trying to distract me." Zack accused.
"Yes. Is it the right flavor?" It was vanilla. Seeley had chocolate.
"Yes." Seeley grinned and Zack blushed. They walked to the nearest park and took a lap, eating their ice cream cones and chatting before going home.
Author After Note: I reread all of the reviews for this fic. I love you guys...from that friendly distance we were talking about… Also this chapter was a bitch! ALL the Awkward that it seeped from the scene into my fingertips and refused to write itself! I may have gotten distracted by writing a killer Spike scene in "Take this Job and Shove It" involving an elevator and a dick...that sounded a lot more sexual then I originally intended..whoops?…..Now I have to write the consequences of that scene and the follow up to this scene which is a sexy scene….and yup...when did chapters become scenes to me? WTF, mate?! #yoho #yoho #atheatrelifeforme
Also, I will be going back and re-editing some major flaws in this story (I used their instead of they're a few times, used a misgendered word for Anne's lover (not masseuse, masseur. Or, better yet, massage therapist) I have a good friend I work with who is a male massage therapist and he has it rough. Sexism is alive and well in his industry inverted from how it is in most other industries. I told him about this story and mentioned that I was using the wrong word and to fix it. I will also take this moment to say that Anne's lover lost his job and license for having an affair with a client. It's a huge deal in that field. That is all..)
*OK! This keeps getting mentioned in the show. It bugs me because Seeley Booth is from Philadelphia and the Booths were local to Harford County, Maryland (I've been to the house where they grew up in). John Wilkes Booth died without issue (no children) shot to death in the head and Edwin Booth ended up in New York City and once saved Robert Lincoln (Abe and Mary's son) from being run over by a train AND was his generation's Hamlet! Junius Booth Jr. has no record of any children. Although Junius Booth Sr. had another (legitimate) family in England. THERE IS NO WAY OUR BOOTH IS DESCENDED FROM THE FAMOUS AMERICAN THEATRICAL FAMILY. PERIOD. It bugs me that they take such attention to science in the show and then throw out the historical stuff….actually one of the reasons I stopped watching the show. I got so annoyed with so much! But I still love Zack and..yeah, my version's better :P
Love from the Awkward Isle;
Tropic